by Thanh Pham of Asian Efficiency
If you’re stuck and you don’t know how to rise, don’t look outside yourself. Look inside.
Have you ever felt like you were racing around in circles without making much forward progress? I know I have, many times. In the past I caught myself feeling stuck more often than I wanted to admit, and eventually I knew I needed to find a new roadmap. I was feeling utterly depressed and trapped by the same old problems and scenery. I needed to free myself!
The first thing I learned as I struggled to find my way is this:
Fear is the cage that keeps you stuck. Faith is the key that sets you free.
And the second thing I learned is that getting unstuck isn’t just a single action – it’s a process – a life-changing journey. And all journeys begin with a call to adventure, and this call is different for all of us.
Here are ten strategies (“calls”) that I’ve successfully implemented over the years to help clients and myself get unstuck, mentally and physically, even when doing so seemed impossible.
1. Relocate Yourself to an Inspiring Environment
One of the simplest ways to get unstuck is to simply shift your environment.
For example, if you went from this:
To this:
Your mind and state of … “stuck” … would shift rapidly.
And the great thing is, it doesn’t have to be that dramatic a shift. You can go for a walk in a nearby park. You can jet out of the office for a cup of coffee. Or if you’re at home, you can simply go to a different room in the house.
Two of my favorite things to do when I’m feeling stuck on a particular task are:
- Going to a nearby park for a 45-minute power-walk in the woods.
- Meditating for 20 minutes in the back the city library, and then reading a chapter or two of a great book.
We live in an amazing world and we are all blessed with inspiring environments around us – especially those of us fortunate enough to live in developed countries. Whether it’s urban spaces, parks, libraries, museums or even our own backyards, there are plenty of available sources that we can draw inspiration and strength from.
2. Go Back to What’s Important
One of the models that we use to help clients and customers at Asian Efficiency is the idea of core values, beliefs and goals.
As a quick overview:
- Core Values are the big ideals that we have, like benchmarks for happiness, generosity, or success.
- Beliefs are the hundreds and thousands of smaller things we believe in, whether it’s “the sun will rise tomorrow morning” or “people should treat others as they would like to be treated.”
- Goals are the outcomes in life that we strive for.
When we get stuck, it can be extremely useful to come back to these three things: core values, beliefs and goals. Why? Because they form the fabric of what is important to us as individuals. They act as a reminder of who we are, how we got to where we are now, and what it is that will carry us forward into the future, no matter what may come our way.
3. Follow the White Rabbit
“Follow the white rabbit.”
– Trinity, The Matrix
In both The Matrix and the original Through the Looking Glass, “follow the white rabbit” refers to following whatever inspires us.
It can be an idea, a hunch… or anything else. Even the tiniest, most seemingly insignificant thought can spiral into a masterpiece of creation, if we let it.
Whether it’s an article on www.marcandangel.com, an incredibly inspirational quote, or a comment or story from a friend, we can take something small and use it to break free of limiting thought patterns.
Our company name, Asian Efficiency, comes from a small, humorous comment that my friend Nick made ten years ago – “The only reason you guys are efficient is because you’re Asian.” Ten years later, we’ve helped hundreds of thousands of people around the world become more efficient, productive and live happier and more fulfilling lives. And no, they’re not all Asian! 😉
4. Believe in the Universe, and Practice Patience
“There are no accidents.”
– Oogway, Kung Fu Panda
When we’re stuck it can sometimes feel like universe is working against us – the people around us, the world at large, and definitely the circumstances we find ourselves in.
It’s important to have belief – to have faith, trust and hope – that the universe is not a bad place, or for that matter, a good place. The universe simply IS. But what the universe does do is reward people who nurture the positive, patiently. If you firmly believe that positive things can happen, they gradually will. If you firmly believe that you can get unstuck and move onward, you gradually will.
Focus on what you can control, and let the greater powers handle the uncontrollable circumstances. With enough time, effort and learning, the universe will present you with a solution. So continue being patient through your growth process. And as Marc and Angel say in 1,000 Little Things Happy, Successful People Do Differently:
“Remember, patience is not about waiting around, it’s the ability to keep a positive attitude while working hard for what you believe in.”
5. Embrace the Natural Pathways
One of the core things that we help clients with at Asian Efficiency is the construction of Systems.
Now most people think of systems as something mechanical or man-made – something cold, without soul, and machine-like. This couldn’t be further from the truth. You see, all a system is, really, is a way of working things out – of getting unstuck.
In fact, a system is nothing more than a natural pathway of thought that someone has created with their mind.
Whether it’s a system for making a cup of tea, a system for overcoming fear, or a system for managing a team of people, a system is simply a way of thinking that someone has created – and that other people now use to help them accomplish certain tasks or overcome certain challenges.
So when you get stuck, there’s no need to go back to the drawing board. Ask the people around you about the systems that are working for them, read insightful books and blog articles, and use the same methods and pathways that others have used to get unstuck.
6. Ask for Help
One of the biggest secrets of highly happy and successful people is that they didn’t get there by themselves. Very often, they have a supporting cast of friends, family, mentors and others who help them thrive. All details aside, they always ask for help when they need it, and they enjoy helping others who genuinely want to succeed as well.
When you ask someone for help, you aren’t bothering them, or being a nuisance – you are creating the possibility that 1+1 = more than 2. Because, as human beings, we learn when we teach too – we learn in our roles as both a teacher and a student.
At Asian Efficiency, one of our core values is Pull Others Up. This means that whenever we’re able to, we want to help others succeed. We want to “pull them up” so to speak. And we love doing it. There’s nothing more fulfilling than seeing others we have helped do as well as we have, or even better.
When you’re stuck, don’t be afraid to ask for help. And don’t be afraid to reach out and help someone who’s even more stuck than you.
7. Break the Cycle of Worry and Work on Something Else
One of the amazing things about productivity and efficiency that I discovered early on in my personal journey is the power of Creative Procrastination. This is also known as “working on something else.”
When you have an arduous task ahead of you, like having a difficult conversation with someone, you’ll find that you want to procrastinate. This is perfectly normal, and understandable. In fact, in many cases you should procrastinate and give yourself enough time to get your thoughts right – but do it resourcefully. Instead of just sitting there stumped and hiding from this person, go do something else that invigorates your mind and allows you to think more freely – perhaps journaling, meditating, painting, playing guitar, or exercising.
You have to let your mind and body to connect, process and prepare for the arduous task ahead. By keeping your attention focused on the right things, it will do exactly that, and when you come back later, you’ll find yourself better able to handle the arduous task with less stress and anxiety.
8. Respect Your Frequency
One of the tenets of Eastern Philosophy, in particular, Taoism, is that we all have a natural frequency that we vibrate and respond to.
If you find yourself stuck, it could simply be that you are currently off-frequency for some reason.
We are all beings of unlimited potential, but we were most definitely not designed to do everything. We all have things that we’re naturally drawn to, talents that come easy to us, and skills that we’ve mastered.
You need to respect your natural frequency and tendencies. Some people perform at their best in solitude, while others perform at their best while surrounded by others. Some people are great at pulling things apart and then putting them back together, while others are great at assembling creative masterpieces on a blank canvas.
When you find yourself stuck, you could be in the wrong environment, working under the wrong conditions, or very simply, in the wrong state of mind. To get unstuck, you just need to think, reassess, and then try something a little different – make a small shift in your approach or routine. See how it goes for a month and then reassess things again.
9. Walk Through the Door
“I’m trying to free your mind, Neo. But I can only show you the door. You’re the one that has to walk through it.”
– Morpheus, The Matrix
Sometimes all we need to get unstuck is to simply take the next step in our journey. Almost always, the barriers that we have in front of us are psychological – not physical. There are no material walls, gates or barricades stopping us from moving forward. When this is the truth in your life, all you need to do is take the metaphorical “next step.” You have to get yourself moving in the right direction again, one small step at a time.
At Asian Efficiency, we call this Solar Flaring – the idea that a solar flare on the sun begins small, but that once it starts moving, it explodes with energy and motion. All it needs is that tiny bit of momentum to get things going.
10. Begin Again in the Morning
“Success consists of getting up just one more time than you fall.”
– Oliver Goldsmith
If you find yourself truly stuck today, and you’ve worked yourself to exhaustion, remember, tomorrow morning is a new beginning.
There’s absolutely nothing wrong with stopping, refilling your bucket, sleeping, and starting fresh again in the morning.
Tomorrow is another opportunity to try again and learn something new.
This is NOT failure, and it’s not giving up. This is the process of learning. It’s being a smart, intelligent, living being and recognizing that sometimes it’s better to rest and to try again when you’re fresh.
Your turn (and a FREE GIVEAWAY drawing)…
What would you add to this list?
What do you do to free your mind, motivate yourself, and make tiny bits of progress when you’re feeling stuck?
Leave a comment below and share your thoughts with the community, and you will be automatically entered into a free drawing to win paperback versions of Thanh’s three favorite productivity books shipped to your front door (Getting Things Done, Eat That Frog!, and Switch).
Here’s how the drawing will work: We will print out all the reader comments individually, fold them up, put them into a box, and randomly draw one winner out of the box next Sunday evening (Oct. 18th) at 8PM EST. Then, a comment will be added below with the winner’s name, we will email them to get their shipping address, and finally the three books mentioned above (that Thanh graciously donated to us for this free giveaway) will be shipped.
Author Bio: This is a guest post by Thanh Pham of Asian Efficiency. He is a passionate coach, writer and entrepreneur who has helped thousands of people become more productive, more successful, and happier in their lives, one day at a time. Get his free Productivity Toolbox here.
Christian says
What do I do to free my mind and motivate myself when I’m feeling stuck? I read one of Marc and Angel’s emails, or a couple pages of their book, of course. 😉
Thanks for the excellent article. I’m looking forward to winning the three books! Haha!
Donna Sutton says
Your tips on getting unstuck are point on. I often have to stop myself and reassess because I’m trying too hard – the typical over-achiever, people pleaser. When I do, I can then free up my mind to process thoughts better and get organized and reinvigorated. Thanks for these great reminders. I love my daily emails. Donna
maja says
Beautiful, useful and gently written advice. Thank you. One question though for anyone who’s reading: How can I be sure I am “only” stuck and actually not depressed? Just fear talking, I know.. 🙂 Thanks for any advice if you have it.
-Maja
Donna Sutton says
Hi Maja,
One thing you might want to ask yourself, and repeatedly, is, “What do I want?” And make a list. If you can’t answer this, and you don’t start to feel anything moving forward, or if you just don’t feel any joy (ever), then maybe you are depressed.
That said, sometimes a short period of depression is just a process of grieving something in your life. If it’s a longer period, then you need to act on it. Peace.
Rose Costas says
Hi Maya I read your comment and for someone who has been there I can tel you that being stuck is feeling like you aren’t making any head way. You can easily take a break, go for a jog and return to it in a few minutes or another day. Being depressed you are in the dumps and cannot seem to find your way out. It is more serious than taking a break to recharge. Being depressed you feel hopeless and sad more often than a few minutes at a time. if you are feeling sad and hopeless you might need professional help. Hope I was able to help.
MJ says
Excellent article!
I think what often keeps us stuck in tough situations is we don’t realize the power we possess to change our thinking, and thus our situation.
What helps me is answering a question Marc asked me during a GBTH course Skype call a few months back:
“Who would you be, and what else would you see, if you erased the thought that’s worrying you?”
I find this question to be very powerful — it helps me focus on moving forward when I’m stuck in my own negative thoughts.
PS: I’m ready to win those books! 🙂
Elizabeth says
This resonates with me. Thinking of it as a process helps. Your advice is always on point to me.
Azucena Barrera says
New subscriber here, but I have already learned so much by reading your posts. I feel as if you two are speaking directly to me. I am at a crossroads in my life and I have definitely put some of your guidance to use. Thank you!
Pai Meng says
great tips!
sm says
I have been reading your posts all day. I suppose I am looking for an answer to a whole bunch of problems that are spinning in my head. This one has helped more then most. TY.
Pat says
Ditto Dear one….that’s how I feel.
kirsten Murphy says
This is exactly what I needed to read this morning. After a prolonged bout of illness I’ve been getting increasingly frustrated at feeling stuck & need an alternative approach or mindswitch. Thank you
Anya says
First, when I feel stuck I pray and read my bible and ask for strength from God. Second, as much as possible I step forward no matter what – I try new things and change routines – whatever it takes to get started. Third, I focus on not looking back at the past because it just makes me feel stuck.
Suzanne Tassche says
I can’t agree with you more. Something bigger than ourselves has to give us the push, Searching out other people is just another unreliable source of help. Latch on to God or to whatever your higher power is to you, and pray for guidance.
Lynne demond says
I break my big goals down into small pieces and write them down as tasks on my todo list. If im stuck on the piece that im working on i move to another piece to work on that. Its amazing to see how much more you can accomplish towards your big goals by embedding them in your day to day tasks.
Lisa says
A couple things I do: I put on some music and bake. There is something refreshing about listening to music, making something and the wonderful smells! Another thing I do is go for a bike ride. As I pedal I feel better and better.
Pooja says
It was my first time ever I went through your site and trust me I sat all night to read it because it was way interesting and was helping me out with my current scenario.
And I guess you have doing a great work since, as many people are trying to figure out what’s going on with them and in their life . so in that situation reading one of your blogs helps alot .
And trust me this was much needed to me at this point .
And yeahhh that brisk walk thing . I do it and it helps you alot as you are drained off and you actually breathe in some fresh air 🙂
Thanks alot and keep doing it 🙂
Marie Fleese says
I work in either my flower or vegetable gardens. Physical activity always calms me. I love to garden it frees my mind.
DAYVEED says
Thanks…. Great tips
Marie Fleese says
I work in either my vegetables or flower gardens. This calms me and gives me a sense of accomplishment.
Lina says
Its a great article, and has good ideas. What i find very difficult is to get them to work. When you read advices it makes sence, but for me to put them into practice is very hard. I do want to change some things but i seem to keep going back to that circle that i so want to leave and delete out of my life.. How to put these advises in practice?
Betsy says
When I get stuck I do something creative. For me that’s cooking but it could be anything that enables you to make something out of nothing. Perhaps painting or writing or music.
Diane Catrambone says
I call it “getting air in my hair” when I’m stuck. I stop what I’m doing, respectfully putting my desk in some kind of “order” with a blessing that I will return when divine timing is right. Then, I take myself out to nature, find a willing tree, and sit under it. I enjoy the air I breathe and the sounds of the wind and animals. When I’m calm, still and centered I will, mostly every time, get the answer that will move me forward.
Simon says
I found out on Saturday that my wife wants a divorce. Not to go into details but this is my reality and I feel stuck in the face of fear and the future. So much of your article speaks directly to me and I’m truly grateful. My only addition would be: be kind to yourself to give yourself the space to go through the process. Like been tossed, and thrown around by a huge wave, just hold your breath and let the wave pass. Then focus on what you can do. I find every now and then I’m so angry with myself and want to blame and beat myself up or do something stupid… then I remember to hold my breath and let the wave pass.
Shawn says
Mind blown!!!
Colleen says
I enjoyed the article and feel it is refreshing to be reminded of all the options there is to pull ourselves back into the flow. Maybe one thing that could be added is to remember to laugh…we can be so hard on ourselves and it can help to lighten up.
I would really appreciate the books if I win…thankyou
Lucie says
Great advice to help me as I struggle with staying in the “8-5 job” or take a leap to take my part time business to full time.
Thinking of it as a process will make me less anxious!
I’ve been following you Marc & Angel for a year and have bought your books…..and I always look forward to your next email!
Thank you so much for all you do!!!
Mira says
Prayer, silence, affirmations and visualization.
Nanette says
I give myself permission. When I’m feeling stuck or overwhelmed by challenging situations, I give myself permission to practice whichever of the suggestions you’ve made are appropriate for the situation. Usually, it’s do just one thing towards my goal. That almost always leads to just one more thing, and then the next, and the next thing I know I’m in the flow. There are times, however, when that doesn’t work. That’s when I give myself permission to practice either creative or practical procrastination. You mentioned creative procrastination in your article; practical procrastination is doing little chores that help put my environment in order and remove “excuses” for not being able to move forward in dealing with the bigger challenges, more of a maintenance mode, than a creative/productive one. The trick there is to keep the chores in baby step mode or I can end up completely sidetracked from my original purpose and goal.
Giving myself permission breaks through whatever it is that “says” that I can’t change my perspective, or honor my frequency, or take any of the other positive steps you’ve shared. Giving myself permission gives me the freedom to do hard things with grace, a quiet joy, and a sense of satisfaction.
Thank you for this excellent list.
Karen Pollock says
When I feel stuck, I write in my gratitude journal, and remember all those things I am grateful for. Being grateful and seeing everything you have can take away those thoughts of being stuck.
Terry says
I have been reading articles for a few years now and can relate to so many points given. I am in the process of becoming “unstuck” and this journey has been a slow steady process for the past 2+ years. I thank Marc & Angel for their valuable insights and articles that have kept me on track. Patience, never give up on yourself!
Lauren says
I often find if I take a moment to experience gratitude the fear/anxiety I am experiencing quiets down for a moment and I get a chance to respond not react
Rose D says
Sometimes I think something is wrong with me – being ‘stuck’. I realize now it’s just something many of us exerience at different points in life! Thank you for a simple, no nonsense look at being stuck with suggestions on how to get unstuck!
Mo Chiasson says
When I find myself slipping into the void of procrastination fueled by fear, I clear my mind and think of the teachings of some of the great teachers of the world, such as God, Gandhi, Confucius, Socrates, Epictetus just to name a few,. I don’t mean to limit them, however, in that moment of reflection, The fear is morphed to creative thoughts, understanding and progress start to flow and a process starts to develop, and I find myself thinking clearly and moving forward at least in a direction towards a positive outcome of any given situation.
Mo
jane suckling says
I love to have your posts pop up in my inbox..they always make my day and seem appropriate. When I am stuck I dont wallow on the dark path but I remind myself that the journey I started on ..at this period of my life 3 years ago …began with a few brave steps ,some of the toughest I ever had to make …………and now my kids and I are so grateful for our new life. Failure can be a new beginning, the start of new adventures. Thank you for your posts they keep my inner flame burning,knowing there are so many good souls in the world. People sadly do encounter hurt and suffering but by training us to think differently you are helping so many to cope better.x
Carolina says
When I get stuck, I go for a walk. I live in New York City, so when I step out of my front door I am instantly immersed and stimulated by the bustling city. This sounds like it would make me more stuck, but by walking through parks, coffee shops, museums, and even something as simple as a building with beautiful architecture, I am able to get out of my head and focus on something else for a little while. I often come back feeling very inspired and with a new perspective that contributes to a current or new system I am practicing. Thank you for another enlightening article!
Barbara Wallace says
As someone who makes a living being creative, one of the best things I do to unstuck is to change media. If I’m having trouble writing on the computer, I move to long hand (or vice versa). I also look for music that might inspire me. Sometimes a simple change in background noise, such as putting on French 60s pop when writing about Paris, or Christmas music for a Christmas novel, will work wonders.
Nelson Almonte says
When I am feeling stuck, I use positive affirmations, do meditations for clarity, and play inspiring music that may include classical, subliminal (from Eldon Taylor) and healing sounds (CD’s from Jim Oliver). On clear days, I can also visit the Botanical Garden located near my house, and do mindful meditations while walking in nature. Of course, reading a chapter of your book “1,000 little things Happy Successful people do differently” jolts me back into a positive mind set. Any of these steps puts me right back in what Esther Hicks calls “The Vortex”. Lastly, I would remind everyone to keep a gratitude journal, and among the things that you should be grateful for, write out Mark & Angel e-mails with extremely useful and inspirational messages… Namaste.
Grace Dary says
(to free my mind, motivate myself, and make tiny bits of progress when I’m feeling stuck)
I would have to say that the best thing I have found to break free of that mindset is to go back. Go back to where I felt I was making great progress and look objectively at what made me veer away in a different direction.
Depending on how far I have gone down that other path, there are adjustments that will probably need to be made. Knowing that I have the power within myself to positively move forward motivates me to keep going until I reach the place I need to be.
There I can comfortably make conscious decisions about the inside and outside of myself that needs change or acceptance, in some cases.
Putting the fear behind me and letting go of any negative energy that could still hold me back, I am free to continue progressing into what I know is the right path for me.
Tania says
Sometimes we are our own worst critic and advocate. When unproductive, mean, recurring thoughts play over and over again, hit Pause, recognize the repeat, and say STOP as loud as necessary so that your Self hears you. Quit the loop of angry, self-deprecating thoughts.
Melanie says
Another great article.
Your emails always pop into my inbox at a time when I need them, and I was delighted to have a personal reply from Angel.
When I need to take time out no matter how bad I feel I put on my trainers and I run – those endorphins released in exercising definitely make me feel better.
Thanks for the inspiration
Nancy says
I am an artist, and so sometimes get creative block, where I can’t come up with anything to make, and nothing seems appealing to start. What I do is start cleaning up my space. I discover things I forgot I had, drawings and sketches of projects I wanted to start, and pretty soon I’m off creating again, and in a much neater work space!
I find cleaning to be meditative and it seems to free my mind from the “you have to produce!” freeze and allows creativity to flow once again.
Thanks for this wonderful post, and all the others past and future! I’m a big fan and have recommended your blog to many friends.
Chunk of Chi says
Why do I feel that this article was written intentionally (just) for me? I’m so stuck at the moment & really don’t know what to do… Been reading inspirational books, trying to relax, trying not to think about anything just to get my enthusiasm back but it’s not helping until I read this. Specifically no. 9 Walk Through the Door. This is exactly what I need: “Sometimes all we need to get unstuck is to simply take the next step in our journey.” Thank you so much for the inspiration!
Helen says
Thank you. Your articles are a big help to me in navigating life. I knit to free my mind, pray for others and the knitted items are given to others to keep them warm and know someone loves them and is thinking of them and sending them prayers.
Bless you both for making my life better and better,
Helen
Taylor Nipper says
In times of indecision or feelings of being stuck, I simply let go and let God.
Teri says
I’m usually really good at #4-letting go of things I can’t control; #5-systems (and making my systems more efficient); #7-I am a master procrastinator, creative or otherwise :); and #9-one small step at a time (I have one of Lao-Tsu’s quote taped on the wall where I can see it every day “A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single step”.)
Of late, I am feeling completely overwhelmed and stuck due to a number of things out of my control, but things I have to address and deal with nonetheless. Thank you for these great ideas! I think the biggest thing I need to do is ask for help.
Sharon Duffy says
This article came at the perfect time. I had two experiences that had me stuck. The first should have taught me the lesson of control only what is mine and let go of the rest but it wasn’t until I read this that I consciously realized that I now had the chance to do that with the second problem. I prayed and immediately became unstuck. Thanks.
Pam says
This is very timely advice. I have found that something as simple as a 15 minute walk sometimes helps me feel unstuck. Good article. Thank you for sharing!
Casey says
I love this article! I feel like I’ve been in a rut for awhile and am not sure what to do about it. All of these are great tips. When I get stuck, I try to think “If there was nothing in my way, what would I do?” and go from there. I use that for my motivation to refocus my energy to what I truly want.
Michele says
Number 8, Number 8, Number 8!!!!!! This is EXACTLY what I am dealing with now. Thank you for validating my convictions, and making them that much stronger. You have no idea how much I needed this article RIGHT NOW!!! THANK YOU!!!
TM says
It is difficult to move past stuck:( It’s important to me to feel the feelings that have created “stuck” in my head. A new day or a new week empower me to try again with a more positive attitude. Also these articles always seem to arrive at the right time:) Thanks!
Celeste says
Great article and serendipitous timing for me.
This really covered all the bases and I am definitely bookmarking it for rereading as I navigate a few difficult situations and conversations in the next few days.
But I will add that one other thing that helps me a lot is texting with my friend. Not venting, which leaves me feeling even more negative, but listening to someone that gives great advice, that gets you thinking about the situation from a different angle, and can spark new perspective that leads to a solution.
Susan Sweeney Smith says
I go to my garden and sit and watch the squirrel find a new way into the birdseed, the bumblebee repeatedly searching the flowers for food, the chipmunk running with a cheek full of seeds to his den over and over again. Their rituals and ingenuity are restorative. They persevere, they change direction, and they rest. I always find respite and hope in the garden….
Betsy says
I battle with my mind most of the time. I am learning to turn the negative thoughts into positive thoughts, one day at a time.
I thought this would be easy, but it truly does take one day at a time, and also to know that it’s ok on any given day, to not be there.
Tomorrow is a new day to start, if today is not working positively.
Thank you.