The morning is extremely important.  It is the foundation from which the day is built.  How you choose to spend your morning can be used to predict what kind of day you’re going to have.

Do you need help focusing on what matters most?

If you think happiness and success means making lots of money and buying lots of stuff, the answer to this question is yes.

Dirty, wrinkled sketches of dead presidents have never made anyone happy in the long run.  And how can you expect to be successful if you’re not happy?  Money helps along the way, but only you can make yourself happy and successful from the inside out.  There isn’t any amount of money that can buy that.

Real happiness and success comes from the quality of your attitude, your relationships, and the emotions you experience each day.  That’s where the questions below come in.  Ask yourself these questions every morning and I absolutely guarantee that your days will get happier and more prolific over time:

1.  What is the most important thing I can do today for my own well-being?

If you don’t take good care of yourself, then you can’t take good care of others either; which is why taking care of yourself is the best selfish thing you can do.

Every new day is a chance to change your life.  Work on making life all that you want it to be.  Work hard for what you believe, and keep your dreams big and your worries small.  Figure out how you can best serve yourself today.

Remember, you never need to carry more than you can hold, just take one small step at a time.  And while you’re out there today making decisions instead of excuses, learning new things, and getting closer and closer to your goals, know that there are others out there, like me, who admire your efforts and are striving for greatness too.

2.  How can I show my love to those I love?

You don’t need to be perfect to be a perfect friend or lover, but the commitment [Read more…]

“Last night I lost the world, and gained the universe.”
―C. JoyBell C.

Even after you let go, the past is still part of who you are.  Every one of us lives in the present and makes choices based on some part of the past.  This fact is simply unavoidable.  You are only able to read these words right now because of your past.  Your brain relates past experiences (or learned knowledge) to these words.

All forms of learning rely on your ability to continually reference the past.  If you think about it, many wise decisions you have made leading to this very moment were created through recalling what did or did not work in the past.  You are only able to do what you can now because of what you learned.  For instance, you only recognize a friend when she walks into the room because you reference a past connection with her.  In this way, you are using the past effectively.

But when you start behaving ineffectively because you think, “this is the way it has always been,” problems arise.  Old traditions may be useful, or they may stifle your progress and growth.  It all depends on how relevant they are to the present.  It’s your job to make this determination.

We talk about letting go of the past and moving on, but what do we really need to leave behind?  Since the past helps us at least as much as it hurts us, how do we know which pieces to discard?

Here are some things I have learned that have helped me:

1.  You are subconsciously matching patterns from the past with the present.

When an experience in your life has emotional significance, it gets tagged in your brain as being important.  When the emotional experience is tragic, it triggers your brain’s fear mechanism, which tells your brain to remain on the lookout for any future conditions that vaguely remind you of this tragic experience (it does this to protect you from future harm).  Your brain then tries to match new experiences with the original one.  But depending on how emotionally attached you are to the original experience, it can lead to ‘false pattern matches’ which will inevitably lead you astray.

For example: [Read more…]

There is little difference in people, but that little difference makes a big difference.  The little difference is attitude.  The big difference is whether it is positive or negative.
―W. Clement Stone

Why do we think negatively when we know better?

Because thinking negatively, expecting “the worst,” seeing the downside of positive situations, and even downright expecting failure, all convey a kind of backwards-thinking, emotional insurance policy.  It goes something like, “If I expect a tragedy, then I won’t be disappointed when it takes place.”

Our desire to want to be right is another common reason we subconsciously choose negative thinking.  Sometimes, as foolish as it sounds, we would rather be right about our negative predictions than have a positive outcome prove us wrong.  And since negative thinking leads to negative actions, or no action at all in many cases, by thinking negatively we create a self-fulfilling prediction for ourselves.  In other words, we think negatively, predict a negative outcome, act negatively, and then receive a negative outcome that fulfills our prediction.

Of course, none of this is what we truly want or need in our lives.  So how can we stop talking ourselves into these thinking traps?  Let’s take a look at four powerful ways to quiet the negative, inner voice that leads us astray:

1.  Start focusing on the grey area between the extremes.

Life simply isn’t black or white – 100% of this or 100% of that – all or nothing.  Thinking in extremes like this is a fast way to misery, because negative thinking tends to view any situation that’s less than perfect as being extremely bad.  For example: [Read more…]

Happiness is not something you postpone for the future;
it is something you design into the present.

Happy people do a lot of things.  They spend time expressing gratitude, cultivating optimism, practicing kindness, nurturing loving relationships, committing to meaningful goals, savoring life’s little pleasures, and so on and so forth.

But they NEVER…

1.  Mind other people’s business.

Forget about what others are doing.  Stop looking at where they are and what they have.  Nobody is doing better than you because nobody can do better than you.  YOU are walking your own path.  Sometimes the reason we struggle with insecurity is because we compare our behind-the-scenes circumstances with everyone else’s public highlight reel.  We listen to the noise of the world, instead of ourselves.  So stop the comparisons!  Ignore the distractions.  Listen to your own inner voice.  Mind your own business.

Keep your best wishes and your biggest goals close to your heart and dedicate time to them every day.  Don’t be scared to walk alone, and don’t be scared to enjoy it.  Don’t let anyone’s ignorance, drama, or negativity stop you from being the best you can be.  Keep doing what you know in your heart is right, for YOU.  Because when you are focused on meaningful work and at peace within yourself, almost nothing can shake you.  (Angel and I discuss this in more detail in the “Passion and Growth” chapter of 1,000 Little Things Happy, Successful People Do Differently.)

2.  Seek validation of self-worth from others.

When you are content to simply be yourself, without comparing and competing to impress others, everyone worthwhile will respect you.  And even more importantly, you will respect yourself.

How are you letting others define you?  What would you do differently if you [Read more…]