If you listen closely to your intuition you will always know what is “best” for you, because what is best for you is what is true for you.
Your body has five senses: sight, hearing, smell, taste, and touch. But not to be ignored are the inner senses of your soul: intuition, foresight, and self-trust. The most common differences between happy and unhappy people lie in their use of these inner senses. So many people don’t know anything about them though, while others rely on their inner senses just as they rely on their physical senses, and in fact probably even more. And this makes all the difference in the world.
The senses of your soul help you express your whole truth, and being true to yourself takes work, because it’s so easy to get sidetracked and influenced by others. It’s easy to get caught up in the drama. You have to put in the effort and stand strong every day to honor your own ideas, feelings, intuitions and aspirations.
When you add more of your self into your daily actions and decisions, your sense of self-worth (your TRUE self) blooms. That is the path to a happier, truer, more wholesome YOU.
So today, I challenge you to make this your lifelong motto: “I respectfully do not care.” Say it to anyone who passes judgment on something you strongly believe in or something that makes you who you are. People will inevitable judge you at some point anyway, and that’s OK. You affected their life; don’t let them affect yours.
This is one of many principles Angel and I cover in our brand new course, Getting Back to Happy. And today, I want to share a sneak peek with you that’s guaranteed to help you overcome the judgments and drama of others, so you can live more freely and happily as YOU.
In this unscripted video sneak peek, Angel and I discuss how important it is to embrace your intuition and express your true feelings, even in the face of adversity and harsh judgments by others. And of course, at the end we leave you with one essential question to ask yourself…
The One Question
If you enjoyed this exclusive preview of Getting Back to Happy, learn more about the course here.
And get ready to receive your personal invitation to join the new course and community on November 4th. Angel and I cannot wait to welcome you into Getting Back to Happy!
True happiness is possible. You can get there. We can help. Let’s do this, together.
Your turn…
In what way have people tried to judge you and mess with your truth?
When and how did you realize this? What did you do about it?
Please leave a comment below and share your thoughts and insights.
And of course, if you have any questions about Getting Back to Happy, let us know and Angel and I will reply as soon as we can.
J.J. says
Fantastic post and video! Thanks for sharing. So many of us need to get into the mindset of “What would I do if I were completely free of judgement?” in order to truly be free, secure and happy. The fear of what others think often stops us from being ourselves.
I cope by concentrating on my core goals and only the opinions of those who matter in my life. This is something your blog and book have helped me with over the past year. And I’m eager to read more about your new course when it’s available tomorrow.
Sandra Pawula says
I found this fascinating because I’ve never thought about intuition and these other qualities in quite this way: “…the inner senses of your soul: intuition, foresight, and self-trust.” But it makes perfect sense to hear you say this.
I think we need to also be discerning when we listen to this inner voice and ask, “Is it the voice of the ego or the voice of the true self?”
I wish you the very best with your new course.
Scott Dee says
It’s taken me nearly 60 years to stop trying to prove myself to everyone. I wasted many years of my life in tragic situations simply because I wanted to win the approval of of the wrong people.
Honestly, my most important life lesson I’ve learned is to not care what people think of me, and that I cannot please everyone no matter how hard I try. Now I have this mantra: “I am who I am, and if people can’t accept me for who I am, they can keep walking.”
BTW, I bought two copies of your book today and I can’t wait for them to arrive. I’m giving the second copy to my daughter as a gift.
Deborah says
Thank you so much for this lovely post. It’s true that we never need to carry more than you can hold; we just need to take it one day at a time. I always put myself under pressure of what others think of me. It has stopped me on many occasions from following my heart. But your words here are pushing me forward in the right direction. I will check back on the 4th to find out more about “Getting Back to Happy.” It might be just what I need.
Anonymous says
Thank you. I often have intuitive insights, but I do not always listen to them, because I feel like other people might not accept me if I do. I think that if I followed my intuition more, I might be happier.
In answer to your question, in what way have people tried to judge me and mess with my truth, I’d probably say this has happened with certain things I did or certain behaviors I’ve had. I was diagnosed with OCD a few years ago, but I do not completely see myself as having it. I feel that OCD serves as more of a category than a definitive diagnosis. It does not define you, it is only meant to help you understand what is going on with you. Still, I feel there is more to a person than exactly how he or she thinks, what his/her brain chemistry is, what he/she does, or how he/she interacts with others. There are your personal inclinations, beliefs, and intuition that make up who you are, too. I hope that more people in the future realize this. We are not just all names and labels, but people with a lot of individual strength and beauty that should be expressed in its own unique ways. Be yourself, and let the world embrace you.
Natalie says
Thanks for another great post. Your website has helped me in more ways than you know.
My biggest frustration is letting other people’s opinions get in the way of being true to myself and trusting my intuition. On top of that, I often have desires for my life that I feel are selfish and are not for the good of others. I struggle with becoming very frustrated living in my current situation and want to make changes. However, after lots of reflection I always settle come back to where I am today… feeling blessed for what I have and content with where I am at in life.
Nevertheless, it seems like it the struggle resurfaces at some point and I am riding the same roller coaster of emotions. I wonder if this is normal? What is my gut trying to say?
Kerry says
Thank you so much! This could not have come at a better time for me.
I am in the middle of separating from my husband because I have a path to follow, and it has taken a week to tell my family because I knew their reaction would be to tell me I am wrong, although actually nothing could be further from the truth.
I’ve never had such a strong calling, or such certainty that I am correct. For the first time, possibly ever, I am following my heart and listening to my intuition and stepping into my dharma.
The utter certainty I’m feeling is making the judgement easier to bear, and this really helped.
BJ says
I have a problem hearing my inner voice or that intuition anymore. I have been stuffing it back so long to remain here in a family business for My Pop, who just passed recently….and now I want to finally make changes in my life at 52 and I honestly cannot hear or feel my intuition anymore. I feel stuck and hopeless. I want to move forward in a genuine life foe “Me” and I can’t tell which direction is right. I don’t care what anyone else says…but I am worried because I don’t know what I care about now.
Kirby Bible says
This is all true, but I think there should also be a mention of God. He created your soul. You should have a personal relationship with yourself but more importantly you relationship to your creator God.
AA says
I feel this video has been made for my situation that I am currently in. I agree my intuition is so critical, but people around me are swaying me to make a decision which is hurting me and confusing me. I cannot make the correct decision, and the pressure is making me succumb to negativity which I am pulling myself out of.
My life path is my alone – but the ones I love the most like close friends and family worry about me and are only advising me as they think it is best for me. But only I know internally what makes me happy- and to push back on people you love dearly is a challenge I am going through!
Thank you for the lovely advice- I am being true to myself – if only others could realise I am struggling and would benefit from support rather than constant advice!
Nickolas says
You guys are great! That’s exactly what I needed to hear today. Have to admit I had a tear in my eye as I listened to it. I’ve been working through lots of codependency symptoms and your discussion today helped me a great deal. I think codependence isn’t just about someone’s compulsive behaviour that effects you, e.g. living with an alcoholic or some other kind of -olic, but it’s also about someone’s opinions, judgements, words and gestures that encourage you to move from your own mental path and follow theirs. As you say, digging in to protect your own integrity, come what may, would be a healthier option. I will be watching this discussion over and again until it sinks in! It’s a much-needed, heavy-duty affirmation!
Mj says
“To everything there is a season…” and I have given notice that I am retiring from a church job (music ministry as cantor) that I have held for more than 15 years, in order to spend weekends and holidays/holy days with my family – ESPECIALLY my 7 grandchildren. I am leaving at the end of the “church year” – November 22 & 23 – and have left the music director plenty of time to plan a Christmas program that is at the capability level of the choir.
I have received support and love and good wishes from the church community; my colleagues – ESPECIALLY the music director – seem to be ignoring it. And that’s OK.
It’s the “counting down” to the end date that has its moments.
But the Sunday after my last one is the First Sunday of Advent and I know that this is (as one of my friends says) the Advent of a whole new phase of my life.
I am following my heart, my intuition, my self-trust.
Kay says
I think more often it is my perception of what other may be thinking/judging that guides my decisions rather than actual judgement. I will think, “if I go the extra mile, then they will think I’m wonderful” with them not thinking I’m wonderful in the first place being the judgement I’ve given them.
RHarrisonScott says
For what it’s worth I found your latest piece a compliment to a book I read 30 years ago by Betty Edwards – Drawing on the Right Side of the Brain. In it she explains the nature of left and right brain thinking. Those who are driven by the expectations of others (who themselves are driven by the expectations of others) are dominated by their left brains and, as a result, devote their lives to mindless compliance. The right brained – artists, creative thinkers, explorers and truth seekers – take the left brain’s input with a grain of salt. This being said, the idea that one should devote one’s life to an abandonment of judgment is give up the right to think. The left brain does serve a useful purpose in that it prevents us from living a life of reckless abandon.
Diana says
Another great post. I wanted to thank Kerry on her post. It inspired me to seek dharma and let go of the drama around me. Dharma — not Drama.
june says
Recently judged massively as inept by someone with a lot of input into my life at the moment and at present I feel so overwhelmed by their lack of compassion. I was exhausted and overwhelmed by the whole thing before even encountering this person and so I have dealt with it by becoming very depressed and lethargic. My feelings are so hurt and I am so drained by the experience all I feel capable of is to hold on until this surge of negativity rolls past. I wish I understood why I am even in this position and how to move to where I want to be.
I admire your partnership and and the work you do together very much. Thanks!
The Silent Knight says
The part of the video where you talked about the friend who worried about what her friends would think. I am like that constantly, I know it is wrong often, but I have trouble seeing any other way to cope with situations. As a way to look at it from an outside perspective, I’ve started writing short stories about a character who epitomizes this behavior.
Her name is Sammy Cuble and she has both the powers of shape-shifting and Telepathy, although no one knows she can read minds. Because she is able to see so clearly what people are thinking and how they will react, she always tells them only what will make them happy. Literally shifting her true self to fit how they want her. The shape-shifting is a bit of a metaphors for that.
I have been surprised how much of a life Sammy has taken on. I can completely relate to her, yet I am never sure what she is to do. On the more scary side, I have noticed that she has begun being manipulate and a bully to some of the people around her. Tricking and twisting them to make sure they don’t cause upsetting around her. It is a sobering mirror to look in to.
I will try to take your advice, but I honestly have to say I don’t trust ‘following your intuition’. I have been raised with a mindset that is much more “Live by careful choice, never chance”.
Great video and thoughts!
Adaku says
Hello Marc and Angel, you may not know this but you have readers all over including Nigeria. I’m a long time reader albeit a first commenter and I’ll use this opportunity to say that I absolutely love your blog. It has helped me through so many hurdles in life and I appreciate. Also, ill like to say that the new video format is nice but not everyone can watch conveniently. It would be nice to have transcripts back too. Thanks.
Heather says
WOW – this post couldn’t be more timely – last night I literally had a sort of ‘epiphany’ as to why I am feeling anxious in life… It’s because I haven’t been creative in FOREVER, and that is ME (relating to this post.. talking about being true to yourself), so I made a deal with myself that I was going to ‘listen’ to what I needed more, and get a creative outlet again so that I can feel more like myself. Then today I get this post in my Inbox 😀 So thank you!
TH says
Thank you for sharing this information and I really enjoyed your post and I am very interested in your courses. Many people and myself included really needed this hear this information it is truly inspiring and motivating. I loved it. I think it is hard sometimes when those closest to you are the ones passing judgments on you and you want so much to please them and your filled with such disappointment because you haven’t lived up to their expectations and at the same time resentment because you are not really being true to yourself. For me this has been like me losing myself and trying to redefine and reinvent myself over and over again throughout my life and just focus on what truly matters and what’s really important while trying my best to be patient with others when they pass their judgments because I know they mean well most of the time. I just take it one day at a time and remember I’m still learning and life is a learning process where you learn and grow and learn and grow some more until you get to where you are meant to be!
Marian says
I read your blog several times, once I receive it. I am going through a faze in my life where I am coming back to me. I am being strong as I work my way through the drama. Its not my drama, so all I can do is be strong and true to myself. I can’t suggest or advise anyone but myself. There will be a time when I need to walk away, but until them, I am learning about myself and my strength in this situation.
Thank you for your insight on life.
Yours Truly,
Marian
Donna says
I struggle with a family situation where I am providing child care for my 2 month old grandson. Daughter in Law had hands and arms full the other day and I opened the door for her and she thought I disrespected her by “kicking her out of her own apartment”. She has made a drama of this and in my opinion respect is a 2 way street, and she is showing me none. Things said now will affect lives and relationships for years to come, in this the early life of the baby.
Thank you for the post..it has been helpful. I have to face her tomorrow and can only hope that she has had time alone with her thoughts and realizes that I am not the enemy.
Jo says
So true!
Thanks for a great post/video.
I have spent my life living it for other people and not being true to myself. Not because I wanted to but because it was how I was brought up. And a lot of women have been raised in this way – in the past.
Now, at the age of 41, I am moving to the other side of the world…back to my home country a different person and with the intention to live my life exactly how I want to. It has been quite a journey, this life so far, but the whole thing (I have realised) has been about getting back to me. Finding out who I am, what I want and where I want to be. This is a very important lesson – to learn to follow yourself and not others and so many of us spend our lives like lemmings…following the crowd.
Christina says
Due to some stupidity on my part, 15 years ago I made the decision to leave my husband and get a divorce. We had been married for 25 years, and our marriage had become routine and boring. Nine and a half years later, I made the decision to ask him if we could give it another try. He had been waiting all of this time for me to come to my senses and was ecstatic when I asked for a second chance. Needless to say, very few people outside of our close family believed that he should “take me back.” He asked the minister who married us the first time — who was a good friend of his — to do our ceremony, but he refused. Many of his friends were certain that I would hurt him and that he would be sorry he married me again. However, my husband and I KNEW that this was the right decision for us, and we went ahead with it, regardless of how other people perceived the situation. We have been married for five years now, and it has been the best five years of our lives together. This marriage is so much better than our first marriage, and we are thankful that God brought us back together. I don’t know what those naysayers are saying now, but I am so glad my husband did not listen to them. I used to care what others thought and would listen to them and make decisions based on what they said. However, after going through this situation and many more in my life, I have learned to close my ears to the outside world and listen only to my heart and to my God. After all, who else knows what will make me truly happy?
Tshepo says
You guys have changed lives all over the world. I am one of them.
sherill says
Hi, this is really awesome, whether we do good or bad things, people will still judge us, so why worry about it. Do not live up to the expectations of other people, instead, live your life the way you want it, a life that will make you happy, listen to your heart, be strong and your intuitions will guide you through. Thanks for sharing another great and informative article.
Vernon says
Wow. I suffer from that. Worrying what other people think of me. Thanks for this post.
Mary Brady says
Am currently reading The Gift of Fear by Gavin de Becker. (Don’t take my word for how good this book is, just read the reviews on Goodreads). As I skimmed through the above comments, I saw that so many of you have concerns following your intuition and with wanting others to “like” you. You owe it to yourselves and those you love to read Mr. de Becker’s book. It could literally save your life.
Nqobile says
You guys have changed so many lives here including mine!! Thank you so very much.
patricia says
I am so glad I came across your site. It really has added more value into my life and put me into a better position to respond to those people who are always trying to control one’s life and find faults in the constructive paths that one may decide to take for the betterment of their lives or in order to ensure that one is in a better position to realise their dreams. I have come to accept that not every one will love you or accept the way you conduct your personal life. And that is okay. I have also come to realise that some people may not love you the way you love them, but does not make you the bad guy. What you can do is to stay away from such people but forgive them for their deeds and move on. Out there God has someone who will love you and cherish you the way you do to them. Keep up the good work and God bless you always.
jen R says
How much of my time have I spent worrying about what other people think of me? Too much is the short answer. The first fifty years of my life I had no boundaries, no sense of self, and how I felt about myself and my life was largely determined by whether or not you approved. With no internal awareness, other people’s likes and dislikes, moods and opinions were the compass I used to direct my emotional life. It was exhausting!!!
“Put down the magnifying glass and pick up the mirror.” One of the most precious gifts I have learned is the freedom and encouragement to discover and validate my feelings. And this process began when I was taught to take the focus off of others and to look within for my own truth. At first this was an unfamiliar and uncomfortable process, but it was the only path to the security, confidence and peace I have always craved.
Today I know that my feelings are valid, and I’ve come to trust and rely on them. I know that other people have their own thoughts and opinions and know they are valid for them as well. But today there is a boundary between the two, and my sense of self is no longer linked to other people’s approval. Today I enjoy the freedom and empowerment that comes from having and respecting myself.
Love and Respect, jenR.