post written by: Marc Chernoff

10 Things You Think About Too Often


10 Things You Think About Too Often

“The world as we have created it is a process of our thinking. It cannot be changed without changing our thinking.”
―Albert Einstein

You do know you talk to yourself in your mind all the time, right?

Pretty much every one of us has a non-stop stream of thoughts – a mental monologue – that has a powerful impact on how we feel, how we behave, and how we live our lives.  Too often, this mental monologue consists of unhelpful thoughts that hinder our happiness and effectiveness.

Which is why it’s time to stop thinking about…

1.  Who everyone else wants you to be.

You were born to be you, not who they tell you to be.  You are not here to be perfect; you are here to be true.  Be gentle and kind to your heart and soul.  Accept who you are, where you are, and where you came from.

Don’t make a decision based solely on popularity, or based on what others think is right for you.  Just because others are doing something doesn’t mean it’s the best choice for you.

Listen to your gut.  Now is the moment to follow your intuition and pursue what matters most to you.  Reach deep within yourself and awaken to the purpose that moves you and makes you feel alive.  The world is filled with opportunities to do an infinite number of things, so why not align your efforts with the activities that speak to your soul.

2.  What you don’t have.

Instead of thanking the heavens for two strong legs and a body that’s capable of running and jumping and dancing, lots of people complain about their weight and appearance.

Instead of appreciating that they live in a country that protects their basic human rights and civil liberties, lots of people complain about laws, taxes, and politicians.

Instead of being grateful for the roof they have over their heads, lots of people wish they had a larger house and a fancier car.

Don’t be one of these people.

To witness miracles unfold in your daily life, count your blessings and be thankful for what you DO have.  Lots of people aren’t so lucky.  Read The Happiness Project.

3.  What you fear.

As Franklin D. Roosevelt so profoundly said, “The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.”

That’s the honest truth.  The real thing that keeps you down is fear.  The reason your fears have so much power over you is simply because you give them this power by thinking about them – the worst-case scenario, what you don’t want to happen, etc.

It’s time to take a stand.  It’s time to clear your fears from your thoughts.  It’s time to acknowledge that your fear of grief is far worse than the grief you fear.

4.  Old mistakes.

Why regret?  This moment doesn’t have any mistakes in it yet.  It’s brand new.

You have a choice to make right here, right now.  You can hold onto old mistakes or you can make progress going forward with the new beginning you’ve just been given.

It’s time to be bold.  It’s time to stop reading the previous chapter of your life and start writing the one you’re currently living.  Learn from your old mistakes and march confidently on.  Sure you’ll make new mistakes along the way, but that’s the whole point – you want to learn from new mistakes, not rot alongside old ones.

Living means taking chances that are worth taking and making mistakes that are worth making.  Right now is simply a new chance to get it right, but you have to let go and take this chance.

5.  Old wounds.

You will grow much stronger and find peace once you stop picking at your old wounds.  Consciously replaying a painful memory over and over in your head is self-abuse.  Your past has given you the strength and awareness you have today.  Don’t let it haunt you.  Celebrate it.

Your wounds are your wisdom.  Let them heal.  Let them scar.

In order for this to occur, you must know why you felt the way you did, what you learned from it, and why you no longer need to feel that way.  It’s about accepting the past, letting it be, and pushing your spirit forward.

You may carry a small scar with you for the rest of your life.  Realize that this is perfectly OK.  A scar is the effect of healing – it’s what makes you whole again.  Read 1,000 Little Things Happy, Successful People Do Differently.

6.  Impressing the wrong people.

You could spend your entire life trying to impress everyone around you.  Of course, it wouldn’t get you very far.

Purposely impressing people is an act that brings nothing but a fleeting ego boost.  Be real instead.  Connect with fewer people on a level that is deeper and more profound.

If you want to impress someone, impress yourself by making progress on something you’re sincerely proud of.  It’s truly amazing what you can accomplish when you aren’t worried about what everyone around you thinks.

7.  Important dreams you aren’t actively pursuing.

The point here is simple:  STOP thinking and START doing.

The road of life is jam packed with dreams that aren’t going anywhere.  Why?  Because the people driving these dreams haven’t started their engines.  So many people endlessly put off until tomorrow what they could do today.  There are literally millions of promising, intelligent people in this world who have no plan at all, who wait for others to drive and steer their lives and their dreams for them.

Having a dream without an action plan is exactly like a beautiful sports car without an engine.  You know what she could do if she could do it, but she can’t.  Turn your dream into an actionable plan and then start executing your plan.  Make no promise for tomorrow when you have the opportunity to make progress today.

8.  The impossible looking aerial view of a big project.

An aerial view of a big project always looks daunting.  But once you break it down into small parts, suddenly it’s no longer a big, impossible project.  It’s simply a bunch of little, achievable ones.

The key is to subdivide a big project into smaller tasks and break each task down further into logical steps for each task.  Thinking about the big picture is important on occasion to keep track of your progress, but on a daily basis you should be focused only on the step you’re taking at the time.

The toughest part is laying out what you actually have to do to get each task done, but it’s worth the time and effort.  By thinking about it, and breaking it down, you’ve already accomplished the hardest part – you’ve built yourself a step-by-step instruction manual for getting the project completed.  Read Getting Things Done.

9.  Situations you have zero control over.

Some parts of your life are simply meant to be lived, not controlled.  No matter what happens, no matter the outcome, you’re going to be just fine.  Let the things you can’t control, happen.

Spend your thoughts and efforts on controlling what you do have power over, rather than wasting your peace of mind on the uncontrollable.

10.  Another time and place.

Sometimes we avoid experiencing exactly where we are because we have developed a belief, based on past experiences, that it is not where we should be or want to be.  But the truth is, where you are now is exactly where you need to be to get to where you want to go tomorrow.

The present moment is always filled with wonder.  Right now is a phenomenon.  Right now extraordinary things are happening.  If you are attentive, you will see them.

Your turn…

What’s something you often think about that you know hurts you more than it helps you?  Leave a comment below and let us know.

Photo by: Toni Blay

Download the ebook If you enjoyed this article, check out our new best-selling book.
Marc and Angel Subscription via Email And get inspiring life tips and quotes in your inbox (it's free)...

Enter your email address to get new articles delivered for free:



80 Comments

  • Your list pretty much hits it right on for most people. Impressing the wrong people is definitely my worst thought that runs through my head too often. It influences my actions and makes me wear a mask.

    I’m not sure why I set out to impress others when really, like you said, I should be impressing myself! I think I need to be like Maneesh Sethi and hire someone on CraigsList to slap me. Except I’ll have this person slap me whenever I have the thought to impress others. Then again, that would require a ton of honesty from my part in telling this person when the thought occurs.

  • Good list. I would also add: Thinking you know everything you need to know. I struggle with this sometimes and I try to catch myself. By all means we all should be willing to learn new things every day.

  • The thought that keeps haunting me: If he likes me or not… The waiting that stops my world…. The negative thoughts about ‘what if’ he doesn’t??? That makes me tear up sometimes. It’s an issue, but the good things is I am learning from this feeling. I know I need to be confident and stop… I will overcome it.

  • I completely agree with #7 - it’s something I think about too often without taking action. I need to stop thinking “I wish,” and start saying “I will,” and then actually go do something about it.

    Thank you for the reminder.

  • I find I often ask myself questions like: What is wrong with me? Why can’t I be loved? Why do I bring the same painful experiences into my life over and over again?

    I know better and yet I still fall into the same patterns.

  • Thank you from the bottom of my heart, Marc and Angel.

    My love life is non-existing because of number five, OLD WOUNDS.
    I feel like I can’t trust anyone. I anticipate that someone will disappoint me and they always do.

  • Thanks for ANOTHER great post. #10 Really hit home for me. I always play that game of waiting to be done with… this phase of my life, this degree, this year. Since reading the Power of Now and listening to Practicing The Power of Now (repeatedly) at least now I am more aware and am creating more self-awareness in all areas of my life. I have a card hanging in my home that says - you are exactly where you need to be - it serves as a great daily reminder!
    Thanks again.

  • Numbers 5, 7 & 9 hurt me…
    5. Old wounds referring to a dramatic event that happened with my son last year having a brain tumor, fluid on the brain, and a brain lesion.. He’s being monitored by Neurosurgery and Oncology but I still feel something is wrong.
    7. Dreams of things I want to do so badly, but use other things as excuses not to do them, even though I know it’ll improve alot in my life to get it all done now!!
    9. Trying to stop controling things I have no control over… Yeah I’m not sure I’ll ever get past this one. I wish I could.

  • This is one of the best posts on your site so far.
    All the reasons discussed here are 100% true for me, especially impressing the wrong person. However, I have managed to subtract this negative quality of mine with the constant motivation I have been getting through your posts. So thanks a lot. I’m becoming a more well-balanced (esp emotionally) person day-by-day and its all because of your motivation. :)

  • I struggle to please my mother. She is a very unhappy person and I try to help her but nothing I do seems to be the thing she needs. She wishes for things that can’t be or for things the way they were and I hurt inside because I can’t fix it for her. I have such guilt when I don’t continually do for her.

  • One of the things that I think about and tell myself is that the things going on in my life (the good things) are too big and wonderful for me. It’s a disbelief in my ability to have achieved what I have and doubts on my capacity to love and especially to be loved as I am. I recognize that this is the product of many times of worry and being let down sometimes and having very damaging internal and external messages periodically. We must change our thinking to appreciate the lives we have.

  • All of these points are so true. Dreaming without taking action has forever been an issue for me. I have always had a great imagination that has kept me so busy. I have finally learned to take a small step, one after another. I think that making a commitment to a course of action is most crucial because without that there is nothing. Thank you for this blog.

  • I think about the child I love who has turned away from me and my family. I want things to be as they once were, not perfect, but we were together. It’s tough…

  • Thank you for the post, as usual it’s right on the money.

    I keep thinking about how people that I thought were kind to me turn out to be leeches, and also how I never see they take advantage of me till it’s too late… I’m probably not very observant, but I need to work on it.

  • I always think about past rejections from family, but I am slowly putting this in the proper perspective. When these hurtful thoughts come I push them out. I know that wishing for a better outcome is out of my control, I can’t change other people.

  • Thank You, I needed to be reminded of all of everything here. I appreciate the posts that you put together for all of us.

  • I thoroughly enjoyed this article. Soul searching. Thank you.

  • I thank you so much from bottom of my heart. These ten points mentioned are wonderful reminders worth following.

  • I constantly obsess about my husband. He’s not good about showing his love either emotionally or physically and I miss it terribly. I’m constantly asking myself if this relationship is the right one for me. We’ve been married almost 17 years and I know he loves me, but I can’t stop wondering what it is that I’m doing wrong or what is it about me that that’s turning him off that he doesn’t feel the need to show me. Why do men stop trying after their married? I wish I could stop thinking about it, but it just won’t get out of my head!

  • Great reminders. I have to make the effort to stop overthinking and losing the moment. Practice is making this easier. I have learned to bring myself back to the moment when I slip into a thought pattern which ultimately will make me anxious. Worrying is such a drain and things worried about never seem to happen.

  • I waste time fretting over whether I am making the right decisions about college and work. I stay stuck because I don’t know what is possible for me, and what is a waste of time and money.

  • My biggest, biggest problem is wanting control…. probably fueled by anxiety. I’m always trying to make sure I’m on top of everything, and most of all trying to make things last and not change as much. In doing so I experience no enjoyment every day as I am constantly trying to check and plan. It’s a horrid way to live sometimes. Is this common???

  • I definitely project issues, worries, control onto my young men - my sons - ages 18 and 21. I can apply most of these posts to these issues, but I would love to see you create a list directed at that. . . parent/child relationships, coming-of-age, letting go. It’s tough!

  • Old wounds - I never saw replaying painful memories as self-abuse. Thank you for this insight

  • I find myself asking, “Is this all there is?”

  • Kerry Schuurmans
    April 1st, 2013 at 9:39 am

    You guys are amazing..
    Always so spot on!!!
    I thank you for your daily inspiration… :)

  • I constantly tell myself that I haven’t achieved enough. I suffer from a lot of negative self-talk which gets me down and makes me feel defeated. I then in turn become angry and frustrated with myself because I’m the one responsible for making myself feel this way.

    The main reason I feel this way is because of my financial situation. I have massive student loan debt and since having graduated college I went back to school to take pre-requisite courses to apply to grad school which has been an ongoing process over the years. Despite working in Manhattan at a prestigious research institution, I’m still struggling and I feel so discouraged and I blame myself and tell myself how I should be doing better and I wish I could simply do more. I wish I could spend more time doing the things I like to do without having to think about it which involves having more money. I feel I miss out on a lot (trips etc) with friends because I can’t afford to go and find it so frustrating. I’d like to host an evening at my apartment and make appetizers and dinner for friends but I’m struggling to support myself as it is and so I can’t.

    I try to make the best of what I have and I limit my spending as much as I can will still participating in dinners/evenings out. I just feel my whole life is controlled by money or the lack thereof. I will have about $150 between today and my next paycheck on the 15th. I have no savings. Just tons and tons of debt that I will never surmount especially pursuing a graduate education, but I refuse to settle for where I’m at. I just need to accept where I am in this moment and forget about the money, but it’s so hard to do that when it’s limiting your lifestyle.

  • Your list couldn’t be more right on! #1 is especially meaningful to me, and it’s been my goal in 2013 to stop living the life that (I think) everyone else expects me to live, and start focusing on living a life that’s fulfilling to me. It certainly requires a conscious effort on a daily basis, but it’s so worth it that I wonder why on earth I didn’t figure this out much sooner in life!

  • The thing that hurts me more than it helps me? Thinking that painful things that have happened before are going to happen again… I know that kind of thinking can end up turning into a self-fulfiling prophecy, but fear still always seems to send my thoughts in that direction…

    Since stumbling upon your site a few years ago, your ‘food for thought’ has helped me tremendously; just wanted to say thank you!

  • Thanks a lot Marc and Angel. I love your articles because i get inspired everytime i read them. One thing i kept thinking and wondering about is my failed relationship, i couldn’t understand why i loved him so much yet he couldnt notice and appreciate it. Anyway, your articles keep me stronger day by day and i don’t regret walking out of that relationship. Thumbs up!

  • Thank you for this.
    I am tired of living everyone’s version of what my life should be. My biggest downfall is that I worry about what others think far too often.
    I am beginning Amy’s life today. Woke up this morning believing it, now it’s time to start living it.

  • Trying to please everybody and meet everyone’s expectation is killing me. Now I am getting tired and fed up of not living for me. I have made choice and decisions based on what I thought would make me look good in people’s eyes, what people want to see and I am telling you, at the end of the day there is nothing that frustrates you like struggling to please people. I love this article, every point speaks of me. The thing is will I take actions now? God help me.

  • It hurts when I think about the times I had helped people with nothing in return. Have the feeling of being hopeless now and it hurts a lot because the people I helped in the past aren’t helping me. The abandon feeling is the worst feeling ever, and it’s hard to stop thinking about.

  • This is such a timely article…

    My biggest obstacle is my fear. I am so amazed at how I can talk myself out of things because I am scared. Another way to see it, is perhaps, a lack of faith in myself.

    Thank you for your gentle and inspiring reminder.

  • I find myself thinking about being constantly victimized. Where that comes from I have no idea. And, in years of therapy the issue was never uncovered. Guess it has been only in the last few years I have actually realized it and claimed it as areal problem in my life.

  • I like points #6 and #7. It’s true, that you may spend your life trying to impress the wrong people. Impress yourself first. You’ll receive more satisfaction of completing (fill in the blank) and impressing yourself than a bunch of people who may never recognize your talents. I also agree with, “Connect with fewer people on a level that is deeper and more profound.” You’ll be happier.

    It is important to have an action plan when you pursue your dreams. You may need to hire a coach or consultant to help you implement a plan of action. Or, you could speak to the people in your life who support you and your dreams and ask for their input.

    This is a great post for a Monday!

  • What I think about too much and it hurts me is… Well, my eating disorder makes me think about food too much and that affects my day, but I am working on it. I think about food and my body less now. Also, I regret not being able to do One Act this year, which is a group of people who enact a play together. We all need to let to of our regrets and move on to a greater future!

  • If, when you are an old elephant, shuffling off to the elephant graveyard, you have no scars, all you will then know for sure is that you didn’t live a full life.

  • Having strong feelings for someone who will never feel the same way…

  • Whenever I think of starting a project that I dream about, it hurts that a lack of funds turns me back. Actually, little fund can start off, but there is none at all. Marc and Angel, how can one realize his dream when the resources are not there to support him? How can one start a project or achieve a goal without little fund to kick-start it? How can one plan to achieve his dream without resources available to him? Your write-up is good, but please tell me more of the questions raised above.

  • Probably… how I can’t trust people to not hurt me? I don’t let anyone get too close, esp men so they don’t get the chance.

  • Fantastic article, loads of straight forward common sense advice. Unfortunately for me, where as I know when something is wrong for me and/or my family, I sometimes can’t get away from selfishness desires and wants. Reading & knowing is great but it’s the “doing” that matters and that’s where I really struggle, would love to have the strength to correct this. Thanks again for an excellent read.

  • # 2 … this one really jumped out at me … seems there are multiple instances in my life right now that are asking me to be confident in remembering that “you really have more than you need” and to switch my focus from feeling frightened about “not enough.” I need to focus my energy on appreciating that I have more than I need, and trust in this and allow it to permeate every moment of my life.

  • Thank you! My favourite part of the article “STOP thinking and START doing.” So relevant for me until recently, when I “woke up”, I started to focus much more on the doing. One thing that pushes me the most is to live in the present and to realise precious moments as well as the great things that I can still achieve. I always use a “mental gong” in my head to prevent myself from drifting off.

    What methods do others use, to stay in the moment?

  • So many wonderful insights and truths. I will be read this slowly over the course of many days to get it digested properly.

    Thanks!

  • Yet another great post!! For me it was procrastination, in that I used to get to a certain point and either slow down or stop moving towards a certain goal for fear of failure, although now I realize how I justified this self-defeating game was “I need to think more about it before I move forward”. (#7) - Stop thinking and start doing!!! I have made leaps and bounds over the past few years as I’ve been on a “personal growth” journey and have learned “I” am the only one who has complete control over my life. I can say without a doubt that I have and still continue to experience all of the points made in this article, the key is how I choose to deal with them and move forward…very freeing and rewarding. Thank you for the great post guys!!!

  • I want to let go the past, that one person that’s still in my head and I don’t know how to get rid of. I just want to be free from thinking of them and I’m still trying.

  • marilyn bonacorso
    April 1st, 2013 at 4:04 pm

    For me especially right now in my life it is fear; I need to be confident and go for it. I am just beginning a new career and I am scared, this was another wonderful article to help me get thru it. Thank you once again for such a wonderful and insightful article. It has came to me on just the right moment.

  • Inspired Reader
    April 1st, 2013 at 4:12 pm

    Marc,

    I honestly think this is one of the most fantastic articles you have posted on this website yet. The quote at the start from Albert Einstein is one that is so true, and the points that you go through in this article really reiterate the importance of thinking positively. Thank you once again for all these amazing and inspiring articles, I always look forward to reading them! :)

  • I think a lot about what I could do that my parents still don’t let me and that all my friends do… I keep thinking about that a lot, and if it’s right or not. Besides they trust and respect me, I feel I should have more freedom. Anyway, I have to wait…

    Thanks for your great posts, they have already inspired some oral presentations at school. :)

  • Very useful question you have posed, with many courageous contributors sharing their revelations.

    What hurts more than helps is believing my thoughts which make others wrong and, therefore, reinforce my stance of solitude and separation. Its lonely on this side of the fence, but safe.

    Observing my quick-to-judgments is a path to healing. Am I willing to simply notice and let it go? Or do I prefer to remain right but estranged? Often just asking myself these two questions help spring me out of the jailhouse so to speak.

  • @Dev: In my daily conversations and self-talk I’ve started replacing the word “if” with “when.” It’s a little trick that helps tremendously. Give it a try. =)

    @Josiah: When there is a will, there is a way. Connect with people who are already living a similar dream, pick their brain. How did they get where they are? Research and take baby steps. As long as you are moving forward – no matter how gradually – you have something to celebrate.

    @All: Sharing and acknowledging our negative thoughts and insecurities openly, as many of you have done here in the comments, is an effective tool for growth and healing. It opens our awareness to the changes we need to make, or the issues we simply need to accept and let go. That’s one of the primary reasons Angel and I ask you to share your thoughts with us.

    Your comments also provide a platform of reassurance to the rest of us who are dealing with similar issues. By leaving a comment and reading the comments of others, we realize the truth – that we are all in this together.

    Another healing aid Angel is a big advocate of is live discussions – confiding in a friend, parent, family member, or professional coach/therapist to get the negative thoughts out of your head and into the open air. Let yourself hear them out loud. Combat your negative thoughts with positive actions nurtured through positive relationships. Oftentimes the thoughts and insecurities we tell ourselves are made larger than life in our head, so the key is to get them out of there.

    When negativity controls our thoughts, it limits our behavior, actions, and opportunities. If you realized how powerful your thoughts were, you would never think another negative thought again. Easier said than done, I know. But it’s an ongoing commitment worth working on.

    Again, we’re here with a listening ear and appreciate your thoughts and feedback. Thank you for the continued support and for sharing your feelings and stories with the community here. =)

  • Thanks. I read your articles on regular basis. You are right, too often we live in the past and dream about the future and try to please our friends and family at all costs. It’s time to be more presents and focus more internally. Thanks for the positive light.

  • Oh Helen… when I read your post I thought yup that’s it for me too. I always think I am not worthy of living well or of being loved and I know that is so not the truth. I think for me it comes down to self-love and that is what I am working on. Loving myself and knowing that I am a good person who has so much to give to the world but letting go of the fear of rejection.

    Marc and Angel emails are my favorite to open they give me so much hope and reflection. Thank you!!

  • I tend to think a lot about the economy and my future. I have so little prepared for myself because I never dreamed I would get this old. In May I will be 60. With no savings or preparations and the economy in the dump plus having diabetes and other health complications, I not only “worry” but I fear what will become of my life, my home, my pets and everything else revolving around my income. I am currently the only one working in my household. The pressure is great to perform every night on the graveyard shift and perform without error. To lose my job means I lose the health care and also the income that keeps my home, “my home.”
    The fear that I feel would be best called terror.

  • Much more formative, as you point out, Marc, to “count your blessings” than to harp on what’s missing. Beautiful writing.

  • I absolutely love, appreciate & agree with everything mentioned here. I find myself still somewhat struggling with #5 & #9, though, and I have to make a concerted effort to work on those things. For me, I think #5 & #9 are closely tied together. I have difficulty letting go of past wounds, either done inadvertently or purposely to me; I regretfully tend to bring up past hurts and/or injustices. I guess I’m just looking or hoping for apologies that will likely never happen, but mostly, just for my feelings to be validated and acknowledged. Also, I tend to stress over things that are out of my control; that I wish for, but don’t have any control over. And I’m definitely not the type to want to control people or others; it’s more about the outcome of certain situations. These things are a constant work in progress, and I’m working on them.

    As for all the rest… I have a pretty good grip on and know in my heart I’ve pretty much finally mastered, through age, wisdom, trials, tribulations, heartache, etc. And for all of the hard times, I greatly appreciate all the good things in life; big & small. In fact, I may be one of the rare, but I tend to look at & appreciate everything around me as though I’m seeing it for the first time… like looking at and admiring things through the eyes of a child. And to live in the moment, the here and now. And to generously give praise to those around me. After all, the human spirit thrives on praise and recognition. And when you genuinely give praise, it actually makes you feel good inside, too. It’s a win-win situation.

    None would believe all the hardships & heartache I’ve been through, and I’ve been through a lot…and for me to somehow dig deep and still find an amazing appreciation for life & people. I’m grateful for overcoming so much, and even in the midst of chaos, still finding the ability to be appreciative for all the good things in life. “This too shall pass,” I tell myself. And it always does.

    Thank you, Marc & Angel for your outstanding reads and for reminding me that life really is good.

  • #8 hit home for me. Every project always looks daunting till I start working on it. There is one project I have been dreading for a while now, but after reading #8 I started breaking it down and all of a sudden its looking doable, thank you.

  • Old wounds! Your first love can really eff you up. Sometimes I forget that I’m okay. I’m beautiful on my own, just need to keep reminding myself of that! :)

  • Very inspiring - “STOP thinking START doing.” I needed to read that. Thanks so much.

  • I am plagued with the thoughts and regrets of choices I have made in the past. Leaving someone who loved me deeply only to turn to someone who are incapable of giving love freely. Scars are on both sides… cautious behavior inhibits what could become a really happy relationship. Reading the entries here have given me the impetus to try and move away from this person.

  • The things that hurt more than help me? Where do I begin? My list is too long. #1, though, is being involved romantically/emotionally/physically with someone I shouldn’t be for 10 years. I let him control me, manipulate me, hurt me. He’s caused me the deepest hurt in my life and I cannot leave him. And now he has cancer. I lack self confidence & the strength to do what I know is right. After being out if work for nearly 3 years, I fear I have nothing to offer any potential employer. I am a long term diabetic, have many medical issues (and no medical insurance). Who would want to hire me? My memory is shot and I haven’t seized every day as I should have. I’ve given up and can’t stop thinking how much I dislike myself for not doing for myself what I need to do to move forward.

  • Mechanical thoughts are cruel but needed. When we play those movies in our mind we are not being our true selves. Original thought is the most difficult thought process we are challenged to produce.

  • legend chambers
    April 4th, 2013 at 12:34 pm

    another awesome piece. such a vivid reminder of the many salient ways we are our own chief obstacle to fulfilling our own potential. the reminder on the value of the moment, this moment, that holds loads of promise, was apt.

  • I worry about and can’t stop thinking about people who left me with no reason or explanation. Its hurts me more to think about how much I cared for them and I have no reason why they left.

  • The only thing that sets me back in life: Fear. In various forms like anxiety, worry, stress etc etc. It raises questions in my mind. Some present term ones:
    Where will I be going for college, does he like me/Is this love coz it’s different.
    Some long term ones:
    Will I get to be what I dream to be in life, will I find true love, what’ll I do after my loved ones aren’t with me.
    I decide not to be afraid whatever happens. Life’s meant to be lived. And if we do our work sincerely we’ll surely reap the rewards. Stay happy <3 (:

  • I feel, most of us do not live our life on the present moment. Not in the now. Though physically we are in the present, in our thoughts we are either in the past or in the future.

    Another place, another time. So well said!

  • I tend to dwell on past mistake or ones I believe I have will make, which is why I tend to stay a bit subdued when I first meet people.

  • Guess the ego sometimes can make you wanna prove something not needed to prove.

    Calm focus and keeping up with personal development can make you wiser.

  • I just found your blog in LinkedIn and find your writing to be amazing and truly inspirational. I love reading your posts and can’t wait to read more.

  • Your blog post really hit on every important aspect of being healthy and happy, it really comes down to exactly this. I’ll be following your future blog posts, they are really well written and informative. Keep up the great work and happy blogging :)

  • I LOVE all your blogs! They are so awesome and motivating.

    I do wish you had a print option though. I keep a quote book that I write or store special sayings and articles in. I enjoy refering back to them as a helpful reminder and would love to add yours!

    Just a thought! Keep up the good work!

  • Well, I think I try to make all people happy and as a result of it I impress none.

  • I tend to wallow in grief about having to cut off my 18 year old son for his abusive attitude and treatment of me. He has Asperger’s Syndrome and lives with his father, whom I recently divorced due to years of emotional manipulation. Both relationships were codependent. I made the necessary choice to leave, but I still feel guilt about leaving my son mainly because I know both family (son and ex included) and former friends believe I abandoned him.

  • @Lucia: It is impossible to make all people happy. Just make happy who you can. Don’t worry about the rest.

  • I think too much about a love that is not possible, leaving no space for another one to be in my life.

  • For me I think too much on what people think of me. I don’t know why their opinions seem to matter to me a lot. I know it’s not good but I don’t know how to convince myself. Recently the over thinking thoughts got really worse that I feel helpless. I have a best friend who’s really really important to me but recently I’m worried that our friendship isnt special enough and I would get replaced even though I know we’re close. (we are both in the same group of best friends that is made up of 5 people) I hate to have that happen because she’s really really very important and I would want this friendship to last forever. I know I need to give her space for her to have other friends too and I know I can’t be too focus on her till I kind of hurt my other best friends too but I can’t convince myself to not feel insecure.

  • Thinking about all the things I need to do to achieve what I want causes anxiety and stress. I don’t have the motivation to just do it. Instead, I’m easily distracted and all the work piles up.

  • This post speaks volumes to me ! Especially point 9 . There are areas of my life that are not going so well for me and I sincerely believe I am getting depressed over it . For 3 years now I have been trying to control those areas of my life thinking if I did things differently, but reading your post today I realize it is not within my power and that indeed some part of life is just meant to be lived and not controlled. I will print this post and keep it in my bag when the going gets tough perhaps a glance at it will give me the strength I need.

  • “…your fear of grief is far worse than the grief you fear.”

    This part really spoke to me. Thanks so much!

Leave a Reply