It’s not what you say to everyone else that determines your life – it’s what you whisper to yourself that has the greatest power.
The most common problem with motivation, often not understood until later in life, is that when we say we’re looking for motivation, it implies that our motivation is somehow hiding behind a bush or under a rock somewhere. But that’s far from the truth.
The truth is, our motivation comes from doing the right things. When our efforts have meaning behind them it motivates us to take the next step. For me – and we’re all different – I am motivated primarily by two core ambitions:
- Knowing more today than I knew yesterday, especially as doing so relates to meaningful projects and desires
- Easing the pain of others
Living by these two core ambitions on a daily basis, and regularly reflecting on the progress I’m making, invigorates me, personally and professionally.
That’s really the most important aspect of generating long-term motivation: knowing what your core ambitions are (figuring out what truly drives you) and living by them. Think about it: Underneath all the things you say you have to do, at the end of each day, what is the meaning and value you hope to create?
Once you’ve got that down, and you’re on a meaningful path, a pertinent question remains:
What’s the easiest way to motivate yourself through life’s inevitable moments of negativity and discouragement?
Truth be told, in the near-term there will always be little stumbles along the way – those bad days when you’re tripping over a rocky road, and all you need is a quick pick-me-up to re-center your mind and regain your footing. It’s really important to be prepared for these situations too. Because, as human beings, we tend to be generous with our own nonsense and pessimism. And while it may seem logical, or just easier, to feed our inner negativity, please remember that the diet we need to be on is a mindful and positive one. Be cautious with what you feed your mind and soul – watch your self-talk. Fuel yourself with sensible thoughts and let that fuel propel you into positive action.
When you’re feeling dispirited, and lacking the mindset you need to step forward, reflect on the mantras below. Over the years, Angel and I have worked with hundreds of course students who have successfully used these mantras to fuel their positivity and motivation on the toughest of days. So pick one (or more) that’s relevant to your present life situation, and repeat it in your mind until it sinks in…
- Learn to value yourself, which means: fight for your happiness and peace of mind. Tell yourself, “I am ENOUGH!” anytime you begin to feel like you aren’t. What we do in life ultimately comes out of who we believe we are.
- Every time you are tempted to react in the same old way, ask yourself, “Do you want to be a prisoner of the past or a pioneer of the present and future?”
- Intelligence without ambition is a bird without wings. Anything you truly want must be worth working on and fighting for. Imagine the incredible progress you can make simply by doing what you’ve been telling yourself you should do. Say it and believe it: “The most satisfying time to take the next step is now!”
- “It’s time to do what’s right, not what’s easy.” And remember, when the task is a big one, do just a little bit of it every day. Even the tiniest daily ritual changes everything in the long run. (Angel and I build tiny, life-changing rituals with our students in the “Goals and Growth” module of Getting Back to Happy.)
- Occasionally, you are disappointed in yourself. When that happens, transform your disappointment into forgiveness… and then determination. “It’s OK to make mistakes. That’s how you get wiser.” Give yourself a break, and don’t give up! Good things take time, and you’re getting there.
- Temporary pain is inevitable. Long-term suffering is optional. So do your best to let it GO. And on particularly hard days when you feel that you can’t endure, remind yourself: “Your track record for getting through hard days is 100% so far.”
- “It isn’t as bad as it feels right now. It will all work out. Relax and trust yourself.” That is the truth. Be present. Put your full trust in yourself by following your intuition and doing your best. Life will not forsake you. Mindfulness and hard work combined rarely lead a person astray in the long run.
- “It’s not personal (it’s really not), even though it feels personal.” Yet, it’s so hard not to internalize other people’s negative remarks as a reflection on your worth. But they aren’t – the way other people behave is not about you. Most people are so caught up in their own issues that the thought of being kind doesn’t even cross their minds. They aren’t being purposely rude – they’re just self-centered sometimes. And that’s OK. It’s not evidence of some fundamental flaw on your part. It doesn’t make you unworthy. It just means that some people aren’t very good at looking beyond their own egocentric bubble. But the fact that you are – that despite the darkness you feel, you have the ability to share your love and light with others – is an incredible strength. (Angel and I discuss this in detail in the “Relationships” chapter of 1,000 Little Things Happy, Successful People Do Differently.)
- You are in 100% control of YOU. Your decisions in each and every moment determine the quality of life that you live. Be positive, always. When you can’t control what’s happening, challenge yourself to control the way you respond to what’s happening. That’s where your power is! Take a deep breath and remind yourself of the truth: “I choose my response, and that changes everything.”
- You must make a firm decision that you’re going to let go and move forward. It won’t always happen naturally or automatically. Sometimes you will have to rise up and say, “I don’t care how hard this is. I don’t care how disappointed I am. I’m not going to let this get the best of me. I’m moving on with my life.”
It’s ultimately your choice…
Yes, it’s your choice.
YOUR choice.
You are choosing right now.
And if you’re choosing…
to complain…
to blame…
to be stuck in the past…
to act like a victim…
to feel insecure…
to feel anger…
to feel hate…
to be naïve…
to ignore your intuition…
to ignore good advice…
to give up…
…then it’s time to choose differently.
But, let me also remind you that you are not alone. Generations of human beings in your family tree have chosen. Human beings around the world have chosen. We all have chosen at one time or another. And we stand behind you now whispering:
Choose to let go.
Choose to be present.
Choose to be positive.
Choose to forgive yourself.
Choose to forgive others.
Choose to see your value.
Choose to see the possibilities.
Choose to find meaning.
Choose to prove you’re not a victim.
Choose to find the motivation you need to take a step forward.
Your turn…
Please leave a comment below and let us know:
What is your greatest source of motivation?
Do you have anything else to share?
We would love to hear from YOU. 🙂
Also, if you haven’t done so already, be sure to sign-up for our free newsletter to receive new articles like this in your inbox each week.
Photo by: Todd Quackenbush
Hillary says
Although often an uphill climb, whenever I’m down in the dumps and struggling to motivate myself, I do three things: I focus on stopping my negativity and complaining, get real mindful with my thinking, and then I just do the very best I can to make progress. Learning to think and respond more positively is one the the best habits I’ve picked up from your course and coaching (although there are several) – it’s honestly a habit I now turn to every day of my life.
Also, thank you for the pertinent reminders in this post, Marc and Angel. I love the way you ended the post. You’ve really given me some perspective.
Marc Chernoff says
Hillary, you’re doing really well. Your progress is inspiring. And of course, you are welcome. 🙂
Gabe Niles says
I totally agree with your take on long-term motivation. A meaningful path is everything!
Still, bad days and terrible moments do arise that have the tendency to suck the happiness and motivation out of us. That’s why I subscribe to your blog’s email updates, and why I invested in your book — to keep the right train of thought at the top of my mind, so I’m prepared. As an example, I’ve been reflecting on this quote from your book this week, because my worries have been draining me lately: “Your worries will not drain tomorrow of its challenges, it will simply drain YOU of your strength today.”
Thanks for keeping me in check! 😉
Marc Chernoff says
I’m happy to hear our ideas and strategies are moving you forward, Gabe. Thank you for the kindness too.
Fay D. says
Marc and Angel, I’ve seen others mention it before, but I truly appreciate when your blog’s emails hit my email inbox right when I need them. Your work is something I know I can rely on for a dose of motivation when I need it the most. Thank you.
Barbara Sherry Rose-Vain says
This is awesome! I sent it to someone who feels futile and hope it helps. Keep up the great work!
Michael Lingenfelter says
Hi and thanks for the amazing article!
My greatest source of motivation is to try to go to bed just a little bit wiser than I was the night before. Knowing that I did something to put a smile on someone else’s face or was able to make someone else’s life just a little bit easier or better.
S says
Thank you for this article! It came at just the right moment and just what I needed today….amazing 🙂
Colleen Riley says
My biggest sense of motivation is doing something for myself each day! I look forward to a walk on the beach, tennis with the girls or a quick work out at the gym. If I take time for myself, I feel great when I spend time with my children, work or charter through life’s unexpected bumps. I was told that this was selfish at points in my life, but I learned not to listen to those negative remarks. I like your view on not being able to control or understand others peoples negative behavior. I used to think that it had something to do with me! ?
sri says
You Guys rock with your emails..so simple sounding, yet so profound in its meaning..
for me personally its about being a better person today than i was yesterday. did i do something positive today to myself or to people around me?..thats the ingredient that motivates me..
is there a way to get a copy of your book in india? i checked amazon india and they dont seem to have it…
Marc Chernoff says
Thanks for the extra kindness, Sri. And yes, if you purchase our book directly from us, we will ship it to you internationally: https://www.marcandangel.com/book/
Thuliwe says
Just want to say thank you for the article! you have already changed my life.
Piper Presley says
Your blog posts are helping me get through the negative self-talk. So thanks. I’ll be buying your book soon.
A says
My wife and had a miscarriage yesterday. I do appreciate your post, but right there has to be time for mourning loss or grieving. Not every person can choose to be happy after such a loss. I know it’s a gradual process. But I’m worried about her.
Thank you for your post, I really do enjoy reading them.
Irene says
I am so very sad for you and your wife, and yes, totally, you both must grieve this loss in your own ways. Be kind to and careful of each other.
Jennifer says
I had a miscarriage in 2002, and like any passing, the grief never truly leaves you. A few days ago, I came across the baby book we had started for this baby we lost. Inside were letters my husband and I had written to our unborn baby. I suggest this exercise to you and your wife. It won’t completely heal your pain, but it does help to memorialize your love for your child and help create closure.
Marc Chernoff says
Sending prayers of strength your way.
Martin says
First time Here but you have Fantastic blog =)
Kimberly says
My retired Marine son struggles with PTSD and I have sent him several of your articles. I LOVE them, they help me immensely and I’m thankful to be able to forward them to him as well. I can’t thank you enough!
B says
I wish my brother had subscribed to reading your blog. He might have realized committing suicide last month was not his only option.
Gururaj NS says
Hi Marc & Angel,
Thanks a lot for these awesome Mantras which really opened my closed eyes with motivations & I can do anything attitude. Hats off to both of you!
Willow says
Every Time I Read One Of Your Articles I Feel Hopeful. It Has Been An Uphill Struggle Since Childhood To Among Other Things Believe In Myself; I Believe That I Can Captain My Ship To Any Direction That I Want To and Your Articles Are Certainly A Reliable Compass!
Kimani says
I used to be motivated by showing kindness, being joyful and positive, and having unconditional love for all things. But along my life’s journey I’ve lost it somehow… and now trying to get back to myself.
K says
After reading your article here, I actually feel more motivated. Thank you guys.
Steve F. says
This is amazing…thanks so much.
Margaret says
It’s the good in you guys that balances out the badness in others. You help and change lives for the best of reasons. Please know it is appreciated. Thank you
M says
This article has motivated me in some way but I also know the motivation should come from me. We should know ourselves.
Robin says
My greatest source of motivation is my life. Sometimes when I feel like I can’t do anything or I can’t face it anymore, I look back to the wonderful things I did in my past and I’ll tell myself that if I could do it years ago, I can definitely do it now. If I’m feeling like lost feather, i’ll on your blog and read it, I feel a lot better. Love your blog, and wonderfull article.
Gautam thakur says
The truth worth sharing. Thank you Marc and Angel. Every time a new email comes from you guys and I know that I am about to learn something new.
joseph says
Nice article and nice flow of thoughts
Bonnie Lecat says
Wonderful article. I totally agree with all of the points you’ve made! It’s so important to keep positivity at the top of your “to-do” list every day.
Adriana says
Thank you for this post. I’ve read and re-read it a couple of times now this morning. I am enough! That is my mantra. Thank you Marc and Angel.
Holly Sanford says
I remind myself that whatever seems challenging is a growth opportunity. No matter what the outcome is seen by others, I will benefit from the growth.
I love ,”I have 100% survival rate for challenging situations so far.” ??????
Deborah Baker says
Wow! I do sometimes have a terrible time staying motivated(like right now). I love that you pulled all these mantras together in a very encouraging and relatable article. Thank you!
Linda says
“Choose to find the motivation you need to take a step forward” rephrased is my favorite mantra. When I realized that I could choose what motivates me, it was a great moment for me.
Ije says
Thank you Marc and Angel for the insightful posts. You’re helping get through a very difficult time in my life. It is so easy for us to get caught up in our daily struggles. We feel justified when we beat ourselves up over the numerous mistakes and set back we have had. Your posts really helps put things in perspective for me.
Judy Czyzewski says
Thanks Marc and Angel, your are starting to change my life. I wait patiently every day for your email.I know it’s going to change my way of thinking. Buying the book too.
Kristi Data says
I truly look forward to these lists and reminders everyday! I’m also so very grateful that I can sure them will people. By far each one of these has really impacted my choices and decisions. Thank you for continuing to inspire me!