6 Strong Signs it’s Time to Let Go

6 Strong Signs it’s Time to Let Go

You will never achieve what you are capable of if you are
too attached to the things you’re supposed to let go of.

Many people believe holding on and hanging in there, infinitely, are signs of incredible strength.  But there are times when it takes much more strength to know when to let go, and then to actually do it.

In today’s video blog post we’re going to take a look at some signs it might be time to let go.

Video Blog Post:

Signs it’s Time to Let Go (video transcript):

1.  Someone constantly expects you to be someone you’re not.

A great relationship is about two things: First, appreciating the similarities, and second, respecting the differences.  So be cordial, but don’t completely change who you are for someone else simply because it’s what THEY want, or because it’s what THEY think is best for you.

If someone expects you to be someone you’re not, take a step back.  It’s wiser to lose relationships over being who you are, than to keep them intact by pretending to be someone else.  It’s easier to nurse a little heartache and meet someone new, than it is to piece together your own shattered identity.  It’s easier to fill an empty space in your life where somebody else used to be, than it is to fill the empty space within yourself where YOU used to be.

2.  A person’s actions don’t match their words.

Be wary of people who only tell you what you want to hear.  It’s so easy to believe someone when they’re telling you exactly what you want to hear, but you have to watch what they do too.  Actions speak louder than words – actions speak the whole truth.

Honestly, everybody deserves somebody who helps them look forward to tomorrow.  If someone has the opposite effect on you, because they are consistently inconsistent, and their actions never match up with their words, it might be time to let them go.  It’s always better to be alone than to be in bad company.  In the end, true friendship is a promise made in the heart – silent, unwritten, unbreakable by distance, and unchangeable by time.  So don’t just listen to what your “friends” say; watch what they do over the long-term.  Your true friends will slowly reveal themselves.

3.  You have a habit of moping and feeling sorry for yourself.

If you don’t like something, change it.  If you can’t change it, change the way you think about it.  Being hurt is something you can’t stop from happening, but being miserable is always your choice.  No matter how bad things are, you can always make things worse.  Negative thinking creates negative results.  Positive thinking creates positive results.  Period.  The only limits to the possibilities in your life tomorrow are the “buts” you use today.  Things always turn out best for people who make the best out of the way things turn out.

Eventually you will realize that happiness is not the absence of problems, but simply the ability to deal well with them.  Imagine all the wondrous things your mind might embrace if it weren’t wrapped so tightly around your struggles.  Always look at what you have, instead of what you have lost.  Because it’s not what the world takes away from you that counts; it’s what you do with what you have left.  (Angel and I discuss this in detail in the “Adversity” chapter of 1,000 Little Things Happy, Successful People Do Differently.)

4.  You’re clutching tight to an easy-street mentality.

Great accomplishments aren’t easy; they’re worth it!  So forget how you feel and remember what you deserve.  Right NOW is always the best time to break out of your shell.  Chances must be taken, mistakes must be made, and lessons must be learned.

Someday you will look back on your life and realize that everything worthwhile you’ve ever accomplished initially challenged you.  And that is as it should be, because big challenges often prepare ordinary people for extraordinary success.  Every struggle arises for a reason – either for experience or as a lesson.  A great journey is never easy, and no dose of adversity along the way is ever a waste of time if you learn and grow from it.

Remember, an arrow can only be shot by pulling it backwards, and such is life.  When life is pulling you back with difficulties, it means it’s going to eventually launch you forward in a positive direction.  So keep focusing, and keep aiming!

5.  You truly dislike your current situation.

In life, it’s always better to be at the bottom of the ladder you want to climb, rather than the top of the one you don’t.  So don’t let people who gave up on their goals talk you out of going after yours.  The best thing you can do in most situations is to follow your intuition.  Take risks.  Don’t just make the safe and easy choices because you’re afraid of what might happen.  If you do, nothing good will ever happen.

In addition, realize that it’s not always about trying to fix something that’s broken either.  Sometimes it’s about starting over and creating something brand new.  Sometimes you need to distance yourself to see things clearly.  Sometimes growing stronger means growing apart from old habits, relationships, and circumstances, and finding something different that truly moves you – something that gets you so excited you can’t wait to get out of bed in the morning.  That’s what LIVING is all about.  Don’t just settle for the default settings in life, when you can customize absolutely everything.  (Read The 4-Hour Workweek.)

6.  You catch yourself obsessing over, and living in, the past.

Holding on to what’s no longer there holds too many of us back.  Some of us spend the vast majority of our lives recounting the past and letting it steer the course of the present.  Don’t waste your time trying to live in another time and place.  Let it GO!  You must accept the end of something in order to build something new.  So close some old doors today.  Not because of pride, inability or egotism, but simply because you’ve entered each one of them in the past and realize that they lead to nowhere.

Even after the toughest times, eventually you will overcome the heartache, and forget the reasons you cried, and who caused the pain.  You will realize that the secret to happiness and freedom is not about control or revenge, but in letting things unfold naturally, and learning from your experiences over the course of time.  After all, what matters most is not the first, but the final chapter of your life, which unveils the details of how well you wrote your story.  So let go of the past, set yourself free, and open your mind to the possibility of a new beginning.

Your turn…

If you feel like you need to let something go, but you simply haven’t been able to do so, know that you’re not alone.  Accepting what is, letting go, and moving on are skills that all of us must learn when facing the realities of life, but these are also skills that take time to master.  And today we challenge you to put in a little time…

Sit quietly with yourself, and ask, “What’s the #1 thing I need to let go of right now?”  Once you have it figured out, leave us a comment below and let us know what you’re going to start letting go of.

Photo by: Lotus Carroll

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  1. Danielle says

    I need to let go of the guy I’ve been seeing for a year. I should have never gotten involved with him to begin with. He’s married (I’m considered evil I know). He said he was going to leave. We made the necessary steps in order for the transition to be a little less hard. We got a place and then a week before the date of him leaving, he told me his wife begged him to try and he feels like he has to. She doesn’t know he fell in love with me. He thought it would be more painful on her if he told her he didn’t love her anymore. This was 5 months ago. Now I’m in this place that was meant to be ours by myself. He hasn’t tried with his wife. We still see each other. He still tells me I’m the love of his life and he wishes he had the balls to leave, but he doesn’t want to hurt her because she’s a nice person and it would be hard on the kids. He’s always begging me to not leave his side, to be patient with him, to continue to love him. But I’m in soo much pain everytime he leaves me. We have this connection that’s undeniable. We see each other every day and I feel like he was meant for me. We talk all the time. While he’s home he texts me telling me he misses me and loves me. I’ve been patient, but I’m miserable. Waiting and hoping for something that may never happen. Putting my life on hold. I know I need to move on but don’t know where to begin, or how.

  2. Nae says

    I need to let go of the following things:

    1) my current relationship that is so obviously NOT working

    2) my feelings of guilt about letting go of my current relationship because I don’t want to hurt the other person

    3) Fear….fear of not being who I really want to be, I want to open my soul to the world but that scares me shitless (excuse my language) lol

    4) all of the judgmental, lazy, close-minded, unambitious, backstabbing people around me whom I love

    5) My extreme indecisiveness…..like seriously

    6)Fear of what others may say or think about me. I love me and that should be enough

    7)My low self-esteem and body consciousness….it takes a toll on my free-spirit trying to come out.

    8)My inability to say “no”

    9)Worry…..gahhhhh I worry about EVERYTHING and I hate it because it seems to last for days at a time before something takes my mind off of it then I just find something else to worry about….

    10)My religious condemnation, I don’t know what I want to believe in or if I want to believe…

    I have let these 10 items single handedly steer my course of life…..not anymore because I am letting go!

    Thank you!! :)

  3. The mistake. says

    I would like to let go of my ex boyfriend, it’s been about 2years and I still think about him, the touch of his hands against my body.. The way he grabs my head to kiss me when he missed me. His eyes when he told me he loved me. & all the nights we stayed up and talked, my favourite is the way he used to love me.. And my tears when I left him.. It all seems so fresh in my memory. But now I have a son with someone I constantly have to over think if I love him or even want to be with anymore because I felt he sucked the life out of me. I’m a proud mother but I wish I could have done everything differently and listened to everything my ex was telling me.

  4. Sharon says

    I have decided to let go of a guy I use to date years ago. He has a girlfriend but contact me with all his problems. He use to be on drugs back then and I think he is still on drugs. I wish his new girlfriend knew he is a bad person. He is a liar, cheater and drug addicted. So glad I decided to let him go. Bye Melvin im glad he live hours away!

  5. Bella says

    After 21 years I have finally realised that my best female friend was never really a true friend to me. I always had a gut feeling that she was jealous and never really wanted the best for me but only now I can see this. I believe that she was insecure about herself and so in making subtle digs at me, she felt better about herself. All the sighs were there, I was just blind to them. We have drifted apart in the last 18 months due to lifestyle changes and it’s been during this time away from her that it’s become so clear. I have changed and my confidence has grown and I truly believe that she’s fighting to keep me as I was when we became friends: a shy and unsure 15 year old. I’m not scared and I don’t need to follow her or anyone anymore.

    I’m trying so hard to break free from her for my sanity and self preservation but she’s making it so difficult. I still love her as a friend but I don’t like what I have allowed her to do to me; I need to break away from her for good. What makes it harder is that she is my only friend but that reason and history alone can’t keep the friendship going. The thought of being free from her gives me hope and peace. I know in my heart that better things will come into my life because of this decision. What’s so sad is that you expect relationships to end at some point but not friendships, I really thought that this one would be life long. I’m ready to let go of her and the guilt that clings to this decision.

  6. says

    I need to let go of Clay. I never thought I would be the “stupid girl”. We were together for 4 years. Part of that time he was married then separated. He dumped me 2 weeks after his divorce was final. He finally realized he didn’t want a relationship. I don’t know how many times i asked if he was sure he wanted a relationship. I feel mislead and used. I lost four years of my life waiting and waiting. I have nothing and he has everything exactly as he wants it. He also cheated on me and had a vasectomy behind my back. I still love him and would take him back in a heart beat. Why can’t I let go of this jerk?

  7. Dee says

    I opened a business that I did not do much planning for initially. I am paying rent for the space, but not making any money. It’s causing more financial heartache. So I’m going to close it. Also I was in a relationship for 2 years; I thought it was going well but I guess he did feel the same. I miss him terribly. I think it’s time to let him go.

  8. Jennifer says

    Today I am letting go of the fact that I may never become a mother. I am not letting go of hoping that, in my life, I will finally be able to adopt, but I am going to stop dwelling on it. I am wasting so much of my present time crying over the fact that I don’t have a child. I am also going to let go of wishing that I was in the past…the time when my mother was still alive. Again, I am dwelling on something and there is nothing anyone can do about it. She would want me to be happy, be strong, and live so that I may enjoy things in the present. I am also going to try to let go of the fact that my brother and sister simply don’t care about me. Again, there is nothing I can do about it, so it is time to move on and stop letting that affect my present and making my heart break. Thank you!

  9. Deez says

    I have to let go of my girlfriend. She’s always running away and blocking me on everything and then wanna work things out. The same cycle has been repeating for the past 1 year. I really can’t do this anymore. I’m just gonna concentrate on my work and build it up!

  10. Tara says

    I have to let go of the man I fell in love with 3 years ago. Our relationship has never been solid. I found out last summer that he has been in love with a married woman for many years. I asked him to cut communication with her but he refuses, saying she is his friend. This is so disrespectful to me. Whenever I express how I feel he gives me the silent treatment for a week or more. I am always wondering if they are talking, as she lives across the country now. I’m constantly feeling insecure and yet my love for him seems to grow stronger all the time. Or maybe it’s just my love for what I wish we could be, not what we are.

    • Amber says

      OMG !!!!! put the love and respect back into yourself .. he can’t be trusted and never will , please don’t waste anymore of your life trying to change him and wanting and needing him to respect you … pull away… it hurts … but run a mile . I have come out of a 19 year relationship , I loved him sooooo much I would have done anything for him, but bit by bit over the years he has shattered me into little pieces and I am now in the process of putting myself back together again, when someone is telling you that you are their soul mate and how much they love you in between being cruel and messing with your head and emotions its time to go your own way.. honestly .. it took me years to pluck up the courage to do it .. no one can hurt you unless you let them, its because we have made their behaviour acceptable why they carry on doing it. What would you be saying to a friend if it was happening to them? then there’s your answer.

      Please don’t think I am being harsh here because that is not the intention . I had to give myself a big kick up the butt, and with the help of the police I broke away, and yes it hurts like I never want to feel again, but y’know it doesn’t hurt anymore than being with him. I am learning to love myself. AND today is the last day I will ever smoke again. I am not brave .. not at all .. but I know whats good for me and whats not and by smoking I am doing exactly what he used to do to me and I am not going to carry on abusing myself.

      I am sending you the biggest hug ((((((((((big hug)))))))))))

      Take control back of your life and your emotions. You are worth it.

  11. lavi says

    I need to let go of my goal to get promoted since my superiors are making it so difficult for me to achieve my goal.The feeling is heartbreaking but I need to let go because the stress of asking for the promotion every year and getting reasons why I.am not good enough is really stressful.I am really angry with my superiors and will remember them till the day I die but it won’t make any difference to my life if I won’t let go.So I shall let go and do something else to ease my anxiety.

  12. Luke says

    I need to let go of my ex wife. I changed so much for her that I started to forget who I was. There was no compromising from her end at all. It became an unhealthy marriage. I know I am not perfect and I make mistakes but nothing was bad enough for a divorce. I felt like a prisoner in our home. Now that we are divorce I miss having her with me. I know she wasn’t good for me. I just put so much effort into it. She never trusted me nor gave me my own space. I never cheated on her and I never had feeling for another woman. I was 100% in love with her. I am going to stay single for awhile now because it’s so much easier and it gives me time to find myself once more.

  13. Caitlin says

    I am going to let go of my (ex) boyfriend. I was, and still kind of am, really in love with him. Things started out great, we had a deep connection. But things changed and went downhill. He always said he wouldn’t lie or cheat but he lied to me many times, and might have cheated on me too, although he always says he hasn’t. He moved out of the apartment we shared together before the lease was up, not saying a word to me..and he told me to get out of his life at one point, so I tried. I ignored his text (he sent me only one a week after he told me to get out of his life saying he knows he doesn’t deserve me) and then a week after that he sent another saying “wow” and that’s it. I was about to block him on Facebook and finally move on when I got that text but I decided to respond. Ever since then it has been so confusing and difficult. We have seen each other and have had sex recently, but every time he leaves my apartment I feel sad. He can go all day without talking to me now which never would have happened at the start of the relationship. I know I need to let him go but it’s just so so hard. It doesn’t help that he is very charming and adorable too..I also get lonely because I live alone now (although I am in a new city) so I want to reach out to him when that happens, especially at night…*sigh* any words of advice would be helpful :)

  14. MarianB says

    I have to let go of someone who always lead me on. I dont know why i want to stay in a one sided relationship . he never see my value he never share himself what he see in me is a slut he can call if he needed one and im readily gave my everything even leveling myself at the lowest. i may not have much im considered old . no one will want to marry a 40 year old divorcee with 4 kids. or even love me for who i am. im done giving when for him its just a cheap sex. i cant say i have to value myself coz i got nothing left to brag i destroyed myself bec of love for him. whats left is the little hope i will someday rebuild myself and be a good mom to my kids. i have to let go of the fact that there is someone out there who will be my equal in terms of loving and giving. coz in reality theres none. reality bites.

  15. Liya says

    Today, I will try my best to start letting go of my feelings towards my friend. We are lovers and friends but I know that there’s no hope for both of us to be together in the future. Just thinking about letting him go makes me cry but I know that I have to do it for my own sanity.

  16. Vivian says

    Need to let go of a friend I really love and care about. It’s toxic. It paralyzes me in all areas of my life because I linger and obsess over it. It’s worse because they still try to contact me. I have to make daily conscience decisions to stick to my guns. I miss her so much sometimes my urge To contact her gets in the way. But what it really is, is that it’s a cycle. I think it’s familiar and comfortable but when that wears off, it’s sadness, disappointment and regret that lingers. The core problem is that she does not respect me and has no boundaries. I feel devalued. It makes me feel stuck but I’m ready to let it go. I want to live again! And I need the cord cut.

  17. Pauline says

    I have to finally let go of a guy whom I’ve been seeing for 6months. He is only a year younger than me but the idea always bothered me. He also just completed high school and by the time he gets to freshman year I’ll have graduated from college. I tried holding on through out the six months hoping that maybe I’ll put that aside but everytime I think about us I don’t see a possible future. I need someone who I feel comfortable with. Letting go of this younger guy is the first step.

  18. Andrea says

    I need to let go that I was sexually abused as a child. I will never forget, but I deserve better than being hurt because of what was done to me. I am so sick being still so hurt because of it, because of how my first time was taken from me by force.
    I need to let go of my fear of men and love. If I don’t, no one will ever love me.
    I need to let go of the fear of not being loved for who I am and letting go of the fear of being hurt.
    I need to let go that my parents didn’t give me the love I needed as a child.
    I need to let go that I was bullied for most of my life.
    I need to let go of my ex, let go of the hurt when he gave up on us and when he broke up with me. In the end I meant nothing to him or else he would have moved in with me, like he said he wanted to. Need to let go of the lie that he loved me and that we’d be together forever. Need to let go that I wasn’t worth his time in the end anymore.

  19. Daniela Colorado says

    I need to let go of a toxic relationship of three years. We were engaged at one point and sort of rushed into things. Verbal, emotional and physical abuse took place but I still held on to that little bit of faith that we were going to get better. He was the first one I gave my all to and I got carried away and lived in a dream where what I wanted to happen wasn’t going to happen at all.
    It’s hard; it’s taken me 6 months to get over it and now; I am finally doing it. I deserve to be happy.

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