They say having children changes everything. While it’s unquestionably a remarkable time in one’s life, I can also see how the transition introduces obvious limitations. Suddenly you have dependent beings of life to care for. Responsibility kicks in, compelling you to dedicate a significant portion of your time and attention to the best interests of the little ones. Combine this with the obvious physical and lifestyle limitations that come with age and it seems to me that there are several activities to check off the bucket list before settling down to start a family.
Here’s our list of 70 things to do before having children. For us, it’s simply about conquering as many life experiences as possible. We’re not quite there yet, but we’re getting closer. 😉
- Live in a high rise condo with an amazing view.
- Take a month long vacation on the opposite side of the world in a city with a completely different culture.
- Attend the Super Bowl live.
- Jump out of a perfectly good airplane.
- Make love in places you aren’t supposed to.
- Swim with the sharks.
- Scuba-dive to a large ship wreck.
- Audition to be on TV or in a movie… even if you’re just an extra.
- Throw the house party of all house parties. Supply all the booze and invite everyone you know.
- Take sexy photos of yourself (keep them somewhere safe).
- Learn to fly a plane.
- Become skilled with a musical instrument.
- Live in southern California for at least a year.
- Live in the heart of New York City, Chicago, Boston or another major city for at least a year.
- Spend a few weeks vacationing on the beaches of Kauai with your partner.
- Surf a Hawaiian wave.
- Learn to speak a foreign language.
- Visit the North Pole.
- Attend The Tonight Show or The Late Show as an audience member.
- Read at least 30 books.
- Jump off a cliff into a natural body of water in an exotic location.
- Go mountain climbing.
- Go deep sea fishing and learn to filet and cook your own fish.
- Go horseback riding on the beach with your partner.
- Drink warm beer out of a barrel in a real Irish pub.
- Spend a night pub-hopping in London.
- Stage dive and crowd surf at a rock concert.
- Take a set amount of money and hit the Blackjack and Craps tables in Las Vegas.
- Visit a high-end Las Vegas strip club.
- Embark on a month-long road trip across the country with 3 of your best friends.
- Ride a camel across a sandy desert.
- Go white water rafting.
- Go snowboarding in the Rockies.
- Get in great shape and enter some kind of fitness competition.
- Attain a solid understanding of how the government works in your country.
- Master one particular style of dance.
- Fall in love.
- Write a book… even if it’s short and never gets published.
- Drive through a (somewhat safe) portion of a third world country like Mexico or Costa Rica to gain perspective on what true poverty looks like.
- Go skinny dipping in a large body of water at midnight.
- Take a shower under a waterfall.
- Decide on your current life goals and write them down.
- Spend New Years Eve in Times Square.
- Go on a blind date (or a couple’s dinner date with new friends you hardly know).
- Sleep on the beach under the stars in Key West.
- Hit up Oktoberfest in Munich.
- Hit up Mardi Gras in New Orleans.
- Hit up Carnival in Rio de Janeiro.
- Experience Spring Break in all its glory in Cancun, Mexico or Panama City Beach, Florida.
- Catch a ride in a hot air balloon.
- Rent a fast sports car and speed down the Autobahn.
- Switch jobs until you find one you truly enjoy.
- Buy your first house.
- Own a convertible sports car.
- Hike the Grand Canyon.
- Attend a Red Sox vs. Yankees game in Fenway Park.
- Spend a whole day making love without every leaving the house.
- Learn to make one mixed cocktail like a pro bartender.
- Run a marathon.
- Stand up in front of a large audience and tell a great joke.
- Shoot a gun.
- Swim across the English Channel.
- Bicycle ride down a mountain road.
- Learn to sail a sailboat.
- Learn the basics of a martial art.
- Visit the Amazon Rainforest.
- Bare all on a nude beach.
- Master one really cool magic trick.
- Master a few fancy dinner recipes.
- Finish up your formal education (but continue learning).
What’s on your list?
Also, check out these books for more awesome bucket list ideas:
- This Book Will Change Your Life
- 2Do Before I Die: The Do-It-Yourself Guide to the Rest of Your Life
- 100 Things to Do Before You Die: Travel Events You Just Can’t Miss
Photo by: Dawvon
Christina says
It’s definitely important to construct your own kind of list. I personally am “childfree,” which means I plan to never have children. I must say I do agree with one poster who said that you should be mature and financially responsible before you have kids. If this truly is a list for people who intend to one day have children, rather than a list for people who never will, then those two items are absolutely essential. Parenthood is not something that should be stepped into lightly, as it so often is.
TheChaos92 says
#71. have unprotected sex xD
OnionUnion says
Honestly, tired of all these USA-centric lists… Outside the US nobody really cares about baseball, the Rockies, Vegas, California, New Orleans, Times Square, Super Bowl, Spring break or whatever the american referenced imagery you use here…
I think that the list gets better with things that really contribute to improvements on your character, like learn an instrument, continue learning, or shower in a waterfall, or just travel
OnionUnion says
now i realized that the comment is “awaiting moderation”.. i’m almost sure that it won’t make the webpage, i can put my money on that, ehe..
cheers
Mary says
I disagree that kids make doing many of these things more complicated. Kids are portable, flexible and resilient. Not to mention, they love “adventure.” Of course, I’ve been a mom since I was 18, so everything I’ve done for the past 17 years has been “with children” whether I liked it or not.
Still, I’ve done quite a few of the things on this list (many don’t interest me at all). My daughter and I learned Japanese together. We’ll be going “to the other side of the world” for a month next year.
Granted, a few of these I’ve done without kids present. But it wasn’t the least bit complicated.
Guess I’ll never understand why so many people feel children are an obstacle to doing what they want most in life. I refuse to For me, my children have been the reason to do those things….and my best cheerleaders. As I am theirs.
t5 says
BETTER YET! NEVER, NEVER EVER, PLEASE NEVER NEVER NEVER HAVE CHILDEREN. It is the end of life, please, do yourself a favor and live. Your animal self no longer has to worry about the survival of the species. Let your instincts flow with the new generation and free yourself from the tyranny of childbirth.
Wendy says
hmmm…… We did some of those with our kids. All 3 of them to be exact.
Never slowed us down in the least bit. In fact I think it gave the child’s view of how they felt, saw things.
You know seeing things thru kids eyes again. We took them most places and never felt tied down in the least bit.
Amazing what you can see and learn on vacation. Without the kids knowing they are learning
William Bay says
I’ve done these. 24 out of 70 isn’t too bad.
I’ve also got stuff like climb to Everest Base Camp, Kayak the Yangtse from the source before they flood it and drive a motorcycle from Singapore to Ireland…
2 – One year in Thailand
5 – (Like in the back of a VW?)
8 – I was Blackbeard the Pirate
9
10
12 – I play the Bass and a little guitar
13 – 619, Baby!
17 – Spanish and Thai
21
22
27
37
39
40
41
44
53
57
58
60
61
63
65
69
Fun list!!!
CJ says
If you had you children young enough, you can do these things after the kids are grown and gone.
I’m 42 and my youngest child is 17. I am not yet too old to do any of this stuff.
I thought about whether I would have had a better life if I had waited to have children and I decided a long time ago that I would rather be “free” in my 40s when my career is established and I have the financial resources to do what I want and the maturity to really appreciate what I do for myself. I don’t think you can really appreciate taking care of you until you have sacrificed for others, whether they be your children or not.
MITBeta @ Don't Feed The Alligators says
It sounds like you’re not interested in having kids. A list like this will take a typical person a lifetime to complete.
I envy anyone who can accomplish everything on this list, but as a parent my biggest regret is not getting started earlier even though the situation may not have been perfect. It isn’t now, and probably never will be, but I love being a dad…
Britt says
Having kids is not the end of the world; it’s the beginning of a whole new life, full of more experiences, happiness and perspective than you could ever possibly get from completing everything on that list.
Janette says
“Spend a whole day making love without every leaving the house.”
Well, shouldn’t this be at the end of the list to make sure you don’t have kids before accomplishing the rest?
This list is kind of lame. Owning a specific car?!?! Ummm yeah not everyone likes cars, nor will owning one make any significant impact on your life experience like reading books or traveling would.
I do agree with telling a joke in front of a crowd. Stand-up comedy is a huge rush.
liz says
Wow, I wonder how many millions of dollars(and months of unpaid unemployment) it would take to complete about half these things?
Is “travel the world” really a unique, insightful, or even possible suggestion for anyone who isn’t Bill Gates?
so says
good ideas! it is a shame though, that you need a lot of money to do half of them 🙂
Corajudd says
#20: Read at least 30 books.
If the number was “1000 books” it would be a challenge worthy of your list, but THIRTY? When I was done with my whopping 30 books and ready for marriage, what sort of person would find me interesting for that accomplishment???
Lu says
I agree that this is a “made of money” list but the basic ideas are good (i.e. you should jump off a cliff into some water, but it’s okay if it is at a lake two hours from your house and not in some exotic country).
And you can do SO much of this post-kiddos.
This discussion has also reminded me why I enjoy some parenting blogs (Simple mom) and not other blogs (livsimple). While Simple mom might be a Christian it I never feel judged by comments like “you should be married before you have kids.” That statement when applied to someone other than yourself and your personal choices is hurtful and, in my opinion, not even true. You do not have to be married before you have children to have a happy family. Some people (gay, lesbian) cannot even get married.
That being said if I would enjoy living a life where your family is not constantly judged before you have children (in my case, little bastard children born out of wedlock).
Kate says
I think a lot of people are misunderstanding the true purpose of this list. In my opinion, this list is some ideas of what you might want to try before you have kids. Not because you can’t do them when you have kids (you can), but because you will want to take the time and money (things which are often much rarer after kids) to do things for yourself (how often does that happen with kids…haha). Lists like this are meant to be modified…okay, so you can’t afford the house…or a month in another country…find something else unique that you’ve always wanted to do, and do it! Because really, who knows when the opportunity to try things will come along again! You are only young once…and you may as well do as much as you can before you don’t want to anymore!
Ewa says
The thing about these kind of lists, is that everyone should find their own path in life and not feel like they “should” go to a football game, or shoot a gun, or whatever else. For me personally, one of the first things I ever knew I wanted to do in life was to have kids. Not because somebody said I should, but because I thought it would be right for me. And it was. And yes, some of my “freedom” is limited, at least for the time being. But there is not one item on that list I would consider for even a second to be worth giving up my current life for.
victoria says
I like your concept of the ‘pre-children bucket list’, but do have my reservations…
What about having an aspirational list which would have just 1 point to tick off… and that would be ‘to achieve a place of fulfilment to not need a bucket list’…
loki says
what a wild list (of things to do BEFORE you have kids)! maybe i’m doing it all wrong (i have 2 kids; 14 and 12) but apart from a few dislikes, we have done and keep doing loads of these.
Mitch says
So I counted and have done 48 of those 70 that you posted… though you have to allow for a few minor changes: I ran a half-marathon, I watched the Yankees and Sox in Brooklyn, etc… I am now 36 years old and about to be married for the second time, and hope you understand that marriage should not be hindrance to your list, rather a way to embellish it… add new adventures 🙂
Good luck! -M
shaid says
ive done 9 things on this list, and im not even in college yet so i guess i have a preeetty good start
andrea says
I have to agree with those who have said it would cost a great deal of money and require a great amount of freedom to accomplish most of the things on this list, with kids or without. No matter how hard I work or how much I budget, I doubt I could do over half of these things until I retire at the earliest. I think it is a good list for people who can afford to do the things on it, but I think you can probably do just as many with kids as without.
Alice says
There are a lot of things on that list I don’t think are all that important and many that I think are.
I’m a rural Alaskan. While I lived in various places during college and after, I don’t ever have any desire to live in New York City or southern California for a year. I’d rather live in middle of nowhere Wyoming or something. I’m also never going to run a marathon because it’s something I have absolutely no desire to do. Each person has to come up with their own list.
But all in all life is short, and so’s the time in which a woman is fertile (the first big decline is at 28 or so). I’m finishing up my graduate education now and if I wait to have kids until after I get a chance to live Africa, buy a house, and bike a century, it could be too late to have children without adopting or spending gobs of money on assisted reproduction.
It’s important to enjoy at least a few years of your adult life and time as a couple before bringing kids into the picture, but there’s no reason you can’t live your life and do exciting things after kids come along.
Jordan says
Why does this culture think that life ends when you have kids?
DeeNile says
Now I know why I was always the youngest parent in my kid’s school meetings. People think you need to do this stuff before you have kids. Wrong idea. You don’t have the money when you are young. So if you try to do some of these (cheaper ones) and then have kids because of the biology/age issue, you end up old when your kids are out of the nest. Then you are too old to enjoy all these things.
So do some and have kids before you are 30. Be poor and enjoy less expensive fun things when the kids are little (remember they sleep early and soundly so some of this list is “do-able” when they are babies.)
Our kids are in college now and we are still young enough (mentally and physically) to do all the things we couldn’t do when we had no money before they were born. When they are gone from the nest, we pick up where we left off on the list.
As for # 30 (Embark on a month-long road trip across the country with 3 of your best friends) we did this three times, and the three best friends were our children.
Andrew says
Yes, it’s all good, but the title should be amended.
It should read “70 Things To Do Before Having Children… if you’re American”. These choices are hopelessly USA-centric and involve enormous amounts of money and resources for “fun” stuff. Also, there is the assumption that one should have children… a child born in the US will have 900 times more environmental impact than one born in Bangladesh. This list is mostly irresponsible self-aggrandized USA idiocy.. (“Learn To Fly A Plane”…?). We do not live in that world any more. The internet is now international and you are just embarrassing yourself with your lack of sensitivity.
Tom Mulhall says
I highly recommend #67 “Bare all on a nude beach.” If you are in Europe nude beaches are very common in France and Spain.
It is lots of fun and sensual nude sunbathing with the warm sun carressing your body. And swimming without a wet bathing suit is heavenly.
If you are an American, we are more afraid of the sight of a naked body. It will be easier to find a nice nudist resort than a nude beach in the US.
Jeanie Marshall says
Before I read your list, I made a mental note of my own list. The top two — which probably really means there’s no need for any more — are “Love Life” and “Do What You Love.”
With those on your list, the circumstances are irrelevant — children, no children, or any other conditions. Also, the specific activities matter less. It is the passion, the loving, that matters.
It’s great to share our lists!
Chica says
I must say that I agree with the statement that life ends when you have kids. I have many friends who all have kids, and all they ever do are change stinky diapers, attempt to spoon food into their screaming kids’ mouths, run after their kids all day, etc. I’m 25 years old and instead of running out and getting married/pregnant when I graduated high school or college, I traveled extensively, (which I paid for, NOT my parents) all over the world. My friends who know about what I’ve done since high school have told me they’re jealous, because I can still have kids…but they can never have the carefree travel days I had. I’ve celebrated my 20s, pursued my dreams, etc. I’m with a wonderful guy right now and we plan on getting married, but we don’t plan on having kids for another couple of years. There is NOTHING wrong with waiting to have children. It’s an archaic way of thinking that we should throw away our 20s to continue the species. (There are too many people as it is.) People rush into marriage and pregnancy far too much these days. I’ve thoroughly enjoyed my freedom and relished in the fact that I have gotten to complete many of the items on this list. I don’t get why society tells us that the best thing one can possibly do is have kids. That’s an extremely silly and old-fashioned way of thinking. Sure, I suppose you could do a couple things on the list with kids—but trust me, it would NOT be the same. I have a friend who’s only 18 and just found out she’s pregnant. She’s so excited. It’s like, why are you so excited?! Your life is OVER as you know it. And you didn’t even get to experience some of the best years of your life. What a shame. It’s not 1942 anymore. We don’t have to have children right out of high school. Ugh. Most people MY age aren’t nearly mature enough to get married, let alone have a kid. SLOW DOWN, for pete’s sake. There’s PLENTY of time for kids and family. Enjoy yourself while you can; make time for YOU. When the kids come along, there will be no more of that…
martinus says
done most of them. now what?
David Keech says
It is precisely because my parents didn’t let having children stop them from doing things that I have already completed about half of that list.
When I turned 8 I joined the scouting movement as a cub and my Dad joined with me as a leader. When I turned 11 my mother joined as a scout leader. Taking showers under waterfalls, jumping off cliffs into rivers, riding bicycles down the steep side of mountains, learning to sail and mountain climbing were all completed while in the scouting movement.
What it did for me was instilled in me a desire to experience more of the world than I had already done and I think that’s more important than simply having these experiences yourself. If you save some of these until after you have children then you’ll have something left to teach them.
Beatriz says
Every time some one raises the issue of having children, it seems we all divide ourselves into two camps. The reality is we all live with our choices and we will never REALLY know if the other choice would have been better for us. To have or not have, to have early or to have late–maybe it doesn’t matter.
I am 47 and never had children by choice. I don’t regret it and I feel I’ve enjoyed my life as much as possible, especially my youth, and I can’t imagine my life any other way, but if I had had children, I’m sure I would not have regretted it either, because I wouldn’t be able to imagine my life without them!
Chica–you have the right idea because you are deciding what you want for yourself and not letting yourself be influenced.
On another subject–why do people love lists so much? I hate lists myself, no offense! Just wondering…
Unnar says
21.Jump off a cliff into a natural body of water in an exotic location.
I know a good place in Norway,I would be happy to guide you there.. 🙂
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Z6aZHcu3cg
Just bring some swim cloths…
Julie Newman says
I think this should be renamed to 70 Things to Do Before You Die, hehe. On a serious note, I feel that most if not all of these listed here can be done even when you have children. It’s a matter of having the drive to go out and do it and the finances to afford it. But I love the list, especially number 37. There’s a few numbers on this list I’m going to add to my list of things to do this week!
Nice and entertaining post, keep up the good work!
Sage says
I really loved this list, but some of the posts are so negative! I feel really sorry for the people who think you have to have tons of money to travel or that “mommy and daddy” are footing the bill for people that make traveling a priority. I have never had much money, paid for college and grad school myself, and have also traveled the world. But I’ve also never had a fancy new car and don’t buy expensive bags and clothes. It’s ironic that someone will go and spend 20 grand for a new car, but traveling is only for rich people! What a sad, sheltered, money focused life they are living… But then again, who am I to judge, people just have different priorities. But seriously, no excuses! Go travel, you be happy you did!
Tia says
This is a really lively topic! Obviously it was worth posting.
@Chica – you’re 25. That’s why it’s really hard for you to see that life doesn’t end when you have kids. I’m only a few years older than you, but I have a kid, and if my life ends, it’s because I’m not mature enough to know that life doesn’t “happen” to me – I make it happen for myself. Good or bad.
I would AGREE that travel is what you should do before having kids. I will travel with my son, but not in the early days. I did, however, make a promise to myself that he will KNOW this world and will see the people who live in it.
Thanks for posting the list, Marc!
tommy says
This is great! I think I am past #67 thought. I’ll try the other 69 though.
Thanks for all the hard work and posting this.
Blakeney says
I’m 40, have no children, and I agree with Hillery and OnionUnion. I read your list and for some of the items I found myself shaking my head and asking, “Why?”
I realize different things are important to different people. But honestly, Spring Break? A couple of weeks with a bunch of drunk, drugged, foolish teenagers/college kids all trying to win the title of “Lookit Me! I’m the Most Outrageous!”? What on earth would that do for me?
And why on earth would I want to visit a “high-end” *cough, cough* strip club, whether in Vegas or anywhere else? You don’t have to be a bible thumper to know that exploitation is a sleazy business, and I’ll be damned if I give my money to keep it going.
The whitewater rafting, traveling, and learning entries I agree with completely. But some of the of the other choices I just can’t fathom.
Matthew Cornell says
> 70 Things To Do Before Having Children
For most of us, #1 is:
Have sex
Mag says
My friend sent me this link and I am amazed how similar our lists are.. check out mine 🙂
http://magdalenaphoto.com/101/101thingstodobeforeidie.html
I created my list shortly after 9/11 and oddly #1 was completed couple months after.
Keep on checking them off 🙂
Mag
TrainingHack says
Good list, Although I wouldn’t consider having children before falling in love! seems a bit pointless:-) I am also hoping to experience most of these things with my children.
X C