post written by: Marc Chernoff

9 Reasons You’re Stuck Where You Are


9 Reasons You’re Stuck Where You Are

Life is change; it is forever moving.  Staying stuck is a choice.

For it is a choice, not a chance, that determines your destiny.  The road may be long, but it’s wide open.  As Lao Tzu once said, “The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step.”  If you don’t like the way your life is at the moment, you have the choice to change it.  Actually, you owe it to yourself to change it.  But you can only shift your current situation one small step at a time.

In other words, to get through even the most difficult times and circumstances you need to take baby steps, and you must keep on stepping.

So if you feel stuck right now, it means you aren’t stepping.  And it’s probably because…

  1. You haven’t taken responsibility for your circumstances. – Too many people have a habit of blaming their circumstances or mistakes on bad fate or bad luck.  Too few will admit that their situation is a direct outcome of the choices they’ve made.  In life, this is the foundation you need to correct in order to grow.  You must accept your current situation, take responsibility for it, learn from it, make the necessary changes, and move forward.  Read The Road Less Traveled.
  2. You’ve given in to your fears. – If you’re doing big things and pushing for your dreams, you are bound to encounter situations that scare you and make you feel uncomfortable.  So what.  Move forward with gusto.  Remember that the extent to which we sometimes allow fear to rule our lives is truly startling and unnecessary.  Especially when you consider one very important fact about fear: It’s a total figment of your imagination.
  3. You continue to ignore your calling. – What you seek, whether you realize it or not, is the actual feeling of being ALIVE and LIVING your life your own way.  You don’t have to satisfy everyone else.  You just have to find something to believe in – something that anchors you and keeps you looking forward, regardless of what others are doing or saying.  For it is better to live your own destiny imperfectly than to live an imitation of somebody else’s life with perfection.
  4. You’ve become accustomed to negativity. – It’s not what you look at that matters, it’s what you see.  The biggest wall you must climb is the one you have built in your mind.  If you don’t control your attitude, then it will control you.  Negative feelings are like weeds; if you don’t fully extract their roots, they will keep coming back.  So take control of your destiny.  Believe in yourself.  Ignore those who try to discourage you.  Avoid negative people, places, things, and habits.  Don’t give up, and don’t give in to consuming the garbage these negative sources are trying to feed you.  Read The How of Happiness.
  5. You don’t appreciate what you have. – Pause for a moment.  Breathe in slowly and deeply.  Exhale.  Feel the miracle of your breath.  And say, “Thank you.”  You probably woke up with a few aches and pains this morning, but you woke up.  You’ve seen better days, but you’ve also seen worse.  You might not have everything you want right now, but you have everything you need to move forward.  Life isn’t perfect, but it sure is good.
  6. You keep worrying about a time that no longer exists. – You can’t have a better today if you’re still thinking and worrying about yesterday.  Whatever could have been or should have been, doesn’t matter.  This moment is here and now for you to live.  It’s okay to not have all the answers yet.  In fact, you’ll never have ALL the answers.  Just continue the journey, focus on the present, do you best, and trust the process.
  7. You keep looking for happiness outside yourself. – Enlightenment is not the accumulation of knowledge; it is the full realization of who you already are.  True wealth has nothing to do with material possessions; it is the surrender to an abundance that has no limit.  What you seek is not somewhere else at some other time; what you seek is here and now, within you.  The more you look for it outside yourself, the more it hides from you.  Relax, remember the source of your deepest desires, and allow yourself to know their fulfillment.
  8. You’re still looking for the easy road. – Someday you will look back on your life and realize that everything worthwhile you’ve ever accomplished initially challenged you.  And that is as it should be, because big challenges often prepare ordinary people for an extraordinary success.  Every struggle arises for a reason – for experience or a lesson.  A great journey is never easy, and no dose of adversity along the way is ever a waste of time if you learn and grow from it.  Read The Last Lecture.
  9. You need to let go and move on. – Sometimes being strong and moving on are the only choices you have.  There are some things in life that you may never completely get over.  The best you may be able to do is get through them slowly.  But that’s okay.  The struggle forward is worth the effort.  There’s still a lot of beauty left to be seen on the road ahead.

Photo by: Kevin Dooley

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35 Comments

  • Great post. Thank you for taking the time to post all these wonderful articles.

  • You guys always are right on the money. How do you do it? Thank you for sharing your relevant, simplified, universal wisdom with the world.

    Mucho appreciation!

  • I am working on letting go of a few of these stuck habits myself; it’s interesting because somebody who is naturally confident and powerful tends to have trouble with these things. And i’m finding as I let go of my negative emotions and experiences more I am more able to let go of these kinds of negative habits.

  • Excellent tips, I was a master in #9, thankfully I’m slowly overcoming it. You are right, letting go doesn’t mean giving up and certainly makes you stronger.

  • Great article! Once again, this is just what I needed. Keep inspiring.

  • This is exactly what I needed. Thank you so much! You guys really hit the exact spot where I need help, everytime I come here. Thank you! :)

  • #2 certainly struck a chord with me.

    I am about to embark on my ultimate challenge. And as the hour of truth draws nearer I can feel the fear. I am scared. It’s what you’d call “good scared”, but it is still fear. And I am constantly catching myself thinking of stuff I should do in preparation for that big step. An effort to postpone the inevitable. Procrastination in its purest form.

    So, I’ll keep in mind your advice to “move forward with gusto.”

    Thank you for this timely reminder.

  • Great reminder on being true to yourself. Sometimes we live our lives the way others think we should, or what others want or need us to be. By doing so, we lose who we are and have a difficult time finding our way back to our own core self. Always stay true to yourself and what you believe. Our own dreams and goals in life is what lights the fire within all of us.

  • Just wow. I let a lot of emails slide by, but this one stood out like a sore thumb, and was right on the money. Thanks.

  • Just another awesome post for someone working towards a goal. I love your blog so much, keeps me focused.

  • I can relate to numbers 4, 6, and 9. If I make one little mistake, whether it’s a big deal or not(forgetting to do something important, not listening well, etc.), I feel bad but in the end I tell myself, “You’ll get over it; you always do.”. Other than that, I haven’t let those habits gotten to me because I still have a good life and aspiring to have my own authentic happiness regardless of people’s opinions. Thank you for another great post.

  • Had to share with one with a few of my friends. Always love sharing your inspirational words.

  • Thank you for the reminder that “fear is a figment of my imagination.” I need to remember this and get on with life.

  • Great reminders today!

  • Great that I got to this at the most appropriate time. Thanks, it was really inspiring.

  • I would add that “you’re following someone else’s goals and dreams and not your own.” Translation: you could still be stuck in a career that your parents chose for you. Or you could be stuck because you don’t want to disappoint those closest to you. The best thing you can do is DO WHAT YOU WANT to do. If your parents, friends, bosses, etc. get upset, it’s their problem. Life’s too short. Live yours for you, and you’ll create something magical that could help the planet and millions of people.

  • Sometimes I feel like you guys are peeking in at my life and decide to write a piece just for me. This is one such post! Thank you for doing what you do.

  • This is my life right now. Fearful. As someone once said to me…You must take a step out of your comfort zone and trust your cape…
    I am ready :)

  • Your posts are just brilliant!!! Each and every tip in each blog resonates with me, thank you for this amazing gift you are sharing with the world!! :) I enjoy your bluntness, conciseness, and the little added humor/lightness…amazing formula and writing skills. THANK YOU so very deeply! :)

  • Good words of wisdom for a long journey forward…

  • Thank you! I have been struggling with a work situation and this is just hte reminder I needed to out things back into perspective!

  • The last point resonated for me. Sometimes you have no choice than just moving on. We should not give in to others plan but sometimes the others are our loved ones whom we can’t abandon… and we can just hope it gets better for us.

  • Each point is absolute truth. Especially point # 8. Following the easy road will lead you nowhere you’d want to be. Unfortunately, most people find themselves choosing the path of least resistence.

    It should be challenge that we seek. Challenge is the key to our growth. And for that we must follow the hard path.

    Cheers!

  • Wonderful post… learned many things from it. You make life so simple, but yet to implement it I find it difficult at times, but I’m working towards it.

  • Thanks for all you do! You both are truly an inspiration.

    Coach Tony

  • Hi Marc (and ANGEL ) this is my first comment, finally came out of the shadows and decided to compliment you on all the good things you do here.
    I looove the uplifting message, if someone were to ask me to describe your blog / website, my immediate response would be ” its the opposite of the nightly news, its the opposite of everything you see and hear from media outlets on a consistent basis.” I don’t watch the news, its meant to scare ! Don’t get me wrong, i keep up on current events, but not with talking heads, i read it, and move on, I have taken a lot of your advice, its silly, but i already know it, and its in my head, but you put it in black and white and its very concise ! And best of ALL…

    IT MAKES ME FEEL GOOD! Since reading my first post, i was hooked. And i have made some cool changes.. i have made my own website, i have mad two actually, lol jumped onto YouTube and posted my first video and started in a direction that i believe in and have dedicated myself to helping others, my new mantra is: “i believe it is my destiny to help others, while also helping myself ” i dint have any specific bullet point that i refer to here on my first comment, its all good !

    Marc, you have rubbed off on me in a great way !
    this quote came to me as i woke up one day and read one of your posts, i guess you could say you inspired it, thank you for bringing a positive message : )

    “We lose ourselves in the things we love ….
    and sometimes we find ourselves there too.”

    John Diaz

  • Thank you. You are gifted and blessed with being able to share the right words that, lift up, inspires, and motivate, for starters. I appreciate you for using your talent to help us all to become better people.

    Thank you much.

    K.Woods

  • Brilliant!

  • Great post yet again! I can relate to point number 2… but I am working on it and it helps to get reassurances through your posts also. :) Thank you.

  • Thank you so much for this wonderful post, especially #9. I will live with this belief for the rest of my life. True, it is the only choice in most cases - really opened my eyes.

  • I’m somewhat proud to say that I don’t suffer from those much any more, but it’s a shame to see so many people around me succumb to these things..

    If it were me I think I’d add a 10th: You let others set your limit by letting what they think directly influence you. I always get people saying I can’t do something, or I shouldn’t etc. But I guess the only success they’ll taste is a bite of mine (that is, if I let them taste it..)!

  • Your suggestions for getting unstuck are so fresh and interesting. I love the underlying message: look inside yourself and pursue your passions. Thanks for sharing!

  • Hi Marc and Angel,

    Keep the good thoughts coming as I read your message each day. Sometimes when I wake up to face the world many things can overwhelm me, but when I read your message, it seems to all come clear on what I need to do to start my day off right.

    Thanks for being my inspiration.

  • Nice. Great things to put into perspective. I’m going to have to share this!

  • Keep the good work,

    You know what l woke up this morning seriously confused and tired about my choice and destiny in life when l came across your articles.

    l’m really blessed and relieved.

    Many thanks.

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