post written by: Marc Chernoff

18 Ways You’re Making Your Life Harder Than It Has To Be


18 Ways You’re Making Your Life Harder Than It Has To Be

Life is not complex.  We are complex.  Life is simple,
and the simple thing is the right thing.
―Oscar Wilde

When we were young life was easier, right?  I know sometimes it seems that way.  But the truth is life still is easy.  It always will be.  The only difference is we’re older, and the older we get, the harder we make things for ourselves.

You see, when we were young we saw the world through simple, hopeful eyes.  We knew what we wanted and we had no biases or concealed agendas.  We liked people who smiled.  We avoided people who frowned.  We ate when we were hungry, drank when we were thirsty, and slept when we were tired.

As we grew older our minds became gradually disillusioned by negative external influences.  At some point we began to hesitate and question our instincts.  When a new obstacle or growing pain arose, we stumbled and fell down.  This happened several times.  Eventually we decided we didn’t want to fall again, but rather than solving the problem that caused us to fall, we avoided it all together.

As a result, we ate comfort food and drank alcohol to numb our wounds and fill our voids.  We worked late nights on purpose to avoid unresolved conflicts at home.  We started holding grudges, playing mind games, and subtly deceiving others and ourselves to get ahead.  And when it didn’t work out, we lived above our means, used lies to cover up lies, and ate and drank some more just to make ourselves feel better again.

Over the course of time, we made our lives harder and harder, and we started losing touch with who we really are and what we really need.

If you’re nodding your head, here are some ways you’re likely making your life harder than it has to be, and some ideas on simplifying things:

  1. You look to everyone else for the answers only you can give yourself. – For much of our lives – especially at the beginning – we get told what do, how to think, what looks good, what “success” is, etc.  You don’t have to buy into any of it anymore.  Feel free to peel back the layers.  Think for yourself.  Listen to your Self.  Break the mold.  When you stop doing what everybody else wants you to do and start following your own intuition, you will find exactly what you are looking for.
  2. You let others make you feel guilty for living your life. – As long as you’re not hurting anyone else, keep living your life YOUR way.  Sometimes we get lost in trying to live for someone else, trying to meet their expectations, and doing things just to impress them.  Take a moment and think about it.  Are you doing things because you truly believe in them?  Remember your own goals.  Live, do and love so that you are happy, because when it comes down to it, relationships can end in an instant, but you will live with yourself for the rest of your life.
  3. You allow toxic people to get the best of you. – You don’t ever have to feel guilty about removing toxic people from your life.  It doesn’t matter whether someone is a relative, romantic interest, colleague, childhood friend or a new acquaintance.  You don’t have to make room for people who cause you pain or make you feel small.  It’s one thing if a person owns up to their behavior and makes an effort to change.  But if a person disregards your feelings, ignores your boundaries and continues to treat you in a harmful way, they need to go.  (Read Toxic People.)
  4. You are part of the drama circle. – How would your life be different if you walked away from drama, gossip and verbal defamation?  Let today be the day you speak only about the good you know of other people and encourage others to do the same.  Those that refuse to support you CAN be ignored by you.  It’s as simple as that.  Incredible things happen when you distance yourself from negativity and those who create it.  Don’t get caught up in drama.  Just walk on by.
  5. You assign negative intent to other people’s actions. – Another driver cut you off in traffic.  Your friend never texted you back.  Your colleague went to lunch without you.  Everyone can find a reason to be offended on a daily basis.  So what caused you to be offended?  You assigned negative intent to these otherwise innocent actions.  You took it as a personal insult – a slap in the face.  Don’t do this to yourself.  Don’t take things personally.  Don’t assign negative intent to the unintentional actions of others.  Let today be the day you look for the good in everyone you meet.
  6. You are too worried that people will steal what you have. – Let this be your wake-up call, especially if you’re an artist, writer, entrepreneur or creative type: There is always more to be gained from sharing knowledge than from hoarding it.  Don’t worry about people stealing your work; worry about the moment they stop.  Be honest, helpful and undeniably good at what you do.  No clever marketing scheme, social media buzzword, or competitor can be a substitute for that, ever.  Whenever people want what you have, regardless of the circumstances, you’re doing it right.
  7. You’re trying to compete with everyone else. – If you compete with everyone else, you will become bitter.  If you compete with a previous version of yourself, you will become better.  It’s as simple as that.
  8. You have been too much of a taker. – One way to deal with stress and loss is to immerse yourself in doing good for others.  Volunteer.  Get involved in life.  It doesn’t even have to be a big, structured event.  Say a kind word.  Encourage someone nearby.  Pay a visit to someone who is alone.  Get away from your self-preoccupation for a while.  When it comes down to it, there are two types of people in this world.  There are givers and there are takers.  Givers are happy.  Takers are still unhappily wondering what’s in it for them.
  9. You focus on popularity over effectiveness. – Seek respect, not attention.  It lasts longer and it’s far more useful in the end.  Do things and build things that make a lasting difference.  And above all, never confuse popularity with effectiveness.  Being popular means you’re liked for a while.  Being effective means you’ve made a difference.
  10. You keep cutting corners and taking the easy way out. – Do what is right, not what is easy.  And do the right thing even if no one else will ever know.  Why?  Because YOU will know.
  11. You focus on every point in time other than now. – You can’t change yesterday, but you can ruin today by worrying about tomorrow.  Be present.  Tomorrow will reveal itself exactly as it should, just as yesterday already has.
  12. You are stuck on your mistakes. – It’s important that we forgive ourselves for making mistakes.  We need to learn from our errors and move forward.  Make a pact with yourself today to not be defined by your past.  Sometimes the greatest thing to come out of all your hard work isn’t what you get for it, but what you learn from it.  A happy, successful life, after all, is not a life absent of problems, but one that’s been able to rise above them.  (Angel and I discuss this in detail in the “Adversity” chapter of 1,000 Little Things Happy, Successful People Do Differently.)
  13. You have an “all or nothing” mentality. – There’s no such thing as perfect success, just as there’s no such thing as perfect failure.  This is why labeling things in extremes – all or nothing – success or failure – is an exercise in futility.  What does exist, however, is a continuous series of imperfect moments filled with infinite possibilities and opportunities.  Appreciate the grey area between the extremes – the journey – the experiences.  And above all, never let success get to your head or failure get to your heart.
  14. You expect life to always be happy. – The world can be a difficult place.  You may experience suffering, heartbreak and loss.  These circumstances can take a toll on your happiness, but do not lose hope.  Think about the Yin and Yang in Chinese philosophy, which states that opposite forces are often interconnected.  In suffering, you can find great strength, in heartbreak you can find resilience, and in loss you can find a renewed appreciation for life.  Life is always Yin and Yang.  Opposites are interdependent and interconnected.  You can’t completely shield yourself from sadness without also shielding yourself from happiness.
  15. You keep thinking about worst-case scenarios. - Sometimes your mind unnecessarily wrestles with events that aren’t even remotely likely.  Your sore throat is life threatening.  Your lost driver’s license fell into the hands of a miscreant looking to steal your identity.  Negativity like this only breeds more negativity.  It’s a happiness riptide.  It will carry you away from shore, and if you don’t swim away it will pull you under.  The bottom line is that you can see the world through a lens of doubt and despair or hope and excitement.  It’s your choice.  Either way, you will someday arrive at the same destination.  The only question is: Do you want to arrive with a frown or a smile?
  16. You’re letting loss devour you. – Sometimes you have to work at happiness.  Some hurdles in life are too difficult to clear simply by adopting a positive mindset.  Do you need to forgive someone?  Do you need to let go of a failed relationship?  Do you need to come to terms with the death of a loved one?  Life is full of loss.  But, in a sense, true happiness would not be possible without it.  It helps us appreciate the good times.  It helps us grow.  If you’re struggling to see the light, you’re not alone.  Find someone who understands and talk to them.  Reach out for support.  Don’t let loss devour you.  (Read Second Firsts.)
  17. You avoid facing the truth. – The truth does not cease to exist when it is ignored.  You cannot find peace by avoiding things.  You have to feel it to heal it.  Bring your fears and weaknesses front and center and shine a blazing spotlight on them.  Because the only way out is through.  The pain of facing the truth is SO worth it in the long run, I swear.
  18. You put off making decisions. – Bad decisions are almost always better than no decisions at all.  Indecisiveness just delays, while bad decisions teach us to yield better ones.  In the end, we most often regret the chances we didn’t take, the relationships we were afraid to have, and the decisions we waited too long to make.

Your turn…

As you know, when we stop doing the wrong things and start doing the right things, life gets easier.  It just makes sense.  So how have you been making your life harder than it has to be?   What can you do today to simplify things?  Leave a comment below and let us know.

Photo by: Jenny Kaczorowski

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46 Comments

  • Making life easier, to me, is about getting rid of some of life’s complexities so you can spend more time with people you love and do more of the things you love (something I know you talk about in your book and in other blog posts). Some people just don’t realize how much they give up when they live in a world that’s overly complicated and filled with clutter (both mental and physical). Taking time to simplify things can save so much time; and some sanity as well. Organization isn’t about perfection; it’s about efficiency, reducing stress and clutter, saving time and money and improving your overall quality of life.

  • A truly helpful post. Thank you. We all get used to being and living a certain way. And doing so sometimes feels like an exhausting undertaking… But it gradually becomes obvious to anyone reading this that there is a way to look at life in a better light.

  • This is an awesome post. I have been making my life harder through inaction and lack of appreciation. I haven’t acted on what I truly want and I don’t appreciate what I have. This will change today!

  • Great reminders. So often we forget that the core meaning of life is just to be alive and aware in the present moment. It’s so plain and so obvious and so simple. There’s nothing hard about it. And yet, so many of us continuously rush around in a great panic as if it were necessary to achieve something beyond ourselves in another time and place.

    BTW, I’m loving your book. It provides a needed dose of inspiration whenever I pick it up and read a page or three.

  • This is a really nice way to see things. Sometimes without knowing it we look at things too pessimistically.

    Thanks for these positive reminders.

  • I struggle with many of the points you’ve mentioned here, and I know it’s why I am so unhappy. Time to make some changes.

  • I like the third point the most, about not letting toxic people to get to you. Excellent advice.

  • I wasn’t saying what I wanted to. I let other people decide what to think about my family, what should I do, what I shouldn’t do. I’ve made a lot of mistakes, lost a lot of things and people who I will never be able to get back. Now, I need to face the truth and never ever let other people tell what to think about MY life.

  • A great list of things everyone needs to be reminded of every once in a while! I definitely need to focus more on number 18 - I’ve let inaction dominate my life far too much in the past!

  • I especially love #4. It’s something I really strive towards at work, even more now that I’m the head supervisor. Someone needs to stay above the fray.

  • Hey Marc and Angel,

    I did see my past self in your post today. I used to stay later at the office to avoid coming home to a relationship that wasn’t healthy, and overate - not realizing how I was contributing to my own misery by not taking a scary step. I also used to intentionally make things harder for myself as a kid - my reasoning being that if “Life is Hard” (what I believed), then I’d better really challenge myself, so I was going to be ready to face the next up-hill trial that was awaiting me sometime in the future. Maybe we could call that strategy anticipatory defensiveness?

    I’m delighted to say that is all in the past now and I’m on the pleasure path - letting my choices flow from my heart and what truly feels good intuitively and physically. I chose to leave my 20 yr marriage, after realizing it was more masterful to create a change than to continue to accept things as they were. A very scary step - no one in my family had ever been divorced.

    A close friend’s death was my wake-up call - I realized if I wasn’t content with my life’s choices then I was responsible for making different choices, scary or not. I was no longer willing to wait and see how things turned out. I wanted to be an active role model for my daughter, then a Sr. in HS. It’s been 5 years since that turning point, and I’m happy, content, and deeply in love with Life, my new partner, my work and my lifestyle. My advice to others: Be daring - you are worth it!

    P.S. (I also am 20 pounds lighter and getting healthier by the month).

    Thank you for your inspiring, uplifting and truthful writing.

  • I needed this today. 5, 9, 15 and 18 are reminders I’d love to hang up at my workplace.

  • Another great list! I particularly like number 7. I was in a dance class at the weekend, wondering whether I was better than the other guy, who is tall and prince-like, whereas I am short and cheeky, and I said to myself “Why am I feeling competitive? I don’t want to feel competitive, I want to be enjoying this: my dancing, his dancing, everyone’s dancing.” I think it’s some kind of basic instinct to compete, but I don’t like it. I love your way of channelling the energy into oneself. I shall remember that one the next time I’m at the barre. I have an unhealthy (not to mention exhausting and demoralising) habit of looking around a lot and making unhelpful comparisons, and this happens in life not just in dance classes. This “competing with a previous version of myself” may break that habit. I am sure it will, if I let it, so here goes…

  • Rhonda Thompson
    July 28th, 2014 at 8:51 am

    Your website is such a blessing! Keep doing what you do to encourage others!

    Thank you!

    Rhonda :-)

  • Enjoy and look forward to your blog posts so much! I appreciate the inspiration and guidance for this thing called life we’re all walking through. I especially appreciated #6. As a musician and artist, I’ll sometimes fret over putting something that I’m working on out, especially on the internet. I know that I’m so thankful though for the countless people that inspire me by putting their work out there. Thank you for the reminder!

  • I read your articles everyday. I see a part of me in everything that you all write about. Life has just changed within the last 6 months to 1 year for me. I feel so depressed about everything that I’m confused anymore. I am currently seeking counseling for the depression but all just seems so long and slow. I want to be HAPPY again or at least content with my life. I’m almost 60 yrs old and feel this is the way my life will be for the rest of my life. So weary right now. Any suggestions other than “get yourself some help”?

  • Life isn’t hard… live, love, laugh, breathe. We just want too much. Want this, be that, and all the hats and roles we take on to those goals thinking we’re professional jugglers until life says no you’re not. Only then do you realize what is actually …necessary.

  • Sometimes we have been living a life so consumed with anxiety, fear and frowning. Little we know that we just have to go the basics and take actions to make things happen and achieve happiness. Do what you need to do. Be with the people you like. Smile often. Say thank you. Work hard and leave everything to the God above.

  • Read your list today…I got divorced 5 years ago in August and I have been letting the pain from that keep me down and make me feel like I have nothing left to offer anyone. Feel like I’m only just now beginning to come out of the fog of unhappiness and low self-esteem. I haven’t wanted to feel anything bad but now I see that I really do need to talk to someone who’s also gone through this and try to find the positive side of things now. Thanks for all the good things you put out there on a daily basis to give us something good to think about.

  • I have been binge reading these posts lately. :-) I suppose that means I am at the point where I am ready to learn and grow, and I need some tools to do that. I relate in some way to all of these points, but the ones that speak to me most are 1, 2, 3 and 17. I am currently dealing with toxic/negative people who are very close to me and who - until recently- I truly depended on and thought had my best interests at heart. Facing the truth of their behavior is hard, but finding the courage to address it honestly, without making excuses for them or myself, is far harder. I am still working on it.

  • Honestly, I’m feeling better now after reading this. Thanks.

  • This article is the story of my life. I only wish I had someone to talk to. Wouldn’t that be great? But there is no one. I have never met anyone who understands me in my entire life. Never. And I am forty nine years old!

    I always struggle on alone. No friends. Nobody likes me. I am an ambivert, but swing more toward introversion than extroversion. That makes it even tougher. I get bugged when I am around people for too long, say more than a half hour. Lol. I’ve learned to keep my trap shut around people and hang in the background. I don’t belong anywhere. And, quite frankly, when I find out what some people are really all about, I am glad I don’t belong with them and don’t even want to get started.

    I get negative and go down down down. Then I have to wait for coming back up. But I have noticed that the more I read and the more I learn, the better things get. When I was younger, I didn’t handle these matters very well at all. I was angry for a long time. I had a lot of depression. I got rid of all the depression. I don’t have it anymore. Upon learning why I had it in the first place, it all went away.

    All is not lost. I have conquered a great many problems like these on my own.

    And it’s not all my fault. I am a very deep, very profound person. Most people are scared of me. The deeper I go, the more scared they get. I’m not afraid of anything, while most other people are afraid of everything.

    I know, I’m supposed to refrain from going deep at dinner parties and such other events, but going shallow is boring, so I can’t wait to get back to peace and quiet and to my own thoughts, where I can go as deep as I please. There are no evil thoughts, only evil people who refuse to think.

    But I am learning not to be so hard on myself these days. I am used to it. My childhood was like that. Lots of maltreatment and psychological abuse under the guise of “discipline”. Of course there can be no such thing. The only kind of discipline there is is self-discipline. In fact, “self-discipline” is redundant; as if there was any other kind. There isn’t.

    In looking at myself in the mirror, I never think myself handsome or ugly. I basically check to be sure that I am well groomed and I walk away. It’s a big improvement over the old days when sometimes I would put a fist through the mirror, depending on my mood. I have never understood the narcissist who stands there looking at himself in a mirror.

    I have learned that I was taught to be hard on myself. I am slowly unlearning that now, but at the same time, I do not wish to lose my ability to give myself the extra boost I need from time to time. I can be lazy sometimes. I find this unacceptable. I don’t let myself get away with that anymore, among other things I don’t allow myself anymore.

    Sometimes people make fun of me, mock me, accuse me of having “low self-esteem” or “low self-confidence”. I laugh at this. First off, it makes no sense to begin with. Secondly, I think higher of myself than anyone else. So, if it’s true that I have a “low self-esteem”, yet I think higher of myself than anyone else, where does that leave my accusers? If, as they say, I think nothing much of myself, this means there is no hope whatsoever for me to respect their opinion, or even their very existence. People need to be careful who and what they accuse. They just might be putting themselves into a potentially dangerous situation their measly wit and strength mat not be able to get them out of.

    No, what you are seeing there is not “low self-esteem”, but a mind at work. I am not a low-life, like most of my accusers, who run around refusing even to second guess themselves, trying to save face, trying to make themselves feel good all the time — even when they’re dead wrong and they know it. And what for? This “feel good” nonsense is only superficial. These people have no substance. They have accomplished nothing in life. They are afraid to be themselves, to have their own thoughts,
    feelings, and experiences. Yet they “feel good about themselves” and have high “self-esteem”. How can this be? I think it is a lie. I think it is narcissism and pseudo-self-esteem at best.

    When I am wrong, I want to know it. I want the correct facts, not the wrong ones. If I cannot admit that I am wrong, cannot second guess myself when I have made a contradiction, a mistake, then I am no good even to myself, let alone others. That is the worst and most terrifying thing there is to me, i.e., being a fake, being a fake human being. How dreadful. How deadly. I shudder at the thought of a passive, meaningless life of enjoyment, as most people seek.

    I am not afraid. I have been around the world, from the deep jungles of Asia and South America, to looking pretty girls in the eye and putting my arms around small children who have hurt feelings and/or scraped knees, orphans, and the sick, the injured, the afflicted. I am not afraid of beauty or ugliness. It is all part of our condition and part of our world. To be afraid without cause is foolery, nonsense. I have suffered some pretty cruel beatings and abuses. I only hope to be worthy of them. To have done all this suffering for nothing is also unthinkable, unacceptable. I have found the meaning of my life. That is all I ever wanted. Where to? What next? Well, I’m writing a book about it, of course!

    Just give me the facts. The rest is just noise and nonsense. Where can I find friends who know how to keep it real, passionate, and compassionate?

    Before you diagnose yourself with “low self-esteem”, first be sure to check and see you aren’t completely surrounded by rotters.

    Anyway, this is a great piece. Thank you for sharing. I am going to start to take some of this advice. I am a good boy! :-)

  • A big one for me is stop trying to control or change things that are not in your power to control or change. Doing this makes me miserable. When I’ve be able to let go, life feels so much easier.

    Another is to practice acceptance of all, as they are. Along the lines of stop trying to change things that are not in your power to change. If I expect up be accepted, then I owe it to myself and others to accept everyone as they are, not as I’d like them to be.

    Great post! Love the intro.

  • Cheryl Robertson
    July 29th, 2014 at 12:26 am

    I need to do two things.

    One: stop beating myself up when I make mistakes! Enough said.
    Two: alleviate the fear of the tasks I need to do. Like make lists, write out a budget, get organized…and on my time-frame, Not anybody elses!

  • Guys! Thank you so much for showing me a new door. I struggle so much about bad people in my life. Im always having the fear of shutting them out. But, now that i know i can do it. Its about time.

  • I’m a bit confused with a few of these points and I am wondering if someone can clarify for me:

    My issue is a toxic person (3) who DOES have negative intent for me (5) with whom I choose the ‘easy way out’(10) by being cordial to them even though they hurt me greatly over and over again. I am related to this person and it is not realistic to ‘cut them out’ of my life. If I ‘let it go’ and tell myself, the issue is ‘their’ problem and I won’t let it take up ’space’ in my life, I feel I am doing a disservice to myself because they knock my very existence over and over again. Why should I forgive them and allow them to make me a ‘nothing’? You could say they can only take up the amount of ’space’ I give them and their perception doesn’t make me a nothing, I know my own worth. However, I really struggle with letting their mean-spiritedness go…

    Your advice would be welcome.
    Thank you.

  • Hello Marc,

    Great article! I find it always really intriguing that children can play all day, live in the moment and don’t seem to have any worries.

    As soon as we transition into adult life it all of a sudden seems to get much harder.. This article is a good reminder that you can make your life more simple.

    I could really relate to the things you said about “always expecting for life to be happy” and “you allow toxic people in your life”. I was always striving for happiness, reading books and looking for a quick fix to make myself happy. Just recently I realized that it’s not a bad thing to not always be happy. It’s a part of life and especially the harder times teach you a lot about yourself and life.

    I had/have some toxic people in my life. I must admit that it’s really hard to say goodbye sometimes to people. Especially if you have known them for many years. But if the only thing they do is bring you down and don’t value you, then it’s better to remove those people from your life.

    Thanks for this inspiring article and I’m looking forward to your next article.

  • Wow! What a great post. I managed to turn this into a PDF so I can share with my loved ones who are going through this too. Thank you for all you do! ~ Ace

  • It seems to me that, if you aren’t already in a good spot, the advice to “live, do and love so that you are happy” can be the worst advice ever. This is how people justify bad decisions about affairs, out-there financial decisions, leaving well-paying jobs, etc. In the end it can be a devastating decision to others as well as yourself.

    The same is true of “removing toxic people from your life”. If these people are your children, your boss, your parents, your spouse, your siblings, a professor – it might be best to learn to deflect the poison gas that emits from them at times. The saying, “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger” can be applied here. If you must remove yourself from a relationship for a time, don’t look at it as permanent. People change. You grow, they grow, and if given a chance these toxic relationships can turn out to be the strongest, healthiest, longest-lasting relationships you’ll ever have.

    In our “instant generation” society we are sometimes way too quick to pull the plug on something that is fermenting. It looks nasty and rotten so out it goes… and we never get to the “wine” of life, always thinking the grape juice is supposed to be the end product.

  • Most all of these, but expecially #’s 1, 3, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10 13, 18 are relationship killers, too!

  • This is such a good reminder that everyone should read! I especially relate to #5,6,15
    I even just felt better after reading this article.. Thanks for sharing!

  • Man don’t I wish I could turn back the clock and redo some of my greatest unnecessary blunders. I was abandoned by family and friends; even my parents turned their back on me when I needed them most. Toxic people really have gotten the best of me. However, I am as thorough and determined as they come. I will rebuild, and I know it can happen. I just wish I realized they were gone the minute they started hating and moved on without them. It’s just that they were my family and everything I did was for them.

  • Thank you for this post. I started reading your blog 2 years ago. I recommended it to all my friends. You guys are doing more than blogging.

  • @Sara: I think this article may help you: 7 Smart Ways to Deal with Toxic People

    @Shella: Excellent point.

    @Ted: You’re a brave soul, and obviously very bright. I wonder, have you tried connecting with likeminded people at niche conferences or events dedicated to one of your passions? I find that connecting with people in this type of setting works wonders. The ice is already broken.

    @Zae: I love that sentiment. Best of luck to you.

    @All: Excellent insight, as always! Thank you for sharing your thoughts with us. We appreciate you like you can’t imagine. :)

  • No. 3 is my nemesis! Or maybe I can say with growing strength “was” my nemesis! Three weeks ago I left a highly toxic relationship that was controlling my life & am now moving forward with a new determination to be single rather than settle & to treat myself with the love & respect I share with my family friends.

  • I completely agree with the blog post, but we all love to make our life difficult because somethings in life are beautiful when they are difficult.

  • Thank you! You just opened my eyes to sooo many things I do that keep me in a state of frustration. So helpful. — Marlene Dillon, author of I’m Proud to Be Natural Me!

  • I often read your blogs and it’s actually the first time I’m leaving a comment, because number 6 is something I truly find difficult to deal with. Despite, all the benefits that come from sharing your work and all those who have shared their work in the past, I still feel that it’s a threat. It’s perfectly fine to inspire people, but there lies a fine line between imitation (stealing) and inspiration. Both the contemporary business world as well as the research world is always clouded in secrecy, because of the fact they fear others will steal their hard earned work. If you take a broader perspective you feel good that your idea is out there, but still every human wants to be appreciated for the energy and work they put in. Hence, the creation of copy-write infringement laws and the establishment of patents. If such laws weren’t in place, people will fear wasting their energy on something that someone else can just come and steal. As a person involved in research and business I’ve always struggled at the prospects of this ideology.

    I actually want to request a separate article solely on tips to deal with the dilemma of people stealing your work (In the context of a competitive dog eat dog driven market ex. pharmaceutical industries)

    I also want to say how amazing your blogs are in inspiring people to lead a healthy life and in helping people cope with the adversities of life.

    Thanks! Keep up the good work!

  • I’m wondering why some people always push their life into a difficult situation even though the problem that they encounter are only simple to solve. In our life there are different good opportunities. God is always there no matter what happen, things changed if we know how to ignore bad people. You have a good article. I really like your advices and for 18 Ways You’re Making Your Life Harder Than It Has To Be.

  • Great Advice!

  • Thank You!
    I needed this!

  • Great Blog - Many decent, hardworking and good people make their lifes miserable by comparing with others, looking for acceptance and not acepting reality. If we look around, it is amazing how smiliar we all are but we are somehow we are used to looking at the differences between us. Similarities among people are so great that we can almost neglect to look at the differences. But we try finding out whats that one thing others have and we don’t. I agree that life is always simple, rules are very straight forward but we complicate it.

  • Hi. My name is Careyse & I am 14 years old. This article was very helpful for me because being a high school student, there are alot of different types of influences. The “Drama Circle” is the most toxic of them all. Its hard to get out of and it takes alot of courage and confidence. Thank you sooooo much. Every single one of your articles help me alot especially the ones about being happy :)

  • This article by far needs to be posted everywhere! As humans, we often times make our lives harder, we are constantly getting in our own ways. It is what it is a gift and a curse of being well… human. This article resonated with me because I have always had the hardest time forgiving myself for my mistakes or well lets face it bad decisions! As well as forgiving others for the wrongs “perpetrated” or what I perceived as being perpetrated against me. I think that’s really the key here; its all about perception, nothing more, nothing less. Once we are able to conquer the unnecessary negative thoughts within our heads we have conquered the world!

  • Thanks so much for this. I think every single one on this list applies to me. This is a great reminder!

  • Thank you for sharing these wise pointers. Too often we get trapped in our thoughts with a victim mentality. These topics should be taught from a young age, especially in this digital world. Love all your articles :)

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