When things go wrong, don’t go with them.
“I don’t want to feel overwhelmed. I’m tired of the anxiety and stress. Too often my mind is consumed with negative thoughts and my body is filled with physical tension. It hurts. I don’t want to feel like this. I don’t want to feel like I live in a whirlwind of exhaustion 24/7. I don’t want to just ‘get by’ day to day…”
Those are the opening lines right out of a live chat session I had last night with a long-time reader and recent course student of ours. I’m sharing this with you today (with permission) because, in slightly different words, I’ve literally heard this same message from coaching clients, students and readers 1,000+ times over the past decade.
Can you relate? To an extent, I bet you can. Sometimes we all can.
Whenever I’m coaching someone who shares these feelings, I gracefully shift their focus from what they don’t want to what they DO want. Because I know that what we focus on grows stronger in our lives. I remind them that their life story is an expression of who they believe themselves to be – the thoughts and words they choose to express themselves, gradually shapes the core of their identity and destiny.
So let me ask you this:
How have you written your story so far? Have you put your thoughts and words to positive use? If I eavesdropped on your self-talk or your conversations with others, would I hear statements that create happiness, or statements that refute it?
Your ability to write a positive life story hinges on your language. It is your inner and outer verbal expression that makes your joy possible and that infuses your life with purpose, meaning and vitality.
So today, I challenge you to replace your negative thoughts and words with positive alternatives. Take a look at the quotes below that I have selected from our blog archive. Pick one (or more) of them that relates to your present troubles, and use it as a mantra by repeating it to yourself every time you feel negativity creeping up inside you.
- If the grass looks greener on the other side… Stop staring. Stop comparing. Stop complaining and start watering the grass you’re standing on.
- Satisfaction is not always the fulfillment of what you want; it is the realization of how blessed you are for what you have.
- Sometimes you just have to look back at your past and smile about how far you’ve come.
- Just because it didn’t last forever, doesn’t mean it wasn’t worth your while.
- For everything you’ve lost, you’ve gained something else. Appreciate what you have today. Life does not have to be perfect to be wonderful.
- Just because you are struggling does NOT mean you are failing. Every great success requires some kind of struggle to get there.
- You cannot expect victory while planning for defeat.
- Even though you cannot control everything that happens, you can control your attitude toward what happens. And in that, you will be mastering change rather than allowing it to master you.
- Use your struggles and frustrations today to motivate you rather than annoy you. You are in control of the way you look at life.
- Stop beating yourself up. You are a work in progress; which means you get there a little at a time, not all at once.
- Sometimes things must change so you can change. Sometimes you must break a little so you can get a peek inside to see what an awesome powerhouse you are. Sometimes mistakes must be made so wisdom can be earned. Sometimes you must overcome heartache so you can begin to follow your heart again.
- The true measure of your success is how many times you can bounce back from failure.
- Sometimes the wrong choices bring us to the right places. To be creative and productive in life, you must first lose your resistance to being wrong.
- When you are no longer able to change a situation, you are challenged to change yourself.
- If you feel like your ship is sinking, it might be a good time to throw out the unnecessary stuff that’s been weighing it down. (Read The Power of Less.)
- Stepping onto a brand new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation that no longer fits, or no longer exists.
- The story of your life has many chapters. One bad chapter doesn’t mean it’s the end. So stop re-reading the bad one already and turn the page.
- The truth is, unless you let go, unless you forgive yourself, unless you forgive the situation, unless you accept that the situation is over, you cannot move forward.
- Yes, it takes hard work to let go and refocus your life, but it’s worth every bit of effort you can muster.
- Head up, heart open. To better days approaching!
- You’re never as good as everyone says when you win, and you’re never as terrible as they tell you when you lose. The important thing is what you’ve learned, and what you’re doing with it.
- Be careful about who you give the microphone and stage to in your life. Don’t just listen to the loudest voice. Listen to the truest one.
- You’re not a failure because you can’t be all things to all people. You’re a human.
- Never allow someone or something that adds very little to your life, to control so much of it.
- Never surrender your hopes and dreams to the tragic limitations others have placed on their own lives. The vision of your true destiny does not reside within the narrow-minded outlook of naysayers. Focus on facts, not judgments. (Marc and I discuss this in more detail in the “Self-Love” chapter of 1,000 Little Things Happy, Successful People Do Differently.)
- Don’t sit around. Start moving! In the beginning you may not go in the direction you dream, but as long as you’re moving, you’re creating possibilities.
- You may be the only person left who believes in you, but that’s enough. It takes the glimmer of just one star to pierce a universe of darkness. Never give up on yourself.
- Encourage yourself, believe in yourself, and love yourself today. Never doubt who you are.
- You are not a victim. No matter what you have been through, you are still here now. You may have been challenged, hurt, betrayed, beaten, and discouraged, but nothing has defeated you. You have been delayed but not denied.
- You have to accept whatever comes your way, and the only important thing is that you meet it with the best you have to give. Nothing more, nothing less.
- 99% of the time, the only thing standing between you and your goal is the fateful story you keep telling yourself as to why you can’t achieve it. (Read The Miracle Morning.)
- You were put on this earth to achieve your greatest self, to live out your purpose, and to do it courageously.
- Whether you say, “I can” or “I can’t,” you’re right either way.
- All great achievements require time. And all great achievements are worth your time.
- The person who moves a mountain begins by carrying away small stones.
- When things are tough, you must be tougher. Don’t pray for an easy life. Pray for the strength to endure a tough one that leads to success.
- If you want to be happy and bright, let go of your need to always be right.
- Worry is a massive waste of time and energy. It doesn’t change anything. All it does is steal your joy and hinder your ability to make positive changes.
- Sometimes you simply have to stop worrying, wondering, and doubting. Have faith that things will work out, maybe not how you planned, but just how it’s meant to be.
- In life, you usually get what you ask for, eventually, and it rarely comes in the package you think it’s supposed to come in.
Your turn…
What’s one mantra or personal reminder that helps you stay positive when life gets stressful? Please share it with us by leaving a reply below.
Dev says
Angel, I love when you put together these lists of quotes from your large archive of posts. It’s like you’re aggregating years of wisdom into one digestible read.
Anyway, as a longtime reader of yours, I’m going to use this opportunity to promote your book. It is fantastic, and it has changed my thoughts from negative to positive.
I have many positive mantras, many of which I have taken directly from your book over the past couple years.
One particular quote of yours that I have pasted to my bulletin board, and frequently repeat to myself:
“No matter how chaotic the past has been, the future is a clean, fresh, wide open slate. You are not your past habits. You are not your past failures. You are not how others have at one time treated you. You are only who you think you are right now in this moment. You are only what you do right now in this moment.”
Olawale says
I really love this. It’s good motivation for though movements in life, and everyone does encounter the tough side of life. God bless!
Angel Chernoff says
Thank you for the continued support. It means the world to us.
Rachel says
Just what I needed to hear in my life right now, because lately I’ve been anything but positive. Thank you for the continued inspiration and insights.
PS: I’ve already shared this post with a few friends on Facebook who I know can benefit from it too.
Amandah says
I’ll second what Dev said. Your words have helped me find positivity in some very stressful situations.
I always read a post, email or page of your book (or one of the books or posts you’ve recommended) almost every day before I start to work. It keeps me in a light, refreshed mood and creates a kind of peace and awareness that somehow encourages me to face the day positively and productively. This truly helps a lot in getting me back on track whenever stressful situations pull me down.
Oh, and this post is a gem! Thanks a lot.
Katherine says
My mantra? Be the person now you will be proud of when you look back in ten years. Helps keep the bitterness and selfishness at bay.
Jenifer says
My mantra:
Run the mile you are in.
(Be present.)
Sandra Pawula says
I love the idea of having a phrase to repeat over and over to remind myself to stay on track. This is one of my favorites: “You were put on this earth to achieve your greatest self, to live out your purpose, and to do it courageously.”
Ritu says
I agree with your thought too, Dev. I’ve gotten so used to reading your blogs, Marc and Angel – that if I don’t read it for a couple of days I feel I’m missing a part of my Life 🙂
My Mantra: None but ourselves can free our Minds.
Since I’ve started following this, I feel very much at peace. I believe I have the power to change my thoughts and not to get affected with the surroundings, I feel really awesome these days. Thank you ppl 🙂
Angel Chernoff says
I’m so glad we’re able to help out in some small way, Ritu.
gertrude says
I’m taking care of my 81yr old Mom and she’s got Dementia. I’m so depressed sometimes. Reading your posts really inspire me to be a better, more giving person. It’s like you’re reading my mind and I feel you’re talking to me. Thanks for all the positive posts. #Stayblessed
Cheryl Ramsay says
Just went through taking care of mom with dementia. She passed away 2/1/15.. This does leave you depressed & sad since the disease robs your loved one of themself. Mark and Angels website and book have helped me tremendously as well as grief bereavement support group for families. Im now alone starting over.
Leeann says
Right now my two mantras are:
1. Right now this is life and it’s okay.
2. I love myself, therefore… Because it is difficult to tell yourself something negative in the same breath as “I love myself.”
Thank you for your inspiration!
Todd Lohenry says
Love the new site design! I’m a developer and it inspires me along with the rest of your content. Your thoughts have a fitting home…
Angel Chernoff says
Thanks for the positive feedback about the design. We’re loving it.
Elsie Goycoolea says
I love this positive dose! One of my mantras has been “Life is not measured by the number of breaths you take but by the moments that take your breath away” –> Live fully!
Frank says
Sometimes one must give in order to get. In a Men’s group study at my church we always started our study by saying out loud, “ONE MUST DIE IN ORDER TO LIVE”
Theresa says
My mantra I choose is: Just because it didn’t last forever, doesn’t mean it wasn’t worth your while!
It reminds me of Neal Donald Walsh’s quote “No Effort Is Ever Wasted. Although some pay dividends later than you think. Do not imagine that you ‘wasted your time” because something didn’t turn out right. There is no such thing as “waste” in the Universe. Everything – everything yields benefit. It’s true. And your life will show you this. So don’t decry the ‘effort that failed. All things lead to your highest good. You just may not know it yet.”
Joseph Ratliff says
The harder you try to resist the moving current of life, the faster it will overwhelm you. Instead, flow with it.
Janey says
Absolutely loved this one:
If the grass looks greener on the other side… Stop staring. Stop comparing. Stop complaining and start watering the grass you’re standing on.
Gia Nayak says
My mantra to stay positive is: “Life is a surprise gift, be curious and enthusiastic every time, every moment, to receive it.”
Dianne says
I wake up each day and I’m thankful for all that I have and happy that I’m in good health to achieve greater things.
EEDRIS says
If you want to be happy and bright, let go of your need to always be right.
Diane says
All these mantras are great advice! The two that spoke to me are “Head up, Heart open! To better days approaching!” and “The person who moves a mountain begins by carrying away small stones.”
Joy says
For years I have two mantras:
* A day without a smile is a lost day.
* Life does not have to be perfect to be wonderful.
Keep up the amazing work and blog!
Cindy C. says
Thanks to those who shared the following quotes with me:
Live in the question: What can I do, how can I be today to align and resonate with the life I choose to create for myself?
I live by kindness, and by my brain. That is, I try to think kindly whenever I can. It is through kindness that I can feel peace replace fear.
Don’t look for obstacles; look for magic.
Cheryl Ramsay says
Daily dose of positive affirmations from Marc & Angel always start my day and attitude off positive & hopeful.
Sherman Smith says
Hey Angel,
These are great reminders of being who I am, growth with it, and use that growth to conquer every obstacle that comes in my premises! Thanks for sharing these great mantras! Have a great day!
systym says
8, 15, & 38 really hit home today. Needed this. Thanks again for putting this together. ^_^
Jane says
15, 21, 22 resonate with me the most.
When I’m worried about something or have an anxiety about having to have or be something, I tell myself that nothing is as bad as it seems, and nothing is as good as it seems.
Stan says
I try to live a simple life, and for the most part it is wonderful. Occasionally something comes along that makes life more difficult and I try to stay positive. This month I have been trying to solve a problem with the IRS. The bank reported that I withdrew retirement funds, when I actually transferred them from one bank to another. I’ve sent proof 3 times, and it just gets worse. Now I have penalties and interest on top of the original problem. I’m sure somehow this will work out, but I hope I don’t get an ulcer before it is all fixed.
I think I’ll use many of these mantras to try to calm myself until everything is handled. I have read your blog for about 2 years now. What a difference it has made in how I look at things. Thanks for providing such great wisdom, many times at the exact time I need it most.
Dawn says
My thirty something daughter recently shared with me the idea of saying to yourself “Plot Twist” – when something unexpectedly brings a challenge. First, it makes me laugh outloud which in turn changes my mindset and perspective. But seriously, thank you Marc and Angel for your amazing work! It has helped me change my thought process and in turn changed how I am experiencing my life. Blessings to you for your committment!
Angel Chernoff says
I love this concept! “Plot twist!” 😉
Thanks for sharing it with us.
Janie says
I read so many motivational blogs, many of which have been so helpful and inspiring… But whenever one particularly relates to my way of thinking, or speaks to me most profoundly, I can almost be certain it will be one of yours! Such wisdom and inspiration!
One of my favourite mantras is: “Don’t take it personally – it says far more about them than it does about me”… whatever ‘it’ is.
Bello Ahmed says
Few will have the greatness to bend history itself but each of us can work to change a small portion of events and in the sum total of all these acts shall be written the history of our Nation.
Roxie says
Sometimes I need to remind myself: “This is not the end of the world. The end of the world looks very different.”
And also, no matter what the day has brought, I say at bedtime, “Thank you, Lord, for another good day.”
Sandy Molle says
My mantra used to be “I am centered. God is with me. Lighten up!” More recently I have been incorporating brain science to encourage the three levels of my brain to calm with “I am safe, I am grateful, I am loved.” “I am safe,” calms my ‘lizard brain. “I am grateful,” calms my amygdala/mammalian brain. “I am loved,” calms my human brain.
Sherri Pratcher says
Time waits for no man so today I choose to be happy!
Suzy says
This list of 40 will be printed out and placed with my daily meditations for frequent review. Every single tip was speaking directly to me; especially #36 as I have for years always prayed for strength and not the easy way out. Thanks for sharing–really loved it.
Angel Chernoff says
So glad you resonate deeply with this post, Suzy. I actually have many of these mantras printed or written out too.
Aijika says
What a beautiful article! This is helpful those who people are emotional and irritable. I will share this on Facebook.
Donna says
I always enjoy your posts. I love that Suzy has a daily meditation file to review… what an awesome idea! My mantra when my inner voice is being negative is “Practice an attitude of gratitude”. It usually sets me straight! Thank you for the positive thoughts!
Garima says
My one and only mantra is – This too shall pass…. Good or bad, it’s all impermanent!!
Maxon says
Excellent mantras.
My mantra: Breathe…
Tina W says
The things you take for granted, someone else is praying for…reminds me to be humble and grateful for everything I do have.
Maureen Rhodin says
I am lovable and huggable.
Johnny says
My one positive mantra lies in four simple words: “This too shall pass.”
In dark times, it gives me hope to keep on fighting. When things are going well, it reminds me to cherish and live in the moment :]
rexayo says
Thank you so much for this post.
Nanette says
When I’m caught up in comparing and judging myself and others, “Everybody looks normal until you get to know them”, pulls me back to the reality that we’re all struggling with something and the playing field is more level than it looks.
I also recently came across this, attributed to Coco Chanel, “I don’t care what you think of me. I don’t think about you at all.”
As someone who is preoccupied with what others may or may not be thinking of me, I first found this to be quite rude. After thinking about the creative person that Coco Chanel was, I realized that it is a really, really good piece of advice.
Instead of reading, “I don’t care about you,” I now read, “I don’t spend/waste my time looking for your approval and/or judging you. I focus on the things that are going to get me what I want out of life.”
Yeah, I extrapolated a little there, but this has been useful for me and my need for permission to be myself. And to get over myself!
Thanks for everything you’re doing to help others live the best lives they can no matter their circumstances!
Alise Oliver says
I absolutely love #39. You do just need to trust that everything will work out. Steve Jobs has a great quote, something like “you can’t connect the dots looking forward, you can only connect them looking back. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future…etc.” So to me that means just trust that the Universe is working in your best interests.
Thanks so much for all you do. You have changed my life. Hugs.
BlackDiamond says
Another phenomenal compilation of principles for living. Thank your for putting it together and sharing and reminding us.
As far as my contribution, I’m a huge Jim Rohn follower (may he R.I.Paradise) so I would like to share some of his principles that I adhere to in my journey:
“Your wants shows up in your conversation, but your expectations shows up in your behavior and subsequently in your actions” – Jim Rohn
“Don’t let your learning lead to knowledge. Let your learning lead to action.” — Jim Rohn
“If you wish to be successful, study success. If you wish to be happy, study happiness. If you want to make more money, study the acquisition of wealth. Those who achieve things don’t do it by accident. It’s a matter of studying first, then practicing second.” Jim Rohn
“We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit. Jim Rohn”
#AllergicToAverage
Angel Chernoff says
Marc and I love Jim Rohn! Thanks for sharing.
ReyBan3 says
These mantras are wonderful and I will incorporate to my own. My own mantra that I try to follow each day is : to discover my true self I must be willing to accept whatever life gives me. And “try to leave the world a better place”
Adun says
Thank’s for sharing, I like it….
Angel Chernoff says
And to everyone…
THANK YOU. Your willingness to share with us always motivates the writing of the next article.
It all comes full circle. 🙂
Robert Arellano says
Keep the positive vibes rolling! It’s definitely a domino effect.
Landon says
#39 is a great reminder. It’s easy to worry about what might happen instead of being in the moment. This is a great list, thanks for the share!
kay says
Very inspirational. Anxiety playing havoc in my life. This list is a reminder to have faith.
Katherine Swarts says
God’s power is made perfect in my weakness; therefore, I am strongest when I accept my weakness. (Cf. 2 Corinthians 12:9-10.)