“None but ourselves can free our minds.”
— Bob Marley
When I was a freshman in high school, and struggling to find my way, someone anonymously slipped a note into my locker one afternoon. It said, “Don’t let them get inside your head. You’re not boring, nerdy or weird. You’re complex, creative and far too intelligent for their small words. And for the record, you are also infinitely more attractive than you give yourself credit for.”
I never discovered who wrote the note, but whoever they are, they changed my life. From that day forward, I changed the way I talked to myself.
Specifically, I STOPPED saying…
1. “I’m not good enough yet.”
You might think you’re not good enough, but you’ll surprise yourself if you keep trying. Your past does not determine who you are. Your past prepares you for who you are capable of becoming. What ultimately defines you is how well you rise after falling. Don’t ever be afraid to give yourself a chance to be everything you are capable of being. Forget the haters. Never undervalue who you are and what you’re capable of. Excellence is the result of loving more than others think is necessary, dreaming more than others think is practical, risking more than others think is safe, and doing more than others think is possible.
2. “I should be living up to other people’s expectations.”
Remember, it’s always better to be at the bottom of the ladder you want to climb than the top of the one you don’t. Happiness and success is all about spending your life in your own way. Always be yourself and walk your own path. No one can ever tell you you’re doing it wrong. Everyone has their own dreams, their own struggles, and a different path that makes sense for them. You are YOU for a reason.
If you end up living a boring, miserable life because you ignored yourself and instead listened to a parent, a teacher, or some gal on TV telling you how to live your life, then you have no one but yourself to blame. Just remember, the smartest and most courageous act is simply to think for yourself and listen to you own intuition. In the end, it’s better to die your way, than live someone else’s idea of your life. (Angel and I discuss this in more detail in the “Self-Love” and “Relationships” chapters of 1,000 Little Things Happy, Successful People Do Differently.)
3. “What they think and say about me matters.”
What would you do differently if you knew nobody would judge you?
Don’t let others crush your dreams. Do just once what they say you can’t do, and you will never pay attention to their negativity again. Don’t walk away from these negative people… RUN! Good things happen when you distance yourself from negativity and those who create it.
Truth be told, no one has the right to judge you. People may have heard your stories, but they can’t feel what you are going through; they aren’t living YOUR life. So forget what they say about you. Focus on how you feel about yourself, and do what you know in your heart is right.
4. “I need recognition for my actions to be worthwhile.”
Do what you know is right. Integrity is doing the right thing, no matter what, even when nobody’s going to know whether you did it or not. Life always finds its balance. Don’t expect to get back everything you give. Don’t expect recognition for every effort you make. And don’t expect your kindness to be instantly recognized or your love to be understood by everyone you encounter.
What seems like the right thing to do could also be the hardest thing you have ever done. Do it anyway. There is no greatness or peace of mind where there is betrayal of your own goodwill. Always aim at complete sincerity of your thoughts, words and deeds. If it is wrong, don’t do it. If it is untrue, don’t repeat it. Do what you do because you believe it’s the right thing to do. Do the right thing even when nobody is looking. Be one of the people who make a true difference in the world by leaving it a little better and more wholesome than you found it.
5. “It’s too late for me.”
Don’t let yesterday steal your present. Don’t judge yourself by your past… you don’t live there anymore. Let go, grow, and move forward. As we grow older and wiser, we begin to realize what we need and what we need to leave behind. Sometimes walking away is a step forward. Sometimes a break from your routine is exactly what you need. Unless you try to master something beyond what you already know, you will feel forever stuck.
Don’t waste another minute regretting what you did yesterday, and start doing what you have to do now, so tomorrow you won’t regret what you did today. It’s not too late. If you feel like it is, it’s just your inner fears lying to you. But remember, fear doesn’t exist anywhere except in your mind. It’s difficult to follow your heart, but it’s a tragedy to let the lies of fear stop you. (Read Awaken the Giant Within.)
6. “I need to have it all figured out.”
Does the walker choose the path, or the path the walker? Believe it or not, sometimes it’s the latter.
Sometimes the greatest dreams that come true are the dreams you never even knew you had. It’s about open-minded exploration. There are no wrong turns in life, only paths you didn’t know you were meant to walk. You never can be certain what’s around the corner. It could be everything, or it could be nothing. You keep putting one foot in front of the other, and then one day you look back and realize you’ve climbed to the peak of the most beautiful mountaintop.
7. “I do not have enough to be positive and grateful.”
Some days you’ll find diamonds and some days all you’ll see is coal. However, every day is a golden opportunity to learn, practice gratitude, and positively impact the world around you. Do not ask for instant fulfillment in your life, but for patience to accept your current frustrations. Do not ask for perfection in all you do, but for the wisdom to not repeat past mistakes. Do not ask for more before saying, “THANK YOU” for everything you have already received.
And remember, everything in life is temporary. So if things are good, enjoy it. It won’t last forever. If things are bad, don’t worry because it won’t last forever either. Just because life isn’t stress-free right now, doesn’t mean you can’t laugh. Just because something is bothering you, doesn’t mean you can’t smile. The trick is to be grateful when your mood is high and graceful when it is low.
8. “My life should be easier and free of discomfort.”
Great challenges make life interesting; overcoming them makes life meaningful. It’s how you deal with failure and discomfort that determines your level of success and happiness. Laugh at your mistakes and learn from them. Joke about your troubles and gather strength from them. Have fun with the challenges you face and then conquer them.
Emotional discomfort in life, when accepted, rises, crests and crashes in a series of waves. Each wave washes an old layer of you away and deposits treasures you never expected to find. Out goes inexperience, in comes awareness; out goes frustration, in comes resilience; out goes hatred, in comes kindness. No one would say these waves of emotional experience are easy to ride, but the rhythm of emotional discomfort that you learn to tolerate while doing so is natural, helpful and prevalent. The discomfort eventually leaves you stronger and healthier than it found you. (Read Man’s Search for Meaning.)
9. “I can’t forgive them.”
Forgiveness is a promise. When you forgive someone you are making a promise not to hold the unchangeable past against your present self. Forgiveness doesn’t mean what happened was completely excusable, and it doesn’t necessarily mean that person should still be welcome in your life. It simply means you have made peace with the pain, and are ready to let it go and move on with your life.
Forgiveness has nothing to do with freeing a criminal of his or her crime. It has everything to do with freeing yourself of the burden of being a victim – letting go of the pain and transforming yourself from victim to victor.
10. “I am alone.”
You can’t make it through on your own. None of us can. That’s why, thank goodness, you are never as alone as you sometimes feel. So many of us are fighting the same exact battle alongside you. You may feel alone sometimes, but you are not alone in being alone.
To lose sleep worrying about a loved one. To have trouble picking yourself up after someone lets you down. To feel rejected because someone didn’t care about you enough to stay. To be afraid to try something new for fear you may fail. None of this means you’re weird or dysfunctional. It just means you’re human, and that you need a little time to regroup and re-calibrate yourself.
No matter how embarrassed or pathetic you feel about your own situation, there are others out there experiencing the same emotions. When you hear yourself say, “I am all alone,” it’s just your mind trying to sell you a lie. There’s always someone who can relate to you. Perhaps you can’t immediately talk to them, but they are out there, and that’s all you need to know right now.
Next steps…
If I eavesdropped on your self-talk, would I hear statements that empower happiness, or statements that refute it? The next time you decide to unclutter your life and clean up your space, start with your intellectual space by clearing out the old lies and negative self-talk you often recite to yourself.
The floor is yours…
What would you add to the list? What kind of negative self-talk do you need to stop? What will you never say about yourself again? Share your thoughts with us by leaving a comment below.
Photo by: Gianmaria Zanotti
Dev says
I been loving the quick (and very much needed) doses of motivation your book has been giving me lately, so I’m going to quote it again tonight. I love this line from the page 122, which I think relates perfectly to point #2 above, and embraces the kind of negative thinking/self-talk I’m working on fixing in my life:
“Don’t let someone who gave up on their dreams talk you out of going after yours. The best thing you can do in life is follow your intuition. Take risks. Don’t just make the safe and easy choices because you’re afraid of what might happen. If you do, nothing good will ever happen.”
And of course, thank you for another timely post.
Susan Jones says
I don’t know about you Marc, but I find that I can deal with these types of thoughts effectively – and then they tend to come back, particularly when I am moving outside my comfort zone and stepping up.
I am currently in the situation where I am challenging myself to move outside my comfort zone to move forward with my business and I am finding the most ridiculous negative thoughts in my head. I just did an exercise this morning (based on the work of Martin Seligman) to get them all out on paper so I could deal with them.
I found it was a bit like being scared of monsters under the bed as a kid. If I hid under the doona cover, then they were really scary and I was paralysed, but if I was brave enough to look under the bed, the fear went away as I realised there was nothing there.
I think negative self talk is like that too. As long as we let it run unchecked it is scary and it disempowers us without us realising. However, when we articulate it, we are able to recognise it for the lie that it is and give ourselves more effective strategies to move forward.
The 10 things you pointed out are some of the most common things we say to ourselves that keep us from really being who we were created to be.
Alli says
This was such a beautiful article! I am graduating from college in December and this was so refreshing to read. I know I have big dreams, I just don’t know what they are yet. I believe in always trying to be positive, but also using the negative constructively. There is always something more out there waiting for us, and having the courage to WAIT is often half the battle.
I want to always encourage myself and others around me, but it is often hard to keep positive or encouraging thoughts towards myself when there is nothing I see I am working towards. Often it is best to take it one day at a time. Try to recall each day you have and see what made you happy. Focus on those happy moments and see how you can increase these during your days. If nothing truly made you happy today, it is time for a change. Try anything new! You never know what you will end up loving.
Jazilah Ali says
Marc, thank you for this amazing post, as always. 🙂
What I can add is something related to #1. – “I am not good at things.” Before I started my blog I was plagued with the insistent voice in my head that kept saying, “I am not good at writing.” And for some good months I was paralyzed. I have heard people who keep saying things like “I am not good with names, design is not for me, I suck at languages, etc.” And when you look a little deeply you realize it is not true, but rather we have gotten ourselves into the phenomena of “learned helplessness”.
When you continuously worry about something, you quickly stop taking measures to improve yourself and before you know it you are convinced that it is true and cannot be changed.
Lemon says
“I have to be perfect and everyone I associate has to be perfect” – But I have forgot that in HUMAN world, being imperfect is the way to be the perfect human being. Everything is normal, because they are imperfect.
That is the beauty of it!!!
Rasha says
Very inspiring and motivating post. I truly resonate with this post.
Paul says
Hi Marc,
I want to thank you for this inspiring post. It really resonates with me as I am now. I’m 65 and retired last month from a job I held for 34 years. Now, I’m home with my wife, and I’m looking for part-time work. It seems all the jobs I’ve seen so far require skills I have not yet mastered, or don’t have. There are no jobs related to the skills I learned in my prior job. It’s a bit discouraging, but I will try to develop my limited skills and try to develop new ones so I can land a job that I feel competent to do. I also have some physical problems causing quite a bit of pain that affects me emotionally. It’s not easy to think of positive things when you’re in pain most of the time. So, I guess I just have to look on the sunny side of the street and know that if I look beyond the clouds I’ll see the sun shining. Again, thanks for being there, and for taking the time to read this.
Ben says
Hey Marc,
Just want to drop a line and say what’s up! I’ve been followed your blog for a while and I really dig what you and Angel are doing. Keep it up.
Cheers,
Ben
Amandah says
Great list!
I would add the following to the list:
1. Why me?
2. What did I do to deserve this?
3. Will it never end?
4. It’s hopeless.
5. I’m hopeless.
6. I don’t care.
7. Why bother?
I heard these and other sayings growing up. But after much inner work, I don’t say them anymore. I realize that the people in my life who spoke these and other phrases around me did the best they could. They didn’t realize how much damage negative beliefs and thoughts can do. Fortunately, as an adult I realized I don’t have to listen to my parents or elders. I have the power to change and clean up my mind. I’m free. 🙂
Iyala simon says
Thanks you for the encouragement in #10. I often feel like I am completely alone. This reminder gives me renewed hope.
Violet says
I love the point here on Forgiveness. I always thought forgiveness meant forgiving the one who perpetrated the crime and I could often not bring myself to forgive that person… I was seething inside. But now I realize it is stepping up to the next level, to overcome my pain and conquering my self-pitying that’s important. It is empowering myself to be a better and stronger me.
Thank You. From my core.
Melissa Webster says
Thank you so much for this post. You have no idea how timely it is. I woke up this morning from a dream I had about an idea I pitched to someone that I’m still developing and haven’t launched, and that person dismissed the idea like he wasn’t interested, but then took it and ran with it without me behind my back. The only saving grace was he said “we can meet with the doors open” on any other ideas I might have.
Completely freaked me out and I woke up in a panic thinking someone I’ve talked to about the business is planning to or already has stolen my idea and cut me out of it. All I could think about was who did I talk to who would risk a lawsuit to do that, and why would they do it when it would be easier to just work with me on it? I know it’s more common than not, but it’s so stupid, and karma always, always gets them in the end.
And then I read this post and remembered the open doors.
I’m going to try to focus on the open doors instead. Maybe all is not lost, or maybe something better for me in the long run will emerge, or maybe this person will fall flat on their ass as I move forward on a stronger foundation, because I understand the concept and execution better. I don’t know and have no control over it anyway and what they do with their life is not my problem, so why waste my time and energy worrying about it?
I’ll focus on the open doors and my own plan for my business, and put all of my positive energy into making it happen.
One thing I’ve learned in life is you can’t build your happiness on someone else’s pain. So I’ll keep trying to do the right thing and let other people worry about their own choices. But, ya know, I will stand up and fight if and when it becomes necessary. I’ll hope for the best and keep moving forward, but, I mean, I can’t just roll over and accept an injustice to me or my ex-partner, no matter our differences.
Thank you for this calming post that prevented a full-on panic attack freak-out. One step in front of the other while I cautiously see people with open eyes for who they really are. That’s all I can do right now.
As far as adding something to your post, I wouldn’t. You listed it perfectly.
Melissa
Paul N. says
Hello Marc, I’d like to add one point to your excellent article. It’s the one about our self-talk we occasionally or often say out loud to ourselves when we make a mistake or forget something. Idiot! Not brilliant! Crazy! Stupid! &c… All these self criticisms said out loud to ourselves are so very hurtful for two very important reasons.
First, when we say it to ourselves, how can you protect ourselves from ourselves to the point of not believing what we are saying to ourselves.
Second, saying it to ourselves is actually giving ‘our parent’ (the one within us or the real ones) the hurtful power to belittle us and no one should have that power not even and certainly not each one of us. We must, each and every one of us, protect our inner persona that already has to face the external negatives out there without ourselves adding strength to the hurt by saying it to ourselves.
Maggie says
I am really in a dark place right now, especially because of our financial situation. I am unable to see the good in this situation we are in and have been trying for months now, looking for a better job, or something that will generate extra income. I don’t know what to do anymore; starting a business can be done but Capital is a whole other problem. Anyone have any thoughts on how I could get out of this dark place. It’s heavy and I’m tired. I need to take at least one positive step forward soon.
Thank you for your motivational quotes and thoughts and thanks to all who leave empowering comments.
Debbie says
This list is a keeper. Our self talk can turn us into our own victim and when we learn to like and love ourselves we can see we are not a victim anymore. I think many people fall victim to #2-“I should be living up to other people’s expectations.” We always try to please someone else rather that be true to ourselves. When we learn to control our self talk and start listening to our own intuition the sky is the limit. Life becomes happy, beautiful and we finally feel alive.
Have a very happy day.
Debbie
SJ Scott says
Marc,
Love these 10 examples of the ways negativity can simply kill us from the inside. You are so right, ALL of these should never be said or thought.
I have one more for you:
I have failed before; I will fail again
This is SO wrong, on so many levels. Most people who have succeeded in amazing ways have had big failures in their pasts. Failures help people to grow, learn and get the skills needed to succeed. All that people need to do is be open to the lessons and maintain a positive attitude.
-Steve
Lucia Antonelli says
Beautiful! I would love a Share tab on your site so I can easily post your words of wisdom on FB!!! Please ad one! Thank you! Xoxo
Betsy says
Oh Marc, if you could hear my self-talk you would not be surprised. You would hear “it’s to late for me” and “I am alone.” At 61, I am very grateful for all I have, but feel so alone after losing my high school soul mate of 36 years. I read your posts, and the comments from others, know what I need to do, but don’t know how to apply to me. I guess am afraid to try and start over. My thoughts go back and forth, no I can’t to yes I can with everything.
So enjoy your posts, and they do help. I need more talks on yes I can.
Thank you, and many others.
Skip says
As someone who for the last almost 15 years has been battling to get control over extreme social anxiety. All 10 points in this article ring true to what we have to change. For someone with SAD the title of each point is what we think. The explanation of each point is what we have to change in the way of our thinking. I am in control now. When I first started all 10 of these were very hard to even think of trying to change within my mind.
Toni says
Maggie, I can totally relate. For the last couple of years, I have felt as if I can’t catch a break and get ahead. I did finally recognize that I always end up having “enough”. I had to start taking it one day at a time and be grateful that I manage to have “enough” everyday. Once I had that realization, things shifted.
Please hang in there, sometimes the universe is just trying to tell you that you’re on the wrong path. Best wishes!
artikala says
I find myself to be mmore positive when I stop blaming people or uncontrollable situations for my failures or misery. Rather just I am responsible for my emotions & happiness gives me huge strength to move ahead positively & with lot of strength.
April says
This post reminder me of Nelson Mandela’s story. It is a great one always for people who think that they cannot forgive, that they do not have enough to be generous or happy, that they are out of time. He was imprisoned for LIFE. He realized that resisting and hating was only killing himself. He changed his mind-set in a prison cell in South Africa and that changed his outcome. It is an amazing story and he is an amazing man.
Mary Jane Allen says
Many people forget that we are all powerful spiritual beings who happen to be living a human experience now. Whether it takes research, meditation or energetic healing for you to remember this, know that it is absolutely true. What it means to you is that none of the above 10 items are an issue, they are just negative subconscious mind chatter and you don’t have to live that way. In fact, we’re not meant to live that way.
You are always enough, you are NEVER alone and you can create WHATEVER you really want in this life. 🙂
Live and empowered life!
Pola says
I’d like to add one more:
“I’m ugly.” – we are all beautiful in our own way.
All the best,
P.
Melissa Webster says
@Mary Jane: Thank you for that. It’s really beautiful.
praveen khandelwal says
Thank you very much, I was feeling down today, but your article here made me feel a little better. Thank you.
Jessica says
Hi Marc and Angel
I have just discovered your blog and I am loving it. I have lots of great articles to inspire me, so thank you for them.
You are both shining a beautiful light in the world.
So many of your 10 points touched me, but ‘You’re not alone’ really shifted something for me right now.
I recently experienced the death of 2 loved ones and my world has changed so dramatically.
I realised that in my darkest hour, there were very few people who actually cared about me and I have felt very alone. It has been a great pain in my heart that I didn’t have genuine friends, but hearing what you have said has given me hope. There will be someone out there in the world who feels the way that I do, that feels as alone as me.
And aloneness is actually ok. It’s just the calm before the next step in your life. I breathe, make peace with my aloneness, and open my heart to like-minded people in world who I may make friends with someday.
Thank you again.
Love
Jess
Alicia says
When was in High school I had this young guy tell me I was so ugly that NO ONE would ever love me. At the time I brushed it off told him where he could go. But at the weirdest times those words come back. At some level I took that creep’s words to heart and made them my own. I know I am not a raving beauty and that I would have been considered a great beauty in other eras, but I am not ugly and I am not unloved. Sadly I have to remind myself of this at times.
Steve says
Hi Betsy, I am sending you love from the UK. I would give you a hug if I could. Things take time, but try to take little steps in the right direction every day. Do you like dogs? Think of getting yourself one, it will get you outside on walks, they are a wonderful way to get to chat to people, and you can love each other. Just one idea. Hope it helps. Don’t stay cooped up indoors with your thoughts. That was a mistake I made when my father died. Love from Steve xx
Larry Hochman says
I don’t know that I would add anything. This was REALLY good.
Two side notes…
1. When I was 17, my father told me something for the first time: “Whatever you feel, it’s OK.” It had never occurred to me to give myself PERMISSION to feel what I was truly experiencing. That was a game changer.
2. When I was 19, I learned how to juggle…from someone I wanted to be like. That was the other game changer. It opened up a world of possibilities and challenged a whole bunch of self limiting beliefs.
Great post…even by your standards! 🙂
Betsy says
Steve from the UK, thank you so much for your kind words. Yes, staying cooped up with my thoughts is not good. I appreiate what you have said, and thank you again.
Hearing comments from others makes one feel not alone. So nice to know other’s feel the same way most times.
Thank you again Marc for these posts.
Laurie says
I needed to read this today. I have been feeling hopelessly lost since my marriage ended. Loneliness comes and tries to take me out of the game daily. Knowing I am not alone in my loneliness gives me a sense of who I really am. I will walk more confidently today. Thank you for your awesome wisdom.
Kristen says
You guys are awesome! I read your blog almost daily and it has helped me immensly. Thank you 🙂
Marc Chernoff says
@Dev: Thank you for the continued support. I’m happy to hear you’re enjoying our book.
@Susan Jones: Great point! In my book, personal development and growth is a practice. In other words, it takes consistent daily practice to address and overcome our emotional and intellectual challenges.
@Alli: You’ve got the right attitude, that’s for sure. =) Good luck with your graduation.
@Jazilah Ali: Which is precisely why a positive attitude is vital.
@Paul: Best of luck to you. If you keep that attitude positive, and you maintain awareness of the job openings in your target markets, I’m sure something viable will surface soon. =)
@Ben: Thank you. Glad to have you following along.
@Amandah: Agreed. Listen to your heart. Continue to follow your path, and be okay with the challenges and disputes from others that lie ahead.
@Iyala simon: You are surely not alone. We’re all in this together. Every single day.
@Violet: You’re welcome.
@Melissa Webster: Beautiful wisdom, as always. Thank you for continuing to share your stories with us. They are insightful and heartfelt, and I truly enjoy reading what you share.
@Paul N.: Excellent second point. Sometimes the people closest to us hold us back. We must be brave enough to address this when it happens.
@Maggie: I think the best first step is a full review of your current situation and your best options forward. Instead of figuring out what to move away from, figure out what you want to move towards. What path feels right to you? I wish you the best.
@SJ Scott: Great addition to the list!
@Lucia Antonelli: Our like button gives you the option to write a comment and post to FB if you choose.
@Betsy: Every day is indeed a new beginning. We’ll try to keep inspiring you to take another positive step, and another…
@All: As always, thank you for sharing your thoughts with us. I’ll check back in here tomorrow and read/reply to the rest of your comments. Now it’s time to put the finishing touches on my latest article…
Marc Chernoff says
@Skip: You’ve made amazing progress and are now in control. Congratulations!
@Artikala: Great advice! The best thing you can do is to let go of what you can’t control, and invest your energy in the things you can. Once you embrace that it feels as though the world has been lifted off your shoulders.
@April: I’ll have to check Nelson Mandela’s story out. Thank you for the recommendation.
@Pola: Everyone is unique: not better, not worse, just unique in their own way. Appreciate the differences instead of criticizing the shortcomings and you’ll see people – and yourself – in a far better light. Great addition, thank you.
@Jess: Welcome to the community. We look forward to shinning light and bringing smiles to your world.
@Alicia: Read Pola’s comment and remind yourself… Everyone is unique: not better, not worse, just unique in their own way. Appreciate the differences instead of criticizing the shortcomings and you’ll see people – and yourself – in a far better light.
raghav says
This post helped me a lot. Now I have better ideas on how to enjoy my life, and complete my own ambitions. Thanks.
Sibtain Naqvi says
Resurrectional, inspiring!
joane says
Hi, your post is genuinely great! Reading it up to the last words is really worth my time..
Bernadette says
I really enjoyed reading all the positive feedback. ..this is a place to go for people who are needing a great lift ….a reminder of a faith and potential in ones own path…we can always find it…great reminders like this can be shared . Xx
Tom says
I found my way here through a google search I made; “Why do I never think good things about myself?”.
Every second thought of mine, when reflecting and thinking of my self worth is that of suicide. Not in practical fancy yet as a vehicle for the expression of negativity. Never would I kill myself. The fact that I haven’t died yet and will continue to live through this self inflicted, hellish maze further goes to show and prove my real mission. I want to be an artist, I need to be an artist and I will surely die trying.
I will try to love myself, but it’s not an easy task. I’m 19 and I have a long way to go.
This article was absolutely wonderful. I’m sure it has helped many troubled people such as myself.
LEH says
Good advice, but sometimes I am alone and it is actually good. Yesterday, my company laid off half of the workforce with no warning. I was grateful to be in a quiet space by myself to do all that I needed to do without having to worry about how it was affecting anyone else. I cried and cursed and it passed. After that, I opened the door of my heart again and let others back in once the initial “clean up” was done.
Arif says
Very encouraging! Thank you for sharing 🙂
In my own life, I honestly have managed to fix the points 1 – 9 you mentioned, but I’m still working hard for the point No. 10.
Mutia says
This post is inspiring me so much! I loved every words that you’ve said. Thank you!!
DSB says
Within the past two years I have gone through a very difficult challenge. I luckily was able to get the professional help I needed to push through. I am in a much better place now and have many others around me in need of finding help and peace in their lives. I found this beautiful post, which reminded me of the initial, and sometimes grueling, hard work it takes to change negative thoughts to positive ones.
I have shared these points with close loved ones in hopes they can start working towards a happier more fulfilling life without having all they wish they had. I have posted these points (in their positive form), sort of like affirmations to myself, in a place I walk by every day. I enjoyed the recommendation to “clear out the old lies and negative self-talk” whenever you clean up your space. Its true, maintenance is required.
Thank you for this lovely and life-changing insight.
Martin says
Hi Marc!
Great article! I recently read about the power of self-talk from Shad Helmstetter and I must say that the concept is quite effective! I now coach myself out loud daily and I tell myself what kind of thoughts SHOULD be running in my head to promote my growth. I’m also amazed at all the answers I come up with!
Martin
Jane says
Some golden statements that I will remember from this post:
-Sometimes walking away is a step forward. Sometimes a break from your routine is exactly what you need.
-It’s about open-minded exploration.
-And remember, everything in life is temporary. So if things are good, enjoy it. It won’t last forever. If things are bad, don’t worry because it won’t last forever either.
-Great challenges make life interesting; overcoming them makes life meaningful.
Ann says
#9 explains one of the biggest problems I have, forgiveness, because it keeps happening over and over again. I forgive but the bitterness comes back with every underhanded comment and negative attitudes of people I can’t ignore, so everytime it happens my spirit falls, the past comes back to haunt me and I start to question and doubt myself. But, you have also taught me not to take things personally and not to let negativity in. It’s not easy so I keep referring back to these articles when I lose my way and am trying to strengthen my soul so I am not depressed or bitter and can still love. Thank you. It is important.
Matt Gallant says
Amazing read ! Doubting yourself is always the biggest mistake a person can do. I’ve been down in the dirt many times and I always convince myself that the key to success is always believing in yourself. Always remember life is always full of ups and down we’ll just have to deal with it.