post written by: Marc Chernoff

10 Things to Do Even if They Judge You


10 Things To Do Even If They Judge You

What would you do differently if you knew nobody would judge you?

Truth be told, no one has the right to judge you.  People may have heard your stories, but they can’t feel what you are going through; they aren’t living YOUR life.  So forget what they say about you.  Focus on how you feel about yourself, and do what you know in your heart is right.

Here are ten things to do even if others judge you for it:

  1. Take care of yourself. – Your relationship with yourself is the closest and most important relationship you will ever have.  If you don’t take good care of yourself, then you can’t take good care of others either; which is why taking care of yourself is the best selfish thing you can do.  Read The Mastery of Love.
  2. Do what you know is right, for YOU. – Don’t be scared to walk alone, and don’t be scared to like it.  Don’t let anyone’s ignorance, drama, or negativity stop you from being the best you can be.  Keep doing what you know in your heart is right, for you.  Because when you are totally at peace within yourself, nothing can shake you.
  3. Follow your own unique path. – Every new day is a chance to change your life.  Work on making life all that you want it to be.  Work hard for what you believe, and keep your dreams big and your worries small.  You never need to carry more than you can hold; just take it one day at a time.  And while you’re out there making decisions instead of excuses, learning new things, and getting closer and closer to your goals, know that there are others out there, like me, who admire your efforts and are striving for greatness too.
  4. Lock yourself away from the world and work on your goals. – Dream big dreams, but realize that short term, realistic goals are the key to success.  Success is directly connected with daily action.  The way we spend our time defines who we are.  Successful people keep moving, by doing small things every day that bring them a couple steps closer to their dream.  They make mistakes along the way, but they don’t quit – they learn and press on.  Read Getting Things Done.
  5. Adjust your goals and dreams as life changes. – A great deal of pain in life comes from having a specific dream that you’ve fallen in love with, and when it doesn’t work out exactly as planned, you become angry that you now have to pursue a different path.  If you want to tame your inner demons and make the most of life, you must not become rigidly attached to just one specific dream, and remain open to there being an even better, equally as happy path ahead.  Life is unpredictable, but it provides plenty of opportunities to make dreams come true.  Just don’t forget that sometimes taking a positive step forward requires you to slightly adjust your dreams, or plan new ones – it’s OK to change your mind or have more than one dream.
  6. Forgive those who have wronged you. – Forgiveness is a gift you give yourself.  Forgiveness is an attribute of the strong and wise.  Forgiveness allows you to focus on the future without combating the past.  To understand the potential of everything going forward is to forgive everything already behind you.  Without forgiveness, wounds can never be healed, and moving on can never be accomplished.  What happened in the past is just one chapter.  Don’t close the book, just turn the page.
  7. Show everyone your love and kindness. – If you are reserving your love only for those who you have decided are worthy of it – all strangers excluded – it may come as a surprise to learn that this is not love at all, it is called judgment.  Judgment is selective, love is all embracing.  Just as the sunlight and the wind do not discriminate, true love does not make any such distinctions either.  Love and kindness is a way of living.  Where there is love, there is no judgment.  Where there is judgment, there is no love.  Read The 5 Love Languages.
  8. Stand up for others, even if it’s the unpopular thing to do. – Sometimes you will say something really small and simple, but it will fit right into an empty space in someone’s heart.  Dare to reach into the darkness, to pull someone else into the light.  Remember, strong people stand up for themselves, but stronger people stand up for others too, and lend a hand when they’re able.
  9. Fight through your failures. – When you are feeling down or dealing with failure, don’t be ashamed.  There’s nothing to be ashamed of.  You are going through a difficult time, and you are still pushing forward.  That’s something to be proud of – that you are fighting through it and slowly rising above it.  Let everyone know that today you are a lot stronger than you were yesterday, and you will be.
  10. Keep your head held high and keep on smiling. – Every day of your life is a page of your history.  The only time you run out of chances is when you stop taking them.  Don’t cry over the past, cry to get over the past.  Don’t smile to hide the pain, smile to heal the pain.  Don’t think of all the sadness in the world, think of all the beauty that still remains around you.

Photo by: Ben Smith

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43 Comments

  • Number 1 is awesome! Thank you for setting me straight. I needed to hear that.

  • Every time I read one of your posts I leave with a new positive perspective, and I love it.
    Thank you for helping make each day a bit brighter.

  • Due to the time difference I usually get to read these words early in the morning. There is no better way to start a day.

    You guys are wonderful; sharing these thoughts, sending love, beauty and light out into the world. Your good kharma bucket must be overflowing. You deserve no less.

  • The world is full of all positive and negative people and many of them will eventually judge you. There are only few things to follow and live by, like Love, Truth, Gratitude, etc. Whatever people judge or talk behind your back doesn’t even matter. Thanks for broadening my thinking over this matter. Thanks a lot for sharing the wisdom with us all.

    Have a lovely time, guys :)

  • I love #9. I think too often, people give up when they face failures. But often, our biggest victories lie in getting up and trying again. Our biggest victories come after a defeat.

    As I’m writing this, I have been watching the women’s team gymnastic competition. One of the ladies in the American team, Jordan Wieber, felt defeat just two nights ago after narrowly missing what she needed to qualify for the all-around. But tonight, she, and her fellow teammates, were absolutely amazing as they roared their way to gold.

    Every Olympics, there’s always a story of someone who missed medalling or who had a bronze or silver in one Olympics competition to only come back in the next one and march their way to gold.

    I like how Bob Proctor puts it in the 11 Forgotten Laws. He says that it’s inevitable that we will fail. But there is no failure. The only way to be a failure is to give up.

    Great post!

  • Thank you for this. It was just what I needed today.

  • So glad I found your website, your daily mail motivates me. I always look forward to reading and learning from you guys.
    Have a grand day.

  • I always feel encouraged when read one of your posts. Thank you!

  • “Don’t be afraid to walk alone and don’t be afraid to like it.” I loved that I read those words this morning. I am walking my unique path (see #3) right now and need to do it alone. And dang if I am not enjoying my solitude. Yet the world keeps whispering otherwise. So I embrace #4. Shush, world!

    Thanks guys for sharing your profound wisdom! Always spot on!

  • akbar y.khorakiwala
    August 1st, 2012 at 8:20 am

    I look forward to reading your posts every day…. thanks for inspiring me.

  • Wow!! #5 and #9 couldn’t have been put it my face at a better time :) Thanks!

  • Great post! Are you two Rascal Flatts fans by chance? #3 seems inspired by their hit song, My Wish. Was this coincidence?

    Either way, love this list. So inspirational and yet, sensible.

  • I love these posts… I look forward to reading them every day. However, #3 sounds similar a part of he Rascal Flatts song “My Wish.” The song is beautiful, so I see why it moved you. I wish you would have given a little credit to the source, though.

  • I really enjoy all of your encouragement. Do you have a book of these, or do I just continue to print?

  • I am still amazed on how I get these right when I need to “hear” them!!

    Thanks for sharing!

  • This was smoky beautiful! I really needed to read this and let it sink in…thank you :)

  • I recently subscribed to this blog, and I just had to let you all know how amazing it is. I think it’s very commendable that you all take the time to post such motivating, positive, inspirational topics. This one, along with so many others I have recently caught up with, is wonderful. Thanks :-)

  • As always, I am inspired by the words you choose to share. They are consistently brilliant and so well timed.
    I send you much gratitude and appreciation for allowing us (collectively) to simply be better people ….. :} J.

  • I am always in higher spirits after reading your articles. :)

  • I am so grateful for your posts. They always seem to apply to what is going on in my life. Thanks for being so inspired.

  • Thanks for the article. Fear of judgement is definitely a tough hurdle to cross!

  • I really enjoy reading all the daily posts and slowly implementing much of the advice into my life. Thanks!

  • I always love Marc And Angel’s Blog. This gives me self satisfaction. Especially this post is my next to-do list. Thanks.

  • You have no idea how much your words help me. I’m going through a tough time at the moment, and you inspired me to start up my own blog to help express myself and my thoughts. You bring me back down to earth and make me realise the reasons to smile x

  • Every day that I read your posts I am inspired and moved. The truths are so important, even self evident, but need to be spoken. Over and over.
    Every post I take to heart and pass them on to both my wife and 18 year old son.
    Thank you.

  • This is the best list I have read on this site for quite some time.

  • Thanks Marc. If anyone judges someone for any of these things it is simply that they don’t have the self-awareness and maturity to take responsibility for their own lives. They just judge those who do.

  • Fantastic article! Thanks for sharing. So many of us need to get into that mindset of “What would I do if I were completely free of judgement?” in order to truly be free, secure, and happy.

  • You are right on every point.

    Thank you

  • JUST WHEN I NEED IT THE MOST. THANK YOU VERY MUCH! :)

  • I do love the ‘lock yourself away from the world’ point. This is the one you might be most judged about, but it can lead to great revelations and self-discoveries.

  • Excellent post. I came across this on my LinkedIn updates and love it…especially #6. Another way to look at this is unforgiveness is like taking poison and waiting for someone else to die.

  • I have been doing these 10 things… no wonder why they love to judge me. :-)

  • Hi Marc, thank you so much for this lovely post. “You never need to carry more than you can hold; just take it one day at a time.” I will keep this one close to my heart. I always put myself under pressure, and usually think - I haven’t done enough.

  • Nice post, Marc, and thoughtful suggestions.
    I have to dissent with one of your claims, though; I think it’s important to judge each other. That’s where ethics comes from. I wish people like Bernie Madoff and James Holmes were more concerned about how others judge them. And when the “rest” of us don’t stand up to people like that and tell them that we judge what they’re planning is wrong, then I think they feel emboldened and self-justified. There is a right & wrong, despite what post-modern philosophy claims.

  • Thank you for helping us especially when we are lost. Just thank you.

    And for making us realize many things that is hard to figure out on our own.

    :)

  • Your words mean so much to em as I struggle through a difficult relationship with my mother, who never praises me, is never proud, or acknowledges anything I do or achieve. Your words make me realize that I have to let go (easier said than done) I am in control of me, and your words are helping eradicate her negative voice in my head. . .

  • Beautiful! It‘s great to be alive! Thanks, I love this blog sooo much.

  • Point number 6. I wish to share this and stand to be corrected where I may lack appreciation of the value and context of forgiveness and moving on !! I also want to discuss this for the benefit of other fellow women. Indeed I wish to know how many times one must move on, the age at which it is appropriate to move on and from whom one moves on from ?? I ask because I feel that sometimes this “moving on” is necessary and propounded by people that possess only “HINDSIGHT” not ” FORESIGHT” because a woman gets involved with a man who has nothing to offer, an illiterate, drunkard, pauper… and after they realise that life is deeper than sex they want to “QUICK FIX” their life at any cost even if it means stealing another woman’s man using lies and dirty tricks!!! May I be guided please.

  • Hi Marc and Angel,

    Why it is that all your posts seems to strike my heart? I feel light reading your articles. Almost all topics are for me. Really enjoyed your easy read articles. Continue to be a blessing to everyone :)

  • I love reading these, and i know someone so near to my heart that would appreciate reading these too. It’s a shame that we don’t talk anymore, oh how i know how much he could relate, or even take some advice to be stronger to do what he knows his heart and soul is missing. <3

    I love the inspiration I get on a daily basis… Thank you it means so much, more than you will ever know.

  • Number eleven is still the advice to beat!
    It’s surprisingly simple, yet profound!

  • Thanks a lot for waking me up! Much love.

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