post written by: Angel Chernoff

11 Habits You Need to Give Up to Be Happy


11 Habits You Need To Give-Up to Be Happy

by Lisa H.

Are your habits and routines sucking up your happiness?

Oftentimes we unknowingly hold on to little, obsessive habits that cause us a great deal of stress and unhappiness.  Even when we feel that something is wrong, we fail to seek the changes we need to make and instead cling to what’s not working, simply because it’s what we’re accustomed to.

It’s time to make a change.  It’s time to give up the habits that no longer serve your well-being and embrace the positive changes you need to be happy.

Today is the perfect day to give up…

1.  Worrying about… everything.

Worry is the biggest happiness slayer ever.  Worry steals all of your attention and gives the illusion that you are working through a problem when you are not.  As Van Wilder said, “Worrying is like a rocking chair. It gives you something to do, but it doesn’t get you anywhere.”

People worry for all sorts of reasons: to escape reality, fear of the unknown, resistance to change, lack of confidence, etc.

Stopping worry, like everything else takes practice; the more you do it, the better you will become at discerning when you are no longer controlling your thoughts and they are controlling you.

Tip:  To jolt yourself out of worry, ask yourself what you can do “right now” to make your life more pleasant and then do that!

2.  Constant, deliberate, people-pleasing.

Contrary to what you may think, saying “yes” to every request that is made of you is not nice.  First, it is not nice to you because it can leave you emotionally, mentally and physically drained.  And second, it is not nice to the other person, because it deceives them into thinking that you have the time, energy and other resources available to make what they want happen, when you do not.

Generally people who carry out the duties of others at the expense of themselves have low self-esteem and high levels of unhappiness.  They need the approval of others to make themselves feel worthy.

Tip:  To combat people-pleasing behavior, learn to say “no.”  Oftentimes when you say “no” to someone else, you are really saying “yes” to YOU.

3.  Procrastinating.

Procrastination is stagnation.  There is no other way to say it.  When you procrastinate, nothing good in your life is happening.

We procrastinate for all sorts of reasons.  When we are afraid of the outcome, we are unsure how to complete the task and when we just don’t feel like taking action.

And the thing is, we spend more time aggravating ourselves with worry about how long or how difficult the task is going to be rather than just doing it.  More often than not, if you just start your task, you will be pleasantly surprised at how easily you are able to accomplish it.

Tip:  When you feel yourself getting ready to procrastinate, silently say “stop” to yourself, refocus and begin again by taking calculated action that will lead to the results you desire.  (Read Getting Things Done.)

4.  Living in the past.

The past is gone for good and yet we spend so much time thinking about what happened yesterday, at the complete expense of today.  Keeping your thoughts stuck in the past is especially detrimental to your contentment.  You are a product of your environment.  Your environment has helped to shape how you think and feel about yourself.  Everyone has been presented with life challenges along their journey – you aren’t alone.  It is whether you are stuck in the patterns of the past or have moved past them.

Tip:  If you are harboring resentment, anger, frustration or other negative feelings from your past, don’t ignore these feelings.  Do something constructive about it so that you can move into the present.

5.  Always looking past the present moment in anticipation of the next.

We spend so much time in this moment, wanting to be in the next one, that we are missing our lives.

For example, while taking a shower, you might be thinking about that cup of coffee you want to make, and while you are drinking your coffee, you might be thinking about your commute to work.  You are never consciously present right where you are and therefore cannot enjoy the moment you are in – the moment we call “life.”

Tip:  Now is the only time you have.  Now is life.  Make sure you are fully experiencing it.

6.  Judging others.

When you judge someone else, you suffer.  It is an outward display of inward inferiority and anger.  No one person is better than another.  The individual who cleans the bathroom at a fast food restaurant is no less of a person than the CEO that uses it.

Tip:  Understand that we are all part of the collective human race.  We are one.  Your joy is my joy and your suffering is my suffering.  (Read Buddha’s Brain.)

7.  Comparing your story to everyone else’s.

It is good to notice what others are doing from time to time.  After all, that is what helps us outline what we want and don’t want in our own lives.  But comparing yourself to everyone else every step of the way takes it too far.  You know when this happens – when you stop living your dreams or start living theirs.

Tip:  You are unique.  No matter how hard you try to be like someone else, you will never be them, and you shouldn’t want to be.

8.  Shame.

Shame is a deep, debilitating emotion, with complex roots.  Its cousins are guilt, humiliation, demoralization, degradation and remorse.  After experiencing a traumatic event, whether recent or in the distant past, shame can haunt victims in a powerful and often unrecognized manner.

Shame impairs the healing and recovery process causing victims of trauma to stay frozen, unable to forgive themselves for being in the wrong place at the wrong time.  Shame leaves victims with feelings of sadness and pain at the core of their being.  They are unable to feel the fullness of joy in their lives.

If you feel any shame at all, acknowledge it upfront.  Decide to experiment on forgiving yourself and letting go of the shame.  How long can you go without reminding yourself about the shameful thoughts and feelings?  How would life be different or better if you were able to forgive yourself?  Who can you talk to about this?

Tip:  The more you forgive yourself, the more time you have to focus your mind on happier times.

9.  Disorganization and laziness.

We complain that there are not enough hours in a day to accomplish all that we want, yet our laziness often leads us to many wasteful hours of disorganization.  The discipline it takes to sort through a messy desk, counter, closet or mind take time.  Becoming organized is a habit.  Start with something small, like your office desk or even making your bed after you get up.

Tip:  Studies have shown that people who make their beds are statistically more productive, profitable and peaceful in their lives and careers.  Interesting, isn’t it?  But not surprising.

10.  Fear of… everything.

Fear is one of the biggest reasons why we don’t move ahead in our lives.  Fear of failing and fear of succeeding.  Fear of the unknown.  Fear of fear.  As long as we are alive, we are prone to some level of fear.  Ironically, to feel alive we must overcome that fear with action.  As Bill Cosby once said, “Decide that you want it more than you are afraid of it.”

Tip:  Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgment that your happiness and growth is more important than it.  Do something every day that stretches your comfort zone and helps you face what your fear.  (Read Daring Greatly.)

11.  The need to be busy.

Busyness is often confused with productivity.  They are two different things.  Busy is running in place on a treadmill; productivity is actually getting somewhere worthwhile.  These days technology gives us this constant feeling that there is so much to do and not enough time to do it.  We are always connected to something that wants our attention, or something that could be done.  This feeling creates stress.  The more behind you think you are, the more stressed out you are going to feel.

Stress is not good for you.  It makes it difficult to think, connect with others and it is associated with a plethora of physical ailments that lead to unhappiness.

Tip:  Stop trying to be busy.  Put first things first and give up the rest.  Organization, meditation, improved time management and efficiency and a change in perception are all ways to manage stress.  You must learn to let go.  Release the excess.  You were never able to do it all anyway.

Your turn…

What would you add to the list?  What’s one obsessive habit or routine that has been making you unhappy?  What can be done about it?  Share your thoughts by leaving a comment below.

Author Bio:  Lisa H. is a mother, entrepreneur, self-proclaimed introvert and practitioner of all things happy.  With her blog, Getting to Zen, she aims to inspire you to re-awaken your spirit, live fearlessly and do what you love.

Photo by: Alex Proimos

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90 Comments

  • Living in the past and worrying about the future is a ticket to be unhappy. The passport to world of happiness lies in this moment. That is why it is The present moment only can give us the gift of happiness.

    #4 & #5 actually nail it. Thanks for sharing.

  • Good tips. Thanks.

    Do you have a link to the study about the bed-making? I’d love to read it.

  • I would add to the list “Needing to be right.”

    Letting go of that can change your life!

  • I would add “resisting what is” to the list. I spent a lot of time doing this, and find things much easier since I stopped.

  • I love number 5. Sometimes I feel like I spend way to much time thinking about what I want to do or say later, that I miss out on what’s happening NOW.

    Also, this is my first post, so I want to say, man… I love this website. Thanks!

  • Hi Braja,

    Thank you for stopping by. Absolutely! Living in the past is a sure path to unhappiness. The past has already happened and there’s nothing we can do to change it; however, we can change how we look at it. 4 & 5 are my favorites too. Both of them cause us to miss the present moment.

    Again, thanks for stopping by.

  • @ Rebecca:

    There are many articles/studies correlating bed making with happiness. Here is one of them: psychologytoday.com/blog/brain-candy/201208/make-your-bed-change-your-life

    You are so right! Needing to be right should be added to the list. It’s funny that I missed that one, because it’s one of the habits I am working on letting go of. Life is so much better when you focus on being happy instead of being right.

  • @ Matt: Absolutely! That’s a big one for me. Living in a constant space of wanting things to be other than they are is torturous. I’m curious, how were you able to stop? Have you stopped it completely or do you have impulses to resist now and then?

  • Amazing! Love this blog. This is exactly what I am going through and I can relate to this. I think a lot of people can relate to these points and I am glad to see that we can make necessary changes. Thank you for the positive words. Keep it going!

  • Yes I agree with Rebecca. Also, the attitude of being a perfectionist or at least trying to become into one. I might also add that the need to search for happiness when it is all around you is utterly distracting as well.

  • Great post! And, I love the comments from Rebecca and Matt as well…

  • ambrish biradar
    July 3rd, 2013 at 6:11 am

    Thanks for the tips. I was in much need of these. Here’s to hoping they help me let to of the past…

  • #2 and #4. I want to stop, but I’m not sure how to stop the behaviors that were ingrained in me since I was a child.

  • You definitely get a lot of information on how to live a happy and contented life, but one thing that is explained precisely in a few of these points is that you need to be POSITIVE in your approach. Positive thinking is among the main channels to happiness.

  • Very useful combination of ideas you have here…

  • One of my favorite Mark Twain quotes is “I’ve lived through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened.” Worrying leads to more worrying. It’s not worth it.

    I would add, “Stop trying to be someone your not just to get others to like you.”

    Embrace who YOU are, quirks and all. There’s no one else like you on the planet. The stress in your life would melt away if you stopped the charade. Just be you.

    Finally, I have a tendency to think about and be in the future. I bring myself back to the present moment by naming things that are in front of me i.e., laptop, cat, dog, tree, picture, desk, book, flowers, etc. This usually snaps me back to the present.

    If you’re always in the future, try the above technique. Remember… you create your future based on your present.

  • To add to the tip about courage: I once had an appointment book that had a quote on the top of every page. This was years ago, so I don’t remember the author or have the ability to state it verbatim but it went something like this: “Courage is the art of not letting anyone else know your scared to death.” I always remembered this and thought it brilliant.

  • Forgetting to breathe.

  • Great post and tips; I intend to stop 1, 2, and 6. I also much appreciate the consistent efforts of Marc and Angel. I really learn lots of positive things from their tips. Thank you.

  • Several of your habits here, and the comments of Matt and Rebecca, are descriptions of Codependency. We are a codependent Nation. If you or a loved one exhibits any of these traits, you might see some daylight by reading a book on the subject. Peace to you!

  • I think being caring for everyone and neglecting yourself can also affect your health. In this way your mind remains occupied all the time either, constantly worrying.

  • Ask, ask, ask .. and you’ll become in charge of your mind focus. Ask better and empowering questions towards happiness. That’s so easy to say :) What I noticed is, I needed lots of self conditioning to rechange my first questions.

    And still I often find myself in procrastination zone… or being to lazy zone ;)
    I ask you (especially if you are a blogger)… are you interested in JV, working together, creating more discipline?

  • I am a project manager and one of the greatest things I ever read about project success was that a person’s initial attitude on the potential success of the project determined the actual success of the project. So what you bring in at the start seems to determine the finish.

    My new project is the toughest I have ever faced. But I am choosing to approach everything from a positive perspective (even though I am scared), not procrastinate or get derailed by doing someone else’s job (people pleasing), and execute against the plan we create (organization).

  • My most recent cause of procrastination, anxiety, and fear has been expressing my romantic feelings for a person who recently became a really close friend of mine. I tried to tell him how I felt in person but I failed and I just needed it to get out there in the world and out of me. So, I wrote it down and handed him a note with my feelings in it and walked out of there before he read it. I’m going to be spending the next 5 days on vacation with him and his family and who knows what will happen, but I guess we will find out. I love him and it came out of no where and now its out there. wow! All your posts have helped me to take a step closer to him and realize how I feel about him and be vulnerable enough to tell him about it. In the end I decided that I wanted it more than I was afraid of it. Thank you.

  • #4 nails it! I took control and let it go…now it’s up to others in my world to do the same.

  • I’ve been struggling mightily with worrying lately, so #1 really hit home. Thanks.

  • I definitely worry about the future. As much as I try to live for the moment I tend to want to know what is going to happen today, tonight, tomorrow, and the next day….. Even the next year what it will bring.

    I need to make a conscious effort to enjoy the moment for what it is and accept that GOD is in control not myself.

  • The need to be right. Giving this up has made a huge different in my life.

  • Thanks. I would say my most limiting habit would be not being as organized as I could be. I am really working at being more organised. I find that it frees up more time for me!

  • @ Eric: Congratulations on your first post! Glad you didn’t let the moment pass you by. :-) I too am guilty of #5. You are right, thinking is good, but too much thinking can lead to missing out on the present moment.

    Your comment reminds me of a quote I like by Sheryl Sandburg of “Done is better than perfect.” :-)

    Thanks again for stopping by and leaving a comment.

  • @Sash: You are so right. As a recovering perfectionist, I can honestly tell you, it is no fun. Now I live by these fine words by Sheryl Sandberg “done is better than perfect.”

    I also like what you said about searching for happiness when it is all around you being utterly distracting. That’s so true; especially, since it comes from within. :-)

  • @ Todd: Thanks for stopping by and for sharing. Yeah, those are huge ones for me. They are definitely habits to let go of.

  • @ Ambrish: You’re welcome. I’m so glad they resonated with you. Here’s to letting go of the past. :-)

  • @Julie: Thanks for sharing. We all have things in our past that are no longer serving our present. The key is to recognize what they are (which it looks like you’ve done) and then release them through a shift in perspective and practice. For example, if you are a people-pleaser… instead of looking at it as you are saying “no” to someone else, look at it like you are saying “yes” to you. The more you do it, the easier it will be to do.

    At first, you may be consumed with guilt, but keep affirming yourself that you did what was right for you. Eventually, the guilt will subside.

  • What a great list of reminders to help us be happy for this morning!

    I know I can work on #5. It’s tempting to constantly look forward to what’s happen (especially when we know something good is coming soon). But if we do that, then we miss out on the good that’s happening right now.

    If all we do is anticipate the future, then we’ll be like the donkey who is always chasing after the carrot dangling from the stick. We’ll always be chasing, but we’ll never quite get there. That can’t be a recipe for happiness.

    I would also add complaining to the list. The world is wonderful place if we would just stop and appreciate it.

  • I’ll take #2, #8, and #10, a bag of chips, and a sweet tea. My thanks to the insightful author.

  • Rebecca and Matt - Both of the items you added are HUGE for me! Really want to learn to live without both of those habits!!

  • Hello Marc and Angel and readers; )

    Worrying about everything….that’s me”!! Any tips to reverse such thoughts, or mind exercises i can do???? I got out of a 5year marriage and worry all the time about wht the future holds, I so fear of being alone, even though I’m in my 20’s… It takes so much energy out of me…any advice to change this crazy thinking????????

  • @Gary: I couldn’t agree with you more. Without the right attitude, you won’t be happy. It’s as simple as that.:

    Thanks for stopping by.

  • @Michael: Thanks! I appreciate the kind words. Glad the article resonated with you.

  • I just came back from a silent meditation retreat. It was my first. If you’re struggling to live in the present, meditation is a really wonderful way to train your mind.

  • Great post, I really love that we can take action with your TIP section in each habit! Thank you.

  • Hello Lisa, #8 seems to me to be describing an incident. I would like to add that there is also shame in being subjected to long term victimization, and not knowing how to understand that escape is not disloyal. This is a tricky problem, one that for me, created as an outgrowth some of the other habits above. There is a certain love one can develop even for a perpetrator when they seem to own you, and you are grateful even for small favors. You compartmentalize the shame and that makes it bearable, so you can stay within the system. It is very difficult to “get it” that I am perpetuating the system by overlooking my shame.

    I learned to forgive myself for leaving so late even though I could have left a thousand lifetimes ago. I had to forgive myself for having stayed all that long because others are in the picture too, and it is not only about an individual but a collective whole that I’d leave when I went on, and some of the people left behind are dear. This is true for captivity, sad/bad marriage situations, schooling that I needed but was subjected to bad conditions as I plowed through…….. Sometimes we feel ashamed for having allowed ourselves to be mistreated but there are many other factors that can make a person choose to hang in there and so to speak - let it happen again. There are hierarchies. Shame is a perspective, I think. It is not about losing honor, it is about knowing that others don’t have better tools. True, I ended up leaving, but it is a mixed bag. I did not leave so long as my mother was alive because I would not leave her alone. And I would not leave my children either, until they were adult and had lives of their own.

    Thank you for this great post, and thank you Marc and Angel for the breadth of valuable topics that you present.

    PS If you find this inappropriate content please feel free not to print it. This is your blog, it is beautiful and precious and I don’t want to sully it. I was just sharing my thoughts.

  • I would add- you don’t always have to react. Choosing silence in the moment actually gives you back control and more often than not allows for a solution to appear.

  • I have recently discovered that, albeit necessary, my care-giving for my mother with Alzheimer’s, my 2 teenage children, my husband, my job and my volunteer work has evolved into an excuse to be “too busy” to take care of myself…physically, emotionally and professionally… what a revelation, that I’m doing (or not doing) this to myself all in the name of taking care of everyone!

  • Overspending! That is one habit that has gotten me nothing but pain every time I do it.

    And it has nothing to do with how much money you make. You have to spend less than you earn, but easier said than done! At least for me.

    One way to deal with it is to realize that what you “want” is not necessarily what you “need”. We have to remember that society promotes overconsumption! Everywhere you look you are reminded of this, how you need the next “so-and-so” in order to have a better life.

  • Blaming and playing “even steven” in relationships! Both are tickets to unhappiness!

  • I love this website so much!!!!! Wow I just happened to stumble on this website one night while in a major depression. I thank my creator for your living wisdom 2, 4, 5 & 7 are major and real for me. Thank you I’m fight hares to continue to work and improve on myself.

  • Thanks to my wife Sally for sharing this site with me! I have a “Day Timer” and it helps me to focus on the next 15 minutes, which get’s me closer to the state of being. My goal is to live every minute like it’s my last! We have a choice to be happy. If you don’t like what your thinking about, change the chanel! Fall in love with your dreams and they will come true! Compation and forgiveness are the keys to success! Be fearless!

  • For me it’s 2 things: People pleasing and being honest. I came to the realization while in my 30’s that no matter how hard I try or how “nice” I might be, not everyone is going to like me. It’s something I started telling my kids once they reached that age where they worried about “fitting in”. I have also found that I am much happier when I am honest with myself and others. This includes what I can afford, have time for, and things I enjoy doing. I guess this just kid of goes along with putting yourself first sometimes.

  • @ Amandah: I love that quote. In fact, I recently used it on my blog in an article about my journey through OCD. Worrying is definitely not worth it!

    Absolutely! You should always be yourself. Whether others like you is up to them. It reminds me of one of my favorite quotes by Oscar Wilde “Be yourself because everyone else is taken.” Thanks for sharing.

  • @Amanda: Thanks for the tip on courage. I like it. I also like “leap and the net will appear” ~unknown and “decide that you want it more than you’re afraid of it” by Bill Cosby. Isn’t it great how a simple quote can have such huge impact.

  • @Shefali: I like that one! Reaction can cause us to endure unwanted consequences. Taking a moment of silence and objectively looking at the situation, gives us the space to choose our response.

  • Shame is a huge one for me. Since this guy, let’s call him johnny, stopped calling and texting me in addition to never asking me to hang out with him (and never will) I feel so much embarrassment for putting my heart and trust in him. I feel like a fool but time heals all wounds and life goes on. Lovely piece!

  • @Kate: Love that! Great you realized that in your 30’s. The sooner the better. I also had to learn that no matter how nice you are, not everyone is going to like you. This lesson really hit home in 2010 while I was dealing with a difficult person.

    I love what you said about being honest! It is so important we are honest with ourselves not only about who we are, but who others are. As Maya Angelou says “when people show you who they are, believe them the first time.” It is also important we are honest with those in our most intimate circle. Honesty is self caring. It is light and love and when practiced, brings even more light and love. :-)

  • @David Gardner: Say thank you to Sally from me too! I’m glad this article resonated with you. Stillness is essential for hearing the messages of our soul. I like the goal of living every minute like it was your last, because the truth is, it could be.

    Happiness is most definitely a choice. You don’t want to come to the end of you life and realize it then. Thanks for stopping by and for the wonderful insights:-)

  • eleven worthy endeavors.
    gk

  • @Kris: Hi Kris, thanks for sharing that. I am no stranger to worry. In fact, up until about 10 years ago, worry, anxiety and fear consumed most of my life. You can read about it in one of my more recent articles titled: I’m Not Crazy: My Journey through OCD. I still have work to do, but am further along.

    One of my favorite quotes about worry is “Worry is like a rocking chair. It keeps you moving but doesn’t get you anywhere.” I can’t remember who it is by, but it has been a great reminder for me to shift focus to something that will get me somewhere. Hope this helps. :-)

  • @ Dianne Brodie: That’s a big one to give up. I still have work to do on that one. Fantastic to you! Life just flows so much better when ego isn’t involved. :-)

  • These are great reminders - if we stop procrastinating, comparing ourselves to others, and worrying all of the time, we would all be much better off (not to mention we would feel healthier and happier).

  • Great reminders, as per usual on this excellent site.

  • @David P: LOL! For sure, don’t forget to breathe. Not breathing makes it difficult to do anything else. ;-)

  • @gk: Thanks!

  • @H: Great point! And I’ll add that if you don’t take care of yourself, you cannot fully take care of others. You may be able to be there physically, but if your mental and emotional reserves are low, you will have very little to give.

  • Its 5.15am here in Western Australia and my husband has just left for work - I have a routine !!

    I sit and read Marcandangel for my daily dose of “How to Live Today”…. I always find a new mindset from the list of Sensational Road Signs and the day is so precious I don’t want to waste any of it.

    Cheers and know YOU @ marcandangel make a difference

  • @ Mark Whittington: Thanks for the insight. You’ve given me an idea for another article. Are there any books you recommend?

  • Yikes, at the height of what I now refer to as my earlier “half happy life” I was doing 9 of these 11 things. No wonder I wasn’t happy! These are awesome tips, totally on the mark. Great post. Bernadette :)

  • Thanks for these tips, I have anxiety right now and fear is the major emotion and it is holding me back and i just want to live life happy and not scared so thanks again.

  • Lovely, really fascinating stuff. I’m working on that burden of resentment that been plaguing me, looks like I’m winning though.

  • Very inspiring words, thank you. I would add 2 things that I notice in my own life:
    1) Trying to control everything (and I mean everything) - this only leads to disappointment and unhappiness, because you have to accept that some things are just beyond your control.
    2) Overthinking - Don’t know I need to elaborate on this one.

    Thanks

  • @Clair: I’ve never done a silent meditation retreat. They sound so healing. Meditation and stillness are awesome!

  • @Jeffrey James: Well said. It is fine to cultivate what we like about others within ourselves. What leads to unhappiness is comparing ourselves to others against the backdrop of envy, jealousy and judgement.

  • @Mel: So glad you found Marc and Angel Hack Life. Things always have a way of showing up in our lives when we need them most. As Richard Bach said; “you are never given a wish without also being given the power to make it true.” Keep learning, growing and moving forward. :-)

  • @ Ade: Yes, I’ve struggled with that one too. What really got me to get organized was recognizing how my disorganization was holding me back.

    You are so right about disorganization wasting time. LOL! It takes less time to find something you want if you know where it is.

    And then there’s also financial, emotional and mental disorganization. The way I see it is an organized life frees you up for more good things to happen. :-)

  • @MrsBill: Thank you.

    @Richa: Reading your comment gave me goosebumps. Congratulations for putting yourself out there! I know how difficult that can be. But if you won’t take the risk, you don’t give yourself a shot at the reward. “Decide that you want it more than you are afraid of it” is one of my favorite quotes. Have fun on vacation and let us know how it goes.

    @JJ: Thanks for stopping by and the kind words.

    @Denise: Great insight! I too have used the day to day activities in my life as an excuse not to take care of myself in the way I needed to. But the thing is….there was always time to take care of me…. I could wake up early each morning and spend 30 minutes in meditation, contemplation and reflection. Glad you are turning things around. After all, if we aren’t there for ourselves, it makes it difficult for us to be there for others. We may be there physically, but if we are emotionally and mentally drained, we won’t have that to give.

    @Jack: LOL. Thank you! I’ll take a bag of chips and a sweet tea too.

  • Thank for the clear and important article. This everything so true.
    One more happieness killer is to do things for finding recognition from others. We should be who we are and than live our lifes for what makes us happy.

  • Many thanks for sharing with us this knowledge. I think my most limiting habit is that some times I waste a lot of time trying to think about things that I don’t have than the ones I have at the moment. It’s a very challenging situation to cope with. But with the knowledge I’m getting in this blog I’m able to control this habit.

  • Great post, I have been catching up on your blog. I stopped reading and got into a negative rut, and finally got out of it and started soaking up positive messages again. This post really hit home - it is always the simplest, straight forward path that takes you where you need to go !

    Its nice to catch up and feel like I’m in a familiar place : )

  • Great article! You hit all the big ones! I shall share your article with my patients.
    Ilissa Banhazl, marriage and family therapy Glendora, CA

  • You both are doing a great job. May you be blessed.

  • A wonderful blog post. I certainly relate a lot to this. I would add to the list is to be liked by everyone and to do everything you can for everyone you know..thereby consequently giving yourself little or absolutely no time. I’d try to implement all of the above. Thanks a lot!

  • Oh my goodness, I do need help here. Every one of the “11 Habits You Need To Give Up To Be Happy” apply to me. After my daughter sent this link to me and I have read the different posts, I realize I need to be a part of this. Where and how does one start, when there are so many changes to be made within one’s self? My mantra for awhile now has been “one day at a time” but even with this, I struggle almost daily. Would welcome any thoughts. Thank you.

  • Wonderful blog, and personal reminders of lessons I should have learned a long time ago.

    Thank you.

  • I would say that numbers 1, 3 and 4 are the three that resonated with me the most.

    I am so bent on everything in my personal life being “perfect” (an observation made by friends and family) that I worry about everything!

    Trying not to make a mistake, I then do everything that I can not to, by doing everything but the task I should be doing.

    I then worry about what everyone thinks about my lack of progress, and it continues!

  • Perfectionism, or always thinking it is not good enough.

  • Procrastinating, I’m working at that. But I procrastinate a lot because of my fear for yes; everyting. It’s time to overcome that. Need tips, a lot!

  • Laziness is probably one of the biggest influences on how you feel. Watching television or playing videos games the whole day will slowly take all your motivation away. I used to do this all the time, and it made me feel empty. Nowadays I work at a nice little company and make YouTube videos for fun, which makes me feel a lot better about myself. Great post Marc and Angel!

  • Gosh. After reading this, I know I need to make changes. Gotta make a move. You know what they say, “it’s never too late to make a change as long as you start it now.”

  • Thanks so much… it really helped me…

    “Worrying is like a rocking chair. It gives you something to do, but it doesn’t get you anywhere.”

    So true.

  • This is a brilliant article which has helped to make me feel happier. For me, living in the present moment is a biggie. But I would add “Pushing yourself too hard”. This kind of fits in with worrying and comparing yourself to others, but I think, to be happy, you need to listen to your body and mind and accept when you have reached your limit. We live in a world where we try so hard to be perfect, especially with work and studying. Sometimes we need to know when to realise your limits and just let go.

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