post written by: Marc Chernoff

6 Things Happy People Never Do

6 Things Happy People Never Do

Happiness is not something you postpone for the future;
it is something you design into the present.

Happy people do a lot of things.  They spend time expressing gratitude, cultivating optimism, practicing kindness, nurturing loving relationships, committing to meaningful goals, savoring life’s little pleasures, and so on and so forth.

But they NEVER…

1.  Mind other people’s business.

Forget about what others are doing.  Stop looking at where they are and what they have.  Nobody is doing better than you because nobody can do better than you.  YOU are walking your own path.  Sometimes the reason we struggle with insecurity is because we compare our behind-the-scenes circumstances with everyone else’s public highlight reel.  We listen to the noise of the world, instead of ourselves.  So stop the comparisons!  Ignore the distractions.  Listen to your own inner voice.  Mind your own business.

Keep your best wishes and your biggest goals close to your heart and dedicate time to them every day.  Don’t be scared to walk alone, and don’t be scared to enjoy it.  Don’t let anyone’s ignorance, drama, or negativity stop you from being the best you can be.  Keep doing what you know in your heart is right, for YOU.  Because when you are focused on meaningful work and at peace within yourself, almost nothing can shake you.  (Angel and I discuss this in more detail in the “Passion and Growth” chapter of 1,000 Little Things Happy, Successful People Do Differently.)

2.  Seek validation of self-worth from others.

When you are content to simply be yourself, without comparing and competing to impress others, everyone worthwhile will respect you.  And even more importantly, you will respect yourself.

How are you letting others define you?  What would you do differently if you knew nobody would judge you?

Truth be told, no one has the right to judge you.  People may have heard your stories, and they may think they know you, but they can’t feel what you are going through; they aren’t living YOUR life.  So forget what they think and say about you.  Focus on how you feel about yourself, and keep walking the path that feels best under your feet.

Those who accept you are your friends.  Those who don’t are your teachers.  If someone calls you something and it’s true, it’s not your problem because it’s true.  If someone calls you something and it’s not true, it’s not your problem because it’s not true.  Either way, whatever they call you is not your problem.  What other people call you is their problem…

What you call yourself, and who you decide to become, is your problem.

3.  Rely on other people and external events for happiness.

Unhappiness lies in that gap between what we have now and what we think we need.  But the truth is, we don’t need to acquire anything more to be content with what we already have.  We don’t need anyone else’s permission to be happy.  Your life is magnificent not because someone says it is, or because you have acquired something new, but because you choose to see it as such.  Don’t let your happiness be held hostage.  It is always yours to choose, to live and experience.

As soon as you stop making everyone and everything else responsible for your happiness, the happier you’ll be.  If you’re unhappy now, it’s not someone else’s fault.  Take full responsibility for your own unhappiness, and you will instantly gain the ability to be happier.  Stop seeking in vain to arrange conditions that will make you happy.  Simply choose to appreciate the greatness that is yours in this moment, and the right conditions will start to line up around the contentment you seek.

The greater part of your happiness or unhappiness depends upon your outlook, and not upon our situation.  Even if things aren’t perfect right now, think of all the beauty still left around you.  A good reason to smile is always one thought away; choose to tap into it any time you like.  (Read The Gifts of Imperfection.)

4.  Hold on to resentment.

Let today be the day you stop being haunted by the ghosts from your past.  What happened in the past is just one chapter in your story; don’t close the book, just turn the page.

We’ve all been hurt by our own decisions and by others, and while the pain of these experiences is normal, sometimes it lingers for too long.  Feelings of resentment urge us to relive the same pain over and over, and we have a hard time letting go.

Forgiveness is the remedy.  It allows you to focus on the future without combating the past.  To understand the infinite potential of everything going forward is to forgive everything already behind you.  Without forgiveness, wounds can never be healed and personal growth can never be achieved.  It doesn’t mean you’re erasing the past, or forgetting what happened.  It means you’re letting go of the resentment and pain, and instead choosing to learn from the incident and move on with your life.

5.  Spend prolonged periods of time in negative environments.

You can’t make positive choices for the rest of your life without an environment that makes those choices easy, natural, and enjoyable.  So protect your spirit and potential from contamination by limiting your time with negative people and the environments they inhabit.

When other people invite you to act like victims, when they whine and moan about the unfairness of life, for example, and ask you to agree, to offer condolences, and to participate in their grievances, WALK AWAY.  When you join in that game of negativity you always lose.

Even when you’re alone, create a positive mental space for yourself.  Make it a point to give up all the thoughts that make you feel bad, or even just a few of them that have been troubling you, and see how doing that changes your life.  You don’t need negative thoughts.  They are all lies.  They solve nothing.  All they have ever given you is a false self that suffers for no reason.  (Read Buddha’s Brain.)

6.  Resist the truth.

It is a certain deathtrap when we spend our lives learning how to lie, because eventually these lies grow so strong in our minds that we become bad at seeing, telling and living our own truth.  Lives come apart so easily when they have been held together with lies.  If you resist the truth, you will live a lie every day as the truth haunts your thoughts every night.  You simply can’t get away from your truth by moving dishonestly from one place to the next.

So don’t bend; don’t water it down; don’t try to hide the truth with deception; don’t edit your own soul according to the fashion of what’s popular.  It is better to offer no explanation or excuse than a false one.  It takes courage and strength to admit the truth, but it is the only way to truly live.  Accept what is, embrace it fully, and live for the possibilities that lie ahead.

Your turn…

What would you add to the list?  What’s something you should NOT do if you want to be happy?  Leave a comment below and share your thoughts.

Photo by: Danorbit

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  • #4 and #5 are ones that strike home for me. Spending prolonged time in a negative environment (unfortunately it was a house I shared with in-laws) led me to one of the darkest times of my life. It ultimately led to the end of a 16 year relationship with my wife, the loss of my home, my possessions, and sanity. I lost my father to illness 6 months later and I had to start life again from scratch. I was angry, bitter and twisted.
    It’s now been two years, I have forgiven my wife for her infidelity and I wish her and her new partner the best of luck!

    My drinking habits have largely vanished (though I still like a beer every now and then), I have my own place, I am content with my own company, I’m free, I’ve “found” an inner peace that I lost a long time ago. And for the first time in my life, I’m actually a person who wants of nothing!

    Life is awesome now!!!

  • My two cents: You should not let fear rule your life.

  • Happy people never argues with another person for the sake of appearing right. It goes somewhere along with #2, seeking validation. When I know someone is wrong I try my best to hold my tongue. It’d be easy to voice my thoughts rationally, but quite as easy to do it condescendingly as well. Many people will have a belief and will hold onto it even when your facts are presented to them. If it is a topic that you know they won’t listen with open ears, don’t open your mouth just so you can appear wiser in the eyes of those around you. The only thing that does is boost your ego.

  • Everyday, you have a choice. Literally. A choice to do what you want to do for your happiness, if at the end of the day, you claim everyone made you unhappy, that too was your choice.

  • I believe that one useful attitude to have a happy life is to have no expectations from people. Living an expectation free life gives the ease to flow through life events and people behaviors without being hurt deeply. Somethings might surprise you or shock you, but by expecting that everything is possible (or not expecting much from anyone) makes bouncing back and having more neutral and balanced reaction much more smooth and peaceful.

  • I would add avoid dealing with major problems to the list. I think if you are in denial about major aspects of your life, you can never be really happy.

  • I needed this today. Thank you so much.

  • To add to what Vincent said, I’d like to add do not force your opinions on others or think you know best as everyone is coming from somewhere. State your point calmly and listen to others. At the very least, you can always agree to disagree.

  • I especially like the line “your happiness or unhappiness depends upon your outlook and not your situation”.

    Years ago when I was a divorced mom I read so,mewhere that the art of happiness was knowing what to overlook and also I remember writing on my bathroom mirror to learn to value things that are free (beautiful sunshine in your window was one).

    I so find enrichment in your articles.
    God bless both of you and this work you do for all of us!

  • I have been going through a lot of stress in my 28 year marriage (from both our ends). I had decided to accept my responsibility for my part in it & not let it determine how I spent another day or the rest of my life. I told my husband the same thing & he was relieved that we were not going to continue to carry this anger with us. You told me exactly what I needed today in more ways than one! Thank for your insight & giving me some guidelines to remember when I want to be unhappy because I am the one who chooses each day what that day is going to be like and I choose HAPPINESS!

  • The Desiderata is my inspiration starting with “never compare yourself to others, for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.” I envy no-one and would change places with no-one. I’m not Polyanna but I try to be grateful for all the good around me, big and small. Gratitude can’t be overrated.

  • Self-criticism is a big one for me to let go of!

    I’m better than I used to be but I’m quite hard on myself if things don’t go as planned. I think this has a lot to do with having a growth mindset which I have been practising over the last year. I followed these 7 steps to get to the happier, more self-compassionate place where I am now:

  • Happy people believe that people can be happy.

  • I heard exactly what I needed to hear today, thanks M&A

  • Thank you for this amazing post!
    I realized that I have been doing all of the things listed above, therefore I believe those are the reason why I always feel empty, numb and even happiness means nothing to me anymore.

    I should turn those things into things I WILL NEVER DO AGAIN :D

  • Reserve judgment. When you don’t understand why another person acts out, sometimes toward you, reserve judgment. My teenage daughter recently commented, negatively and emotionally, to a friend’s behavior that day at school. I asked her if she’d done anything offensive to that person, and if not, then simply let it go. Be friendly, helpful, and encouraging (often by asking a question like “How’s your day going?”) OR just walk away.

    I went through an entire year at work with an employee who was negative and difficult. I made it my mission that every time I encountered this person’s negative comments or complaints, I would listen briefly and then say “How can I help you meet those expectations? What can I do for you?” And I was there to make sure the job was done. Several months later, the employee comes into work and announces that her divorce was final and she’d changed her name! That was the first time she’d shared. So… reserve judgment. Don’t make it about you when it is probably not about you.

  • You’ve covered so many of my own stumbling blocks in this post. Thank you for reminding me that I don’t need to trip over them.

  • I would add that happy people do not live in fear of the unknown. They realize that attempting to change others or control situations which are out of their control will interfere with the natural order of things, and drain their spirit in the process. You can not have a peaceful and happy life if you are allowing fear to co-habitate with you.

  • Happy people never…

    1. Give up.
    There is sunshine above the clouds, even if we can’t see it right now. There is more money to be gained, more opportunities to be had, more…

    2. Look at what they don’t have.
    Instead, they appreciate what they do have. Then, when they see something they like, they have good feelings about it instead of wistful, longing feelings of lack.

  • I’m having trouble overcoming #3. If you’re unhappy because you are lonely, and you have difficulty meeting other people, how do you get out of the situation without relying on other people?

  • I would add the following:

    “Happy people do not live in the past. They stay in the present.” You can’t travel back in time and change (fill in the blank), but you can learn from it and move on with your life.

    “Happy people do not please others because they know they can’t.” No matter how much you do for someone, it may never be enough. You can’t force someone to like you or approve of you. Stop pleasing others. Please yourself instead.

    “Happy people do not analyze everything to death.” Sh** happens in life. Learn to go with the flow. Don’t analyze why this or that happened. Learn from (fill in the blank) and move on with your life.

    “Happy people do not allow others to tell them what to do.” While it’s wise to seek counsel from those you trust, you’re better off making your own decisions. Deep down, you know what you want to do or what is right for you. Do not allow others to tell you what to do.

    “Happy people do not share their dreams straightaway. They keep their dreams to themselves and/or share them with those who’ll understand and support them.” Keep your mouth shut! If you have a brand new dream, do not tell everyone about it. Don’t post it on Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, Tumblr, Pinterest, Instagram, etc. Do not send everyone in your contact list an email and/or text about it. Do not tell your family and friends. Nurture your dream. When the time is right, share it with those who’ll understand and support you. Otherwise, your dream will be crushed in less than 2.5 seconds.

    Great post! Thanks for writing it.

  • 1. Happy people know maintaining happiness takes work. Its not a destination, its a way of travelling. So they never take it for granted.
    2. Most people cannot tell you their definition of success, and I would wager most cannot define their happiness either. Just knowing what your definition is puts you ahead of the pack. So happy people never second guess what makes them happy.

  • If you want to be happy you should not be living outside of the moment. I often find myself “planning” for next week, next month, and even the next few years. It is hard to live in the moment and accept things for what they are and take in the moment and the little things that mean the most. I think that I pass up on the little everyday joys beacause in my mind I am planning for a future that has not even arrived and is not even promised.

  • Not seeking validation from a boss, knowing in my own truth that I was working to my potential and making a difference was the only thing that saved me from a bad environment. I used the experience to teach me lessons that I will use in my new job, that is full of positivity and the people embrace me because of my inner happiness.
    Your posts have allowed me to stay on my own journey and not take on others victimness.
    Thank you two-I will continue to read your blogs.

  • Right on Marc and Angel! Thank you for your insights!

  • #4 is especially powerful. I struggled for a long time on how to let go of my resentments.

    I have come to a place where I am “faking it until I make it”. Each day, I act “as if” those resentments aren’t there. I concentrate on what is happening today ONLY - not what happened in the past or how that is likely to repeat in the future.

    When my mind starts to wander to the past or future, I have gone so far as to use my hands as blinders to remind myself to focus on what is in front of me NOW.

    So, far it is helping a lot :)

  • Happy People also never begrudge any one else’s success or happiness.

  • All of us have to deal with more than one problem at any given time. My recipe is to imagine a place where you can store all your problems in different shelves, then open one, seek for a solution… if the problem is solved, great ! If not, put it back on the shelf and go for the next one. Never open all your problems at the same time - less stressful this way.

  • Rule # 1: Don’t sweat the small stuff.
    Rule # 2: It’s all small stuff.

  • @ISSA O: You hit a home run for me… Thank you!

  • Thank you for writin’ these sentences and sharin’ with us! I’ve been following this blog from long ago and I read ‘em specially when I’m stuck in a bad inner mood! I wanted to add something to the list above:

    • Thinking about possibilities of trouble, happening ahead and worryin’ about ‘em makes the happiness go away!

    • Complaining about the life and fate, instead of tryin’ to be a better man out of the situation!

  • Happy people don’t argue with others. They listen, interpret and gladly draw their own conclusions. Nobody is wrong. We just experience things differently.

  • Happy people don’t see themselves as helpless - they tend to wield the might powers of decision and responsibility to consciously direct their lives.

  • I have just loved what you said and would add Amandah’s list. I had been struggling with # 4 for a long time, but it is over now.

  • The glass IS really always half full.

  • I’ve have always read people’s comment that asked, ‘Did you write that for me?’…. and I found it little hard to believe that they actually meant it. But today, when I read #1 and #2, it felt like you DID know what I was thinking, and said the exact words I needed to hear! God, you’re such a blessing! Thank you! :)

  • Thanks for the great post and all the very useful and valid comments.

    At the end it comes down to do what you like, be yourself and do not search recognition as it will come on it’s own when you are happy.

  • A brilliant post. No): 3 and No): 5 hit home for me. I used to be so sensitive to other people’s opinion and didn’t realize such a negative environment which I was working in.

    I finally realized that you can’t please everyone and you have to avoid negative people. Changed my circle of friends and feel so much happier and positive about life


  • Wonderful post
    a gift … received!
    I Give Thanks for Marc and Angel.

    Also Karen! … your post on ‘reserving judgement’ on the ‘treatment’ you may be receiving from someone is so on point and a definite ‘add to the list’ for me.

    Thank you!

  • Everyone is a winner for me! So glad someone shared your site with me… I continually get re-energized reading it…

  • All you say makes so much sense, but I still struggle to put ‘me’ first - I still tend to do things that does not appease myself (or any others!).
    Does it come naturally, or do I need to work harder to break my awful habits?

  • Great post. Particularly true about not spending prolonged periods of time in negative environments. Takes some courage to move away from places/spaces that bring you down, particularly if those are places/spaces are where you earn your living or where you spend time with a familiar set of people. Really enjoyed reading this list. Thanks.
    Bernadette :)

  • Marc and Angel, all i can say is THANK U VERY MUCH. You have been great teachers to me personally. I am trying to learn from the experiences you have faced throughout the years and the sound advice you give to me each and every week! Thank you sincerely from my heart.

  • Hi Marc and Angel.

    Good call on the ‘minding your own business’ content. That is what we need to do in order to have an unadulterated time handling what we have as a game plan. Working through other people’s plans and paths is an insult to our own path.

    I can see that these various items listed here relate to how we deal with other people and their presence. We are usually fine on our own, but some of us are more consistent in focusing on our own path, and some are more affected or distracted by the presence of others.

  • Happy people never sacrifice other people for their own happiness.

  • They never fail to find the lesson in any setback that comes along.

  • Happy people never give in to envy of others’ lives and possessions.

  • Thanks for this post. I am glad I came across it at a very crucial time.

  • Fear life.

  • Oh! Lovely Article, it made my day!

    I firmly believe that happiness lies within and happy people don’t think much of past, they find opportunity in every difficulty - they put their best efforts to solve problems and they don’t give excuses.

    Thanks for sharing this advice!

  • Teresa Phillips
    July 18th, 2013 at 3:04 am

    Happy people are always honest, with themselves first and always with others. Happy people look for the truth instead of hiding from it.

  • I’m 18 and I have no one to teach me simple tips for life like this, but your articles really help me……THANKS A LOT.

  • 1. Act in a(ny) way that contradicts their core beliefs.

    (Sometimes what you need to hear/read isn’t what you want to hear/read, but I am always grateful to have heard/read it here guys. As always, thank you!)


  • Awesome post.
    #1 Regarding point 1, I have experienced the inner peace after giving up on superficial things like logging on to facebook,checking out what others are up to and feeling miserable about myself.
    #2 Regarding point 4 and 5, I have spent almost two horrible years of my life with an ex girlfriend. After the break up, I had malignant thoughts about him for a long time. But I have realized that things in life happen for a reason which is always in the long term best for us. I am extremely happy that the negative relationship has ended. I am back to my cheerful and ambitious self:) Cheers!

  • Great insights! My only comment would be to present it in a positive manner - as in what actions happy people take. When we choose to seek the positive, we will find happiness.

  • Great list. Number one is something that I constantly remind myself and tell others to avoid. We don’t need or even can be the manager of the world. Stop worrying about others’ indiscretions and start taking care of yourself. By doing that you will notice less and be a lot happier.

  • Happy people also have courage and meditate.

  • @All: Wow! Such beautiful insights. Thank you. I just printed all of your comments. I’m going to review them in detail first thing tomorrow morning (as I sip my morning tea) and then I’ll jump back on here and respond to some of you personally (the comments that warrant a response).

  • Man, this is the type of stuff we should be teaching right along side conventional subjects in school. There’s so much internal turmoil that isn’t addressed until we reach our breaking point.

  • @Happy Feet: Between the love in your heart and thoughts in your mind is a happy, peaceful place. Congratulations!

    @Connie: Happiness is a choice. For every minute you are angry or irritated, you lose 60 seconds of happiness. Be happy. Be yourself.

    @Qaisara: You can do it! Today is a new day! =)

    @Karen: ““How can I help you meet those expectations? What can I do for you?” You can get almost everything in life you need if you simply help enough people around you get what they need. Great advice! Thank you!

    @Juniper: I hadn’t heard this particular sunshine analogy before; I love it! Thank you!

    @Jeff: You have to be willing be vulnerable, and put yourself out there but not before you feel comfortable and happy with yourself.

    @Amandah: As always, thank you for the added insight. =)

    @Barbara: Congratulations on the new job and environment!

    @Patricio: Great advice!

    @David: =)

    @N: I am glad we could be that positive light! =)

    @Jackie: Don’t make the mistake of waiting on someone or something to come along and make you happy. True happiness comes from within. Make it a point to put you first.

    @Midge: Cheers!

    @All: Great additions to the list! We have so many reasons to be happy today. Enjoy it! =)

  • Thank you for including #5, it’s so easy to overlook one’s environment when making a list like this. So many people focus only on the internal things, and forget that sometimes a simple change of atmosphere can bring a lot of happiness.

  • Nice list, I’d add: happy people never miss an opportunity to have fun. Part of being happy is to see the fun in life.

  • I especially like these lines:
    “Your happiness or unhappiness depends upon your outlook and not your situation” &
    “Forgiveness is the remedy… It doesn’t mean you’re erasing the past, or forgetting what happened. It means you’re letting go of the resentment and pain…”
    Thanks for sharing, it has brightened my day!

  • Another thing happy people never do is think about the past all the time and wonder “What if I’d…”

    We have no control over what has already happened, so pointless speculation about what life would have been like now is stopping us building a happy future.

  • I don’t like drama, I avoid it whenever I can, walking away, not joining in on the gossip and naysayers, and not talking about others behind their backs. If I have something to say, I’ll say it to the person in private. So, if I respect others’ privacy and mind my own business, why is it that my coworkers think I’m snobby?

  • Patricio - I *love* your advice!

  • This article has so much truth in it! For instance, when I’m happy and feel content, I care less about what other people are doing and what they have compared to be. Instead I focus on myself & I’m true to myself, making me even happier :-)

  • Thank you very much for this insightful post! I would add:

    Happy people never say or do things in contradiction with their own values and ethics.

    I think a lot of sentiment of guilt or shame or giving importance to other people’s judgement can come from the fact that deep down, we are not in line with our choices and actions. It is much easier to separate ourselves from other people’s opinion when we are at peace with ourselves in the first place.

  • This list is gold. I often find myself falling into some of these traps.

    Especially seeking validation from others when I am unsure or nervous about making a decision. I’m working to just make the decision and go vs. second-guessing myself all the time.

  • This is a good list of things to NOT do in order to be happy. It is also important to know the things that one SHOULD do to achieve a life of happiness. So here are my prescriptions:

    1. Apathy
    2. Cynicism
    3. Low Expectations
    4. Nearly Constant Intoxication.

    You’re Welcome.

  • Learn from the past and move on. Only worry about things that you have control or influence over, everything else causes stress.

  • Woah..kick on the teeth..found myself grumbling this week, my daughter is getting married today and I’ve been feeling like I haven’t measured up to her expectations. She is deeply weighed down by this event and earlier this year I backed off from immersing myself in her world to give her some breathing room, as well as trust the process..haven’t been feeling happy..want to offer my help, but have been given small jobs, and feel out of the normal routine of over helping! mothering turns onto smothering, however I’ve found myself grumbling about how things seem poorly executed(controlling mother)instead of enjoying her delight over what shes doing , thinking of how I could help more if she’d let me…blah blah does not make for happiness. I’m exhausted! Taking a back seat and consciously.

    Now redirecting my energy to being infectiously happy today. Great turnabout message for me! Thank you.

  • I just stumbled across this article… what a brilliant read! Thank you! Here’s something else to add to the list:

    Failing to follow you heart and failing to be present in each and every moment.

    Suffering arises from living in the past and worrying about the future. Only when you are living from the heart are you being truly present in the moment.

  • These are very helpful tips to stay happy and productive at work. Avoiding pessimism and being with people with a negative blend of mind is one of the foremost tasks which are conveniently ignored by most of the people, when actually the brain shall be attuned to sorting out the positive from the negative.

  • One other thing I would add is: Try to give the other person the benefit of the doubt, when words are spoken. They may, and more often than not, do not mean them the way they sound to you. This will help you to think well of others and not become judgmental and critical which robs us of our own happiness.

  • Great article and very true. A great reminder that we are all in control of our own happiness. We shouldn’t determine happiness based on things we do or don’t have and what others have and what others think of us.

  • Happy people never feel trapped or hopeless. They know that they have the power to bring about change in their lives, even if they haven’t figured out how yet!

    Great post, thank you!

  • Always be optimistic and never underestimate other people. Wishing them the best helps their spirits as they go on their journey.

  • It’s nice to read such helpful words. Thank you!!

  • What I think is that happy people never..

    See the bad in others.

    It’s always so easy to see the bad in others and forget all the good in them. When you refuse to see their good points and only focus on the bad, chances are, you don’t like them. This is not only unfair to the people you’re unknowingly hating on, you’re also making yourself tired by holding that negative feelings against them.

    Whenever people do something bad or wrong, give them the benefit of the doubt. Put yourself in their shoes and think about what you would do. Don’t judge them because of one wrong action. Always strive to see the good in others because, I trust, everyone is good-natured. When you see the good in others and look past their bad points (also part of accepting them for who they are), you would naturally feel happier because then you would feel that ‘hey, I’m hanging out with such a nice guy’ and you’d naturally feel better too.

  • Just dare to be happy!!! Then the happiness will see the door you’ve opened and will come to you.

  • Pray… We can’t be happy without a little prayer.

  • Don’t let narrow minded people judge you, especially if they don’t know you,. If these people don’t know you and you don’t know them it’s not important enough to spoil your day. You’re special to those who truly care and that’s all that matters.

  • Thanks for this and all your other wonderful posts, they are uplifting and are of a great help and comfort to me in my little life journey. x

  • Happy people never cast themselves as the victims of their own story. They are able to recognize when something is out of their control, but they always take responsibility for their own well-being (and the well-being of those around them) to whatever degree they can.

  • EXERCISE! You can feel one way and act another, but eventually your true feelings will get out, so let them be healthy and vibrant feelings resonating from a body that is ALIVE and WELL!!! Happiness is having a better time than you thought you would, and through your body is how you spend all your time, so clean the drains and flush out the gunk that is not letting your happiness get through to you and the world!

  • As Wadsworth said, “If it’s raining, the best thing you can do is let it rain.” There are certain things in life we must accept if we are to move on in a positive direction. Also, JFK used the wisdom of Aristotle in his inauguration speech: “God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.” If I could only practice what I preach!

  • The last one is particularly essential, I believe, because it dovetails with so many of the others. I have spent a long time being unhappy because I’m with a person who doesn’t really treat me like I matter, yet I have expected, even demanded within, that give me that. Regardless of what I do with the relationship -whether I stay or go- the fact is that I am never going to get her to give me that. No amount of pining away, people-pleasing, begging, complaining, whining, passive aggression, fits, pouting, tantrums, or anything is going to change her. This is a truth that frees the hell out of me when I do not resist it!

  • Those who are truly happy never drink alone.

  • Happy people don’t:

    1. Say “I’ll Be Happy When…”
    2. Complain about their life
    3. Judge other people
    4. Be rude to other people
    5. Often lose control of their emotions
    6. Have strong attachments
    7. Have a grim face
    8. Blame others
    9. Use drugs (I hope)

  • Happy people never look back on the bad things. They just move on. 😊

  • Thank you for your wise words! I would add that sorrow has no permanent place in a happy person’s life.

  • I’ve been living with my pride too long time. After reading this article, time to change myself… Thanks for letting me read these good advices.

  • Very inspiring reading! Great way to start my day. Thanks for allowing yourself to be led to minister to others. This I intend to share with all the people I know. Thanks again!

  • Great post,

    I think #5, spending extended time in negative spiral, is the worst enemy to happiness.

  • Beautiful piece of work. Being happy requires you not worrying about millions things which aren’t important.

  • Happy People Are Never:
    1. Too perfect not to be flexible
    2. Judgmental of those who are simply different
    3. Angry at what they cannot change
    4. Afraid to change the things they can
    5. Afraid to be different
    6. So focused on the negative that they are blinded from the positive…

    And with that being said… Happy people ARE:
    Willing to choose the perspective OR action that brings happiness to the present moment. And happy People ARE willing to let the rest of the negative go… Too shake it off for the sake of freedom, liberty, and strength to bring joy into the world! And to accept grace and courage from divine sources or from those we love when we feel weak… A balance of strength and humility… ALL for the sake of JOY!!!!!

  • I would say keep a little kid in you in every stage of life. Kids have a sense of wonder and are easily amused.

    This was a great post…I was naturally a happy kid, but living in an abusive world has scared me. My coping mechanisms are screwed up. But I’m working on this in counseling to get my happy gene reignited.

  • Love is kind all the time.

    If it’s not effortless it’s impossible.

    Lastly, Only surround yourself with people who value you and who are of value.

  • This is an uplifting website. Thanks for all the inspirational thoughts. I would add to this, something that so many of your wonderful articles point to; don’t follow a false path. Follow your true path. The false path leads to unhappiness. Not at first -there is often a level of comfort in a sort of lazy status quo - but it eventually leads to a hollow longing for opportunity lost. I plan on getting back on the true path. Thanks Mark and Angel.

  • What if you’re happy with yourself but you remain alone without attracting anyone in your life who want you?

    And what if you can’t find or if it is out of your financial means to get into a positive environment?

  • 1. Happiness is realizing and accepting the “actual” truth of life i.e this “life” is temporary and will end one day. Thus, don’t stress!

    2. Happiness is all about making others happy. One does not require “money” to make others happy. One can give: blessings, one’s time, love, smile, a hug, a kiss, kind words, emotional/spiritual support etc.

  • I feel good reading these! It’s not me, it’s them.

  • This is one of the best articles I have ever read. And to add on to that..happy people they never stop praying. They watch and hope. Thanks

  • Live life with no regrets. The consequences from every choice or decision you make in life is only there to make you stronger and wiser. Obviously, take the time to think what is the worst that could happen and then ask yourself, is it something you can live with and learn from? A ‘mistake’ is just a “step missed taken” and the steps you continue to take upward and forward from that point on will eventually lead to happiness.

  • Now is the only moment of power we have to be happy. All hopes for the future, and memories of the past only exist now. This moment is where the past and the future comes together.

  • Kumar Saurabh
    May 8th, 2014 at 1:05 pm

    Life is a book. I am the writer of my book. Thanks for reminding me.

    Hey, I am an introvert but kinda managed to say thanks. Thanks for your real life platforms. May God bless you both :-)

  • Reminds me that it is not life about breaking out of our shells and doing things that make us feel alive - even if there are risks! It’s never too late.

  • I am soooo guilty of #2…
    But, with the help of my hubby, I’m trying hard not to define my self worth with the views and opinions of other people.
    Another great read from this site!

  • Although this is more about being content than happiness, faith in Jesus as my savior is a good way to be happy as well as content.

    Also, physical exercise keeps my brain muscles going and releases those happy hormones but a lot of people nowadays forget to keep those faith muscles strong too.

  • The one I would add to that list is never use the words “I can’t”. Yes you can! There is always a way and always a solution it’s not always the one you wanted or in the shape, color or time you expected but it’s there. If you seek, think positive, work hard and honest it will reveal it self.
    When the light is dim just believe..

  • Do not worry about the future. What’s meant to happen, will happen anyway :)

  • I think being happy for others is equally important as it increases your happiness manifold. I am rarely jealous of others, i know there is more than enough in this world for each one of us.

  • Happy people never neglect their spiritual side.

  • This is a great perspective…looking at things that can’t bring happiness instead of what needs to be done to be happy. I feel happiness is something we choose not something we find. There are simple things we can do to be happy. Love your quote, “Keep your best wishes and biggest goals close to your heart and dedicate time to them everyday.” Thank you for posting!

  • Just dont expect anything from anyone… just give…..

  • Most unhappy people are unhappy with themselves, whether they internalize it or throw it out as negativity toward everything and everyone. Empathy not apathy. People like that don’t have the slightest clue who they are. Understanding that others may have this limitation won’t draw you down with them. Enjoy your own company. You’ll be happy no matter where you are.

  • I think number one on your list is HUGE. I spend a lot of time in my day job dealing with people who have a difficult time with that one. Keeping your mind on your own business keeps you focused on solving your own issues, not letting other people’s issues become yours.

    As my dad always says “Don’t make your problem my problem”.

  • Amazing post! I love the caption under the first image because it’s just so true! Happiness indeed exists only in the present moment, and never in the future.

    If I have to choose between the presented tips, I’d say that all of them are excellent, but for me personally number 3 and number 4 were the biggest contributors for my inner disturbance for a while…

    Thanks for this great article!

  • Be a person of integrity…if you don’t know exactly what that means..Look it up!

    You will find that you have to rely on yourself a lot in life, so be a person of integrity….you really don”t want to be relying on a person of poor character.

    Understand that we are always changing as humans.. it’s alright to change your mind… If you find that what you have been doing isn’t working..change it! change the way you think about it.
    and I just recently learned for myself..and I truly hope this is helpful to others…when the storms come in your life..”don’t run from them.. hold on tight and wait them out. They show you the weak spots in yourself. Just like a building structure needs to be inspected after a bad storm, so do we.

  • This is amazing very helpful. At first I thought I can find happiness from external events. But after reading this I found out that I should take responsibility of my own happiness or unhappiness.

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