It’s time for a quick story about life, gratitude, and inner strength…
Once upon a time there was a woman in her mid-sixties who noticed that she had lived her entire life in the same small town. And although she had spent decades enthusiastically dreaming about traveling and seeing the world, she had never taken a single step to make this dream a reality.
Finally, she woke up on the morning of her 65th birthday and decided that now was the time! She sold all of her possessions except for some essential items she needed, packed these items into a backpack, and began her journey out into the world. The first several days on the road were amazing and filled with awe—with every step forward she felt like she was finally living the life she had dreamed.
But a few short weeks later, the days on the road started taking a toll on her. She felt misplaced and she missed the familiar comforts of her old life. As her feet and legs grew more and more sore with each new step, her mood also took a turn for the worse.
Eventually she stopped walking, took off her backpack, slammed it on the ground, and sat down beside it as tears began streaming down her cheeks. She stared hopelessly down a long winding road that once led to an amazing world, but now seemed to lead only to discomfort and unhappiness. “I have nothing! I have nothing left in my life!” she shouted out loud at the top of her lungs.
Coincidentally, a renowned guru and life adviser from a nearby village was resting quietly behind a pine tree adjacent to where the woman was sitting. When the woman began shouting, the guru heard every word and he felt it was his duty to help her. Without thinking twice, he jumped out from behind the pine tree, grabbed her backpack, and ran into the forest that lined both sides of the road. Stunned and in complete disbelief, the woman started crying even harder than before, to the point of near breathlessness.
“That backpack was all I had,” she cried.” And now it’s gone! Now everything is gone in my life!”
After about ten minutes of much-needed tears, the woman gradually collected her emotions, stood up again and began staggering slowly down the road. Meanwhile the guru cut through the forest and secretly placed the backpack in the middle of the road just a short distance ahead of the woman.
When the woman’s teary eyes fell upon the backpack, she almost couldn’t believe what she was seeing—everything she thought she had just lost was once again right in front of her. She couldn’t help but smile from ear to ear. “Oh, thank heavens!” the woman exclaimed. “I am so grateful! Now I definitely have what I need to continue onward…”
Remember…
As we journey through our personal and professional lives, there will inevitably be periods of incredible frustration and despair. During those tough times, it will sometimes appear to us that we’ve lost everything, and that nothing and nobody could possibly motivate us to move onward in the direction of our dreams. But just like the woman who stumbled across the guru, we are all holding with us a backpack of support that comes in many forms—it can be a simple email or text message from someone we respect, inspiring blog posts, insightful books, helpful neighbors, supportive communities, and so much more.
When the going gets tough—when we’re feeling utterly down and discouraged—we need to remember…
- To trust the journey, even when we do not understand it.
- To accept what is, let go of what was, and have faith in the road ahead.
- To start exactly where we are, use what we have, and do what we can, one step at a time.
- To look for the blessings hidden in every struggle we face, and be willing to open our hearts and minds to them.
- To recognize our backpack of support—our external sources of hope and motivation—before a random guru (or someone with far more crooked intentions) has to steal it from us so that we can finally see what we have always taken for granted.
- To be present and tap into our own hearts and minds—our internal sources of hope and motivation—which have the power to push us back up on our feet and guide us down the road to our backpack of support, even when it appears to be lost forever. (Note: Angel and I cover this process in detail at our annual Think Better, Live Better conference.)
- To laugh at the confusion, live consciously in the moment, and appreciate the lessons found at each twist and turn.
- To not compare our progress with that of others, and accept that we all need our own time to travel our own distance.
- To see how many of the things we never wanted or expected, ultimately turn out to be what we need.
- To be OK with not ending up exactly where we intended to go, while opening ourselves up to the possibility of eventually arriving precisely in the right place at the right time.
Bottom line…
If you are struggling right now, you’ve got this!
No matter your circumstances, you always have what you need to take the next smallest step.
Or as Epicurus so profoundly said, “Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not; remember that what you now have was once among the things you only hoped for.”
Be mindful. Be present.
Keep going.
One day at a time, one small step at a time.
(Note: Angel and I build small, life-changing daily steps/habits with our students in the “Goals & Growth” module of Getting Back to Happy.)
Your turn…
Please leave a comment below and let us know:
What’s one source of hope, motivation, or gratitude you sometimes turn to when you need it most?
Anything else to share about this article?
We would love to hear from YOU. 🙂
Also, if you haven’t done so already, be sure to sign-up for our free newsletter to receive new articles like this in your inbox each week.
Peter Gills says
There you go again, Marc and Angel, dropping a new article link in my email right when I needed to some perspective. I feel like one is such a great highlight of what I’ve learned from your blog and book over the past year. Thank you!
And to answer your question about what I turn to on down days when I need an extra push…simple reminders like:
1. “This too shall pass.”
2. And of course, articles like this one.
Marion says
I am happy to have my Husband in my life. He has been a strong source for me. I have gone through a rough patch for while. I finally feel some success in life right now. I have two beautiful daughters. One is so calm for giving the other, well struggles with life. She does like to blame me for everything. Today I realize this is her Journey.
Its hard to let go, but we must in order to keep moving forward. Thank you for the reminder to keep in the present.
Jacqueline Phillippe says
Hear hear!
Marc Chernoff says
Thank you for the extra kindness!
Jamie says
I love what you said about being present and looking at what you have rather than what you don’t have. And I also like how you mentioned that we have everything we need to take the next step forward, and that it must be accomplished one small step at a time. Honestly, this is what your Getting Back to Happy lessons and coaching have helped me with most. In the past I’ve been a slave to my own negativity and self-limiting actions. In fact I’ve literally behaved just like the woman in the opening story of this post. I’ve held myself back simply by telling myself it’s not going to work, or that I’m not good enough because of some past failure or rejection. Thus, I appreciate these reminders today. I’ve come a long way! And it feels good to see the progress firsthand.
And M&A, your work is often the source I turn to most frequently when I meed an extra push in the right direction. Thank you.
Marc Chernoff says
Jamie, you have indeed come a long way. Your growth and progress has been inspiring to witness. 🙂 Keep going strong.
SARAH says
Thank you very much Marc and Angel. I have leant a lot from your lessons though there always some grey areas which i can not actually point at.
Am positive and always hopping for the best. May your DREAMS COME TO PASS.
yours faithfully
Sarah.
Donna says
Marc, your story about the woman at the bringing of this post really hit home with me. I know you and Angel have told stories with similar messages in previous posts and emails, but today it really clicked and hit me hard. Maybe it’s because I re-watched the workshop recordings from your 2017 seminar over the past few days, and also listened to the recording of the coaching call that you did with me in June. Either way I wanted you to know that way it’s finally all coming together in my head and heart. Thank you.
The daily ritual you guys set me up with of challenging my negative self-judgments is one that’s really guiding me forward right now. The battle is absolutely in my brain, and I’m finally understanding how to ease the tension. I’ve been able to catch myself in the act of victimizing myself as a broken human being, and then redirect my thoughts to recent real-world examples from my life where that’s not been true. Basically, I’ve already found a decent level of success with using the tools you’ve taught me to shift my focus to the opposite of the negative emotions and thoughts I’ve used to be stuck on, and find at least some proof that I’m growing and progressing. Practicing this daily brings healthy perspective to my occasional emotional and mental funks.
Marc Chernoff says
Incredible news, Donna! It’s so great to hear the coaching and conference recordings are helping keep the right principles and rituals active in your daily life. Well done!
Cynthia says
I was sent this article by someone I often turn to in times of struggle, or when I’m in a bewildered state. I thanked him for this new tool for my tool box. It turned out to be a whole backpack of enlightenment. The name of the woman in that story, in my life, is Cynthia. She is a work in progress. Thank you for sharing such support.
Marc Chernoff says
Well stated. You are welcome.
Eileen mosey says
Whenever I am lost or feel defeated one of your email pops up which fits the situation .i too have just turned 65 feeling lost and all my dreams never were answered but as I face each new day I realize I have a lot to be thankful. For and my trip is fair from being done thank you for all your thoughtful things it always brings a smile.
Andreacristinna Mejia says
Well I liked this one a lot. I just wanna say thank you for share this beautiful message…
Liz Roberts says
when circumstances get me down to the point where I start to think I’m so stuck in an unwanted rut that I’ll never get out of it, I will notice little things in nature that encourage me…
along a busy, traffic-congested highway, the air foul with exhaust fumes, littered with trash, broken glass and other man-made debris, I’ll see a plant or a tree…or several of them…put along a median in the center of the noisy filthy highway or along the curb sides…growing and blooming as if they’d been planted along a beautiful, pristeen riverbed in the fresh air and sunlight…
…determined to grow and be beautiful inspite of the ugly, unfriendly environment in which they’d been planted and abandoned, as if to an unkind fate.
they flourished where they were planted…maybe not all of them…sometimes only one.
… but all it takes is just one .
growing through the cracks in the broken filthy asphalt, reaching for the sky, blooming as it grows.
maybe, one day, it will become a beautiful park.
Melissa says
Oh wow….thank you so much for this analogy. It certainly clicked with me!! Well written.
liz roberts says
thank you, Melissa 🙂
Naomi B Ballard says
I too have left everything behind. Escaping an abusive relationship. I’m 59 and in terrified.
Jen R. says
So proud of you sis. Tremendous courage you’ve shown yourself!! (and others). Please know that you’re not alone and never be afraid to ask for help. Be it emotional, physical, mental etc.. Talk, talk, talk and FEEL these feelings. They are yours so own them. Prayers for you and I’m certain in less time than you may think.. you’re gonna come back better and stronger than ever before. Pay attention to your words, you are listening. Give yourself a break and be proud of all of your accomplishments. I don’t know you but certainly love and admire you. Much Respect, jen R.
Naomi B Ballard says
I too have left everything behind. Escaping an abusive relationship. I’m 59 and I’m terrified. I’ve been single for 26 years.
michele b kay says
Thank you Marc and Angel-this is what I needed to hear today.
Much gratitude
Michele
Nanette says
You Two are my backpack …..just needed this today Thank You …..you will always be blessed
Patricia says
I really love what you said in this this is really true. I was in a 35-year marriage and it was so heartbroken and so hard for me to separate from my ex. He always wanted to run to other women and finally I came to the point that it was something that I could not fix and that I had to move on with my life and that was a toughest thing but with all your motivation and inspirations I have put the past behind me I am moving forward and it’s making me so much happier in life.
Patrick says
Very nice article and so very true. Currently in a new journey where I launched my own business and even though it’s only been few months i tend to go on a negativity trip. To help me I am reading The Monk who sold his Ferrari.
M Oewel says
I go to God and the Bible for hope & conviction. But, what encouraged me in your writing today was the reminders of being happy & feeling successful w/ ea. passing baby step taken. I always feel dissatisfied w/ the pace of my progress, but the realization that baby steps get you to your goal was a helpful reminder & encouragement.
Lilly says
I’m 55 year old woman with an empty nest and so much grief about it. I’ve made mistakes, and of course reflect on my mistakes and shortcomings. I pushed everyone away – extended family and friends-because I feel so much pain and grief. I live way up in the mountains and must drive windy, snowy roads 40 miles to get to town for a job. All is not lost, I hope…out of a surge of “I can do this!!” I applied for a job I really hope I get because I would be so good at it and get to be around diverse people..I have a backpack…I am going to set it out where I can see it —to represent my backpack of enlightenment. Thank you Marc and Angel and the people who leave responses on this site. You have no idea who you help…but I do . I hope I get the job. Happy Thanksgiving
Jacqueline Phillippe says
I feel, as another reader above said, “Thanks… once again M&A, for dropping that piece of advice at just the right time.” In my case, your story parallels a friend who recently relocated from Berkeley to Mt. Shasta. For 5 years she has dreamed of getting out of a more increasingly frenetic “Bezerkly” as she called it. Now in Mt. Shasta, she is going through the same phase as the woman in your story. In unfamiliar territory, no new friends as of yet, trying to find her place. Although putting on a brave face (everyone thought she was doing great), she broke down crying a few days ago on a call to me. “This is so hard, I’m lonely. I feel ill from the chemical smell in my new place.”
Here’s a gal who is determined, tenacious, and has overcome enormous obstacles in life… crumbling under the pressure of taking the first steps of her dream, but not wanting to show it. I just quickly reminded her of everything she has done, that sometimes even the ass-kickers get their ass kicked a little and that this is how we find out just how badass we are when we come out the other side. Reminded her of what she DOES actually have and to take a deep breath and look around and just find a few things to genuinely appreciate amidst her current struggles, and revel in them.
It was just a 5 minute pep-talk and nothing she didn’t already know, but her emails to me after said, “Once again, I feel 1,000,000% better after talking to you. It amazes me how I can draw strength from you and my other wonderful friends even when you are not physically present.”
Thanks M&A for reminding us that sometimes we get by with a little loving “kick in the ass” from our friends. 🙂 And now to forward your story to her and a few other friends…
Sharon says
dont’,
I am in a similar situation as your friend: moved to another state (with husband) in order to pursue my dream. All my friends say I am one of the strongest persons they know. Well the BIG change has kicked my ass: anxiety, self doubts, regret; everything negative. I want to be able to get through this with growth not just enduring. Tell your friend that she and I have taken the BIG STEP, that others only dare to dream.; This took a lot of courage and we have to apply that courage everyday in just doing one baby step at a time.
Perla milner says
Thank u Thank u Thank U always for making a difference! Again, hoping to meet u both in the near future??
Cary Flanagan says
Or as Epicurus so profoundly said, “Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not; remember that what you now have was once among the things you only hoped for.”
I so needed this reminder today! Thank you.
I love your newsletters – they always seem to come just at the right time.
SIRAJUDDIN says
VERY GOOD, THOUGHT PROVOKING.
IN TODAYS COMPETITION WORLD, SURVIVAL IS TOUGH.
marlene alves says
Dear Marc&Angel, you have never posted anything that is not a valuable, wise, useful essay, so I thank you for them all; especially today’s. It is so timely as I live in Northern California’s Wine Country where many thousands have lost their homes & everything in it from the wildfires that tore through this region in October.
I am one of the lucky ones, but can still identify with what you shared as I have been there/done that in other decades; recognizing what you say is true. Inevitably,: at each of my lowest points, a “guru showed up” in one form or another.
I don’t know how you can consistently come up with such incredible wisdom at so young an age (most like you are both very old souls); but I am so grateful you do..!
Mary Stephenson says
The journey is tough and sometimes I see what I should have done. Life would be easier. But other times when looking at where I am and my purpose, the only way to arrive at where I am now, is having to go through the rocky roads of life. With that in my mind I know that better days will arrive and I will know the journey had to be this way. May not have everything I would like to have, but much happier than 3 years ago…so things can only get better. Always have courage and never get discouraged. Life will change and we can get on board or feel sorry for ourselves. Great post today.
Sue says
M&A, Thank you so much for the reminder of not living with my negative head trying to win the match. I am enough, I have enough, I am right where I should be, even with enough struggles, I am strong enough to to overcome this too. I have my back! I’ll get over the mountain and appreciate the view.
Thanks for the kick in the butt !
Paula says
Thank you, yes I too so needed this today particularly.
Crushingly sad for ages and felt my heart was too broken to heal, and my ex so happy and walked, I couldn’t comprehend how he could do this after three children and so many years, and no one to understand of course
My strength comes in peaks and troughs but like the song goes, I’m still standing and smiling albeit often with a tummy full of knots
Thanks again so much. It helps so much to link in with you all xx
Stephanie Limongelli says
Hi Marc and Angel,
I have been reading your post for a while now and today’s post really spoke to me directly. I am at a point in my life of transformation. My attitude, direction in life, my response to life and my hopes for my future have all changed for the better. An I am looking to better myself and make my life a reflection of how I perceive and want it to be. The first step to true transformation is in one’s heart, mind and soul and than you move forward in the physical sense. I am grateful to have a dear friend who is “answering the prayer to God” to assist me in moving forward in my life. It is not easy to change your profession and try something new when your in your mid 40’s. Yet, to have the true success that one has been striving for for so long…you must “take the leap of faith” as my friend so graciously put it. One day at a time. I appreciate the blessings that I presently have and I am grateful for the lessons that i have learned. The struggle does continue, as I continue to charge ahead into the unknown. My faith in God and my faith in myself will prove to be my greatest assets in my life. Life is a journey with challenges to overcome. A true winner is a person who regardless of how many times he falls, he gets back up and tries again. Success is trying. May we remember to count our blessings and help someone who may need our hope or encouragement. Thank you Marc and Angel for your honesty and your commitment to helping others to “stay the course”. Please know that you make a tremendous difference in my life. Blessings to All.
Mary Brady says
Great post. To share the best advice I know: “Never let the future disturb you. You will meet it, if you have to, with the same weapons of reason which today arm you against the present.” — Marcus Aurelius
Jen R. says
My source of hope, gratitude and/or motivation is complete surrender. I make plans but never plan the results. I try my best to have no expectations for they can lead to resentments. I’m powerless over other people, places and things. Therefore, others are just as powerless meaning no-one can make me feel any kind of way. I have to allow them to. I don’t always have to understand the how and/or why. I may never get the answers, or I may receive them next week, next month or next year. I get them exactly when i am supposed to. Everything I have done in life be it wise or ridiculous, painful or pleasurable was exactly how it was meant to be. I’ve learned to surrender to win.
Preeti bhandari says
Good mrng.Great.Thanks for inspirational stories of life. It is Excatly what is needed. I appreciate you and love to read. It boost me . Thanx god bls u. Keep it up.
Sina Fak says
You think you’re alone. But just read the comments, and it’s clear that this is a constant struggle for everyone in their daily lives.
I love the example with the backpack. It shows how we sometimes take for granted what we have, thinking we need more, when everything we need is with us at this moment.
A beautiful reminder of gratitude, perseverance, and perspective. Thank you.
Dale Steele Nicolov says
Great suggestions. Mother Teresa said that some things people come to us in life as blessings,others as lessons.What a beautiful ,wise lady she was !I am thankful for all divine wisdom and guidance that we receive through wonderful people like yourselves. Thanks for sharing.
Askia says
I’m Speechless but not to the extent that I won’t be able to tell you that you are my Backpack..
Thank you so much this.. You always send things to us as if you’re directly looking into our lives and knowing the problems we faced.
Willy says
Hi Marc and Angel, i’m so grateful for your articles. Since i discovered your blog, i have made it a point to reach an article a day. I’m going through a rough patch right now and though i don’t see how i’ll get through, i know God will not let me drown. My wife and our 3yr old depend on me and am afraid that i might be failibg them. Everything i try to do is not working out, we have been given eviction notice and we have no one to turn. As an orphan, i have depended on God and my hardwork for survival. Thank you for encouraging us and being our backpack.
Mathenge Maina says
Sometimes life just wants to kick ass straight in the face all the time. Everything gets complicated. I am a huge believer that not giving up is the greatest thing that could ever happen to any human being.
If you give up, you loose.
If you don’t give up you win. Always win!
Thank you for this.
Lydia Moloto says
Thank you so much. I needed this motivation for me to carry on. I can now realise that I have all that I need in my life. Mine is just to give praise to God. Be blessed. Let God carry on giving you Wisdom.
Avelino says
Hi Marc and Angel. I just want you guys to know that I have been following and reading all your posts. I’ve shared them with many friends. I have practiced and repeated applied them in my daily lives. Now, I’ve encountered a situation of rejection, disrespect, betrayed and dishonesty coming from my own kids. My Thanksgiving will be different tomorrow. I am rebelling to the rest of my family. For choosing to side with my kids and enabling them and that it’s ok to act and behave they way they do. Moving out of my house to live with their older brother. My duty as a parent isn’t done. I’m still really hurt by this and I’m having a hard time letting go. I know I did a good job as a Dad of 4. I’ve raised all four kids by myself. This article really hits home and I will continue reading it until it becomes second nature. Thanks again for all your self development articles.
Linda Jay says
Thank you so much for this poignant story. I’ve just found your website! I too live near the Wine Country wildfires of October. Makes you so grateful for health, a decent place to live, friends. I’m in the very uncomfortable position of being 78.8, although honest-to-God I look late 50s/early 60s, and dating again.
I’m an active book manuscript copyeditor and marketing/p.r. copywriter.
Widowed after a great 24-year marriage in 1994, remarried in 2001, divorced in 2014 (he was undiagnosed bipolar, and surely fooled me and all my friends with his charm, humor, and wit). It’s taken me three years to recover, and I’m working with dating coaches (yes) as a business barter — I edit all their online communications — so I can get my head straight and date again. I will be with my third, final, and best husband; it’s inevitable. Odd duck that I am. Anyway, sometimes I despair about myself being this age and starting from scratch in many ways, but really, a whole new chapter is about to open for me.
isaac says
I am happy to have discovered Marc and Angel site help me a lot thanks for the motivation.
Sindy says
Hi M&A,
Thank you for this post. Recently, I’ve been feeling very grateful for all the persons in my life who support and look out for me. Thank you, thank you, thank you. I feel so blessed and have so much to be thankful for, specifically the many strong female role models in my life. I am listening a lot more now and being more mindful so I can show how truly grateful I am for all that I have now.
Farheen khan says
Amazing ?…thank u so much for this story … ??
Najwa says
This article opened my mind and eyes to see a different way of looking at life. It helped me to release some things I was holding on to. It was all baggage I had to release. Thank you!
Kristen says
So much wisdom, and your posts always seem to say just precisely what I need to hear, at the exact moment I most need to hear it!
I’m so glad I found your site. Both of you are a gift of inspiration and support that positively impact my life by offering perspective and thoughtful intention.
Thank you!
Keith says
Great article. Recently had a friend that was going through some hard times working with issues with her child with a disability. We certainly refer her to this article for some general tips
Dawn Martin says
This has come at the right time in my life. I have been staying with my dad for two reasons. One I don’t earn enough money on my SSDI to rent a place of my own on my own. Second, helping my baby brother out by helping take care of our 81-year-old father. For the last 15 years, he has taken care of our parents. Our Mother passed away in 2012 while taking care of his wife and now 3 children. My father and I had a disagreement yesterday. Last night I became homeless. I was only trying to protect him from himself and getting really badly hurt. I have $15 to my name and nowhere to go. Yet, I do not feel hopeless or sadden, I feel like that he opened the door to a new adventure for me. I am 50 years old with 2 grown married boys living their own lives. I am sitting here in a hotel room that an old friend paid for 2 nights for me feeling grateful and positive for tomorrow in what it holds. Thank you for your story, I am looking forward to my new journey that lies before as I awake this morning to see where I go from here.
Success says
I have so many things to say to you, but since I can’t I’ll just say this, I love you Marc and angel
Sue Peet says
Thank you for these words of comfort and inspiration.
I was just sitting here alone, thinking about the past and all I have lost. I am dreading Christmas, alone and trying to fill it with exciting things and people to share it with, and basically panicking that yet again, I have to face it alone. I am struggling , I have no work, no children, my husband left me for a friend 7 years ago, a lot of friends ostracised me or abandoned me. I didn’t do anything to deserve this behaviour but i got it and have to deal with it. I have a very small family, my brother died, I have no siblings and I only have my mum who quite frankly just looks after herself and is pretty selfish. I try each day to be positive, have gratitude, be kind to others, be thankful for my friends and off course my health.
I am trying my best to be thankful for the small support I DO have, try to go with the flow and know that this is a journey and everyone has shit to deal with a various times in their life. I feel very alone, you don’t want to share that with people because you sound like you feel sorry for yourself. I have lost a lot of confidence, And lost so much over the past seven years, I had it all, a sixty foot motor boat, three homes, own business, a ski chalet, lots of friends (or so I thought) and a husband who was a work aholoic, and it is true I find it hard, I look back and wonder where it all went wrong (my single friend who I employed, ran off with my husband who was wealthy!) and why did I deserve all of this. And I toss and turn at night unable to sleep, wondering what the hell I am going to do, how do I turn my life around and look forward to the future. Then I try to think back to being 18 when I felt the same way, I didn’t know what the future held for me, where I would work, would I have a husband, would I have children, would I have good health and friends, and I didn’t know then and I don’t know now. So your positive words of gratitude and taking a leap of faith and trusting and letting things pass, I have to keep telling myself, and reading, I try to be positive and enjoy the small things in life and in awe the beauty of everyday and the small blessings we are sent. Thank you for the inspiration now I just need to find some motivation to keep going. Merry Christmas everyone, especially if you are on your own this Christmastime, know you are not on your own, and others are in The same boat, so I will get my pleasure from helping, giving to the needy, and kindness, I will trust and have faith in the future.
I am. Not like the lady above, I have faced a lot of fears and travelled a lot on my own, seen the world, and sat and cried a few times too.
So I am lucky and grateful for that opportunity,. But I will face the future with faith and TRY TRY and TRY again to let go of the past.
I will open my heart and be mindful and basically COUNT MY BLESSINGS x