“In a gentle way, you can shake the world.”
? Mahatma Gandhi
This article was inspired by a short email we received this morning from a new course student:
Dear Marc and Angel,
I’m a single mom to two wonderful teenagers, and I’m also a (rather passionate) domestic violence attorney. Although I’ve been told I do a good job on both fronts, I wish to make a bigger difference. There’s so much positive change and growth I feel I could instill in both my children and the world at large if I could just find the right persuasive approach. I wish there was a way to open people’s eyes to the possibilities I see! Do you have any relevant stories or lessons to share?
Sincerely,
A Caring Student
Our reply (an open reply to all who want to positively influence others):
Dear Caring Student,
It’s time for a quick story about life…
In 1955, Ella Fitzgerald had a professional music career that spanned nearly two decades. She was a critically acclaimed Jazz musician, and yet she was hardly known by the general public because she was an African American doing amazing things at a time when racial segregation in the United States was still widespread.
So despite her undeniable talent and accolades, it was incredibly challenging for Ella to book shows at concert venues that appealed primarily to white audiences. She didn’t let this stop her though, and with the odds stacked heavily against her, she set her sights on performing at Mocambo in Los Angeles, which was arguably the most celebrated west coast jazz club at the time.
Predictably, the club owner, Charlie Morrison, turned Ella down, again and again. He tried to be kind, but he simply refused to suffer the potential consequences of booking an African American performer. “Not only might I forgo ticket sales for the night, but having you perform here could also damage my club’s brand over the long haul,” he told her.
Still, Ella did not give up on her goal. She strongly believed performing at Mocambo could help her crack into the mainstream music scene. But she now realized she was going to need some assistance. So she picked up the telephone and confessed her goal and frustrations to her friend and fan, Marilyn Monroe. Marilyn was one of the most adored white female film stars of the 1950’s.
Marilyn was appalled by what she heard. As soon as she hung up with Ella, she picked the telephone back up and called Charlie over at Mocambo. She asked him to book Ella at once! But he again refused, and reiterated his fearful reasons. So Marilyn persuasively sweetened the deal. “Charlie, if you make my friend Ella the headlining act at Mocambo for a full week, I will sit in the front row every single night Ella is there,” she said.
At this point Charlie had to consider the offer. He knew he would get ridiculous amounts of media attention if he announced that Marilyn Monroe was in the house every night for a full week. “The press will go nuts over this!” Marilyn assured him. Charlie was convinced, and so he agreed to make Ella the headlining act at Mocambo for a full week.
As promised, Marilyn sat front and center every night Ella performed. Despite all of the era’s widespread racism, the club was packed at maximum capacity each night. And the excited crowds of people that initially crammed into the jazz club to see Marilyn quickly fell in love with Ella’s powerful performances.
That one week of performing launched Ella Fitzgerald’s career into the stratosphere and secured her spot in Hollywood as a bona fide music star. She never again performed at a small club… and it was all thanks to her determination, her incredible talent, and some persuasive assistance from a friend and fan named Marilyn Monroe.
REMEMBER:
We may not have the influential fame of Marilyn Monroe or the musical talent of Ella Fitzgerald, but we can still learn a lot from what these two inspiring individuals were able to pull off at Mocambo more than 60 years ago.
When we wish to inspire positive change in our loved ones’ lives, or in the lives of the masses, by persuading and influencing them to see the world differently, we must first recognize where our power lies – our leverage points – and then anticipate and counteract the objections to our proposals with ready-made solutions that are basically too sweet to refuse.
Although a strategy like this takes extra work, it creates a win-win scenario that’s far from capitulating. It’s working respectfully within the boundaries of a system of thinking to help the system shift and improve over time. And for our efforts, we may not get front row seats at Mocambo to see Ella Fitzgerald, but we will be making a positive difference in people’s lives and moving the world forward in incredible ways.
Sincerely,
Marc and Angel
Your turn…
Please leave a comment below and let us know:
In what way would you like to positively influence others?
Anything else to share?
We would love to hear from YOU. 🙂
Also, if you haven’t done so already, be sure to sign-up for our free newsletter to receive new articles like this in your inbox each week.
Christian says
As I read this story, my eyes got a bit teary. Not only for Ella but also for Marilyn who had a rough and tragically early end to her amazing life. I was actually a teenager when these two were at their prime, but I had never heard this inspiring story before. My respect for Marilyn just jumped up a few notches.
Thank you for sharing this, and continuing to spread ideas that need to be heard. Your emails, stories, blog posts and book have all been great source of refuge in my life. I read an excerpt from your work almost every day, and it makes a difference in my life.
Marc Chernoff says
Thank you for continuing to support our work, Christian.
Amandah says
I love the premise of this story and how you’ve presented it, Marc and Angel. It’s a great tribute to the goodness of people, and how important it is to leverage our influence for the greater good.
I’d also like to remind everyone that you can make a big difference without changing the whole world. Small changes can be powerful too:
– Holding the door open for the person behind you.
– Volunteering for a couple hours every week at a local homeless shelter.
– Spending quality time with my family and helping your children learn and grow.
These are simple, yet powerful ways to make the world a better place, for all of us.
Marc Chernoff says
Excellent point, Amandah!
Irene Davis says
Wow! I’d love to see the more of the bold compassion and loving kindness Marilyn showed Ella. And I’d love to see more of the raw determination and grit Ella had with her goals and dreams.
As for me, I know I can be the change I want to see. And that’s how I’m going to influence others. Thank you for reminding me. As Christian mentioned above, your blog emails, book, etc. are making a major difference.
Jaya says
Awe inspiring story. Thank you for sharing something that has ignitioned a thought process, in me, in the direction I was searching for.
Edson says
Amandah is right. It’s sometimes the smallest acts that make the biggest difference. Just being there for a friend, loved one or even a co-worker during a time of need is powerful.
I am always there when people need to talk about a problem or challenge they might have. I focus on the positive aspects and the lessons, and will almost always refer to your book or blog.
I even keep extra copies of “1,000+ Little Things Happy, Successful People Do Differently” and give them to those who can truly benefit from the invaluable wealth of knowledge, education, self-awareness and self-realization it contains.
Jo Ellen says
I know that in the World right now there is so much intolerance of those who seem different from us. When we look deep inside ourselves we may find that we all have experiences from the past that may have affected and slanted us a certain way. Although we think of ourselves as loving, nonjudgmental people we need to challenge those pieces inside of ourselves that are willing to stand by and say nothing.
Karen Leigh says
awesome story – inspiring, as usual – thanks
Nicolette Skenjana says
Many thanks! You two are the best! I honestly see the light at the end of a tunnel every time I read your emails. You are a blessing, indeed!
Clover says
Thank you Marc and Angel for posting this amazing story. As a woman of Caribbean descent living in the Netherlands, Ella’s and Marliyn’s story has profoundly touched me. After many years of trying to crack the entertainment business, I have decided to relax about it. The western world still prefers and trusts a European look, when selling their products. I can’t change that, however, what I can do is embrace who I am, and create my own unique world. That is how I’ll make my mark!
sona says
This is so spot on for me. I recently started marketing my Life Coaching practice and needed this encouragement today.
You guys rock every word you write. Thanks so much and God bless.
Sona Tank
P.s. you have been making a difference in my life for almost 5 years now. And I have you listed as the top resource on my website. Thank you! thank you! thank you!
Barbara Jones says
Excellent story to demonstrate your point. I read you every day and it has been a true blessing to me. I tell others about this site often. Thank you for all you do.
Blessings. Barb
Nickolas says
That’s a great story. It shows how each of us has a job to enlighten ourselves and others beyond the normal (often) negative or prejudicial thinking patterns.
I can remember being in India once about ten years ago. I was there to do yoga. One afternoon, I went to visit a museum in the local town and had a crowd of kids develop around me, early teens excited by a “white-skin” person. It was cute and the energy they radiated was amazing. Anyway, at the end I decided to take a picture of them, so they gathered together, but it was then that I noticed that one of them, a double amputee, couldn’t get into the picture properly because I was standing. He was trying to ‘be taller’ by hanging onto the other boys, but even then he only had his head in at the bottom of the picture. I decided that wasn’t good enough, and anyway I wanted everyone in the picture, particularly the amputee who had developed a great, speedy way of moving around on his stumps. He could really keep up and his achievement was special in my eyes. He also seemed to be the one smiling the most. I can remember getting some kind of impression of this situation probably having happened many times before, the amputee being left out or ignored, and I couldn’t bear the thought of it, so I decided to shake things up and said to the others: “OK, boys, everyone down!” and pointed to the floor, so we all went down on one knee, and the picture (I think I still have somewhere) is of the amputee right at the front of the kneeling group of lads, beaming and on the same level as all the others. It was a small moment, but I’ve never forgotten it.
Darcel says
Thanx for sharing Nickolas! Your kindness, compassion and empathy shows through and you will be rewarded for it both on earth and in eternity!
God Bless,
Darcel
Marc Chernoff says
Beautiful story! Thank you for being YOU, Nickolas.
Jen says
I can’t explain how much I love this. This is such a wonderful story. Thank you for sharing it in such an applicable way. 🙂
Jan Smith says
What a great story! Thanks for sharing it! And I love what Nickolas shared too. Some of our most memorable moments are the special little things we do, you just never know how much it may mean to someone.
David Rapp says
I thought a lot about this post this morning. It seems to me it’s the power one. If you assisted one person every day in an act of kindness, that would be 365 people per year. A goal of a thousand acts of kindness would only take 2.74 years, not long at all.
Tom Seale says
A simple act of Kindness creates an endless ripple.
Elva says
Yes! If you can help someone in a positive way, the ripples from your action will spread and influence many other people. You may never know how many people you have helped.
I can’t save the world, but I can try to help others in small ways. For instance: I do alterations. I get quite a few tall women who need pants lengthened, etc. When I point out that, for women’s clothing, manufacturing patterns are drafted to fit the “average” woman, 5′ 5″ to 5′ 7″, but men’s patterns are drafted to fit the “average” man of 5’8″ to 5′ 10″ — for many styles, jeans, shirts, and such, most women could wear men’s clothing. I give them a few websites to check out. And so what if the men’s shirts have buttonholes on the left side? I’ve made my own shirts for 50 years, buttonholes on the left side, and NO ONE has ever noticed unless I point it out to them.
Other tips: I surf the web, keeping in mind various friends and customers who can use the information I find. I either print out the article and give it to them, or call or email with a pointer to the information. For those who may have read the King James version of the Bible but don’t understand it, I suggest a visit to biblegateway.com to compare many different English translations.
Another small example: I was in the car parts store late one very rainy (as in heavy downpour) afternoon. A young man came up to the counter with a new wiper blade, and found that he lacked about $2.00 to pay for it. He stood there looking forlorn, and I took a couple of dollars and gave it to him. He was very embarrassed, didn’t want to take the money, but I insisted, told him to “pass it on” to someone else when he could.
If you are aware of people and your surroundings, there are a great many small things you can do to help others. I can’t save the whole world, but I can make the day a bit brighter for those around who may need just a small word of encouragement.
Blessings to you, Marc and Angel, for your work in lighting candles against the darkness!
David says
Thank you for sharing Elva! It reminds me of the little things I try to do to “pay it forward.” (That movie still makes me cry.) I love to pay the bill for the person behind me in the drive-through. Sometimes I will hear them say, “Really?” It brings me such joy.
Once, while dining at a small cafe, there was a young couple sitting across from me enjoying what appeared to be a date together. When the check came, the young man boldly handed the server the card and smiled at his companion. A few minutes later, the server returned, but with the bad news that the card had not worked. She had tried several times to no avail. Embarrassed, the young man began searching for any possible solution, including calling his grandmother who lived nearby to see if she could bring him the cash to pay the bill. I couldn’t hesitate any longer at this point and I asked the server to give me the check. The young couple were so grateful and thanked me endlessly, offering to pay me back if I would give them my number. I just smiled and told them it was my pleasure and to “pay it forward” to someone else in need someday.
I like to think these small, unsolicited acts of kindness have a profound effect on others. Of course, we will never know. At least not in this lifetime!
funmi says
Amazing story!
Alicia says
How would I like to positively influence others?
I have moved around a lot. I had a great group of friends when I reached high school but then some issues caused me to move away my senior year, then a back again after graduation, then away again, and back again, then away for good. Needless to say I didn’t have that close group anymore. We’re all still close, but not geographically that’s for sure. The 8 of us spanned 3 states so I didn’t have the comfort of my tribe. I don’t have the comfort of my tribe. The deep conversations I have are done via text message and really, with a friend I haven’t seen almost 10+ years. The people I am around now aren’t “like me,” but I realized over the last month – that’s my purpose. To expose people who otherwise wouldn’t be exposed to the POWER of positive thinking, the Law of Attraction etc. And also, moms out there who – for one reason or another – believe that it’s okay to settle by JUST BEING A MOM. Just because we’re mom’s doesn’t mean we can’t go after other passions. I want to influence those people. I want to make people think about things they’ve never thought about before and make the necessary changes in their lives that results in more happiness, more joy. MORE LIFE!
Averill says
This was a great story with many lessons. I never knew Ella and Marilyn were friends.
Also, this story shows us what can happen when you set goals and are determined to achieve your dream. Like my brother always says: “if you can’t go over or under, go around.” …and like the elderly people I know used to say, “there is more than one way to skin a cat.” Marilyn was a real friend to Ella to do what she did in that era.
Godwin Umeokolo says
I’m greatly inspired by the story. Not only can I make difference but also to impact the knowledge and make a difference in the life’s of others. The connections, the knowledge, the words of encouragement mean a lot to someone being depressed by struggles weighing them down. Thanks for the article, I’m Blessed!
Marc Chernoff says
Beautiful thoughts and stories, everyone. And thank you for the extra kindness. Angel and I are truly moved to know that many of you found inspiration in this short, true story, because it certainly inspires us. 🙂