Our character is often most evident at our highs and lows. Be humble at the mountaintops, be strong in the valleys, and be faithful in between.
Why are we feeling this way—so beaten up and worn down?
Why do we, who start out so passionate, courageous, worthy and believing, become utterly bankrupt by the youthful age of 30, 40 or 50?
Why is it that one of us drowns in material consumption and debt, another self-mutilates, a third seeks oblivion in hard liquor and gambling, a fourth, in order to stifle fear and judgment, cynically tramples and berates her own individuality, intelligence, and priceless youth?
Why is it that, once fallen, we don’t attempt to rise back up? Or, having lost one thing, why don’t we attempt to seek another?
Why? Why? Why!!!
Because we give up on ourselves too soon.
We let that monster named negativity chew us up and spit us out into a mucky puddle of self-doubt.
And we’ve all been there at some point too. So, if you can relate right now, here are some important reminders to keep handy…
Reminder: Our 6th annual Think Better, Live Better conference is taking place May 28-29, 2022 in Orlando. We just released 10 more discounted early bird tickets that are still available right now (while they last). Check out the 2022 event here.
- When your marriage, parenting, faith, etc. gets tough, it’s not a sign that you’re doing it wrong. These intimate, intricate aspects of life are toughest when you’re doing them right – when you’re dedicating time, having the tough conversations, and making daily sacrifices.
- On particularly hard days when you feel that you can’t endure, remind yourself that your track record for getting through hard days is 100% so far.
- Have a little faith that the universe has a plan for you, and it’s all being revealed in the right time frame. Something you will eventually learn through all your ups and downs is that there are really no wrong decisions in life, just choices that will take your life down different paths. Sometimes you must get hurt in order to grow, or lose in order to gain. Sometimes the lesson you need most can only be learned through a little pain.
- Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.
- Life is not about maintaining the status quo. Life is not about playing it safe every second. Life is not about standing still and wallowing in self-doubt. It’s about connecting with your soul, respecting your integrity, and telling yourself that you’re able. It’s about taking a few steps, regardless of how hard and small they may be, so you can move forward and evolve. (Read Daring Greatly.)
- You must make a firm decision that you’re going to move forward. It won’t always happen naturally or automatically. Sometimes you will have to rise up and say, “I don’t care how hard this is. I don’t care how disappointed I am. I’m not going to let this get the best of me. I’m moving on with my life.”
- No matter what’s happening, you CAN efficiently fight the battles of today. It’s only when you add the battles of those two relentless eternities, yesterday and tomorrow, that life gets overwhelmingly complicated. Realize that it’s not the experience of today by itself that devastates you, but the regret and resentment about something that happened yesterday or the fear and dread of what tomorrow might bring. It’s necessary, therefore, to let yourself live just one day at a time – just today – just right here, right now.
- When you stop worrying about what you can’t control, you have time to change the things you can control. And that changes everything.
- Don’t worry about mistakes and failures, worry about what you’re giving up when you don’t even try.
- Making mistakes means you’re actually DOING something in the real world and learning from it. Listening or reading is often just listening or reading. It’s not real learning. Real learning comes from making mistakes. And mistakes come from gradual implementation.
- If you never go after it again, you’ll never have it. If you never ask again, the answer will always be no. If you never step forward again, you’re stuck right where you are.
- In the space between “I’ll try again” and “I give up” there’s a lifetime. It’s the difference between the path you walk and the one you leave behind; it’s the gap between who you are capable of being and who you have become; its the legroom for the fairy tales you’ll tell yourself in the future about what could have been.
- Everyone has a little talent. What’s rare is the courage to follow it into the dark places where it leads, and beyond. (Marc and I discuss this in detail in the “Goals and Success” chapter of 1,000 Little Things Happy, Successful People Do Differently.)
- Courage doesn’t always roar; sometimes it’s simply a whisper at the end of the day that says, “I’ll try again tomorrow.”
- If you’re still sitting there thinking, “Things should be different right now,” take a deep breath. That’s not true and you know it. Because if it were true, things would be different right now. Stay present and focus on what you can create today. And tomorrow will reveal itself exactly as it should, just as yesterday already has.
Now, it’s your turn…
It’s your turn to reinforce your better judgment.
All the love and validation you need is yours to give yourself.
Let that sink in. Then leverage the reminders above as needed to let it sink in even deeper.
Truth be told, someday everything will make better sense. Unimaginably good things will transpire in your life, even if things don’t turn out exactly the way you anticipated. And you’ll look back at these past times, smile, and ask yourself, “How did I get through all of that?”
So take a deep breath right now. And another…
And, please leave Marc and me a comment below and let us know what you think of this post. Your feedback is important to us. 🙂
(Finally, if you haven’t done so already, be sure to sign-up for our free newsletter to receive new articles like this in your inbox each week.)
Let me just say that right now I am experiencing some difficult times. Life is filled with challenges on a daily basis, but currently, I feel I am at a crossroads. Therefore, I can’t say it was just one thing that “struck a chord” with me. However, yesterday (during a conversation I was having with my friend) she said “remember what you deserve”, which you mention in *15. I think sometimes we neglect to put ourselves first, thinking maybe that is selfish, (at least I do). In an attempt to be fair, open minded and non-judgmental, I find myself accepting behavior that goes against what I believe in, making excuses and trying to justify bad behavior; and therefore, “settling” for less than I deserve. I forget or choose to “not” listen to that little voice inside. Standing up for what we believe in can be very painful; finding out someone you love and trusted has been deceitful and has betrayed you is devastating. Taking action to remove yourself from that relationship is frightening and can be lonely.
These weekly emails (and GBTH course lessons) help remind me to keep moving forward, to realize that we are right where we are meant to be, to live “one day at a time”.
THANK YOU, THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR YOUR WORDS OF WISDOM
I gotta say, #4 resonates so deeply with me right now, and it reminds me of a line from your 1000 Things book that I have recited to myself frequently over this past month:
“Without pain, there would be no change. But remember, pain, just like everything in life, is meant to be learned from and then released.”
Thank you, yet again, for all you two do.
You took the words right out of my mouth, from beginning to end, so I don’t need to say more, thank you.
Dawn Harris says
Yes, just what I needed at this time! At a pivotal moment in my life with a relationship , job and launching a business, I find myself very perplexed seeking clarity. However I know now that I’m right where Im supposed to be seeking the answers within n moving forward. Thank you so much for the confirmation!
Your blog posts and book always move me forward. I must say #3: resonates in my soul, because I’m the type of person that always want peace. However, confrontation will come. It does not feel good to me , but I always learn something about myself in the process. I work in a public place where I deal with a lot of people. Sometimes I have anxiety thinking someone will complain about something today. I’m always making sure I cross every T, and dot every I in fear, because the members are always right. I work at Costco which has a high volume of members. I love my job and I love people, but sometimes they are so rude and quick to complain if they don’t get their way. It’s something I’m working on. Slow progress.
I know that there are a lot of rude people out there. Just remember that what you see is not always what is really going on. Sometimes their life is falling apart and they can’t deal with that so they redirect their anger and you are handy so you get it. What I use to do is find something nice to say to them like I like that color on you and smile. Then say how can we make this better if possible touch their hand. If it is not something the company will allow then tell them that and say let’s see what else we can come up with to resolve this problem. Then say to yourself I will not allow this persons mood wreck my day . You may need to repeat that a few time. Good luck.
Mark B Hoover says
Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.
Reminds me of advice from my instructor when I was taking flying lessons: Takeoff is optional, landing is mandatory.
Richard Kofi Agor says
I have been following you for sometime now from Ghana. You website, books, and live event recordings have been very encouraging and life-lifting for me over the past couple years. Thank you very much for the numerous lives you guys are impacting worldwide
Hi M&A! Just watched the recording of you latest Think Better conference. I loved it and will watch again. And I feel like this post reaffirms some of my notes.
Truly, at 76 I’m much older than your usual readers and students but your wisdom actually applies to me even more because I have so many years to regret bad decisions!
Your lessons are strong and wonderful reminders to keep going and never feel it is too late to start to make necessary difficult changes in our thinking, and move toward more positive actions.
Judy Trout says
I am 77, and I agree that the lessons mean a great deal from our viewpoint. I used to say to my niece, “I’m looking at you from the other end of the road” when she asked me for advice. She laughed at that, but it’s true that years shed light on life. However, we benefit just as much as younger folks from the encouragement and guidance we receive from Marc and Angel and others. To say we have less time to implement chance is easy to think, but we all have only today.
I just had a major disappointment-yesterday! “Crushed” describes my mood as of last night. But, thanks to this writing and my own stubbornness, I’m starting again. If you don’t try and try again, you will never get what you want.
Thank you for today’s support, my family is going through a difficult time right now and this just helped me get through my moring.
Carylle Doherty says
I couldn’t have read this at a more needed time. I recently had a relationship breakup which was unexpected, and I have been completely destabilized. I kept thinking what I could have done differently to prevent it from happening, holding myself responsible. I am slowly beginning to see the situation more clearly and realize it was not about me, as this person had done this to me on two previous occasions. I trusted that he was solid the third time around and that the relationship would work out long-term. I now need to learn to value my worth enough to not accept this person back into my life.
I know I need to move forward and I want to as I know I deserve to have a happy life.
I benefit greatly from your readings and follow them on a regular basis. This one in particular was just perfect, to help me move through this day and deal with my anxiety.
Thank you for all the wonderful work you do.
Lance Hester says
Love the post, your insight, and the straight forward approach. I needed this. I’m struggling in so many areas and my faith is all that’s keeping me grounded right now. I’m so glad I saw your post in inspirational quotes and now your blog. It’s also nice to know we are human, all have our own problems and struggles and that there is always a chance/choice to do better. I’m praying for better days, not just for myself but for those I love and often don’t show it because I’m too caught up in my personal struggles.
From The Robinsons,. “Keep moving forward!”
I learned this during a meeting I had last night. It seems to go right along with what this article was based on.
Remember that ALL trials have an expiration date. Trials can easily discourage us, especially when they are prolonged. When under trial, we may be able to use shrewdness, knowledge, or thinking ability to change our situation. However, some difficulties will persist even after we have done all we can. But knowing trials have an expiration date can give us a measure of comfort.
So true. A great read good reminders in theredawn thanks.
Sandy Rosewood says
There is so much to be learned for me between falling down and getting back up again. I have started around 6 businesses and sold three so my strike rate is around 50% but I have learned so much and had such a wild ride I wouldn’t change it for the world.
Keep going, believe believe believe and don’t for even one second let self doubt cloud your judgment!
Orlando Perez says
I’m a 62 year old male and I am a chronic worrier. My negativity and mind sometimes get the best of me. Life has thrown me a few curveballs. I have gotten better and sometimes have a better grasp of things. I want to thank you for this.
Mikki Raye says
So very powerful, helpful, true and insightful. Much needed during this time of immense transformation and challenge and many will be touched and inspired by this article as I was. Thank You for being part of the solution our world needs and for being a part of the tribe of lightworkers keeping so many healing and breathing!