“Though the road’s been rocky, it sure feels good to me.”
?Bob Marley
About a decade ago my grandmother, a woman whom I respected and cherished dearly, turned eighty years old. I’ve written about her before, but I’ll do her justice once again by restating that she was one of the wisest and most humble people I’ve ever known. Although a bit soft-spoken, every time she did speak priceless wisdom rattled the eardrums of those lucky enough to be around.
On the evening of her eightieth birthday, in a moment of genuine humility but obvious self-doubt she asked me, “Marc, at my age, do you think I still matter? Do you think I still have more to achieve?” I was completely speechless and I stumbled over my words for several seconds. Here I am in the presence of someone whom I have an undying respect for, and she’s asking me whether or not she matters.
I finally collected myself and said, “Grandma, yes – 110% yes! You matter and you still have a lot to look forward to. I’m not telling you this because I love you, but because it’s the truth. As time rolls on you will prove this truth to yourself, and I will be there to support you every step of the way.”
My grandmother sat silently for a moment, smiled and replied, “Thank you dear. I needed to hear that. I’m honestly looking forward to the journey ahead.”
Over the course of the next decade, until she finally passed away at 90, my grandmother lived intently and joyously. She wrote, painted, volunteered at hospitals and community centers, and learned several new skills (my favorite of which was playing the piano). And of course, she remained a beacon of wisdom to everyone around her.
Her moment of self-doubt always stuck with me though and I still think about it from time to time. Now, all these years later, I realize that people in all walks of life lose hope every day – sometimes for just a few minutes and sometimes for prolonged periods of time.
What’s most important is to remember that, regardless of our specific situation, there’s always hope to be found. While we’re alive there’s always something meaningful left to experience and appreciate. Here are some thoughts on what we all still have to live for…
1. The power of now.
Every moment is equally special. Every moment is a gift.
Your life is not between the moments of your birth and death. Your life is between now and your next breath. The present moment is all the life there ever is.
Your entire lifespan is simply composed of ‘right nows.’ The best is not in front of you or behind you. It’s within you always in each moment.
So my challenge to you is this: Open your eyes. Wake up. Be attentive. Appreciate this moment for what it is. Regard the present as another chance to enjoy the sights, sounds, smells and sensations life has to offer. Enjoy the big things that we often mistake as little things. Read 1,000 Little Things.
2. Your ability to learn something new.
Gandhi once said, “Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.” What this means to me in the simplest of terms: Every day is a gift, and the gift is learning.
Be a student of life. Indulge in it, learn from it and absorb all the knowledge you can. The purpose of your life is to live it in full, to experience it to the utmost, to reach out with an open mind for the newest and richest experience being offered at the time.
3. Knowing you gave it your best shot.
Don’t be afraid of death; be afraid of leaving the rest of your life unlived. You don’t have to live forever; you just have to live passionately right now while you have a chance. Keep in mind that life hasn’t afforded everyone this chance. You have been gifted a priceless opportunity.
Forget about how you thought things were supposed to be. Just because some things didn’t work out as you had expected, or didn’t happen as fast as you thought they would, is no excuse to give up on yourself. Time passes one way or the other. Do what you need to do so that, at the very least, you can look back someday and say, “I gave life my best shot.” Read Tuesdays with Morrie.
4. The wisdom and strength you have within you.
Human beings don’t become wise by reading books – they become educated. Living out experiences firsthand in the real world, one day at a time, is what gives birth to wisdom. Ultimately wisdom is what you get when you test out the waters for yourself. This kind of life experience is the most valuable asset you own.
Sometimes on the road to acquiring wisdom life will beat you down, but you have to stand back up. Because nothing is more beautiful and powerful than a soul who has weather and grown through life’s difficulties. Don’t regret your time, even the moments that were filled with hurt. Smile because you learned from it all and because you gained enough strength to rise above it all.
In the end, it’s not what you have been through that matters; it’s how you got through it that defines your life and your legacy.
5. The positive difference you can make.
Learn to give, even if it’s just a smile, not because you have too much, but because you know there are so many others out there who feel like they have nothing at all. You always have the ability to be kind, and kindness really does make the world a better place.
Smile at people who look like they’re having a rough day. Give them a hand if you’re able. Kindness is the only investment that never fails, and wherever there’s another human being there’s an opportunity for kindness.
As a bonus, when you’re kind to others and bring happiness into their lives, you will not be able to keep it from yourself either. Read The How of Happiness.
6. You are worthy.
The greatest thinking trap is self-rejection. When you begin to believe the negative voices in your head that sometimes call you worthless, then the thought of leaving this world can seem like an attractive option. What you need to realize is: these negative voices are lies.
As soon as someone accuses you or criticizes you, as soon as you are rejected, left alone, or abandoned for a short time, you might find yourself thinking, “Well, that proves once again that I am a nobody.” What you need to realize is, these other people are NOT worthy of YOU.
Self-rejection is the greatest enemy of emotional growth because it contradicts the sacred inner voice that calls you “worthy.” And being worthy constitutes the core truth of every human existence.
Say it out loud if you have to: “This is my journey, and I am worthy of the trip.”
Closing thoughts.
As Hemingway so profoundly said, “It is good to have an end to journey toward; but it is the journey that matters, in the end.”
You may feel discouraged. You may feel upset. You may feel too old. You may be sick. You may be divorced. You may be unemployed. You may be financially strapped. You may be… etc.
But you’re not dead – YOU ARE ALIVE. Your journey is not over.
NO matter what, this simple fact alone is proof that you still have something meaningful to achieve.
Your turn…
What makes you feel most alive? What gives your life meaning? Leave us a comment below and let us know.
Photo by: Jhong Dizon
jasmine says
What makes me feel most alive is hope. Marc and Angel, you have given this to me and to others. Thank you not only for your powerful posts, but for the platform for me to meet others here by reading their comments. Sometimes I read your replies and go back to every single post to match your comments on them. The first time I saw my name among your replies and read your note I cried for a long time. Like travelling currents of electricity, water, sunlight, sound waves, your words move across space and connect me to hope.
maria says
Thank you, one of the best I ever read…
Jessika says
Looking at the angelic face of my sleeping son, peaceful and dreaming. I want his life to be as full of the beauty I feel in my heart when I see his face. Striving for that makes me feel alive.
Ron Wingfield says
Once again I humbly offer my appreciation for the difference you make in the lives of so very many people who are lucky enough to have found your website. Regarding item # 4 of today’s post relative to wisdom & its origins within each of us & the ways in which it can manifest in our day-to-day lives, I once discovered a quote which I have never forgotten & regrettably do not know the source but would like to share here, “A wise man not only knows what he knows but he also knows what he doesn’t know”. As we continue from moment to moment thru life’s journey gaining wisdom each step of the way, we should never presume that because we have learned something we know everything.
David Rapp says
6 Reasons You Are not Dead:
1. You have more work to do
2. People are counting on you…even the ones you have not met yet
3. Your lifecycle is far from over
4. You have not seen, done and experienced all you were meant to
5. Your world is expanding or shrinking based on your mind, only the dead shrink
6. You have much to give
Stacy says
I look forward to your hack life emails and always post them to my facebook wall.
I was diagnosed with cancer 18 months ago–went through surgery, radiation, and chemo treatments within 8 months. I now try to volunteer my time and/or talent (photography) to fundraisers in order to help others deal with life’s setbacks. The positive feedback I receive makes me feel great about myself.
sameera says
My family, my father who is 85 years old, my sisters and brothers, their spouses, my sons, my grandsons, my friends, my nephews and nieces, my job, my home, my helpful colleagues at work, all of them make my everyday great and meaningful… And thanks to you both as well for this wonderful site.
Suky says
Love all of these but especially number 5. That warmed my heart. Thanks guys. This made me feel great.
Inspired Reader says
Marc,
Every time I read a new article of yours I feel so inspired by your words of wisdom but, honestly, I think this is my favorite post of yours to date. Your grandmother seemed like such a wonderful person and the life lessons you learned from her are so inspirational. Thank you so much for all of these beautiful posts, they make my day 🙂
tree sch says
7. I am not finished.
I know life is always changing and the only control I have is over my own thoughts. I can choose to be miserable or I can choose to be happy, it really is that simple. If I get a little lost I just read one of your beautiful posts to bring me back to center. I choose to be happy & riding my motorcycle is what makes me feel truly alive.
I just love it! Namaste my friends.
Michael says
Seeing others succeed is really what brings me to life. I’ve seen many people who have been discouraged, depressed, or otherwise down on themselves; a position that I have seen myself in many times before. Helping others to overcome these lies and truly live up to their potential continues to drive and motivate me. Thank you for posting such inspiration articles which leaves my heart and mind at ease each time I exit the site. We are all capable of overcoming our obstacles; we just need to realize that it all starts from within us.
Todd @ FearlessMen says
I’ve asked this question of others before: “Why are you still alive?” Or “Why are you on Earth?”
Great things to think about. I just turned 30 and want to write on 30 Years and 30 Life Lessons. This is good stuff to chew on. Thanks!
Naomi says
Thank you Marc and Angel for giving me hope and inspiration every time you post something new. Your articles have helped me get through some of the most difficult times of my life and taught me to also let go of certain things. I now know that life is just beginning for me, and the best is yet to come. The fear of God is indeed the beginning of wisdom. May He continue to bless you both.
Mary Ann Alliston says
When I am totally overwhelmed with the care of my husband, I stop and think of what he’s gone through (24 years of cancer, several major surgeries, 2 strokes, pneumonia, and facing more radiation and chemo) and how he meets each day with a positive attitude and no complaining. He is my inspiration – always and forever. I know he is approaching the end of his journey, but he’s dancing on the path to get there!
Marc says
@Vincent Nguyen: Yes, anyone can make a difference. Making one person smile can honestly change the world – maybe not the whole world, but their world. Thank you for doing your part, it doesn’t go unnoticed.
@Ben: Thank you so much for the kind words. I am so glad we could help inspire you and bring some joy to your life again. Life has many up and downs but it truly does get better and better as we grow. We’re all in this together. Stay strong and wonderful! =)
@Suman: I completely agree with Judy and Don’s comment. You do matter; you’re still alive. It’s great that you find hope through your children but you should also find it in the small moments you experience every day – there is beauty there. And there is still so much life left to live, especially with your children. Please smile.
@Mark Flynn: I love your analogy. =)
@Mike Smith: What an incredible story, thank you for sharing! Happy Birthday to your Mom. =)
@James Mtonga: Confidence and passion together provide the solution. If you have confidence in yourself and passion for your ideas, you will be far more willing to accept calculated risks, take creative chances and thwart off the other stress factors attempting to restrain your creative edge. Because at the end of the day, you know that every success has a trail of failures behind it, and every failure is leading towards success.
@Rob: I love that you are living the words. Thank you for the feedback. =)
@Mackenzie: I am so sorry for your loss. Please accept our condolences. We’ve dealt with similar issues in our lives and I can tell you, using the good memories of someone we’ve lost to fuel positive self-growth going forward is what works best.
@Amandah: Super inspiring, as always.
@Heather: I am so glad we can help and make your day a little brighter. Play with your pets for us a little longer tonight for us. And remember, life does move forward. It’s hard understand why some things happen, but you honestly only have a choice to make the best of the way things turn out. Please stay strong.
@Raisa: Congratulations! One step at a time.
@Cathryn: What a great idea. Happy Birthday to your mother!
@Leila: You are an extremely strong woman. What gives your life meaning? “FINDING Leila – myself – and taking a chance and to start loving myself.” I don’t think there could be a better answer. Cheers to that! We’re here with you on this journey.
@Diana: Beautiful words. I can absolutely relate to your love of nature through photography.
@David Rapp: We believe in you, and honestly you have such a positive attitude. It’s an attitude like yours that allows people to rise above life’s tragic issues. Keep steeping forward. Also, I love your second comment. Great list.
@Jasmine: Wow, thank you so much for the extremely kind words. We are so happy to be part of your path to hope. Your support and love is appreciated more than you know.
@Stacey: What a positive impact you are making on so many. You are certainly one of the strong ones. Keep fighting. And thank YOU!
@Michael: I agree. Helping others is the best gift you can give yourself. =)
@Mary Ann Alliston: When you look at it the way you are, your husband is a true inspiration to all of us who deal with small struggles on a daily basis. May he continue to inspire the world through you. Thanks for sharing his story with us.
@All: Again, reading your comments reminds me that we are all in this together. What makes us feel most alive? Connecting with people around the world who struggle with the same issues and celebrate the same joys. This is honestly what makes life worth living.
Angel and I will check back in later to read more comments. Thank you for sharing with us.
Monica says
My grandmother passed away a week ago today. Her last decade or so was rough: she almost died from bacterial meningitis, and a few years later began suffering from mini-strokes and TIAs, all of which made communicating really tough for her (and my grandma LOVED to talk!).
She meant a lot to me — I flew 2/3 of the way across the country to be at her funeral. Another mentor said me that I am who I am today because of my grandmother. I treasure them both, and I hope I have my grandmother’s classiness and grace, my mentor’s sense of ineffable calm and ability to distill problems to a workable essence, and my mom’s good looks. 🙂
Lynn says
I learned something very valuable early in life. Everyday I try to make at least one person feel good about themselves, whether it is a stranger or a dear friend. This makes my life seem worthwhile. A smile, a listening ear, a compliment….. So simple. The smiles in return are like gold! I sometimes underestimate the power of this action. Thank you, Marc and Angel, for your message of continual growth.
Kelly says
Just recently I started to find my own reasons to live. For so long, I blamed it on my children, my reason for sticking around, but now I found those reasons in myself and it is so sweet. This blog was just confirmation of my self discovery I’ve found. thank you
Karen says
Tomorrow is my mother-in-law’s 89th birthday. Two years ago she lost her husband of 63 years. I have watched as each day is a struggle for her and I know that she would just rather be dead. She has stopped living and I feel so bad for her. Everyone has tried to help but she has found it too difficult to try. We all try to make her time left as happy as possible. We show her that she is loved and cared for.
I can’t make her decide to live, but I can choose to learn as much from this experience and I can set my life up in ways that support your concept. To live life and continue the journey—-until I’m dead.
I will keep these words. They’ll come in handy one day. Thanks.
Margie Shynk says
Marc & Angel:
I just read this; I’ve been traveling. A one thing I know for certain….. my husband of 10 years indirectly killed himself; he’d battled depression for years. I learned you can’t love somebody enough to save them, all you can do is love them well and leave no regrets on the table.
I’m 48 and have spent the past 3 years regrouping and finding God’s love and hope within myself. I could no longer dwell in the darkness where there is no hope. I had to face the sunshine and learn I still have 100% to give to this life. If I can inspire just 1 person to move forward and embrace a joyous life, Steve’s death was for something, which is LIFE.
I will see him again someday and share the stories of missing him.
Have a wonderful week!!
Margie
Nadine says
I love your blog, it gives me hope. Especially in these difficult times, as we remember my loved ones who died in the genocide against the tusti in rwanda, and my aunt, one of the few survivors going through dialysis now. I am alive because i make a difference in the lives of everyone i meet, on the bus, at work, etc…
You are amazing. Thank you so much for your blog, especially today I needed some positive thoughts.
Erica says
Getting diagnosed with breast cancer in Dec ’11 at just 30 yrs old was life-changing. After going thru the whole healing process I have come out living life in a whole different way. This year I am stepping out of my box and doing things I never imagined doing. This post epitomizes that. Thank you.
Kate says
Today April 8th on my birthday I got the call that the cancer I have been diagnosed with is inoperable and terminal. 18 months to 2 years the Dr. says. Thank you so much for your articles. They keep me inspired, keep me grounded, and give me a goal for how to live out the remainder of my time. When I feel the self-pity knocking I am so grateful to be able to go through the archives and find just what I need to get through. Thank you for this gift!!
alistair says
When in the depths of depression, words like yours are valuable and uplifting – giving rise to a new perception! Thank you.
Judy says
As Hemingway so profoundly said, “It is good to have an end to journey toward; but it is the journey that matters, in the end.”
Ironic that you included this quote. Hemingway took his own life.
Benny says
You two have built such a wonderful and supportive community. Amazing quality in writing and amazing work. I’ll be using a lot of your quotes, making sure to reference your pages.
Cheers!
Vivian says
After reading your blog on “6 reasons” it has given me the courage to get through another day. It’s 1:00AM and I couldn’t sleep… I try to understand why, at 81-years-old, I am still alive because I DON’T feel like I matter to anyone. But I do feel better after reading what you had to say here. Thank you with much appreciation.
Gozie says
I will forever be grateful to God for making me to come across your site… Life has not been fair to me in terms of my health, but with the words and encouragement I get from you I work on living a fulfilled and happy life. Blessings.
Madison says
I am so happy I was able to came across to this blog. I will re-read all of the blog entries and comments, I can’t get enough of them.
Caitlin says
At the zoo! I love animals.
Clare says
I’m so glad I came across this post. My grandmother turned 80 last year and although she doesn’t say it, I think maybe she feels a bit like this. It reminds me that I should do something to make her feel special and help her to remember she still makes a positive difference in all our lives.
Jenn says
I collect stones from all the places I went because, it’s the only spaceship I know…
Thanks
Catherina Chia says
Timely article. Thanks Angel 🙂
Annelise says
I have been reading and enjoying your articles for a while now, but this one really had an impact on me. Thank you!
Pinkita says
Thanks for another great article. Your posts are like energy drink boosts for me through the day!
I noticed you are not on facebook anymore and I miss you there. Please come back quick.
Maureen says
I wrote a blog post about an 84 year old woman I met while walking my dog who was telling me what it was like to be old and invisible, like a piece of furniture. One of my readers posted a link to this article because it had moved her so much. Thanks, Marc!
Kevin Dee says
I truly enjoy your blog and there is rarely a post that does not resonate in some way. My wife and I just spent ten days visiting with my 91 year old mother across the Atlantic … so lots of parallels here. She is a joy to be around, a sharp brain and a quick laugh. What a blast … life is good!
Greg Sandhurst says
I find I can still learn something new… but at the cost of forgetting something old. I find it scary just how much of my life I’ve forgotten and the skills I no longer have. I have new skills that have replaced old but I would have preferred to keep the old ones too.
Jim says
@Heather: Your situation is very nearly the same as mine. My cat is my best friend and is a great comfort. Hang in there. Good things will happen. Time heals most wounds. I’m going to make it work for me, and my thoughts will be there willing your life to be better. We both can come out of this better. I promise.
Sayo says
Just came across this blog and now I feel happy. Thank you for sharing this wisdom.
Colette says
Thank you both so much for your posts reading through the comments i can see what a huge difference you are making in people’s lives. I love reading your stuff.
Life itself and the miracle that it is, is what inspires me. I recently lost my dad and through his sickness, and also many years of being a community worker and seeing peoples struggles, has made me grateful for the fact that i wake everyday and have choices and people who love me. Life isn’t always easy but in every situation you can always find something positive even if it’s only a lesson 🙂
Sidney says
Gardening, writing, travel, and enjoying nature & sunshine makes me feel most alive.
#4 has an editing error.
“Because nothing is more beautiful and powerful than a soul who has weather(ed) and grown through life’s difficulties.”
As a writer, it’s much easier catching others’ mistakes, than my own. See? I was paying attention to every single word. That’s how much I love your blog!
grace says
To achieve the journey that would bring me to a glorious end would be to live in a world that is based on loving others, to never have pain inflicted by harsh words, hate, and cruelty. To have those around you love you for you, realizing that family should be supportive by not putting blame or shame because one struggles and one does not. To have your family love you, miss, and think about you, spending time to recapture the closeness we felt as children.
sakthivel says
Nice post!!! My mind sometimes says that you are worthless, you can’t do this, etc. I know that all are lies.
Thank you very much for this reminder.
Ivan says
Marc,
This is a great post!
I agree that we’re alive today because we still have something worthy to give in this world.
Perhaps we’re not Bono or Bill Gates with their vast influence and resources, but each one of us can still make the world around us a better place, one person at a time. This may sound morbid, but each one of us is dying. Our time is limited. Why not make the most of what time we have left?
For me, knowing that I may leave this world any moment makes me want to live my best everyday. I do have bad days every now and then just like everyone else. But everyday I’m alive is a new day.
I wouldn’t let yesterday’s hurts tarnish the shine off the brand new day I have in front of me.
Braja says
I believe the only reason one is not dead yet is that the purpose of life of that person is yet to be fulfilled. Thanks for the eye-opening article!
Ray says
Thanks for your blog. After reading this, I got more positive insights in my life. So inspiring.
Dee Dee says
Not having a terminal illness.
Thank you for your encouraging words.
RageMichelle says
Wow… I read you guys ALL THE TIM .and I love what you do. I’ve been comforted a number of times by your posts… but this is the first time I teared up, and I didn’t even have a very good grandma.
Faith says
The fact that I still have a chance to correct my mistakes and bring joy and happiness to those I love (and those who choose to stay even though they realize I am not as good as they thought I was)