post written by: Marc Chernoff

12 Things You Should Know for Sure


12 Things You Should Know for Sure

Just a few things you should know.  Because when you know better, you do better.

  1. The beginning is always the hardest. – Remember, being completely terrible at something is the first step to being pretty darn good at it.  It just takes time and practice.  In the end, it is the courage to continue that matters most.  Read Getting Things Done.
  2. What’s right for you may be wrong for others, and vice versa. – It’s unreasonable to expect others to accept or consider your perspective if you’re not willing to do the same for them.  So think for yourself, and allow others the privilege of doing so too.  The truth is that the world isn’t really as it is, but as WE see it.  And we all see it differently.
  3. When you try to change people, they usually remain the same. – But when you don’t try to change people – when you allow them the space to be as they are – they gradually change in the most beautiful way.  Because what really changes is the way you see them.
  4. You have to decide for yourself. – Most of the time something is only awkward because of society’s preconceived idea that it is; don’t mindlessly follow that shallow perception of awkward.  Make up your own mind.  When it comes to choices and change, always do a gut check.  What do YOU want to do?  What would make YOU feel joy, passion, healthy, or on the right path?  Do that.  No other opinions are needed.
  5. Most good things don’t come easy. – Easy is to think about improving.  Difficult is to put these thoughts into action.  Easy is to stumble and fall.  Difficult is to get back up.  Easy is to judge the mistakes of others.  Difficult is to recognize your own mistakes.  Easy is to receive.  Difficult is to give.  Easy is to promise something.  Difficult is to fulfill that promise.  Easy is to say “I love you.”  Difficult is to show it every day.  As you can see, most of the things we need in life are simple, but not easy.  The difficult, however, is often an indication that it’s worthwhile.
  6. Love is a state of being. – It’s not how much you do, but how much love you put into everything you do that counts.  And love isn’t something that happens between people; it’s something you are either open to in the present, or something you are not.  It’s not a transaction; it’s a state of being.  Read The Mastery of Love.
  7. It’s not other people’s job to love you; it’s yours. – It’s important to be nice to others, but it’s even more important to be nice to yourself.  You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world.  So make sure you don’t start seeing yourself through the eyes of those who don’t value you.  Know your worth even if they don’t.
  8. Someone out there is capable of loving your flaws. – Let someone love you just the way you are – as flawed as you might be, as unattractive as you sometimes feel, and as unaccomplished as you think you are.  To believe that you must hide all the parts of you that are broken, out of fear that someone else is incapable of loving what is less than perfect, is to believe that sunlight is incapable of entering a broken window and illuminating a dark room.
  9. Friendship isn’t about being there when it’s convenient, it’s about being there when it’s not. – Even if you cannot seem to walk that mile in your friend’s shoes, you are still capable of standing beside them to be a supporter until the day they learn to smile again.
  10. Unfortunately, some small minds will try to hold you back. – It may be difficult, but don’t let the negative voices around you bring you down.  Don’t ever let anyone turn your sky into a ceiling.  Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions.  Small hearts and minds always do that.  The greatest hearts and minds make you feel that you, too, can become great.  Read Personal Development for Smart People.
  11. Seeking revenge is always wasteful. – The energy you would spend trying to get revenge can be better spent creating an amazing future for yourself.  Forget about them.  Remember you.  Working on a better you is more fulfilling than hanging on to contempt of others.  Let it all go and hold on to your growth and kindness instead.
  12. The most important thing you can control is your mind. – Your greatest need is to clean out the enormous mass of mental and emotional rubbish that clutters your mind.  You need to learn how to select your thoughts just the same way you select your clothes every day.  This is a power you can cultivate.  If you want to control things in your life, work on controlling your mind.  In most cases, that’s the only thing you should be trying to control.

Photo by: J.T. Noriega

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38 Comments

  • Great stuff. So true about controlling the mind. I love the idea of choosing our thoughts just like we would our clothes.

    “A man is but the product of his thoughts. What he thinks, he becomes.” - Gandhi

    Keep up the good work guys!
    Joe

  • You guys just keep the good stuff coming :) Great title picture and couldn’t have said #5 and #12 (my two favorites from this post) better myself - life is indeed too short to have a victim mentality due to difficult circumstances, etc. No matter how tough your current circumstances are, there’s always good stuff if you choose to see it and pursue it.

  • Thank you, I SO needed to read this! I’m right on the edge of discovering what it is that I’ll do with the rest of my life, but I’m not quite sure. I’m a newly-single mom of a 21-year-old, and I just got back into college and the work world after 20+ years. Oh and I lost 130 lbs and came out of a massive 10 year depression funk.

    The world is my oyster… I just have to find the pearl. And it’s articles like this that keep me centered and motivated as I journey forward.

  • Nice post. I specially loved the first point. Served me as a reminder to keep doing things i love, even if it doesn’t seem the way i want it at the moment.

  • I love reading your articles, they’re always exactly what I need to keep pushing myself to keep going and this was definitely something I needed to read!

    I’m constantly struggling with my parents’ lack of understanding and pushing for me to have the future THEY want for me instead of being supportive of what I want to do for myself and it always gets me down. This helps me to keep fighting for what I want for myself and what will make me happy, not what they want :)

  • Your site inspiring me everyday! Thank you very much :-)

  • This is really helpful stuff. They come so strong yet very true. Individuality is always the key, especially for 2, 4, 7, and 12.

    But the two that really made me smile are (8) someone out there is capable of loving your flaws and (9) friendship isn’t about being there when it’s convenient, it’s about being there when it’s not… because it really show that there is hope actually for us imperfect human being.

  • Wow…once again this hits home. Love, love, love you guys — keep them coming.

    You need to write a book!

  • Nice stuff, just what I needed. Thank you as always!

  • I was really moved by the “Friendship is not about being there when it is convenient, but being there when it’s not”.

    Just a big wow! :) Love it! Is your e-book out yet? I can’t wait to get a copy of it.

  • Just what I needed. I am grateful that I discovered your site and I am greatful that there are people like the two of you out there . Your posts have changed the way I see and handle so many things . One day at a time.

  • I would say the last one is the big one. Nearly everything can be resoled in regulating our mind.

  • These are all wonderful words. so thank you. But what do you do when things are so extremely difficult. my manager and coworkers are extremely unfriendly and welcoming. He is a sociopath and takes delight in cruelty. I have maintained my positivity at great lengths. Two years at my job and striving to get a head. I don’t have a single friend and because I work so hard for almost no money, I can never go out or join in social activities. I have great love in my heart but this seems like torture at times.
    What words do you have for this?

  • Priceless gems that can only be obtained by a bit of a experience, don’t you think? Love them all.. Bless your hearts for sharing.

  • We can’t change those that don’t want to change. The best we can do is to guide them by creating the change in ourselves and encouraging them to follow. So many times in the past I have tried to change others because I cared only to realize that it did not go anywhere, now I focus on becoming the embodiment of the positive change I would like others to enjoy. Point 3 is spot on!

  • I connect strongly with #1. For the longest time I never tried new things because I was never good at them, the sooner I realized it takes time to learn. Doesn’t matter what topic. The sooner I learned how to grow.

  • Definitely need to remember #’s… on second thought, basically, all of them, especially #’s 4 and 8. Only I have the job of loving myself <3. Thanks for this great post.

  • As always I thoroughly enjoyed reading this inspiring post :) .. Thanks guys.

  • Oh I love the last one, so perfect.

  • Very inspiring! Thank you for the moving words, great lessons for all.

  • Thank you for the positive posts, they give me encouragement every week.

  • Awesome stuff! Sometimes we need to be reminded that the beginning of something is always the toughest. I get inspired to write for my website whenever I visit your site.

  • Your posts always speak to me in a way that lifts my spirits. Thank you for that!

  • Always thought provoking, always gives me something to think about. Your words seep in and I return to them often so I get the whole meaning. I know all of this but your words resonate the truth that already exists!
    I’m not sure how you have become so wise but would love to have you at my “table of eight” inspiring people.
    I look forward to your next post. THANKS isn’t a big enough word.

  • Great post as always. So inspiring and truthful.

  • really inspiring.

  • I needed to read this, it comforted me. I’m grateful for your site.

  • Great post, I absolutely agree with #2. It’s one of the biggest reasons I find it hard to give anyone concrete advice.
    Just because it should work for me, doesn’t mean it will work for them. Whenever someone asks me for advice I always try to ask them questions and help them come to the decision they need to make themselves.
    I find they generally do better that way, because they come to a solution that’s going to work for them.

  • I love these posts. We all need a good dose of positive thinking. There is so much negative out there and it can be easy to lose perspective and keep a good attitude. I was sitting here ready to be in a bad mood, but after reading this I changed my mind. Thanks for the positive reminders.

  • Just what I needed today, so glad one of my readers directed me to your blog. Thanks for the inspiration.

  • These are great - all of these make you think - especially part about changing people, its amazing how many people think they can do that and they end up sad and broken that they couldn’t. Thanks.

  • It’s weird, but in a round about way, most of these are the basis for my daily struggles in life. Some more specific than others. I find that they are getting me nowhere and that only by adhering to the suggestions above will I be able to make progress. The part that is easily the most difficult is remaining consistent. Which after reading them all is a product of #12, “controlling your mind”. I am glad I found this. Simple, straight to the point and effective.

  • I really needed this today. Thank you so much, Marc and Angel.

  • I love this. It occurs to me that most of these are things we truly need to learn for ourselves, don’t you think? I nod and agree but on a couple I know deep in my spirit that I’m still working on them. I think reading a reminder helps, though. xox

  • I really enjoyed this post, number 4 especially. It’s so true: “You have to decide for yourself.” The gut check is so important to me when making decisions.

    It reminded me to of a quote I have hung up in my house: “To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.” ― Ralph Waldo Emerson

    Thanks for the great post!

  • So good :) Loved this post.

  • How do you do it? You guys are so on the money, every single time. Never a wasteful post or word. I’m printing this out so I can remember this every day. Thank you!

  • This list is so awesome I do not have words to describe it. It feels good to know some one out there thinks like I do and that gives me strength to keep on going. I wish some of my friends read this and understand I too have a way of leaving that I chose, make mistakes like every one else etc… But I can not send this myself because I will be considered a snob.

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