10 Things to Remember When You Feel Lost and Alone

10 Things to Remember When You Feel Lost and Alone

“Being alone never felt right.  Sometimes it felt good, but it never felt right.”
―Charles Bukowski

“This morning I felt lost and alone as I was driving home after a brutal breakup with my boyfriend.  I turned on the radio and the Michael Jackson song ‘You Are Not Alone’ was playing.  A few seconds later, at the exact moment the chorus began, I passed a huge billboard sign with big black letters that read, ‘YOU ARE NOT ALONE!’”

That’s the opening paragraph of an email I received today from a reader named Ella.  It made me smile because I love when life delivers seemingly coincidental, positive messages like that, right when we need them most.

However, the rest of Ella’s email further described her ongoing struggle with feeling “lost and alone” in life.  Which got me thinking…

Why do people have to feel this way?  What’s the point of it all?  Millions of people in this world, all of them craving connection, and looking for specific experiences and people to satisfy them, yet inadvertently isolating themselves in the process.  Why?  Was the planet put here just to nourish our loneliness?

The more I’ve experienced and explored my own feelings of uncertainty and loneliness, the more I’ve realized how necessary these feelings are.  It’s good for us to spend time exploring unknowns, alone.  It gives us an opportunity to discover who we really are and what life is all about.

Here are some things to keep in mind when you feel lost and alone:

1.  You are not alone in being alone.

So many of us are fighting the same exact battle alongside you.  We are all in this together.  So no matter how embarrassed or pathetic you feel about your own situation, know that there are others out there experiencing the same emotions.  When you hear yourself say, “I am all alone,” it’s just your worried mind trying to sell you a lie.  There’s always someone who can relate to you.  Perhaps you can’t immediately talk to them, but they are out there, and that’s all you need to know right now.

2.  Sometimes when you’re lonely, you need to be alone.

Sometimes you need to be alone, not to be lonely, but to enjoy a little free time just being yourself and finding your way.  In other words, the moments you feel lonely are the moments you may most need to be by yourself.  This is one of life’s cruelest ironies.

We need solitude, because when we’re alone we’re detached from obligations, we don’t need to put on a show, and we can hear our own thoughts and feel what our intuition is telling us.  And the truth is, throughout your life there will be times when the world gets real quiet and the only thing left is the beat of your own heart.  So you’d better learn the sound of it, otherwise you’ll never understand what it’s telling you.  (Read Quiet: The Power of Introverts.)

3.  You have to be a little lost first to find what you’re looking for.

Not until you are lost in this world can you begin to find your best path.  Realizing you are lost is the first step to living the life you want.  The second step is leaving the life you don’t want.  Making a big life change is pretty scary.  But you know what’s even scarier?  Regret.

I can tell you from my own life experience that I’ve found love, lost it, found it, lost it and then I found it once again.  But each time what I found was more incredible than the last.  So remember that everyone suffers in life at some point.  Everyone feels lost sometimes.  The key is using your experiences to grow.  When you apply what you’re learning to your future choices and actions, you move forward not backward.  You become stronger and wiser.  It’s not easy, but it’s worth it in the end.

4.  It’s all about accepting the reality of what is.

You cannot find peace by avoiding life.  Life spins with unexpected changes; so instead of avoiding it, take every change and experience as a challenge for growth.  Either it will give you what you want or it will teach you what the next step is.  And remember, finding peace in life does not mean to be in a place where there is no noise, no challenges, and no hard work.  It means to be in the midst of those things while remaining calm in your heart.

Honestly, life is too short to spend at war with yourself.  The biggest disappointments in our lives are often the result of misplaced expectations.  Letting go of needless expectations is your first step to happiness.  Come from a mindset of peace and acceptance, and you can deal with almost anything and grow beyond it.

5.  In every situation, YOU choose your attitude.

Be determined to be positive.  Understand that the greater part of your misery or unhappiness is determined not by your circumstances, but by your attitude.  A happy person is not a person who’s always in a good situation, but rather a person who always has a good attitude in every situation.  So smile at those who often try to begrudge or hurt you; show them what’s missing in their life and what they can’t take away from you.  Doing so doesn’t mean forgetting or giving in, it means you choose happiness over hurt.  (Read Buddha’s Brain.)

6.  Being alone does not mean you are lonely, and being lonely does not mean you are alone.

The trouble is not always in being alone; it’s being lonely in the presence of others.  One can be lonely in the midst of a crowd.  Wouldn’t you agree?  So keep this in mind and choose your relationships wisely.  It’s always better to be alone than to be in bad company.  And when you do decide to come back for someone, do so because you’re truly better off with this person.  Don’t do it just for the sake not being alone.

7.  Everyone you care about does NOT need to support your decisions.

Friends and family won’t always support your goals, but you must pursue them anyway.  Follow your intuition.  Following your intuition means doing what feels right, even if it doesn’t look or sound right to others.  Only time will tell, but our human instincts are rarely wrong.  Even if things don’t turn out as you anticipated, at least you won’t have to spend the rest of your life wondering what could have been.  So don’t worry about what everyone else thinks; just keep living and speaking your truth.

Ultimately, you know you’re on the right track in life when you become uninterested in looking back, and eager to take the next step, regardless of what anyone else thinks.

8.  You are not who you used to be, and that’s OK.

You’ve been hurt; you’ve gone through numerous ups and downs that have made you who you are today.  Over the years, so many things have happened – things that have changed your perspective, taught you lessons, and forced your spirit to grow.  As time passes, nobody stays the same, but some people will still tell you that you have changed.  Respond to them by saying, “Of course I’ve changed.  That’s what life is all about.  I’m still the same human being, just a little stronger now than I ever was before.”

9.  The best you can do changes from day to day.

Always do your best.  And realize that “your best” is going to change repeatedly.  For instance, it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick.

Under any circumstance, simply do your best in the present moment and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse, and regret.  And remember that no matter what’s happening, you can efficiently fight the battles of just today.  It’s only when you add the battles of those two abysmal eternities, yesterday and tomorrow, that life gets overwhelmingly complicated.  It’s necessary, therefore, to let yourself live just one day at a time – just today – just right here, right now.  And do the best you can in it.  (Angel and I discuss this in more detail in the “Self_love” chapter of 1,000 Little Things Happy, Successful People Do Differently.)

10.  It all matters in the end – every step, every regret, every smile, and every struggle.

The seemingly useless happenings add up to something.  The minimum wage job you had in high school.  The evenings you spent socializing with colleagues you never see anymore.  The hours you spent writing thoughts on a personal blog that no one reads.  Contemplations about elaborate future plans that never came to be.  All those lonely nights spent reading novels and news columns and comics strips and fashion magazines and questioning your own principles on life and sex and religion and whether or not you’re good enough just the way you are.  All of this has strengthened you.  All of this has led you to every success you’ve ever had.  All of this has made you who you are today.

The floor is yours…

What helps you stay positive when you feel lost and alone?  What’s something encouraging you try to keep in mind when you’re up against lots of uncertainty?  Leave a comment below and share your thoughts.

Photo by: Little Zoker

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Comments

  1. Sara says

    I feel less alone simply for reading both this article and the comments below it :-) Time to stop feeling sad and look outside of myself I think.

  2. Esther says

    It amazes me to know that whatever struggle I may be facing at the moment whether it be depression and suicidal thoughts, anxiety and the fear of going insane, loneliness and sadness, there are people who’ve been where I am and the things they have written through their struggles have been captured. These blogs and comments could be from a decade ago, or a year ago, or a month ago, yet I am able to read them at my moments of struggle and still find insight and support.

    Like @Cynthia has said, it is quite sad that in real life it seems like you’re alone in your struggles such as deep loneliness because we all stay silent on such matters in fear of being abandoned, humiliated, misunderstood, ostracized, vulnerable, labelled negative or crazy or unhealthy. As if society is all but a never-ending masquerade. What would real life look like if we were able to talk about such things openly with our own family members and friends and strangers alike without fear of judgment and we all connect and support each other like we do online? In society, we all interact with one another trying to convince others that we are perfectly normal, healthy, happy, and sane leading a busy, productive, and social life.

    Like the song Demons by Imagine Dragons. The video speaks volumes about society and how we are all seen and judged at face value yet connect somewhere somewhat. Like Christopher McCandless from Into The Wild who abandoned civilization and went into the Alaskan wild unprepared…perhaps he questioned society and expectations and sought something more substantial than the status quo. Like the song Habits (Stay High) by Tove Lo shows that people with emotional voids fill it with self-sabotaging habits like binge eating, drugs, alcohol, sex, and partying.

    I know what depression is, rapid cycling is, anxiety is, and what loneliness is. But loneliness is the most difficult to explain in words. I hold onto hope though…I read another blog post about loneliness and in the comments there was a woman who revealed she feels pathetic and embarrassed that she would take weekly trips to the local store just to talk to the cashier at checkout because that was her only form of social connection in her life. Like in Edward Albee’s The Zoo Story, Jerry goes to Central Park to strike up conversations with complete strangers who gives him the time of day to listen because of his loneliness. I saw a video podcast of a TED conference on the bridge between life and suicide. The speaker was a man who worked at the Golden Gate Bridge and inadvertently became a crisis worker saving lives of people who were on the verge of jumping to commit suicide. He talked about a young man who wanted to jump and how he listened to this young man’s story for an hour and the young man on his own came back over the railing to continue living. The speaker revealed that when he asked the young man what made him climb back over the railing and not jump was simple. “Because you listened.”

    I feel like I ventured off topic of loneliness into questioning society and suicide but that was just my two cents. If even one person has read my reply and found it remotely comforting and helpful then I’ve done my job as a fellow human being.

    • Kevin says

      Thanx for sharing.
      I gotta say that it is amazing how just having someone to talk to or relate to your struggles help ease the suffering and let a little bit of light through. The more you try to see what’s out there , the better we understand life.

    • melody says

      Thank you for the comments, it does help a lot when you feel so alone. I have people around me but they don’t know what to do with me. I know they mean well, its seems the more they say, the more they aren’t listening.

      I’ve been down before but never lost the strength to get up and fight. I have an injury that constantly causes pain, as long as I don’t move around to much. I can’t work, I tried to in the beginning, but it made it worse. I’ve worked at the same place for half my life, they don’t seem to understand or care to. I’m just causing an inconvenience for them. I think I’ve been naive, thinking people really care about you, but when it becomes complicated, you see their true colors. I’m absolutely heartbroken. I don’t know where to turn for help, my life is coming apart. I’ve learned that chronic pain causes the depression, I find myself not letting anyone know for fear of the stigma surrounding it. I used to be full of life, always the fun, talkative one, always helping anyone in need. I’m trying to stay positive, day at a time, but very afraid of what is going to happen in the future. Once my benefits and finances run out what do I do. I’m supposed to be the strong one, its not easy asking for help. Life is so precious it can change in a few seconds as it did for me. Life changing indeed. I appreciate reading everyone’s stories, its a comfort to know I’m not alone, although I wish all of you happiness and peace and it was under better circumstances. We are always learning, its seems. I never thought I would be put in this position, do I work under severe pain, with people who most likely wish I would quit, or do I ask for help and use the services offered to people who find themselves in this situation. I hate being so sad, I can’t seem to stop the tears. I feel I’m letting everyone down, as I am going out of my mind with worry.

      I see I’m not alone, and it can always be worse. Thank you to all that post on here, I greatly appreciate it. It does help very much. Thank you Marc and Angel

  3. Urvashi Agarwal says

    I just can’t believe I was all in tears few minutes back..and now I am all calm amd composed.. thank you so much..:)

    • Abinash says

      Same here. I am living alone to crack an exam. In the midst of preparation I often feel as if I am let down by my fnds . But this article brought some cheers

  4. Kristina says

    This spoke to me at a deep level because of the situation I am currently in. I have been feeling so despondent because I feel so alone in college. Everyone seems to be having fun with all their friends and I always feel left out and left behind. But I realize now that sometimes it’s okay to be alone. I need to take some time to focus on myself and become the person I am meant to be without the distraction or judgements of others. Thank you so much.

  5. Jeff says

    For me, STACK YOUR SUCCESSES! Everyone has had points in their lives where good happened. Either they mustered up enough confidence to approach a girl and engage in conversation and it went well. Maybe it’s holding the door for the little old lady and the sweet thank you and smile she gave afterwards. Maybe it’s the successful business dealings that rewarded your pocketbook handsomely. These are all positive successes. For me, I seem to forget these when I’m feeling alone or lonely. What you need to remember is they still happened because you were you and more will happen in the future and throughout your entire life. So I grab a piece of paper and pen and start writing all the ones I can remember down. I’m always surprised with how many I come up with and you will be too. I find this tool to be very helpful when I’m not feeling good about myself. Brings hope. :-)

  6. says

    Some of the post here are very inspiring…I thought it was just me that felt this way! My story, long term relationship broke up recently (but the reality is it had been going downhill for years). Worked in education for 15 years but got made redundant just before X-mas. Father died a few years back and an old friend of mine committed suicide last year. I Live alone apart from a spoilt cat and just recently turned 50. Not a great start to the new year, I have had better : )

    I spend most days alone and yes I am very lonely, but I’m starting to realise that in reality I’ve been lonely for years! Being in a relationship that isn’t working can only lead to loneliness. I have tried to walk away on numerous occasions but somehow always seem to get dragged back in, only to end up in the same place again. I feel isolated, although I’m sure some of this is self imposed. I don’t seem to have the energy to do even the simplest things, and it’s a real effort just to get dressed and go out. I was on anti-depressants last year but don’t want to go back to them. The negative side of me can see no light at the end of the tunnel, there’s no hope left. The positive side of me tells me not to be so stupid, I’ll find a new job sooner or later and I will meet someone to share my life with, and it will be more loving. The battle rages between both sides every day, and it depends on which side is dominant on the day dictates how I’ll feel. It’s easy to sit at home and rip myself to pieces (which I’ve done on too many occasions), so I try to keep busy and remind myself of the positives in my life.

    The positives… I’m told I’m not a bad looking man for my age (but I don’t see that when I look in the mirror). I became a grandfather for the first time on the 24th December. I’m a good listener and can hold an intelligent conversation on most subjects. I’ve got a good sense of humour (so I’m told) but it is a bit sarcastic. I’m passionate, loving, honest, have empathy and I’m down to earth. Don’t get me wrong, I’m walking a very lonely road where nothing in life is clear any-more and I can sit at home for days on end without seeing or speaking to another human being, and rip myself to shreds. That said, there’s a little faint voice inside me that tells me that this is just a temporary state of affairs. I have to believe that or I wouldn’t get out of bed in the morning. So for all those posting on here I would just like you to know you’re not alone in the way you are feeling. Things will get better given time. Maybe the lows have to be so low to make us appreciate the highs when they return.

    P.s I also write poems, it keeps my mind active. I don’t claim that they’re any good, but that’s not the point in writing them. They keep my mind busy and I enjoy writing them. When I’m writing my mind is busy, therefore I don’t focus on the negatives. Here’s one, hope U like it : )

    The bloodiest battle of words
    Was fought here today.
    On this blood stained ground
    My sword I’ll lay down
    There’s nothing left for me to say
    So I’ll turn, I walk away.

    Co’s it’s all been a dream
    Just part of a scene
    Taken out of a book
    That we both mistook to be real.
    Just a moment in time
    That lasted for years
    That finally faded away
    Drowned by the tears.

    Enemies at war
    Is what we became
    The pain runs so deep
    The scars will remain
    You were blinded by victory
    Whatever the cost
    Yes all the battles you’ve won
    But the war’s been lost.

  7. Grant says

    Hiya,
    I just typed ‘I feel so alone’ into google because I guess I currently feel that way, and don’t really feel comfortable talking to anyone about it. I ended a 3 year relationship with my gf over the weekend and it’s made me realise that I am quite alone without her. I live far away from my friends and family, and almost entirely relied on her for a social life. I pretty much sit in the house all day and waste my life on the internet and smoking cigarettes. I hate myself for it but can’t seem to be bothered doing anything else. My dad called me today to say that he is leaving my mum after 40 years of marriage in some sort of horrible coincidence. It was like a phone call to the future, I don’t ever want to be like that but I don’t want to stay with my gf just to stop me from being lonely. I have a great job that pays really well and gives me lots of spare time. I go on holidays regularly to places most people will never go. I drive a lovely car and live in a great apartment in the heart of one of the coolest cities in the UK. On the face of things, i should be the happiest guy in the world, but nothing could be further from the truth. I hate feeling this way, and I feel horrible at myself for my inability to be happy. A lot of the time, I find myself asking myself ‘is this it?’ I went to a life coach/therapist for a few months but couldn’t take them seriously and just pretended to go along with what he was saying, so he wouldnt be embarrassed that he couldn’t ‘fix’ me. British people problems right? you pay a guy $100 an hour and you end up feeling sorry for them. Basically there are large amounts of times where i think, whats the point of doing anything? its all just a distraction, just a time wasting exercise to occupy your mind for a while. its been nice reading everyone elses stories, I’m glad it’s not just me who feels like this. I have great times with friends, and socialising, but seems like the bad times or more specifically, the boring/feeling alone times are more frequent. I don’t really know what to do, or even if there’s anything I can actually do.

    Anyway thanks for reading.

    • Magdalena says

      Hi

      Hope you are feeling better..
      It’s been few months since you have posted how lonely you are…
      I feel exactly the same way for last few years and I am trying to find the way how to overcome this feeling…
      Any advices??

      M..from Canada

  8. Becky says

    I am not sure how I found this web site. Maybe because I have been feeling so lost and lonely. Trying to find myself, trying to forget the heart break, trying to accept what has been going on in my life for almost a year now and getting ready to prepare myself for yet another chapter in my life.

    Thank you, thank you! I plan to read and re-read this and other articles here. I never thought in a million years that I would be where I am now. But, I truly believe that these words of wisdom and obvious life lessons learned was written by someone that honestly understands.

  9. says

    It is very true that we are never alone, but I think sometimes modern society drives us apart. The world would be so different if we all made a little effort to reach out to people.

  10. Jace says

    This really helped me see things in a different light. It’s hard when you feel like you are the reason for your own lonliness. Then you are left struggling with forgiveness as well as the lonesome part. But there is always a reason that you do something that leads your life in a different way, and to accept that some things just don’t work out the way you had planned. And that’s ok! Because it was necessary for you to have this time alone in order to grow. This really helped me feel better, and I’m grateful for that!

  11. Pooh says

    I was feeling very lonely for about a week. That’s when I googled what to do if you feel lost and lonely. This site popped up! I’m truly happy that I came across this blog! The loneliness during the week was ever since I got a small doubt about my boyfriend. A week later I found out that my intuitions were right . He was cheating on me. He had a girlfriend for the past 5 years ( they are still together ) and he has just been using me for the past 1 and half year! Those promises and dreams that he gave me were shattered !! The story is a long one but I realised one thing… No matter how hard they try to hide the truth it will come out one way or the other ! It was hard to get over this ! I felt even more lonely! But the words from this blog were scribed somewhere in my mind and it really helped me! Now it’s been 3 months … And I can happily say that all is well.. I’m glad it’s over and I’m glad I went through this phase because i was blinded by love and this was an eye opener for me!! I’m always thankful for the good words that I happen to read in this blog. It really helped me! Thank you!!

  12. Jimmie says

    I usually feel sad, lonely and start having symptoms of serious diseases when the night comes. Then it takes hours before I can fall asleep. By the next day I usually feel better but then the night comes again…

    I’ve found out that talking it through can help a lot, but I feel like no one can really understand me because they don’t know what it’s like to live like this. So I’m looking for someone feeling like me, someone I can chat with, share feelings, take stuff out of our heads.

    If someone wants to talk this through please let me know.

    • Daniel says

      Hey Jimmie, i know it’s been a while since your last post, but if there’s any chance you’re reading this, i want you to know that you’re not alone. I feel the same, and I’m not saying this just to make you feel better. I am a student, currently studying in a technical course and every day, in the morning i feel better when i am in school. There’s classmates and teachers to talk to even if it’s just about work.

      Then come night time, when it’s after school and i feel all alone, i get these intense feelings of loneliness. My weekends are always spent on the internet and playing video games because i do not know what else to do and i dread the school holidays because i would feel even lonelier.

      Anyway, i would be really happy to have someone to talk to about these feelings so i hope we end up chatting somehow.

  13. Cameron says

    I feel alone, and the worst part is, I really shouldn’t. I have a girlfriend, and she loves me and I love her, but I’m just so insecure and for some reason it makes me feel alone, I pour my heart out to her, I always remind her everyday about how much I love her, how beautiful and how perfect she is…and I don’t really get anything in return, im enlisted in the Marines, and I feel so alone with all this stuff added on. Anyone here have any advice?

  14. Sam says

    Life is really funny. I never thought I would post something like this on a website which talks about loneliness. But guess what here I am writing this one hoping this one makes my heart lighter. I was never strong on the social aspect of my life. So I had a couple of friends and I don’t live with my family and they hate me. I had an argument with my friends and now I am all alone. Never had any girl in my life so that rules out the possibility of any girlfriends. Now I know how it feels to be alone. It almost feels like I don’t have any idea what I am going to do in my life. I sit in a dark corner in my room and I pass everyday. I cannot sleep at nights and its been really getting bad with each passing day. I pray to God he never makes anyone alone.

  15. John Doe says

    I lost the love of my life. She is an addict. She wanted to live a life filled with debauchery. She wants only money and physical gratification. Fifteen years of marriage lost. Four children effected. I live in solitude now.

    I am not sad. I am not sorry. I feel pity for her and I pray for her.

    Everyone… Listen. Love Unconditionally. They changed, you don’t have too. You can still Love them. Just let them go and Love them no matter what happens, who they are with, what they say… it doesn’t matter. No one lives forever. Be good and take the high road because some day they will come up for air and see that you were the person that truly loved them no matter what. You will grow in Love and maturity and reap the rewards of a life lived with love. I walk alone for the rest of my life. I vowed to love her till death parts us. I will.
    No biggie. Some of us are meant to walk alone, but we are also the nameless heroes who will come to your aid when you least expect it because… you guessed it… unconditional love taught us to be Love in action.

    Take care my friends.

  16. Rodrigo says

    Words like this make it easier for me to move on, I can’t thank you enough for it. I fell in love with someone who I though was a good friend. I really thought she cared about me for the person I was, just as I did with her. Despite me trying to make it work as a relationship, and doing everything I possibly could to get back our friendship, she despises me now . Every time I see her I feel so alone, I gave her my heart and she didn’t know what to do with it. I used to make her smile, now I just make her uncomfortable. I’m not bitter, and I really do wish she finds happiness. I just wish I didn’t feel so terrible for trying to love and care for someone who I thought would have understood me.

  17. Gregg says

    At 52 and 4 failed marriages over a 27 year period, I for the first time since my teenage years have been without a relationship for 5 months now. I’m learning more about myself and most of all learning to let go of all the past good or bad, with hopes of leaving it where it belongs when or if I meet a new lady friend to date. It’s uncharted waters for me and being alone is a huge fear.. I’m not a young man anymore and I realize this.. Thanks for the positive messege and it helps to know I’m not alone.

  18. Yep me too says

    Don’t know what to say ? Is there a solution to being lonely ? Great stories here and sort of “good” to know that I am not the “onely” lonely !! Worst of all – I am the headmaster of a high school !! I work 12 hrs a day just so that I don’t have to go home. I have a friend or two far away that I whatsapp with but we “voice-app” and I would play the same message over and over again just to hear somebody else’s voice. Is there a solution ? And please don’t tell me to be patient because I’ve been patient for 10 years since my ex decided it was time to upgrade. I see myself as a decent percent who have always been loyal to my wife, I don’t drink and sleep around, I don’t fool around even while being divorced. And then you read “there are no good men out there anymore” ???? Haloooo !! Am I missing something ? People who’s never had a headache will not know what it is. People who has never been alone do not know what it is. You have no, nothing, zilch, zero idea of what is. But when I leave my house for work, I have to be okey. If somebody (including my parents) asks me “How are you ?”. I reply “I’m great thanks !! How are you?). And then they carry on as if they never even asked the question. Well, I’m sick of being okey !! I’m NOT OKEY !! Can’t you see it ? What the hell must I do for you to take notice ? I’m sick of being lonely and not God (and I see myself as a Christian) or my patience is going to put and end to it. Whereto from here ? God ? Please help me, I love life, I love my job, I love 99% of the things I’m doing but I HATE BEING LONELY !! I am sick of it !!

    • says

      I am feeling the same way, that’s my reason to google why am I alone. Mine started from teenage days, I never had lots of friends but yet I don’t have a problem making friends but unfortunately they never stayed around. I want to believe the only reason they stayed around it’s because they are either lonley, having problems or seeking advise. I was always up and down going places for them, when they were in hospital I was the one driving all over the place but the moment they got back on their feet, I was dropped like a hot potato.

      I do have a partner and he lives far away so we only see each other once or twice per week the most because of his job, I have several miscarriages and not one of my acquaintance never showed up or even call to say hi. I only wish I could have my own child to have the company and to spend time with them and my partner. I crave fro my own family that it has underpinned so many things in my life.

      I ask God lots of questions but never get an answer to this day, my pain and anguish is so deep only God alone knows how it hurts. I ask God why does He gives me an empty house because there;s no one in it apart from me, that’s not what I worked for or hope to have but a house full with quiver as to His words.

      If I could only understand why or even have a clue then my life would be different, my job is the only thing that is keeping me going, not even at work I have any friends, I socialized and get the job done but as soon as I go through the doors, my sheer sense of loneliness started and reading to get home.

      I had was to take a lodger in in order to feel there’s someone else in the house but that’s about it. I felt so use by others, there was never a day I was expecting things from anyone because I am very independent, I have a job, have a lovely home and drives a lovely car but yet I am lonely, material things means nothing to me because I cannot communicate with the house or with my money. Looking back over my life, there’s nothing I would change because I am a compassionate person and that’s my character and it cannot change but some people take advantage of it, now am feeling drained, tired and most of all lonely.

  19. Grace says

    This really helped me remember that YOU decide how you feel. Perspective is a big part of life and happiness. Self pity is also never a good thing, it’s easier one piece at a time and if you do all things with love you will always find a way.

  20. Mr. Happy says

    Great article.

    What helps a lot is to understand the brevity of life. Life is literally a moment, every thought, every action has an incredible impact on our existence. There is no time for feeling down, each second counts.

  21. Mr.Lost says

    Hello,

    Thank you so much for sharing this article.

    I swam in several sciences, but i forget to learn well about my psyche, and this guide helped me to focus more and correct the sequence of my perspective of Life&World.

    Logy is the base & reassuring self, is the full happiness.

    Thank you so much.

  22. Felipe says

    Hi Marc and Angel, I am 28 years old and a pharmacy student. My family lives in Colombia and I have been in the state of Georgia for 10 years now and basically see my parents every 3 years or so. I am extremely extroverted and personable but lately I have felt lost spiritually and living in sin. I have never felt like this before but like you mentioned I am learning a lot about myself and “appreciating” this “rough” patch of my life. Around others I don’t feel it as much but when lonely it surfaces quickly. My instincts tell me that I am undergoing a major transformation in my life–for the better!

  23. Halena says

    I love this post. Sometimes, I do feel lost, lonely, and alone. It is better than what it was several years ago. But, I just have to keep fighting that voice in my head saying that I’m not good enough. This article will be a pick-me-up whenever I feel down. Thank you for making such a beautiful work.

  24. Joe says

    Loneliness is a sad place. I lost my spouse to cancer last September, after 16 great years. Now I don’t seem to be having any luck finding where I belong in the world now. It’s a very difficult place to be. I miss my husband so much it hurts! He was my rock, the one person in the world I knew I could count on always! He loved me no matter what, and that is something very special. I don’t sit and focus on feeling sorry for myself because it was God’s plan for things to be the way they are. I don’t begrudge him passing on to the heavens because he had been through so much and it was the only way for him to be out of the pain and misery that he was living. I did what I could-at least I hope-to make his last days easier and happy as I knew how hard it was on him. I was hard on me too. Sit and watch your love of your life slowly die, it broke my heart and when he did pass he took part of my heart with him forever! Now since October his two adult kids that I helped raise are hellbent on trying to take anything they can get from me, the lengths people go to it’s unreal, starting with his daughter, she stole his will because she knew that he was leaving everything to me. Instead of pulling together and deal with loss she went on the mission to get what she could and use me in the process because she knew my state of mind was not good, a perfect target for her. It gets better, she recruited her brother to help her in her plan to take me to the bank I guess you could say. Anyhow a long story short, we are still going through courts which never had to happen because we didn’t have much and it didn’t even require probate but they knew it would make it harder on me and easier on them to burn me. So I just have to pray God will take care of me and not let these greedy kids to get away with this twisted plan. Maybe God will let them see what they are doing is wrong and let their Dad RIP, because after what has been going on I can’t imagine that he is.

    Thank you for this soy and letting me vent. God bless you and I hope and pray he blesses me with peace and acceptance that things will get better.

  25. andra says

    Like everyone said, this article is all I needed to calm down and smile and make me know that It will all be ok soon.
    I guess there is a reason for every ups and downs that life has to offer.
    I was feeling desperate tonight because I am tired, I have been having severe insomnia lately…I struggle with insomnia since I was a little kid but now it’s harder to deal with because I have work to do and no sleep means low quallity work which leads to frustrations.
    I am 23 years old, and all the articles I found on the web regarding depressed feelings and aloneliness were about teenagers and adults.
    I am not a teenager anymore but neither I am an adult. Somwhere in between…
    I am an visual artist and designer, and also a student at my secod BA.
    Being an artist may lead to varios frustrations, the feeling that you’re not good enough, that you don’t work hard enough, that time is pressuring you…that people may not like you and the fear that you may not be an artist at all…
    I have collected deep dark fears even though I had succes with some of my projects
    I have gain a large number of frustrations in this life even though I am young and good looking.
    I started even seeing myself ugly and couldn’t stand looking in the mirror.
    That led to being socially awkaward and after all my lifetime friends moved from my town, I was and still am incapable of making new relationships so lonliness is something I am started to get used to.
    I realised that all is just about how you set your mind.
    We have control over our minds and our minds are more powerfull that anything in the world.
    So we really need to learn how to control our minds and be exactly who we want to be
    Happiness is a state of mind.

  26. muhammad says

    Absolutely brilliant, thought-provoking ideas about life. You are enlightening us about the meaning of being lonely.

  27. says

    There is nothing wrong with being alone. ;o) Most of the people on Earth are alone. It just looks like they live “together”. Do not give your power over you to another. You are the One. Just go inside. Do not look outside constatntly. Turn to yourSELF.

  28. SomeGuypassingby says

    This was actually quite inspirational, thanks for the article it gave me a few things to think about.

  29. AloneLonelyWonderingSearching says

    I’m not a religious person but the scripture in Corinthians 13:13 encourages me and keeps me going when I feel lost and alone.

    And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

    I don’t have special talents. I don’t possess a vast toolbox of skills which are in great demand. I don’t have a personality that draws people to me. All I have is a desire to love and be loved in return.

    As I enter the last chapter of my life, I want for my life to have meant something to someone. Otherwise, what’s the point?

    I keep hoping and I try to have faith, even though it’s often difficult……

  30. searching for somthing says

    I’m 23 y.o and I was feeling lonely and lost, but I read this article and I’m feeling better. I had a son I lost to the system and I haven’t spoke to him in over 2 years… I’m hoping that he remembers me like I remember him…I want my son back but at the moment I can not provide a stable house for him. I don’t have a job and I’ve been feeling lonely. I finished Lpn school but since then I’ve not no interest in studying or anything… but in my mind I know that I have to do something because no one is helping me. For the past month I been just sitting in the room I live in looking at the four walls not eating and thinking way to much. I don’t talk to family or people that I remember. I’m so down I looked for drugs as a way out…but a way out of what..? What am I running from?

    Today I thank you for this passage. It has me thinking better thoughts.

  31. Pat says

    Well hello to all. Glad I found this post. You have many good replies here. I have been searching for solutions to my loneliness too for about 6 years since I lost my husband. I now feel the world has forgotten me and I have also forgotten myself. I recently retired and now have so much time to lose myself in self pity. Not what I had planned for the rest of my living years, but it is ery hard to think beyond whats been haunting for a long time. God Bless to you all.

  32. Chris says

    I am in my late fifties and have felt totally alone for all of my adult life. I have no family so am alone in the world. I have few friends though I do go out and meet people. But in my heart of hearts I am tired, empty and deeply lonely.

  33. Trish says

    I Googled what to do when you feel sad and lonely. I’m glad this popped up because I’m dying to be heard, to have a voice, to share my pain. I feel guilty to spread chaos. That’s what it feels like. I want to feel normal. I was sexually abused by my father, mentally abused and ignored by my mother. I’m 48 and the feeling of woe is just as alive in me as it was 34 years ago. This happened to me from as far back as my memory will reach until I was 14. Most days I have learned to pick myself up and move on with my day. Other days I find myself wanting to escape to a life where everything makes sense. Night time is the worst. The daylight comes and I find comfort in the light. I’m swamped with emotions I feel I have no control over. I feel abandoned and withdraw from the world. My best efforts find me failing over and over again to move on and accept the life I have now. I can’t do this. Because no matter how bad I feel, how devastatingly alone and dark I feel…I will never give up hope. I will never give in and say enough is enough. I will never, ever let my parents win. Because I am worth saving…and so are you.

  34. Terra says

    I still very much alone, I am so scared because I really don’t have someone that would absolutely always be there for me. I want to feel unconditional love but most important I want to feel safe :(

  35. Lost & Not Found...Yet says

    Have been struggling to leave an abusive relationship, complete my dissertation, and truly find myself. Didn’t realize I had no idea who I really am. Most comforting idea? It’s perfectly okay to be lost for a minute or two. That’s where we start finding where we want to be. I appreciate that more than I can say. It’s terrifying to step past where you’ve been, strip it all away, and be so unfamiliar with what’s left. I hope I’ll be found soon… but in my own time, and the right way this time. I’ve spent all my life running. Running to the next thing, the next thing, running away from feeling lost. Maybe it’s time to be.

  36. says

    THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR WRITING SUCH A BEAUTIFUL HONEST REALISTIC AND INSPIRING ARTICLE!!!! I feel relatively mentally strong n happy with who I am (much more than what I have) but I went searching for an article like this because I want to maintain being strong to know how to avoid being weak and what to do if ever I get back to feeling lonely!!! You said all the things I knew (in a much more articulate way) and a lot of things I never thought of. I shared this with my friends on FB not just because it’s brilliant post but I’m tired of denying what we all feel , hurt. I also subscribed to emails . God bless!

  37. LC says

    I thank you for these words. At 47 years old, two kids (who are the only things in my life that matter) and an unhappy marriage for 17 years, I am not sure of anything anymore. It seems I’ve dug myself into a hole by making work too important and alienating myself from my own family (parents and brother) and ignoring developing relationships. I’m lost for awhile…but the only thing I can do, as in all challenges in life, is pick up the pieces and keep trying to move forward. As was said above, never give up! To those who want another inspirational message, please read Desirata by Max Ehrman. It is a wonderful poem. I hope you all find inner peace, fulfillment, and happiness soon. I love you all.

  38. Regan says

    Really moving. It takes a fair bit to get my interest, but in my current situation of family breakup, addiction, depression. It really hit home.

    Thanks :)

  39. Dora says

    Very uplifting…always look forward to your articles. I always try to find something positive in every circumstance. Blessings!!!

  40. Natalie says

    Hello,

    Well this is a first for me… Not the loneliness but the commenting. I felt very humbled reading this article and all the comments. I have battled depression for as long as can remember, and reading this made a smile spear through my tears… On paper my life looks quiet ok, two beautiful children, a loving husband, but…. And that’s just it there is always that “but”… I feel so alone. There I have written it! So misunderstood, and so frightened… Through the years of depression I have come out stronger and then to only re experience the same horrible feelings… I have tried medication to no avail, therapies oh so many therapies I just can’t pull myself up and out once and for all! Possibly because I’m in training and that’s what I hope deep down that after all this, one day I will overcome! If I had only one wish from the genies’ lamp that would be it, to overcome Depression… The lonieness is unbearable at times it feels like physical pain… I have come to realize that I do not have someone to confide in, someone who actually knows me even… Someone I feel safe talking to…. Nope no one… But I have this comment and boy do I feel better having put this all into words written in front of me!
    Thank you for reading me, I hope you get better soon too.
    Natalie, France.

  41. Valentino Pereira says

    What you said really touched me.. im 19 and feeling lost in life.. i always thought of going to a councellar, but never did. I dont have a goal in life. All i do is game whole day and hurt my parents.
    On reading your post which was multi-contented ranging from heartache, lonliness, goals etc. im really feeling motivated :)
    Thank you author.

  42. Hannah says

    Thank you! I can breath again! It’s amazing the comfort you can feel in just knowing your not the only one that feels this way and your not crazy for it! I am currently a stay at home mom with two beautiful children and a wonderful partner. we share a car and he works 16 hour days. I have no neighbors. I’m house bound!! I have friends but there all to busy telling me there troubles (and that’s pretty much the only time I here from them) to even notice mine. I feel so invisible and alone!! I know I am very blessed to have such a beautiful family, but that’s why I feel like I can’t tell anyone they would say stop complaining, then judging and comparing and analyzing me! Urgg!! Everyone expects me to be so strong all the time and smile and be happy!! Truth is I’m silently screaming inside! Thanks for listening! I feel better:) Thank you all for all of your comments They have really touched me❤️

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