When you stop chasing the wrong things you give
the right things a chance to catch you.
As Maria Robinson once said, “Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.” Nothing could be closer to the truth. But before you can begin this process of transformation you have to stop doing the things that have been holding you back.
Here are some ideas to get you started:
- Stop spending time with the wrong people. – Life is too short to spend time with people who suck the happiness out of you. If someone wants you in their life, they’ll make room for you. You shouldn’t have to fight for a spot. Never, ever insist yourself to someone who continuously overlooks your worth. And remember, it’s not the people that stand by your side when you’re at your best, but the ones who stand beside you when you’re at your worst that are your true friends.
- Stop running from your problems. – Face them head on. No, it won’t be easy. There is no person in the world capable of flawlessly handling every punch thrown at them. We aren’t supposed to be able to instantly solve problems. That’s not how we’re made. In fact, we’re made to get upset, sad, hurt, stumble and fall. Because that’s the whole purpose of living – to face problems, learn, adapt, and solve them over the course of time. This is what ultimately molds us into the person we become.
- Stop lying to yourself. – You can lie to anyone else in the world, but you can’t lie to yourself. Our lives improve only when we take chances, and the first and most difficult chance we can take is to be honest with ourselves. (Read The Road Less Traveled.)
- Stop putting your own needs on the back burner. – The most painful thing is losing yourself in the process of loving someone too much, and forgetting that you are special too. Yes, help others; but help yourself too. If there was ever a moment to follow your passion and do something that matters to you, that moment is now.
- Stop trying to be someone you’re not. – One of the greatest challenges in life is being yourself in a world that’s trying to make you like everyone else. Someone will always be prettier, someone will always be smarter, someone will always be younger, but they will never be you. Don’t change so people will like you. Be yourself and the right people will love the real you.
- Stop trying to hold onto the past. – You can’t start the next chapter of your life if you keep re-reading your last one.
- Stop being scared to make a mistake. – Doing something and getting it wrong is at least ten times more productive than doing nothing. Every success has a trail of failures behind it, and every failure is leading towards success. You end up regretting the things you did NOT do far more than the things you did.
- Stop berating yourself for old mistakes. – We may love the wrong person and cry about the wrong things, but no matter how things go wrong, one thing is for sure, mistakes help us find the person and things that are right for us. We all make mistakes, have struggles, and even regret things in our past. But you are not your mistakes, you are not your struggles, and you are here NOW with the power to shape your day and your future. Every single thing that has ever happened in your life is preparing you for a moment that is yet to come.
- Stop trying to buy happiness. – Many of the things we desire are expensive. But the truth is, the things that really satisfy us are totally free – love, laughter and working on our passions.
- Stop exclusively looking to others for happiness. – If you’re not happy with who you are on the inside, you won’t be happy in a long-term relationship with anyone else either. You have to create stability in your own life first before you can share it with someone else. (Read Stumbling on Happiness.)
- Stop being idle. – Don’t think too much or you’ll create a problem that wasn’t even there in the first place. Evaluate situations and take decisive action. You cannot change what you refuse to confront. Making progress involves risk. Period! You can’t make it to second base with your foot on first.
- Stop thinking you’re not ready. – Nobody ever feels 100% ready when an opportunity arises. Because most great opportunities in life force us to grow beyond our comfort zones, which means we won’t feel totally comfortable at first.
- Stop getting involved in relationships for the wrong reasons. – Relationships must be chosen wisely. It’s better to be alone than to be in bad company. There’s no need to rush. If something is meant to be, it will happen – in the right time, with the right person, and for the best reason. Fall in love when you’re ready, not when you’re lonely. (Angel and I discuss this in detail in the “Relationships” chapter of 1,000 Little Things Happy, Successful People Do Differently.)
- Stop rejecting new relationships just because old ones didn’t work. – In life you’ll realize that there is a purpose for everyone you meet. Some will test you, some will use you and some will teach you. But most importantly, some will bring out the best in you.
- Stop trying to compete against everyone else. – Don’t worry about what others are doing better than you. Concentrate on beating your own records every day. Success is a battle between YOU and YOURSELF only.
- Stop being jealous of others. – Jealousy is the art of counting someone else’s blessings instead of your own. Ask yourself this: “What’s something I have that everyone wants?”
- Stop complaining and feeling sorry for yourself. – Life’s curveballs are thrown for a reason – to shift your path in a direction that is meant for you. You may not see or understand everything the moment it happens, and it may be tough. But reflect back on those negative curveballs thrown at you in the past. You’ll often see that eventually they led you to a better place, person, state of mind, or situation. So smile! Let everyone know that today you are a lot stronger than you were yesterday, and you will be.
- Stop holding grudges. – Don’t live your life with hate in your heart. You will end up hurting yourself more than the people you hate. Forgiveness is not saying, “What you did to me is okay.” It is saying, “I’m not going to let what you did to me ruin my happiness forever.” Forgiveness is the answer… let go, find peace, liberate yourself! And remember, forgiveness is not just for other people, it’s for you too. If you must, forgive yourself, move on and try to do better next time.
- Stop letting others bring you down to their level. – Refuse to lower your standards to accommodate those who refuse to raise theirs.
- Stop wasting time explaining yourself to others. – Your friends don’t need it and your enemies won’t believe it anyway. Just do what you know in your heart is right.
- Stop doing the same things over and over without taking a break. – The time to take a deep breath is when you don’t have time for it. If you keep doing what you’re doing, you’ll keep getting what you’re getting. Sometimes you need to distance yourself to see things clearly.
- Stop overlooking the beauty of small moments. – Enjoy the little things, because one day you may look back and discover they were the big things. The best portion of your life will be the small, nameless moments you spend smiling with someone who matters to you.
- Stop trying to make things perfect. – The real world doesn’t reward perfectionists, it rewards people who get things done. (Read Getting Things Done.)
- Stop following the path of least resistance. – Life is not easy, especially when you plan on achieving something worthwhile. Don’t take the easy way out. Do something extraordinary.
- Stop acting like everything is fine if it isn’t. – It’s okay to fall apart for a little while. You don’t always have to pretend to be strong, and there is no need to constantly prove that everything is going well. You shouldn’t be concerned with what other people are thinking either – cry if you need to – it’s healthy to shed your tears. The sooner you do, the sooner you will be able to smile again.
- Stop blaming others for your troubles. – The extent to which you can achieve your dreams depends on the extent to which you take responsibility for your life. When you blame others for what you’re going through, you deny responsibility – you give others power over that part of your life.
- Stop trying to be everything to everyone. – Doing so is impossible, and trying will only burn you out. But making one person smile CAN change the world. Maybe not the whole world, but their world. So narrow your focus.
- Stop worrying so much. – Worry will not strip tomorrow of its burdens, it will strip today of its joy. One way to check if something is worth mulling over is to ask yourself this question: “Will this matter in one year’s time? Three years? Five years?” If not, then it’s not worth worrying about.
- Stop focusing on what you don’t want to happen. – Focus on what you do want to happen. Positive thinking is at the forefront of every great success story. If you awake every morning with the thought that something wonderful will happen in your life today, and you pay close attention, you’ll often find that you’re right.
- Stop being ungrateful. – No matter how good or bad you have it, wake up each day thankful for your life. Someone somewhere else is desperately fighting for theirs. Instead of thinking about what you’re missing, try thinking about what you have that everyone else is missing.
Update: Read our follow-up to this post: 30 Things to Start Doing for Yourself
Photo by: Rob Brucker
Aaron Mohammed says
I am so inspired. Thank you so much for your motivational words. I will definately try my best to incorporate all of this in my life.
Shabbir says
Splendid thoughts and even better composed. Really helped me get a lot of direction in life.
Keep up the good work!
mamoyo says
Food for thought indeed. Thanks for writing this. It’s an eye opener for me.
Heather says
100% on point. I needed this. Thank you!
Ivonne says
My sister posted this list, shared it with my group at work they absolutely loved it. Thanks
Affy-Ann says
Beautiful, inspiring post! With the constant struggles in life, these are definitely some things we need to remind ourselves of. Thank you so much!!! ?
Michelle Porter says
I’m glad I found this article and blog. A lot of the “resolutions” are great reminders and Biblically based: Don’t covet. Don’t be jealous. Don’t judge. Don’t keep bad company. Don’t worry. Count your blessings. Be thankful. It sounds like a good recipe for 2012 to me!
Kay De Castro says
Just so timely for the new year. I’ll be sharing this to some friends. Thank you!
Sean says
This list was made FOR ME. Thanks for this. Seriously.
Vikrant says
I really love this post. If are you an entrepreneur, you will benefit if you follow these excellent points.
Norman M says
This list of 30 is a great map to guide people in a happy, productive direction. Readers need to pick out the individual numbers that pertaines to them and make an honest effort to better their lives.It works wonders!! Being happy inside your own skin will bring the most joy you’ll ever know.
Prat says
Great inspirational article, a great guide for life, greatly practical and relevant to day to day life, all 30 points make you think a lot deeper
Nicole Luongo says
Your blog is terrific; I just subscribed to it! I love this article and have shared it many times. I just started a blog and would love to have you as one of my followers!
Thanks,
Nicole
Heidi says
Like one of the other followers said, I plan to print it off and reflect on it regularly. You have covered a lot of ground in this post that is for sure…but it is beautifully succinct. I just might try to find a way to adapt the word choice and share the ideas with the students in my grade 6 class. I look forward to visiting again.
John P. Matthew says
This is a great way to begin the new year. Thanks for posting. I will implement all these in my life and am sure happiness will follow.
Billy says
This was worth reading, no doubt… And there’s so much more on this site to read as well, like ’30 things to start doing for yourself,’ which is next on my list to read. Thank you!
Maria Farooqui says
Love this! It’s something I really needed to hear from someone else =) Great work!!
Missa A says
Number one hit me perfectly at the right time. Thanks a lot for the list.
When you said, “Never, ever insist yourself to someone who continuously overlooks your worth.” this was the perfect advice for me. I DO HAVE a lot to offer and if people chose to downplay that, I don’t need them in my life.
Debbie says
This speaks Volumes!!! Confirms what I’ve believed in for a while!! Thanks for sharing!!
RAJ VIJ says
Excellent read, if we all adopted this advice into our lives we would be so much more at peace.
RAJ VIJ
India
Britney says
Great insight for another year ahead. Great reminders… thanks.
Sam Page says
Great article, I love #1 and #25.
Sarah Roads says
Wow. I wish this were required reading in school. How much better would we all be if we were taught this at a young age. Thank you!
Rick Noel says
Awesome list Marc. The last one especially resonates with me. We all have something to be grateful for, especially the ones reading this as they likely have food, shelter and the basic necessities of life met. These are gifts that so many take for granted. Because of our context we, we often forget how lucky we are as we constantly measure ourselves and success based on those around us. Just when I was talking to my wife and kids about how it is bad to waste food since so many die of starvation every day, a story on the news reported that children in a war-torn country had been killed that day by a land mine they stumbled upon while searching for food in a garbage dump. Talk about great reinforcement of a point being made! Thanks for sharing.
Bex says
Loved this!
Shared this!
Printed this!
Melissa says
Thank you so much for an amazing blog. Everything you post and talk about is everything that I have been going through. It is so wonderful and inspirational to know I am not alone. Thank you so much.
Elena says
Excellent Article! 🙂
KM says
Thank you. I needed to read this.
Gwyndaf Jones says
A truly inspirational article Marc ~ congratulations
Jason says
What an incredible list and with wise advice! Thank you.
Michelle Dale says
Freakin’ awesome… and bookmarked!
Sandy Quintos says
Really inspiring… It’s a blessing that I found this page.
quiescentmind says
Great article very inspirational!
Karissa says
Thanks for this wonderful post. I really needed this as I’m going through a rough spot.
Supported G says
Love it. It’s to the point and relevant. Words to live by. It is printed and posted on my wall as a daily reminder. I’ve shared it with my clients too.
🙂
cessie says
So true!! Thanks for sharing this. I found out the hard way for several of these things but it brought me where I am now: happy 🙂
Have bookmarked your site and will come back to read more!
Michelle says
This is so brutally real!! Thank you guys! I now have to take these challenges and get my life on track. It is amazing how a little reality check can get things moving in the right direction.
ImperialLoans says
Thank you so much. I always have to remind myself to enjoy everyday and not worry about stuff so much. This just reinforces that. Thanks again for this wonderful post.
Joni says
OMG… I love this! A forum member posted the URL to this. I’ve read it several times already.
Barry Overstreet says
What a great article! There are so many pointers here that can help people out. Anybody who is struggling with self-worth can implement just a few of these and make a remarkable difference in their life in just a short period of time.
Thanks for sharing this great advice!
Nicole says
I forgot how I found this, but I wanted to read it when I was pulled away by some negativity. After crying and tearing myself apart for all the wrong reasons, and almost falling into a bottle of vodka after I recently hopped on the wagon, I sat down and read your “30 things” article. It changed my spirit and gave me strength to continue my resolution for life. Thank you, you’ll never know how much it means to me, and I still have no idea how i stumbled on this link. Guess it was meant to be or whatever, but it was a desperately needed sign.
Tanya says
One of the best things I have read online in a long time. Well written and so accurate. It is with our attitude, how our life will be. The choice is ours 🙂 Thank you so much for this! I want to be a better person 🙂
Dennis says
ABSOLUTELY LOVED IT!!!! I feel like you just have me a piece of my life back that I truly needed! There are so many important points in this article that we all tend to not think about on a daily basis; we tend to forget some of the things that we are truly blessed for. THANK YOU! 🙂
Lee says
Great Post! Thanks for sharing such a fabulous list!
Galen says
Brilliant! Thank you!
Desi Melange says
Loved this post and used it as inspiration to write on my own blog. I am going to try and let it guide me in successfully completing my resolution for this year : )
Ms. S says
Thank you for this brilliant article. It helped.
Courtney says
I love this. Thank you.
Taiwo says
This is awesome, the article was like a mirror to me. I was able to see my strengths and weaknesses, I challenged myself to be the best I can using it as a guide. Thanks a great deal.