8 Things to Remember When Everything Goes Wrong

8 Things to Remember When Everything Goes Wrong

“The best way out is always through.”
―Robert Frost

“Today, I’m sitting in my hospital bed waiting to have both my breasts removed.  But in a strange way I feel like the lucky one.  Up until now I have had no health problems.  I’m a 69-year-old woman in the last room at the end of the hall before the pediatric division of the hospital begins.  Over the past few hours I have watched dozens of cancer patients being wheeled by in wheelchairs and rolling beds.  None of these patients could be a day older than 17.”

That’s an entry from my grandmother’s journal, dated 9/16/1977.  I photocopied it and pinned it to my bulletin board about a decade ago.  It’s still there today, and it continues to remind me that there is always, always, always something to be thankful for.  And that no matter how good or bad I have it, I must wake up each day thankful for my life, because someone somewhere else is desperately fighting for theirs.

Truth be told, happiness is not the absence of problems, but the ability to deal with them.  Imagine all the wondrous things your mind might embrace if it weren’t wrapped so tightly around your struggles.  Always look at what you have, instead of what you have lost.  Because it’s not what the world takes away from you that counts; it’s what you do with what you have left.

Here are a few reminders to help motivate you when you need it most:

1.  Pain is part of growing.

Sometimes life closes doors because it’s time to move forward.  And that’s a good thing because we often won’t move unless circumstances force us to.  When times are tough, remind yourself that no pain comes without a purpose.  Move on from what hurt you, but never forget what it taught you.  Just because you’re struggling doesn’t mean you’re failing.  Every great success requires some type of worthy struggle to get there.  Good things take time.  Stay patient and stay positive.  Everything is going to come together; maybe not immediately, but eventually.

Remember that there are two kinds of pain: pain that hurts and pain that changes you.  When you roll with life, instead of resisting it, both kinds help you grow.

2.  Everything in life is temporary.

Every time it rains, it stops raining.  Every time you get hurt, you heal.  After darkness there is always light – you are reminded of this every morning, but still you often forget, and instead choose to believe that the night will last forever.  It won’t.  Nothing lasts forever.

So if things are good right now, enjoy it.  It won’t last forever.  If things are bad, don’t worry because it won’t last forever either.  Just because life isn’t easy at the moment, doesn’t mean you can’t laugh.  Just because something is bothering you, doesn’t mean you can’t smile.  Every moment gives you a new beginning and a new ending.  You get a second chance, every second.  You just have to take it and make the best of it.  (Read The Last Lecture.)

3.  Worrying and complaining changes nothing.

Those who complain the most, accomplish the least.  It’s always better to attempt to do something great and fail than to attempt to do nothing and succeed.  It’s not over if you’ve lost; it’s over when you do nothing but complain about it.  If you believe in something, keep trying.  Don’t let the shadows of the past darken the doorstep of your future.  Spending today complaining about yesterday won’t make tomorrow any brighter.  Take action instead.  Let what you’ve learned improve how you live.  Make a change and never look back.

And regardless of what happens in the long run, remember that true happiness begins to arrive only when you stop complaining about your problems and you start being grateful for all the problems you don’t have.

4.  Your scars are symbols of your strength.

Don’t ever be ashamed of the scars life has left you with.  A scar means the hurt is over and the wound is closed.  It means you conquered the pain, learned a lesson, grew stronger, and moved forward.  A scar is the tattoo of a triumph to be proud of.  Don’t allow your scars to hold you hostage.  Don’t allow them to make you live your life in fear.  You can’t make the scars in your life disappear, but you can change the way you see them.  You can start seeing your scars as a sign of strength and not pain.

Rumi once said, “The wound is the place where the Light enters you.”  Nothing could be closer to the truth.  Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most powerful characters in this great world are seared with scars.  See your scars as a sign of “YES!  I MADE IT!  I survived and I have my scars to prove it!  And now I have a chance to grow even stronger.”

5.  Every little struggle is a step forward.

In life, patience is not about waiting; it’s the ability to keep a good attitude while working hard on your dreams, knowing that the work is worth it.  So if you’re going to try, put in the time and go all the way.  Otherwise, there’s no point in starting.  This could mean losing stability and comfort for a while, and maybe even your mind on occasion.  It could mean not eating what, or sleeping where, you’re used to, for weeks on end.  It could mean stretching your comfort zone so thin it gives you a nonstop case of the chills.  It could mean sacrificing relationships and all that’s familiar.  It could mean accepting ridicule from your peers.  It could mean lots of time alone in solitude.  Solitude, though, is the gift that makes great things possible.  It gives you the space you need.  Everything else is a test of your determination, of how much you really want it.

And if you want it, you’ll do it, despite failure and rejection and the odds.  And every step will feel better than anything else you can imagine.  You will realize that the struggle is not found on the path, it is the path.  And it’s worth it.  So if you’re going to try, go all the way.  There’s no better feeling in the world… there’s no better feeling than knowing what it means to be ALIVE.  (Angel and I discuss this in more detail in the “Goals and Success” chapter of 1,000 Little Things Happy, Successful People Do Differently.)

6.  Other people’s negativity is not your problem.

Be positive when negativity surrounds you.  Smile when others try to bring you down.  It’s an easy way to maintain your enthusiasm and focus.  When other people treat you poorly, keep being you.  Don’t ever let someone else’s bitterness change the person you are.  You can’t take things too personally, even if it seems personal. Rarely do people do things because of you.  They do things because of them.

Above all, don’t ever change just to impress someone who says you’re not good enough.  Change because it makes you a better person and leads you to a brighter future.  People are going to talk regardless of what you do or how well you do it.  So worry about yourself before you worry about what others think.  If you believe strongly in something, don’t be afraid to fight for it.  Great strength comes from overcoming what others think is impossible.

All jokes aside, your life only comes around once.  This is IT.  So do what makes you happy and be with whoever makes you smile, often.

7.  What’s meant to be will eventually, BE.

True strength comes when you have so much to cry and complain about, but you prefer to smile and appreciate your life instead.  There are blessings hidden in every struggle you face, but you have to be willing to open your heart and mind to see them.  You can’t force things to happen.  You can only drive yourself crazy trying.  At some point you have to let go and let what’s meant to be, BE.

In the end, loving your life is about trusting your intuition, taking chances, losing and finding happiness, cherishing the memories, and learning through experience.  It’s a long-term journey.  You have to stop worrying, wondering, and doubting every step of the way.  Laugh at the confusion, live consciously in the moment, and enjoy your life as it unfolds.  You might not end up exactly where you intended to go, but you will eventually arrive precisely where you need to be.  (Read A New Earth.)

8.  The best thing you can do is to keep going.

Don’t be afraid to get back up – to try again, to love again, to live again, and to dream again.  Don’t let a hard lesson harden your heart.  Life’s best lessons are often learned at the worst times and from the worst mistakes.  There will be times when it seems like everything that could possibly go wrong is going wrong.  And you might feel like you will be stuck in this rut forever, but you won’t.  When you feel like quitting, remember that sometimes things have to go very wrong before they can be right.  Sometimes you have to go through the worst, to arrive at your best.

Yes, life is tough, but you are tougher.  Find the strength to laugh every day.  Find the courage to feel different, yet beautiful.  Find it in your heart to make others smile too.  Don’t stress over things you can’t change.  Live simply.  Love generously.  Speak truthfully.  Work diligently.  And even if you fall short, keep going.  Keep growing.

Awake every morning and do your best to follow this daily TO-DO list:

  1. Think positively.
  2. Eat healthy.
  3. Exercise today.
  4. Worry less.
  5. Work hard.
  6. Laugh often.
  7. Sleep well.


The floor is yours…

What helps you stay motivated when you’re struggling?  What’s something positive you try to keep in mind when everything seems to be going wrong?  Leave a comment below and share your thoughts.

Photo by: Antonio Buccella


  1. Rohit says

    I am so thankful to Marc and and Angel for this post. I was on the verge of ending my life as everything around me started going terribly wrong. I’ve been struggling with the same since 8 years. My Dad drinks a lot and has never guided me and my brother towards a better future. My mom doesn’t keep well, she’s always worried for our future and sometimes she cries too. I’ve spent all my life sitting at home looking after my mom and taking care of my violent Dad. He would never stop shouting and abusing people. This has made me mentally sick and afraid of going out. I couldn’t do jobs due to some kind of phobia that don’t let me participate in interviews..I am getting old and getting more scared each passing day. My family’s in debt too which sometimes gives me suicidal thoughts. I don’t have friends no relatives to ask for help. But one thing that the great lord has gifted me is my younger brother who always gives me strength to go through every day. I keep praying to God for my life to change. Sometimes it gets too hard to sit at home and going out somewhere to relax is impossible for me as I have no one to hang out with. All my friends have moved abroad and this makes me think of my life as a horrible punishment. We all do mistakes I may have done too. But I never hurt anyone on purpose and never think bad of anyone.

    This post has given me some hope that one day I’ll also have a joyful life to live and everything will be alright.till then I can only try to keep myself alive for my family.

    • Abigail says

      If I had been where you are at the time you posted this, I would have loved to have come and help in whatever way I could. Even though I am selfish by nature and know that I can only do so much, I would still want to help your family, because I understand what it is like to feel punished in life. Canvassing as a literature evangelist opened my eyes to the spiritual need in communities, and I learned of many people’s sufferings and questions about this life. Many of mine were answered in turn… Thank you for sharing part of your story.

    • nelsi says


      I hope you have been having better times by now.
      It’s good to know that we all share our sorrows on this site and that we are not alone.
      Please know that I care and hope you find support
      that exists for people like you who deal with alcoholic in the family.
      We can live well and feel happy no matter what. You deserve that too. Think about how much you deserve to enjoy life despite your father. Please believe that things can change inside your mind and you will dream of better times and happiness coming to you like righ now. I am on your side wishing you the best.


    • says

      I pray, pray that you take all of that hopelessness and break it into small pieces. Pieces that are manageable and take small steps each day to triumph over your fears. Do one small thing to overcome a phobia. Walk 2 steps out the door, then three… Let go of the people and things you can’t control, look in the mirror and smile at yourself. Look at the pain and know it’s not you. You are only experiencing it. You aren’t it. Much love.

    • lokesh says

      Things will change .. Sun will raise and you will shine.. Don’t ever loose hope on life. As we know hope is good thing, may be best of good things and no good thing ever dies..

    • jvalinbhatt says

      HI your life some what like my life . Kindly give your contact details.

      I am facing somewhere same issues. I want to keep in touch with you.

  2. Ebele says

    When things seems to be going wrong, I remember that there is nothing new under the sun that has not happened before. With this in mind, I am able to gather myself to brace up to the issue of concern prayerfully asking for a solution or way out. For me, there is always a solution and a lesson to learn when things go wrong. Life is full of ups and down. It is not a crime to be challenged, but it is a sin to be defeated.

  3. Juliet says

    Today was a very difficult day. Got bad news at work and at home. As I wept feeling completely overwhelmed with life, I see your article and realize I have a ton of things to be thankful for. And yes! Every second is a new beginning and nothing lasts forever! Thanks so much for your inspiring words.

  4. prashanth says

    The above points are worth million bucks to a hurting heart – they are really inspiring and helpful. As you said, tough times makes you tougher in the long run.

    Well said indeed.

  5. says

    Everything in life is temporary, pain is growing, and keep going are the three that stood out the most to me and are the most important to me. Everything you feel and go through is temporary. We often think we will always feel a certain way, but it isn’t true. Our moods and thoughts change. Thanks for the reminder to keep moving forward and remaining positive even if the world might not want me to.

  6. Lebo says

    I’m at the point in my life where I only see darkness – I’m just so broken inside .God knows I’m trying… Thank you so much for this article, I really needed this.

  7. Charles says

    I kinda disagree a bit with #6..Do what makes you happy. And be with whoever makes you smile often..It should also state: As long as the “Whoever” and the “Doing” is not making someone else “Unhappy”

  8. Christy says

    This really was an utterly beautiful article to stumble across… I’m 23, and it has been a strange sort of life so far… beautiful chaos. To stumble upon this has really helped. Thank you. endless love.

  9. Deb says

    Somewhere it is written that trouble shall come to pass.

    Nowhere is it written that it shall come to stay.

    ~Chinese proverb

  10. says

    “An Awakening”

    When I was diagnosed with Breast cancer a few years back, I reacted like most who receive a cancer diagnose; first thing came to mind was a “death sentence”. However, I found out later that it was truly “an awakening”. I began questioning God, why would you do this to me? What had I done in life so bad to have this placed upon me? But instead of bemoaning my fate, I decided to look for the positive side of it. There has to be a reason for it all.

    I also realized that I was about to face a new beginning, new hope, do and see more with a whole new prospective on life. When I think of the “gift of life” that was given to me, I know that I will develop and gain strength from all my experiences. After going through all that I did during my breast cancer period, I was left with a few complications I now have to live with; one being daily pain. For a while, I wasn’t happy with the way I looked around my breast area, nor the pain I had to endure each day, but I decided to snap out of it. Even after being diagnosed with another cancer (colon) a few years later. Which totally took me by surprise. But even with the pain I had to endure through each diagnose, and all the struggles I’ve dealt with all my life, I still feel truly blessed. I think about the individuals that are no longer among us. I also realized that there will always be someone worse off than I am. I reminded myself, that I “still have my life”, so who am I to complain.

    One day during one of my surgeries, I experienced something of a miracle, as if I went to the other side, so I felt the compulsion to write it down. I turn that experience into a poem and I called it “Peace”. Writing had become therapy for me. I took that poem, along with many others I had composed during my breast cancer period and placed them into book form. I was blessed enough to have that book published, called “True Simple Poems of Life, Faith and Survival”. I later had another inspirational children’s book published, with a third one on the way. I’m hoping that anyone who has the opportunity to read my first book of poems, get out of them, what I placed in all of them. My poems are from the heart, as real as any could ever be. With the words and phrases of each poem of statement, I wish to make a positive impact on someone who’s ill or otherwise, where they could develop the strength to embrace life in a whole new way. I never anticipated becoming a writer, I just became one. I truly believe when you survive a horrific tragedy or a horrible disease as cancer, it’s for a reason, “you have a purpose” and I want to live to find find out exactly what that is for me.

    That’s what I’m all about now, inspiration. I would have never become a writer, producing inspirational poems and stories, if I had not gone through all that I did. I’m a true example that you can survive cancer not once, but twice, providing you catch it in time, have faith and allow that faith to direct your path.

    Karen Rice
    x2 Cancer Survivor/Author
    Houston, Texas

  11. says

    I also realized that I was about to face a new beginning, new hope, do and see more with a whole new prospective on life. When I think of the “gift of life” that was given to me, I know that I will develop and gain strength from all my experiences. After going through all that I did during my breast cancer period, I was left with a few complications I now have to live with; one being daily pain. For a while, I wasn’t happy with the way I looked around my breast area, nor the pain I had to endure each day, but I decided to snap out of it. Even after being diagnosed with another cancer (colon) a few years later. Which totally took me by surprise.

  12. Tay says

    “Just because life isn’t easy at the moment, doesn’t mean you can’t laugh. Just because something is bothering you, doesn’t mean you can’t smile.”

    So true. Thank you

  13. Dee says

    I thought my life was a tragedy until I realized I had a choice. This is probably my all time favorite saying. It reminds me to not feel trapped. Even if I consider my other options not at all viable I still have other options. And I can always choose to make a change of some kind if I don’t like where I’m at. Even if it’s just changing my attitude or perspective.

  14. says

    Everything in life is temporary, pain is growing, and keep going are the three that stood out the most to me and are the most important to me. Everything you feel and go through is temporary. We often think we will always feel a certain way, but it isn’t true. Our moods and thoughts change.

  15. Susan says

    I have been in a rut the past several years, at least when I look at my list of things that I wanted to achieve. I was extremely excited to start working again in August, after a long break. I thought I had conquered some big things, and this new job would be my way to start over. Well, I was never more surprised when I received a separation agreement on 11/13/14. Sorry, let me correct myself, I was never more surprised when on 11/14, I picked myself up and started looking for a new job, and kept my sadness in perspective (mostly), and smiled at my friends and family (well, smiled, maybe with the occasional tear…I’m not perfect at this yet!). I loved this article because it speaks of strength, and facing your disappointments with a healthy perspective, and allowing that healthy perspective to get you through the negative, and into the positive. I am looking forward to looking back at this event, with more wisdom, compassion, and strength under my belt. Stay strong everyone :)

  16. Idi says

    All I want to say is a massive thank you. You’ve written about my life even we’ve never met. All my life I feel like I am stuck in a rut.

    Even with this said I completed my degree 2013 at age 50 years, after failing to accomplish this many times before.

    Now I want to start my own business and the world seem to be against me as I have no resources to do this or experience to call upon, but I know that I need to do it.

    But if nothing at all I know I have life experiences that I can bring to everything that I put my hands on. I have tried many times and seem to fail or something will block it. Then back to square one.

    The fact that I keep trying and never completely give up is a testament to my will power.

    I was in a middle of writing a proposal for customer service consulting and using the search engine and came across this site. I needed this and I will keep this and read it in time of feeling low and wanting to give up.

    Oh… thank you again!

  17. Suzanne Strachan says

    This post has been in my favourites for a while now & I can’t get rid of it as it is so uplifting and motivating.
    My mum has been diagnosed with 2 types of cancer and a rare genetic condition. On top of that she had an unrelated brain tumour removed last year. I hope I can be as strong as I was in 2014 for this year. Xox

    • Paul says


      I really needed to see this. I’ve reread it so many times. I got separated in 2013. I’ve lost my two babies as my ex has moved fafar away.

      I entered a loving relationship months ago but it ended suddenly. On top of that I lost a job which began only a few months ago.

      I was in distress. Completely lost and ashamed. But I realise the loneliness I feel can only be filled by God and a commitment to let him into my life.

      I’ve an opportunity now for a new job and I’m hopeful it will happen.

      I’ve learnt that if I get this job I will have to work like never before and do all I can for my babies as they need my support and so does my ex.

      Your article has inspired me to keep moving forward and persevere through my trials.

      Thank you so much


  18. Shannon says

    My goodness your posts’ are resonating with me completely today! I find that expressing happiness or excitement about something finally going right in your life is an open door for people’s negativity and jealousy to come forward. People will always fall back on the negative and list the ways that a positive change in your life is all wrong for you. Thankfully, I discuss my joys with God and my husband and no one else. God is our greatest champion and supporter, and the gifts He has given are overwhelming.

  19. Kathy says

    Thank you for today’s post. Your words/posts continuously keep me grounded.

    A comment a friend sent to me yesterday; “being alone is perfectly fine, other times you wish you had that someone to share with.”

    My reply this morning just before I read your post. “For me; being mindful today of the alone times, loving or hating it, will pave that path for when I meet someone so special, I realize that we are in a close relationship and I’m exactly where I want to be.”

    I’ve been divorced for several years and hope to one day meet that special person to share the rest of my life with. Yet I know in my heart I must heal from the pain of a lost relationship that had so much promise in the beginning. I know this scar must show yet over time will become faint. I know today I’m happy, content and exactly where I should be. With or without another sharing my life, I love, I laugh, I grow..

  20. petra says

    We must always remember never to be so absolute…There is not ALL..but some..There is not Everything but somethings…Things will go wrong but we always have a choice on how we ACT on it. Not everything is a crisis…

  21. dragana says

    I got fired 4 weeks ago. This is one of the best articles that I have ever read. Helping me find strength. Thank you for that.

  22. jake says

    It’s crazy how many things that are out of our control that we stress over daily. It can be overwhelming. Thank you for this post.

  23. Aaron says

    Good read, I couldn’t get far without shaking my head up and down in agreement, or actually saying “yep” out loud over and over. Thank you for taking all the thoughts and feelings I’ve had jumbled up in my head and laying them out nice and neat.

  24. tia says

    Everything happens for a reason. God has better plans than us. These two lines always help me keep going. And this post is really in time. I was seeking a little more motivation. . :-)

  25. Olivia says

    I’m struggling with all of this right now. I put myself out there to do something big and I believed great, but like with all things I believe to be big and great I have ever attempted, it is failing miserably – that saying nothing ever works out is just true for me. Most is beyond my control even though I try and try and try and dedicate so much of my time and energy to making it work. But all I seem to get mostly is misunderstanding, lack of help and support – especially from my partner who is adding even more stress to what is happening by berating me for what I’m doing at every turn and brings it up to show hatred for me – , feelings of helplessness and hopelessness, sadness and despair, and the knowledge that it is all going to end up in a crappy mess and people will judge me for my failure.

    All I want is a break. Every day it is another disaster or ‘no’ with this project. I’ve thought about walking away, but I have sponsors involved and don’t want to seem weak – plus it was announced in some media. I have thought about ending it for me too, just to escape it all. I feel like I am going crazy. And abandoned and alone.

    This line is especially poignant: Remember that there are two kinds of pain: pain that hurts and pain that changes you. I think it has changed me, but for the worse. It’s played into all my fears and experiences that nothing works out for me so I have to stop trying now. It’s like God is letting me know I’m not one to do great things, that’s for other people.

    I’m going to try to read this article again and again until something good changes inside of me. I may be here for some time.

    • Dawn says

      Hi Olivia –

      Your words could be mine VERBATIM. I just want you to know that you are NOT ALONE in how you feel. I too feel the same way. My fiancé doesn’t get how destructive he can be when I am trying to support us financially while we try and grow our company. He does stupid things daily and gets angry when I point out common sense things nobody with a brain would do! I want to give up. He’s drained me in every way possible. I feel hopeless too and I’m so damn tired that even death no longer scares me. Despite all the bullcrap I’m trying to keep positive even just a little bit daily. Something is not letting me give up and it might be my mother in heaven as well as my beloved dog. Try to think of one little thing you can turn to for some love and comfort. Just try. I know its terribly difficult coupled with depression, but I’m right there with you. No you are not alone in your thoughts. There are others out there like me that want you to know you are not alone. Much love and blessings.

  26. Liz says

    Loved your article!

    No one is immune from pain and struggle in this life-time, but we are also all deserving of happiness, and having our dreams come true. Even if that dream is just getting a hot fudge sundae after a long hard day’s work, where you totally screwed up on one of your projects and your boyfriend didn’t return your texts.

    Or if your dream is to have a loving family life because your parents didn’t know how to give you that and you have to become the creator of your own happiness.

    Your line mentioning everything that is meant to BE will BE is very true. We all come into this world with opportunities and a “knowing” about certain things that are meant to happen in our lives, certain lessons we are meant to “get through”, and the “getting through” is often the hardest part, but in the end the best part for us to learn and grow. And if dreams can happen for one person, they can happen for all of us.

    The best advice is to never become your circumstance, whether your parents were abusive, or you don’t have a job right now, or you don’t have a single person you can call a friend. You are not and never will be your circumstance, because it will always change and it’s not your true essence, you are so much greater and stronger than any circumstance.

    You have so many options, you are the person in charge.
    Whether it is sickness that comes into your life or a broken relationship, or just never being able to pay your bills on time.
    Don’t ever judge yourself or your self-worth based on your circumstances. It has a lot to do with how you choose to react to it.

    We are not meant to judge ourselves, or have other people judge us based on our infirmities, our bank accounts, our looks or who we choose to love. Life is too short and in the end none of these things will matter. Sometimes you just have to smile while crying, look at the real reason why you’re going through all this, what do you need to take away from it in order to get you prepared for the next crazy experience you’ll have in your life!

    Don’t let the obstacles and isolation and abuses tear away at your self-esteem and your self-worth.

    It’s like the article states, nothing lasts forever. Whether it’s good times or bad times. That is why we really need to live in the moment. No one’s life is perfect, trust me, mine can really stink sometimes. But it’s a life, we get to wake up another day and try again. And if circumstances are so hurtful and so painful that it’s hard to take, never take your life. It’s too precious, you were created for a reason, even if it’s just to put a smile on another person’s face, or even if it’s to live out your life in order to love yourself for all the stuff you survived through! Who else will be around to do it? Don’t give up!

    Keep going! Keep trying! Your very existence makes you an amazing being! And just your being here and surviving, loving and learning is a Purpose!

  27. says

    Your style is unique in comparison to other people I have read stuff from.

    Many thanks for posting when you’ve got the opportunity, Guess I’ll just book mark this blog.

  28. renatha cobb says

    Very well put!. I am going through a lot right now and I could use positive advice only. I have had a challenging job for over 12 years with nothing to show for it. No car anymore and can’t keep the job because my kids need stability. Now before you say what do you mean by challenging job with nothing to show for it what I mean is it is a live check to check job where I had to leave my kids behind for a bit and now I am in today’s society and its much harder to find employment. Some days I remain positive and other days it’s hard.

    I have three kids I have to provide for. I am not a male but I can say that I feel the ups and downs a man would when he has to provide and a women shouldn’t have to go through this. In my opinion a women is nourishing, loving, soft and gentle and the male is the back bone who can handle all of the pain and stress. However in today’s society a lot of people don’t realize that women have to do it all not because we want too but because we have too. I am a good mother and person hope one day a true real loving man can see that. I have lost a lot of friends along the way. I really don’t know why but GOD has never left me. They say your never given to much that you can’t bear I am still trying to figure out what that truly means and why do we have to bear so much. It’s hard to just relax a day or week or two without worrying about bills, food on the table, rent, etc. This blog was very touching I have to keep telling myself stay stronger life is like a rollercoaster that never ends. I pray a lot.

  29. Liz says

    We have to remember that basically we are all looking for the same things in life, to be loved and accepted. But what we sometimes have to realize is that that love and acceptance has to come from within first.

    Many of us live our lives not even knowing ourselves.

    We do a lot of self-dialogue in our heads, we do a lot of staring at ourselves in the mirror. But how well do we really know the person we are? How many minutes a day do we take to give ourselves a pep talk, or a compliment? How about just being able to take the time to feed ourselves a nice breakfast in the morning?

    We make sure our kids or pets are fed, but why not ourselves?
    When did we start believing that we were not worthy enough?

    It’s wonderful that there is a site like this one in which we can read about other people’s struggles and victories. We are not alone, we are unique, but many of us face the same challenges and pain.

    The most successful person has worked just as hard as you and I, they have felt just as much doubt and disappointment.

    It’s all based on decisions and how we think our way through situations in our lives.

    Someone can not believe in my abilities and my talents and I can choose to believe them, and then never allow myself to even try to do something I may be very good at.

    Someone can not believe in my abilities and talents and I can choose to NOT believe them and then go ahead and TRY to do something and be VERY good at it!

    I can sit at the front of the bus, or the back of the bus. It’s all my choice. And it’s amazing how all these small choices end up effecting where we end up in life. Who we have in our lives, how others act and react.

    It’s the ripple effect, like dropping a small pebble or a big rock in the ocean. Whatever decisions or actions we take, there is a broader effect.

    So we must never believe that our presence here is not important. Everyone is here for a “reason”. A single mother who works two jobs and comes home to try and figure out what to make her children for dinner is the reason for those children who wait for her. They are the reason why she gets up each morning.

    She is worried about feeding them and what they think of the life she is providing for them, that it’s just not enough. While her children deep in their hearts are just grateful she’s there and just seeing her is more than enough.

    A husband who sits by his ill wife lying in the hospital bed is the reason for her. And her years of love and dedication are his reason. Each of them knows what the many years of life on this Earth has brought them, both good and bad, but they are so grateful to have spent each and every last one of them together.

    Never under-estimate your value to another person, even a stranger. If you work in a coffee shop, you’re greeting your customer each morning with a friendly smile and that may be the reason why they feel welcomed by someone, when everyone else doesn’t know they exist.

    I try every day to be the “reason” for someone else.
    I’ve learned that sometimes when we can’t bring ourselves to do it for ourselves, because for whatever reason we don’t think we are good enough or worthy enough, we have to just do it for someone else. You’ll be amazed at how doing this actually makes you feel better!

    Some of us are just too humble and too hurt to allow ourselves to believe that we are worth the amazing breaks or the wonderful relationships, and so it’s like that saying goes, “You have to fake it until you make it.”

    I’ve found that I don’t get very far by stopping! :))

  30. Elouise says

    I Love this post. I have been dealing with a lot of life issues lately an everything I read really lift my spirit up. I thank God for giving u the message to give to. me.

  31. Liz says

    Every day we get another chance to try again. Just the fact that we wake up makes us winners in this Life. It’s like a special gift that allows us to see what Life has for us today and a chance to make new choices and experience new things. Sometimes good things, sometimes not so good.

    Choices seem to be something that we constantly have within our reach, but constantly take for granted or forget we have them.

    Every single second of every single moment in our lives are based on our choices. We are given a million different ways to do things, to think about things, choices to make. It’s amazing when you stop to think about it!

    I can wake up and have cereal for breakfast, or have no breakfast at all. I can decide to drive or to walk to work, to speak to someone or ignore them. It’s never ending. And what’s amazing about it all, is that Life will follow your choices like a special partner in a special secret game and give you all these wonderful new things to experience.

    Sometimes it will lead you to a great new job or meeting the person of your dreams. Sometimes it will lead you to the hard lessons in Life, where you are faced with some pain and hard choices.

    I know that I can feel defeated, trust me, very easily!
    But there is always something within me, I know it’s within all of us, to shake it off and make a conscious choice to not let it bring us down.

    It’s like ” Oh no, I just lost my job, what do I do now?” and you choose to go into panic mode, you cry a little, you isolate yourself, you berate yourself because you feel you’ve done something to deserve losing your job and you start making the choice to wallow in this unfair circumstance.

    Or you can say “Oh seriously? I lost my job? Again?” LOL
    Because some of us are lucky enough to have it happen quite a bit.
    And you choose to see it as Life giving you a challenge in a game.
    Isn’t that why they sometimes call it “The Game of Life?”.

    And you choose to see the reasons behind this event.
    Why did I lose my job? Was it because they were cutting back?
    Was it because it was time for me to move on anyway?

    Then you get this amazing gift from Life, you get to “try again”.
    Yes, Life likes to give you that “try again” card. :)

    Then it’s a choice if you try again or if you don’t.

    But if you’re already in pain, if you’re already hurt, isn’t it worth trying again, but with a better chance at a better reward? A new chance to get closer to that happiness we all deserve?

    It’s always best to be kind to ourselves. It’s time to stop the unkindness of our thoughts about ourselves and how we are living through this Life. Enough with living with the negativity, with actually looking for the negativity, in the news, in office gossip, in our situations.

    No one really gave us a handbook for Life, no one really has all the answers or all the solutions. Everyone is trying hard with whatever resources they have. Some of us have more money to help us, some of us have more friends, some of us just have this amazing strength of spirit and determination. Which personally I think are the best people with the best stories to tell about Life!

    That’s why I love reading all these amazing posts about how people are experiencing their lives and being able to share both their pain and their victories.

    All of them are an amazing group of people :)

  32. Liz says


    Every person who chooses to keep trying and keep living is an amazing example of the real strength and courage of our human spirits!

    All my admiration and appreciation to you!!

  33. Murfad says

    Really these words worth a good treatment to a wounded heart. I have almost lost myself in family problems. I lost my identity completely. My first mistake was i let people talk bad about me and my family on behalf of me. I just kept quiet because i was worried about losing my married life. And these people took my worry as an arrow for their wish and started playing with my emotions. Some people are even so bad and so helpless that even if they know that what is happening is not correct they keep on supporting the wrong people some may be due to fear and some may be due to emotional blackmails and some purposely kept quiet. Like this people started playing cheap games with me. I was left all alone. My husbad husband was staying with me not living… he was all worried about his family emotions and they nicely used his emotions to play with me…. when i was all depressed with lonliness i read this article and truly it is a very good heal to THE WOUNDED ME…. I really thank for sharing this post. I am even happy that many friends have read this post and have commented… it’s really inspiring…. Thanks for showing me the light to travel my rest of the life. …

  34. Liz says

    Each of us has a purpose here.

    Some of us go through certain situations in our own lives so that we can become true teachers to others through our experiences.

    It’s like they say “the best students get the hardest lessons”.
    And quite often it stinks to always be that “best student”, because it’s hard going through adversity or hard times. It’s really hard having to wait for someone to really love you or for that cheque to come in the mail, or that big lotto win that will change everything!

    But for some reason, in the end, after we all go through all our pain and suffering and doubts, we always come out better for it.

    It’s strange how that happens.
    After going through all that bad stuff, we are better people.
    We are better friends, better spouses, better parents….

    I think it is because our soul evolves. We become closer to the person we are meant to be and the purpose we truly have here on this Earth; in this life-time.

    The stories we share with others about what we go through become their story. And then we start to find that we are not going things alone, but together….

    Take away whatever good thing you can find in each day!


  35. Susan says

    Good article especially the part where nothing lasts forever. Living in hope that I can be strong enough to take care of myself so that I can care for my ill husband. One day at a time. Thank you.

  36. Ivy Iris says

    I’ve been going through a lot lately, a lot of hard and painful things.

    I feel like life is a forest. The entrance is sweet, innocent and bright with new colours of lime and brown, with so many new things an the need to explore is overwhelming, but as you move deeper into the forest you realized that you’ve wandered too far. The trees loom over you and cast long magnificent shadows, the wirey brambles tug at your feet, and the branches block your vision. You do not now where you are, you do not know how big this forest is and you do not know how much longer you can keep trying. But if hope guides your way, then you can move the branches from your path and make it back to a grassy field. For some people the forest is so big that they spend years in its willows shadow, some people may even give up in the forest, and some may even not enter in the first place. You need light and hope to enjoy the forest and all it’s beauty, and you need people to enjoy it with.

  37. James Sheldon says

    To know and create great joy…one must experience great sorrow…one does not exist without the other…..

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