A big part of happiness and success is letting go of what you assume your life is supposed to be like right now, and sincerely appreciating it for everything that it is.
At times we all feel less than adequate. We feel like we’re running in place, struggling to make even the slightest bit of progress. And while this is a perfectly normal feeling, you have to ultimately break free from it and see yourself and your life in a more positive light.
The key is to pay attention to the small things. Just because you’re not where you want to be, doesn’t mean you’re a failure. In fact, quite the opposite is true. To be truly happy and successful today doesn’t mean you don’t desire more in the future, it means you are sincerely thankful for what you have already accomplished and patient for everything yet to come.
Train your mind to see the good side of what’s in front of you. Life is a series of thousands of tiny miracles. Notice them. Notice again and again how fortunate you are. The evidence is all around you right now, and it’s beautiful, and well worth gathering into your awareness.
Every morning when you wake up, think of three things that are going well in your life at the moment. As you fall asleep every night, fill your mind with an appreciation for all the small things that went well during the day. Examine your daily successes.
Give the power of your thinking to the positive influences in your life, and they will grow stronger and more influential every day. Remind yourself of what works well and why, and you’ll naturally find ways to make lots of other things work well too. The most efficient way to enjoy more success in life is not to obsess yourself with what hasn’t worked, but instead to extend and expand upon the success you already know.
Here are some much-needed reminders—sixteen good reasons you’re already succeeding in life:
- You are walking your own path, not anyone else’s. – One of the most foundational sources of both success and happiness is simply being comfortable with who you really are. Not trading your reality for a role or your truth for an act. Not giving up your freedom of thought. Not putting on a mask. So never let anyone’s ignorance, hate, drama or negativity stop you. If you desire to make a difference in the world, you must continue to be different from the world. Don’t be scared to walk alone on your own path, and don’t be scared to like it.
- You are gradually working through your fears. – As you know, running from fear is a race you’ll never win. In fact, what you’re afraid of dealing with is often precisely what will set you free. So keep doing what you’ve been doing—take another step forward today. Don’t let your fear decide your future. Don’t let it shut you down. Instead, let it wake you up! Take chances and indulge in the excitement. Tell yourself that the fear of suffering is far worse than the suffering itself. Convince yourself that everything you want is on the other side of fear. Because it is.
- You have not let failure stop you. – Every success has a trail of failures behind it, and every failure is leading toward success. Oftentimes our greatest insight comes from our failure, not from our accomplishments. It’s a matter of taking each lesson and stepping forward with it. At the end of the day, whether you choose to go with it, flow with it, resist it, change it, or hide from it, life goes on. If what you did today didn’t turn out as you hoped, tomorrow is a new opportunity try again, or to do something totally different. What’s important is to realize that you have a choice.
- You learn something new and grow stronger every day. – To find the best path forward we must occasionally stray from it. There are no wrong turns; only paths we didn’t know we were meant to walk. In the end, to be a success you don’t have to be perfect, you just have to remain perfectly capable of improving. Keep letting your mistakes strengthen you. Life is a series of little journeys. Allow each step to be a teachable moment. And don’t confuse your path with your destination. Just because it’s stormy sometimes, doesn’t mean you aren’t headed for sunshine.
- You have overcome some considerable obstacles. – Nothing is ever as bad as it seems. Nothing! There is a benefit and a blessing hidden in the folds of every experience and every outcome. Consider the possibility that the little obstacles in your life’s path are not obstacles at all, but stepping-stones to amazing places.
- You do your best to love what is. – A big part of success and happiness is not getting everything you want, but mindfully wanting what you get. After all, stress is resistance to what is. Continue to accept what comes to you totally and completely, so you can appreciate it, learn from it and then let it go. Sometimes the best possible response is simply allowing yourself to be at peace with what is, rather than wishing for, and bemoaning, what is not. It’s about doing the best you can with the hand you’ve been dealt.
- You try to be as present as possible. – We all have two lives. And the second one starts now, when we realize that we only have one. Really, nothing is worth more than today. Because you can’t change yesterday or accurately predict tomorrow, but you can ruin today—your real life—by worrying about those two illusory eternities. So stay present and focus on what you can create today. Tomorrow will reveal itself exactly as it should, just as yesterday already has. (Read The Power of Now.)
- You love yourself first, instead of loving the idea of everyone else loving you. – Putting yourself first does not mean being “selfish.” It means being self-aware. It means never forgetting to love yourself, too.
- You don’t judge people. – People are sometimes too quick to judge, but slow to correct themselves. You know this and you graciously do the opposite. It’s impressive, really. Because it’s much easier to judge people than it is to understand them. Understanding takes extra kindness and patience, and this “extra” is worth it. This “extra” makes a big difference in the end.
- You are the reason some people smile. – Do not miss a chance – not one single, tiny opportunity – to tell someone how wonderful they are and how beautiful they are, inside and out.
- You have incredible people in your life. – Your capacity to be both effective and happy is directly related to the quality of people whom most closely surround you every single day. Having just one or two of these people a phone call away is truly a priceless blessing. These relationships are worth celebrating.
- You have been selfless in your closest relationships. – Almost every immoral action ever committed can be traced back to a selfish motive. It is a trait we hate in other people but often justify in ourselves. The fact that you have made sacrifices for people you love is remarkable in every way. I know it’s not easy. It’s one of the very hardest parts of loving someone – you have to give things up for them. And sometimes, you even have to give them up, selflessly.
- You have given up doing things for others out of guilt. – Sometimes we give in to our loved one’s requests out of guilt. But we need to stop feeling guilty for not giving the people we care about everything they want. It’s sometimes a hard pill to swallow, but we foster the attitude of entitlement in our lives and relationships when we are ruled by a guilty conscience. It’s OK to say “no” to friends and family sometimes. You know this, so just keep doing what you know is right, and never let false guilt get the best of you.
- You aren’t overspending to impress or satisfy others. – I think it’s good for our friends and family to hear us say, “I can’t afford that” or “We will have to save for it.” Because that’s real life. We don’t have all the money in the world to buy everything we could ever want. If you think about it, I bet you’ve known families before who are working multiple jobs to drive luxury cars and keep their kids in expensive extracurricular activities, when honestly, everyone would be happier and better off with more family and friendship time and less financial stress.
- You respect yourself enough to never let anyone walk all over you. – A simple reminder, but so very important: Never, ever submit your self-worth or moral values to a relationship. True love and friendship can flower only under the sun of mutual respect. Some people may try to trample your garden and walk all over you, but you don’t have to sit there and take it. Period. (Marc and I discuss this in detail in the “Self-Love” chapter of the NEW volume of 1,000 Little Things Happy, Successful People Do Differently.)
- You know you can’t please everyone, and you don’t try. – That’s right. Keep standing strong. Don’t let the negative opinions of others derail you. Ultimately, there are two kinds of people – those who are a drain on your energy and creative force, and those who give you energy and support your growth. Avoid the first kind. May the bridges you burn light your way. Just be happy, be honest and be true to yourself every day. If others don’t like it, let them be. Success in life isn’t about pleasing everyone.
Now it’s your turn…
If you can’t check-off every point from this list, no big deal. This list is just a rough guideline. We all need our own time to travel our own distance, our own way. But keep in mind, the principle still applies:
Success is not a skill; it’s a persistent attitude. It’s not a place you arrive at; it’s a process you live through. It’s what you do every day. It’s what you are doing now…
You are succeeding in life. You just have to believe it.
(Note: Marc and I customize and implement all of the aforementioned points with our students in the Getting Back to Happy Course & Coaching.)
And Marc and I would love to hear from YOU today too…
What’s one successful, positive part of your life that you often overlook?
Please leave a comment below and let us know.
(Finally, if you haven’t done so already, be sure to sign-up for our free newsletter to receive new articles like this in your inbox each week.)
Amanda says
Once again you have managed to write just the right blog post. Often I feel as though you are addressing some of the fears, frustrations or trepidations I am going through right at that moment with what you write about. I’m also working through your course right now and finding immense value in it.
Feeling completely overwhelmed with financial hardships, a house filled with home repairs and constant messes, a husband who has to work a lot, two active boys (7 & 4) starting my own business and just finding out that we’ve been surprised with another baby I am feeling more overwhelmed and defeated than I ever have.
Let’s turn this around though: I decided to go into business for myself because I wasn’t getting paid fairly for my expertise in my industry. I have a lot of my own contacts and clients and begin my venture with paying clients. My husband works and provides a steady paycheck and supplies all of the necessary insurances. My house has it’s very own commercial space with its own entrance and half bath, and with a little elbow grease will make the perfect studio for me (with no rent!) my two boys are healthy happy adorable and full our lives with life (and toys strewn about) our family all kicks in and supports and helps us, even though they live quite a distance from us. My days are filled with bouts of nausea and I am definitely not as productive as I was 3 months ago but it is a temporary state and let’s face it…it’s a new baby! A new addition to this crazy, chaotic, messy life but that is equally filled with love, intelligence, acceptance and creativity. Most would say I “have it all” now I have to believe that.
Perry Fallen says
Thank you for your continued positivity. The 16 points above really hit home however No.13 really resonated with me. All my life I have had felt a overwhelming guilt for my father. Seven years ago he had an accident and as a result he is now a quadriplegic. Each year I feel I cannot do enough for him, however with a family of my own and and a business under extreme pressure I must. Compounding pressure I am experiencing in many areas of my life at present is becoming extremely stressful. I do revert to positive thinking but I feel I am on a roll-a-coaster. The little things in life that are the most important become all the more valuable. Keep up the great work. Your emails, blogs, or reading a few pages of your books always helps.
Kristin says
When I think about things to remember at difficult moments, I remind myself to not take things personally. Often circumstances and people can create situations that feel like they are actively trying to thwart me. But in objective, actual fact, these circumstances are almost never actually directed at me, but are things related to the other person or people.
By reminding myself that what other people do or say is not personal and does not have to be allowed to affect me on a personal level, I can step away from, or around it and continue on my own journey focused on the now – as you say in the post – and remaining positive.
Thanks for yet another timely wise email/post!
Barb says
Thank you!! Thank you!!
I am 72 years young and continue to need being reminded to celebrate what I have…the relationships I have. I so enjoy your emails/posts and work them into my life.
Lori says
Through life’s turmoil, you have the ability to, collectively, reach out to so many with simple, yet profound, guidance. Amidst today’s uneasiness with our state of the nation, your words are especially appreciated. It is so important that each of us stand in the light of truth and love to make sense of the negativity in the news. Your words are golden and continue to bring peace to many of us. Thank you.
Remma says
Thank for this post and for your course. Both are your words and coaching are helping me forward after a terrible divorce.
Adrian King says
I have lost two friends, a boyfriend and almost a family member due to drama recently by almost giving up myself, wearing a mask and letting go of my freedom.
Everyone has issues but the drama is draining. Very hard decisions, I decided to let these persons go, be in peace, move forward and walk alone on my path.
I actually feel a sense of relief, sadness yes, and even question if I did the right thing.
But for the peace of mind, happiness I feel right now I did the right thing.
Ur blog reconfirmed my correct decision and I will be empowered by it.
Thank u.
happycap says
Thank you so much for the positive title of your post!! I appreciate this sort of thing much much more than “40 grim realities you must embrace to be happy” or “10 ways most people shoot themselves in the foot.”
Patricia Brooks says
I look forward to your emails and marvel at their insightfulness. The world needs more people like you.
Thank you.
Joanne Reed says
I love your blog and your message and find it truly inspiring.
For me, the pace of life often catches me up and I’m often concentrating on the immediate issues, but if I look back I am a long, long way forward personally and professionally from where I was 12 months ago.
Gunther says
With #12 and #13, we have been conditioned to do something larger than us; however, we were not taught to still look after ourselves and we got shame if we did put ourselves first.
GWOR says
Tue Sept 3 2019
Like the person above I am 72 and like the thinking. Although health issues through a misdiagnosis ten years ago then rectified in latter years only because I qualified I had to design my own rehab program from pillar to post. More caching then remediation.And even yesterday I discovered phenomenal ballet exercises in stretching , balance & strength.Do not look for me at the Lincoln Center just at play I can now walk there.when visiting family nearby in NYC.
The point is your points give a new compass of many domains physical, financial etc..because my internal boundaries were shattered in my youth and the external walls tumbled with a betrayal and pension denied as GM while my staff members were setting up another company. So reading your points gives me renewal to only move forward and realize the sinking life boat is lifeless and rowing my own boat to my objective is central to my core survival And your many columns helps to clear my roadmap to stay out of the murky and dangerous water, off the rocks and look for the beacon to be brought into more light and when I am over my head it is knowing I can get help getting out of the bathtub. Congratulations to you .
Dee says
This was a joy to read. It’s so easy for us to key in on what we’re doing wrong and ignore what we’re doing right. Currently, number one and number eleven resonate with me the most. About a year and a half ago, I completely changed my career path and country. It was a big leap and sometimes I doubt myself but at the end of the day, I know I did the right thing for me.
I’m also happy to have such high quality relationships. I might not always be with people, but the people that I do spend my time or phone calls with truly lift me up and inspire me to be better.
I’m doing some work on number six however. I’m often obsessing over the past and the future and don’t always appreciate today. It’s mostly because I’m not completely where I want to be yet. But as time passes by, I’ve started to acknowledge that there’s always going to be something more that I want no matter what I currently have. Therefore, I should see the beauty in what so have right now.
Howard Phillips says
“We all have two lives. And the second one starts now.” SO true. My best life is starting NOW. My REAL life. Ignored my NEEDS, wants and desires my entire adult life. You will hear from me.
Thank you SO MUCH ANGEL!
Shrayan says
Hi Dear
sometimes I was things in my life somethings mission thinking about how I can succeeding this race of life. So now just after reading your article, the emotion can’t people control they can only give the way to change the thinking…
Thanks.