post written by: Marc Chernoff

9 Reasons it’s Time to Move On


9 Reasons it’s Time to Move On

It happens to you slowly as you grow.  You discover more about who you are and what you want, and then you realize that there are changes you need to make.  The lifestyle you’ve been living no longer fits.  The people you’ve known forever no longer see things the way you do.  So you cherish all the great memories, but find yourself moving on.

Here are nine reasons it’s time…

  1. You can learn from your history, but you can’t live in it. – You can clutch the past so tightly to your chest that it leaves your arms too full to embrace the present.  Sometimes we avoid experiencing where we are because we have developed a belief, based on past experiences, that it is not where we should be or want to be.  But the truth is, where you are now is exactly where you need to be to get to where you want to go tomorrow.  Read The Power of Now.
  2. Some things aren’t meant to be. – Everything from your past does not belong in your present.  To hold onto relationships and circumstances that have already moved on without you is to stay stuck in a place and time that no longer exists.  Moving on doesn’t mean you completely forget the wonderful things from your past, it just means that you find a positive way of surviving without them in your present.
  3. Life is shorter than is often seems. – While you are complaining about all the little problems in your life, somebody is desperately fighting for their right to live.  You own every minute that you pass through, and that it is up to you to make the best use of each one of them.  Because someday, suddenly, there will be no more minutes.
  4. Holding on to pain is self abuse. – Your past has given you the strength and wisdom you have today, so celebrate it.  Don’t let it haunt you.  Replaying a painful memory over and over in your head is a form of self abuse.  Toxic thoughts create a toxic life.  Make peace with yourself and your past.  When you heal your thoughts, you heal the health of your happiness.  So stop focusing on old problems and things you don’t want in your future.  The more you think about them, the more you attract what you fear into your everyday experiences – you become your own worst enemy.  Read Full Catastrophe Living.
  5. Some things are out of your control. – No matter what happens, no matter the outcome, you’re going to be just fine.  Let the things you can’t control, happen.  Allow the universe to bless you in surprising and joyful ways.  What if, instead of pushing so hard to make life happen, you decided to let go a little and allow life to happen to you?  What if, instead of trying to always be in control, you sometimes surrendered control to something bigger than yourself?  What if, instead of working so hard to figure out every last answer, you allowed yourself to be guided to the solution in perfect timing?
  6. The past never changes. – You can spend hours, days, weeks, months, or even years sitting alone in a dark room, over-analyzing a situation from the past, trying to put the pieces together, and justifying what could’ve or sould’ve happened.  Or you can just leave the pieces in the dark and walk out the front door into the sunlight to get some fresh air.
  7. Moving on creates positive change. – You may blame everyone else and think, “Poor me!  Why do all these crappy things keep happening to me?”  But the only thing those scenarios all have in common is YOU.  And this is good news, because it means YOU alone have the power to change things, or change the way you think about things.  There is something very powerful and liberating about surrendering to change and embracing it – this is where personal growth and evolution reside.  Read The Noticer.
  8. New opportunities are out there waiting for you. – Nobody gets through life without losing someone they love, something they need, or something they thought was meant to be.  But it is these losses that make us stronger and eventually move us toward future opportunities.  Embrace these opportunities.  Enter new relationships and new situations, knowing that you are venturing into unfamiliar territory.  Be ready to learn, be ready for a challenge, and be ready to experience something or meet someone that just might change your life forever.
  9. The world needs you to let your light shine. – The powers above added one more day in your life today, not necessarily because you need it, but because the world still needs you to let your light shine.  So starting today, fall in love.  Not necessarily with a person, but with an aim, an ambition, a passion.  What would be your reason to wake up every morning with a smile?  That’s what you need to start working on today.

Photo by: Andi Jetaime

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53 Comments

  • Wow, this is just the thing that I have been needing for the past couple of days. I am glad you published it when you did.

  • I have spent 3 years afraid to move on thinking that as soon as I do, he will come back!! Absolutley horrible way to NOT live! Thank you so very much for this!

  • Some truly wise advice packed into this short read - advice I needed to hear today. Thank you for the pep talk.

  • Just what I needed. Thanks guys for posting this. I think I am moving on…from lost love, missed opportunities. This is all in the past and I am ready to live my life, right now.

  • Your words provide me with insights everyday but I had to post today about this one…which showed me my need to try control the future …I am now going to relax and let myself be guided to the solution in perfect timing. Thank you x

  • Thank you again…So helpful!

  • Thank you! So helpful…

  • Perfect timing. I needed this and am now moving on!!

  • Well said and each and every point so true… Great advice that is so sensible and realistic, thanks.

  • “To hold onto relationships and circumstances that have already moved on without you is to stay stuck in a place and time that no longer exists.” This reminds me of Dr. Wayne Dyer’s philosophy about relationships. He says, “Sometimes, people come into your life in Act One, Scene five and leave in Act Four, Scene 1. While others will be in your life until it’s your time to leave this earthly plane.”

    I think the key is to learn detachment and to understand the meaning of the saying, “If you love it, let it go.” People don’t realize the choke hold they have on their career, dreams and relationships. Loosen your grip and life will become less stressful.

  • Truly helpful ! Had to read over and over again so I can digest every message…..thanks

  • Thanks,
    Wish me luck in leaving the past behind and moving on with my life.

  • This soooo right on time!! It is the best antidotes thus far for me!! Thank you and Go bless you two!!

  • #5 and #9 really hit home. Thanks again for sending me what I needed to hear!

  • Marc & Angel,
    I’m so glad that I found you…
    I had spent far too long in a toxic relationship that put me in a terrible damaging heart & mind space. And I allowed it. As painful as it was to let it go, I did. Your words have carried me through some very dark days and helped me turn those dark days around. I am reminded daily on how to live my life to it’s full potential and how to become a better person who makes better choices. You are my must-go-to website! Thank you both from the bottom of my almost mended heart!

  • Sometimes .. like in church .. I think these things show up in our life at the perfect time for a reason. I think .. in my situation .. we stay in something that is eventually going to hurt us worse. Letting go is hard … very hard .. but most often the best thing to do.

  • I loved every little anecdote listed here. One of you better posts in the past couple of months in my opinion.

  • Just what I needed to read. Great timing and great thoughts.

  • I can’t say it any better than Robyn did above… I too read your pages everyday and it has helped me so much with letting go of the past, relationships that were over years ago but still were alive in my head, self esteem issues and believing in myself so I can move forward and forgiveness after you have been attacked by a shark “on land”.

    My best day on the web in twelve years was the day I found your website. Somehow you always know what to say and how to say it. Thank you so much for sharing your wisdom.

  • Letting go can definitely be difficult. I’ve been going through that for the past 11 months after a quiet but painful break-up with the person that I thought I’d marry in a few years. I still have pleasant memories of her and I don’t hate them but I cannot bring myself to allow them back in my life yet.

    I have to grow, move forward in my career focus on parts of my life that I need to get better. Maybe some time down the road we can be friends, but right now its too tough to attempt and not fair to either one of us.

    I’ve grown quite a lot even with it only being 11 months. Some moments are tougher than others but, things will get better, things DO get better. Just have to keep believing that for yourself.

    I know I do.

  • This could not have been posted at a more appropriate time for me! I can’t tell you how much of a “mental boost” this article has given me.

    Thanks! And best of luck to everyone else who’s trying to move on to a better situation. :)

  • OMG! This gives me the strength to believe what I did yesterday was the best thing I can do for me. I love my girlfriend very much, but I had to end our 3 year relationship that turned toxic. I have been questioning if I did right thing, but now I’m given the extra strength to believe yes it is. Thank you very much!

  • Thank you, this truly turned my day right side up.

  • Wow! Freaking fabulous…powerful…catalytic! Thank you for another wonderful blog on such a simple, yet paralyzing situation in life that everyone faces. Everyone gets stuck in the past in some way. Thank you for some tools to get unstuck.

  • The last two posts have been like a lightening rod to me. I read a book called “Touchstones” each day for just such insights. These are a great complement to the thoughts/ideas expressed there. Thanks so much!

  • We all have things we want to do or something we want to be or a place we want to be. We dream, we scheme, we hope and pray. But we also fear. Until the dream exceeds the fear we stay stuck, don’t we?

    It’s that step we must take. The funny thing is the fear won’t go away until we take that step. I know it’s cliched, but we can’t get to second base by keeping one foot on first base.

    Take that first step. Then the next one is easier then we’re in a flow. Take the step!

  • This is exactly what I need to hear. I am stuck pining for someone who could not let go of his own past and lost love. I can’t change what happened and I can’t change the current reality by torturing myself with memories. All I am doing is preventing myself from loving my life right now and pushing away anyone who might actually be right for me.

    Thank you for this inspiring post.

  • Perfect article at the right time. I’m so much depressed with last two years of my software job and was very tense. I could not think of anyone who could show me some light in this dark phase. I was almost in tears so I thought of visiting this site and it has shown me light.I hope I will fight this situation inn life

  • Good advice. I would like to take this list and slap my sister with it till she gets it… LOL.

  • I am in a space of rebirth. Sober for over 1.5 years. My issue is frustration around not knowing what my passion is. Suggestions on how to find it would be MOST welcome. Thank you for your works. I love them all.

  • I’m the photographer who took the photo you used for this article and I would just like to thank you.

    The photo itself is of a person I found difficult to let go of after we broke up, but eventually I realized how harmful it was to hold on to something when feelings weren’t reciprocated. I certainly don’t regret being with that person, I think with each relationship we experience.. we grow and change.

    It is through the hard times in life, we become a stronger person and develop our true sense of character.

  • Everything you have written connects to what I feel and should feel. This site gives me a reason to feel okay everytime. Thank you guys for changing lives of so many people around.

  • My husband died 4 years ago; It so so hard to move on from that love. But I’m trying, and slowly taking small steps forward.

  • I agree with Preston……..EXACTLY what I needed to read today!!

    Thanks!

  • A wonderful compilation of pearls of wisdom! Amazing how the obvious is not always obvious, struck a chord with me and made me realize how I have been so chained to my pain from the past and has given me inspiration to finally try things in a different way :)

  • I sometimes hate myself for not being able to move on and let past be past. And even worst, for not learning from my history. But I’m still here trying.

  • I have been struggling the past year to get over a 6 year relationship that ended really badly, there hasn’t been a day that went past that I haven’t thought of her, but reading these words gives me hope that there is someone out there for me, but as you say all in good time, let life happen, start living for yourself the past is just a learning curve to a bright future, I keep saying this to myself but believing it is another story anyway your thoughts and words of wisdom will be with me every time I think of her

  • I have grown so much in the past 6 months. I have been moving in a positive direction but there are times when I feel anxious thinking of the life I left behind. Growing pains. This is the encouragement I needed to remind me why these changes were necessary. THANK YOU. You always know exactly what I need to hear. You have made my day, as usual.

  • What I took out of this article, wasn’t entirely related to romantic relationships, but also ties in with life decisions and being able to forgive yourself for past choices, learning what was required and moving on from that as well.

    I think somehow societal conditioning has us believing that the ’self abuse’ or toxic thoughts are a way in which we show our remorse for bad life decisions before we can actually move on to become a better person. A type of thinking that I personally rage against, everyday should be an opportunity to reinvent yourself in the path of good.

  • Thank you. Your comments are a direct message from God. Keep up the good work. Your site is helping me through an intense time and I am so grateful for the inspirational words and love.

  • Well worth a read, letting go can be just about letting go of holding onto pain. Not just letting go of a person or situation.

  • So important to remember that, “The powers above added one more day in your life today, not necessarily because you need it, but because the world still needs you to let your light shine.” I have loved and lost and I can turn it into a positve if I remember this each and everyday!!!!!

  • This was touching.

    I think somehow societal conditioning has us believing that the ’self abuse’ or toxic thoughts are a way in which we show our remorse for bad life decisions before we can actually move on to become a better person. A type of thinking that I personally rage against, everyday should be an opportunity to reinvent yourself in the path of good.

  • OH EM GEE, I love this!!!
    I have learned so much about moving on, letting go, your thoughts bring what you want whether you want it or not.
    I am in rut and have been for a while.
    I really needed to come across your site!! I love it all thanks so much.
    I am going to continue reading
    :-)
    thanks again :-)

  • This is the encouragement I needed to remind me why these changes were necessary. THANK YOU. What I took out of this article, wasn’t entirely related to romantic relationships, but also ties joshua in with life decisions and being able to forgive yourself for past choices, learning what was required and moving on from that as well.

  • Awesome, just what I needed. It’s definitely time to move on and on so many levels, loss of loved ones through death, loss of friendships through past mistakes and time to move on to become a better and stronger person.

  • That’s what i’m felling right now.. i need to move on ..thank you for the wonderful advice.. I Love your blog!!

  • #8 and #9…

    Those are my life… I’ve been “moving on” to backup plans my entire life. It would be nice to finally be able to give something 100%, and not have to move on due to financial reasons.

    It would be nice to finally be able to work on something I’m passionate about, but I’ve exhausted my list of alternate plans. I have no idea where to look anymore, and don’t have the money to do anything other than work and pay bills.

  • Couldn’t of come at a better time to read. This is exactly how I’ve been feeling for a long time. Thanks for the positive boost and pointing me in the right direction, which seems I was traveling on anyway. :-)

  • The book “The Power of Now” is an awesome read by Ekhart Tolle. I have it on audio so I can listen to it in the car. That’s where our kids live, in the now. You’re only place of power is in the now. :-)

  • Such a great blog. This post helped me finally make that tough decision to change careers. Sometimes you gotta know when to go! Thank you.

  • Yes, that’s right. We just feel the need to let go because the person didn’t see our worth anymore. We nee to let go of the broken promises and believe that someday, somewhere, someone is waiting for you.

  • It hurts the most when everyone moved on, changed & are already happy and you ask yourself why are you still stuck & still the same old you? I guess when we fully accept #2 (which I think is the most challenging by the way), then we can begin to create our new path. I lived in traumatic relationships & career for the past 7 years. Holding on to those things so tight was the only way of life I knew back then. And to live without them was frightening enough to make me stay stuck for another 5 years in my job & in my relationships. And when I couldn’t take it all anymore - I quit my job, searched for my passion, run away from my relationship & here I am. I won’t say it’s all ok now. The big void I feel now is the space. The space that will soon be filled with beautiful things I didn’t know exist before.

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