“The only person you are destined to become is the person you decide to be.”
?Ralph Waldo Emerson
Note: This post has been updated with new information and moved to here:
12 Hard Things to Start Doing for Your Happiness
Your turn…
What would you add to the list? What’s one daily ritual that has helped you find more happiness and success in life? Leave us a comment below and let us know.
Photo by: ePi Longo
Clay says
Thank you for the great advice and food for though! Constant curiosity is my ritual. It truly helps me enjoy my life and create little moments of happiness throughout the day. I always try to learn new things, observe nature, ask questions about anything I don’t know yet… At the end of the day, I am so thankful for all what I’ve been able to learn and discover – that’s my daily dose of happiness!
Susan says
I have recently discovered that, albeit necessary, my care-giving for my mother with Alzheimer’s, my teenage daughter, my husband, my job and my volunteer work has evolved into an excuse to be “too busy” to take care of myself…physically, emotionally and professionally… what a revelation, that I’m doing (or not doing) this to myself all in the name of taking care of everyone!
Realizing this has allowed me to create a ritual of making an hour for myself every day, and it has been working wonders for my happiness.
Kevin Benson says
Impressively insightful and deep. As I read each “ritual” outlined here today, every single one of them continue to be as poignant as the ideas I began to read so many months ago when I first received your book as a gift for my birthday (which led me to your amazing blog). Thank you, Marc and Angel for helping to open up our hearts and minds in such meaningful and positive ways. Stunning!
My daily ritual for happiness and success is reading inspiring writings like yours, and many of the books you have recommended in your newsletters and articles.
Mary says
Marc and Angel , Thank You! You are inspiring and so right about letting go of the negative thoughts and people in life. It will only drag one down to places they do not want to be. After a painful and difficult time in my life and the loss of my husband by cancer I now find myself trying to live life once again and put the pieces back together. My daily ritual has become some sort of time for either a walk or exercise at the gym to clear my head of the clutter. It has been hard but I will be happy once again and keep moving forward with life.
Christy King says
I saw the headline and wondered really, all 12? But after reading the post, I think you are absolutely right.
As for adding, I would say “be grateful,” “find time to be alone,” and “be kind.”
Sandra Pawula says
Meditation is one of my daily rituals for happiness and success. Calming the mind in this way helps us to see the self-evident truth of the other important rituals you present here and thus makes it easier to embrace a positive lifestyle.
Lindsey Parry says
Wise and clear advice. It should all be so simple really, shouldn’t it? It all comes down to this as you say: “Am I willing to spend a little time every day like many people won’t, so I can spend the better part of my life like many people can’t?”
I love it. And it can be quite simple if you let it. Too many people like to make things much harder than they need to be, I believe.
Lynn says
I totally agree and will strive to use every ritual you have mentioned here. I have some issues going on at the present in my life and find these to be very valuable. One other ritual that I have begun is writing in a journal. I have all these things mixing around in my head that seem overwhelming but if I write them out, it doesn’t nearly as bad and I can then organize what it is I may need to do. Thank You again!
Onder says
Great article!
I would personally say that of all of them, 6 is the most important because you need to know what to spend your time and money on in order to better appreciate the other things.
If you have a habit of consuming, it creates a consumer mindset, which in turn gets applied to other areas of your life in a negative way – Your relationships with your friends and family suffer, your career takes a hit and your personal care begins to drop.
The more of your time you learn to value, the better you’re able to appreciate and spend it doing the things that truly make a difference.
Kevin Halls says
My daily ritual used to be get up a bit grumpy, have a wash, and grab a bite to eat and get out the door. But not anymore as I’m more grateful these days, so I try my hardest to awake cheerful even if things aren’t going too well, feeling thankful for being alive is a must, and get my mind to think positive for the day ahead. I used to think all this positive thinking was a load of nonsense, but looking back that was because I thought in a negative way.
So just start the day positive and don’t let the negative creep in is the best ritual to have.
David Rapp says
I wish we could change the word “avoid” to “minimize interaction with.” If the negative and dramatic people are your children, avoidance is the slow death of your family. Family, friends and co-workers are the next level and you can apply the principles you state here effectively with practice.
Jeanette says
Great article, and thought provoking. Asking yourself the right questions is imperative – and hard to do – if we stay feeling sorry for ourselves too long. Growth is asking the right questions and really looking and the right answers. Sometimes that leads to one of your other points – loosening your grip on what’s not meant to be in your life. For me, people who were negative and alcohol. Both things were more of a hindrance than enjoyment.
Susanna Halonen says
Great list – and especially loving number 4 about being positive and surrounding yourself with positive people.
They say you’re the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with so make sure they’re the ones who really drive you to your best!
This is also a key ingredient of my passion model which I used when coaching & training my clients so they can become more passionate, positive & proactive in their lives and careers.
L says
I just recently discovered your website – Thank you!! One thing I do (almost) daily – is make note of my gratitude. Even if the day was ‘bad’ I strive to find at least one little positive thing in each day (Note: I usually end up finding more).
reneesheart says
I love mostly everything you guys write but this was excellently written for me……love it and U!
Jenny says
Thank you so much for your wonderful insight. I take an extra 5 minutes every morning to drive along the river before I rush out into the traffic and hustle, I allow it to set a calmness in me so “most of the time” I don’t get bothered by the rush of others. I also wake up 20 – 30 minutes early so I can read devotionals and set the tone for the day.
Sue says
All very good rituals which we should try our best to follow. Mine to add would be ‘be thankful’. Even on the worst days, there is something we can find to be grateful for.
Jenny Dunville says
Really excellent column, great way to start off my day. Especially liked point #11.
Rob says
Pen and paper on my bedside table. As soon as I wake up, I write down 5 things in my life I’m thankful for (no repeats allowed). A simple gesture, but I’m finding it’s a great way to wake up, and puts me in an open, loving, and appreciative frame of mind to start the day.
And then I check out your wonderful site.
Guus says
When I was emotionally paralyzed, hardly able to do anything, I started making the bed every day… literally every day. And no, it was not my idea to do something like that. It’s some kind of common thing to start with. But it helped me learn some discipline, some habit. And slowly I’m extending it, but I started with making the bed, every day. And I still do it, every day.
Yassine AitLaaraj says
Thank you! I’m addicted to You and your blog 😉 <3
Heggy says
I find that a healthy holistic lifestyle helps keep me happy. Building good relationships, spending time outdoors, mindfulness. Also regular exercise, good food, nutrition and sleep. Getting the basics right and building on those. This builds a happy life
It’s hard to be happy and unhealthy at the same time, and equally hard to be healthy and unhappy.
Darlene says
Love the quote: “The only person you are destined to become is the person you decide to be.” ?Ralph Waldo Emerson
My daily ritual that supports my happiness and success?
There are so many, really. Like, first I was going to say exercising 45 min. a day.
But I don’t think that’s necessarily the most important habit.
So, if I have to pick one, I’ll pick:
Consistently choosing what’s good, fabulous, amazing, OK.. in any given situation… instead of criticizing, complaining or being judgmental.
It’s a habit I had to learn… and is actually an ongoing process.. (haha) but I’d say that THAT is what makes my life and business positively groovy.
~darlene 🙂
BB says
I always imagine that I am going to do everything well today. That motivates me into doing so, or at least trying my hardest. And also, I managed to practice trying to close all the drama, bad things and negativity out and concentrate what makes me happy. That always makes me smile. And at those moments I feel happy.
Louse H says
The ritual I practice that has the greatest impact to my overall sense of happiness is that of gratitude. A moment every morning to think of the things that I have in my life that I have no reason to deserve or expect puts all the problems and difficulties into a totally different perspective. In even the toughest times, I can look at the problems in the light of all that I do have and see how amazingly blessed I am. Then the bad stuff doesn’t seem quite so big or quite so impossible to get beyond.
Practicing gratitude reminds me that I am blessed beyond all measure and I live in a world full of beauty and love and possibilities far greater than my problems, difficulties, and self imposed limitations.
Practicing gratitude reminds me that I can, in some way, even be grateful for some of the difficulties along the way, because they have helped shape me into who I am now–a person, while somewhat bruised, broken, and road-weary, who is blessed and loved and confident that I can handle anything. I don’t think it gets any happier than that.
Pray says
Good life lessons, and motivating.
Gary says
Wow!!!!
Awesome quote haven!! Even from you… like:
“The acquisition of knowledge doesn’t mean you’re growing – growing happens when what you know changes how you live.”
Maddie says
Hi,
My name is Maddie and I would really like your help. Three years ago on your website I found a list of … i think it was 140 but I cant quite remember of random acts of kindness. I turned it into a goal list and was slowly making my way through them. However my laptop broke down and i do not have a copy. I have been looking all over your website for it but I can no longer find it 🙁 If you still have a copy or know where to locate it on your site could you please let me know? It was such a wonderful list and it became really important to me. Thank you so much!
I also wanted to let you know that in a really dark period of my life your website helped me and gave me hope, THANK YOU the work you two are doing is incredible.
Jonathan Look, Jr. says
Great list. I particularly like #2. Drama is not only a waste of time it is a productivity killer. There are people that thrive on drama but they tend to drag everyone around them down. They are best avoided and left to themselves.
Vishal says
Nice post
Points 8 & 9 really resonated with me cause they are the ones I really need to focus on currently. This post came as a timely reminder. Thank you.
Some more important rituals of successful people: gameligit.com/6-morning-rituals-of-successful-people/
Bettina Schuller says
I love how you phrased the following truth:
“The truth is, we tend to judge others by their actions and ourselves by our ideals. So do your best to catch yourself when this happens. Remember that when we judge or criticize another person, it says nothing about that person, and everything about our own need to be critical.”
I experienced just this last month how I had judged someone harshly and then was going to do the same thing when my life circumstance changed. I am glad I caught myself! Thank you for the above thought!
Miisa says
This post made me think about my own ‘rituals’. Have I really cemented habits into rituals? And I mean beyond exercise and brushing teeth :). Yes, my ritual that I’d like to add is ‘Always finishing something’. I work on many projects and I always want to finish something, even a smaller part of a larger piece of work, every day.
Bernie says
“The truth is, we tend to judge others by their actions and ourselves by our ideals. So do your best to catch yourself when this happens. Remember that when we judge or criticize another person, it says nothing about that person, and everything about our own need to be critical.”
You just caught me.
Thank you.
Don Sorterup says
Thank you.
Being grateful and taking moments throughout the day to be silent, quieting the mind through meditation or being still, allowing that quietness to breed joy, creativity and peace of mind. Be Well!
Ahmed Ali says
Marc and Angel, you are wonderful! Thanks for another dose of encouragement and healthy advice!
I want to add one more thing:
Everyday, we should take out some time, even five minutes doing nothing and thinking about good things happening to you. It makes you want to live with more energy and you become more confident. It works with me very well.
Julie says
I am just getting out of a toxic 10 year relationship with an abusive alcoholic. This post affirms some of the inner dialogues that I have with myself, as I start trying to create a life built focusing on the positive. I will never again forget to ‘uphold my truth.’
Marc Chernoff says
@Clay: I love your take on curiosity. The more curious you are, the more possibilities you will open throughout your lifetime. My hope is that everyone takes time to open their eyes and look around.
@Susan: Way to recognize this and make time for yourself. As you can now confirm, it makes a difference to your own well-being.
@Kevin Benson: Welcome to the community and thank you for the extremely kind words. =)
@Mary: Life is about trusting yourself and taking chances, losing and finding happiness, learning from experience, appreciating the memories, and realizing that every step is worth your while… But you’ve got to be willing to take each step. You’ve got to give yourself a fair chance. You are an inspiration!
@Christy King: Words to live by.
@Sandra Pawula: I couldn’t agree more. Angel and I started mediating first thing every morning and it has made a noticeable difference in our lives.
@Kevin Halls: So simple but what a world of difference positivity can make. Your comment reminded me of this line from one of my recent articles: “You may have seen better days, but you have also seen worse. You might not have all your wants, but you do have all your needs. You woke up with a few aches and pains, but you woke up. Your life may not be perfect, but it is good. And more good things are coming down the road as long as you keep moving forward. Life is still good.”
@David Rapp: Great point, as always.
@L: Great advice! I love your little side-note. =)
@Rob: A new take on being thankful. I love it! I’ll give it a try.
@Maddie: Thank you for all the love. I think the article you may be referring to is: 140 Ways to Change the World
@Miisa: I am exactly the same way. Finishing a project or a portion of a project gives me the satisfaction of accomplishment at the end the day.
@All: Angel and I learn something new every time we read through your comments. Thank you for opening our eyes and providing new rituals we can test out ourselves. The more time we spend on positivity, gratefulness and love, the happier we’ll be.
omoike alexander says
Thanks so much for this inspiring post… i have learned a lot from your posts and the changes are so evident now. Like you said, that’s the only way to know – seeing your growth.
To add to this list, I would say we should always remember to be grateful to God at all times.
Francine Parker says
Fantastic article!
Lisa F says
Very inspiring and though provoking. Thank you for this positive Outline. I believe we must all be connected to a committed spiritual path. A higher power greater than ourselves. Daily prayer and meditation brings peace to my soul, spirit and mind. For me, God is first in all that I do. My true desire is line myself up with all that is good and brings forth light in this world while trusting I can prosper in health, joy, and success in all I do. I would add – Commit yourself to a positive Spiritual path daily
ravenjanedoh says
Excellent post.
Nikola Gjakovski says
Stay hungry, stay foolish! Great post 🙂
Kaolee says
I absolutely love this list! I know that I want all these things, but sometimes my actions doesn’t quite follow what I actually want.
Ian says
Really liked this blog post and my favourite one is the last one about asking yourself the right questions. I believe that what we should ask ourself is QUALITY questions.
And by quality I mean those questions that provoke an owner answer rather than a victim answer.
So instead of saying “Why does this always happen to me?” use a QUALITY question such as “How can I do this differently next time to get a different result?”
By using quality questions in my life it has made a great difference.
Thanks for the points though, nice to have a reminder!!!
tina says
So good! Glad I read this.
kathy says
All things mentioned, so obvious, yet so ignored. Thanks for the reminder. We all need that from time to time.
Lisa Murray says
Thanks for sharing your insights, Marc and Angel! As a lover of Brene Brown’s, “The Gift of Imperfection” and a former perfectionist, my favorite ritual is to acknowledge my brokenness and consciously embrace the gift of compassion for myself. This creates a place of peace for me to begin my day and allows me to experience the beauty of humanity without needing so much from it.
Courtney says
What a great article! I especially feel drawn toward number 10. Loosening your grip, letting go of what you don’t need or want anymore… It’s so freeing!
Jeanette says
I sure needed this article today – and I can always be sure to find something inspiring and thought provoking here on your blog. Thank you for the gentle lift of encouragement we all need sometimes.
Lizzy says
Great list! One thing I do each day is remember to forgive myself for past and present mistakes. I beat myself up for too many years, chastising myself about all that I did wrong….what a waste of valuable time. As I forgive myself – I feel peace.