When you stop chasing the wrong things you give
the right things a chance to catch you.
As Maria Robinson once said, “Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.” Nothing could be closer to the truth. But before you can begin this process of transformation you have to stop doing the things that have been holding you back.
Here are some ideas to get you started:
- Stop spending time with the wrong people. – Life is too short to spend time with people who suck the happiness out of you. If someone wants you in their life, they’ll make room for you. You shouldn’t have to fight for a spot. Never, ever insist yourself to someone who continuously overlooks your worth. And remember, it’s not the people that stand by your side when you’re at your best, but the ones who stand beside you when you’re at your worst that are your true friends.
- Stop running from your problems. – Face them head on. No, it won’t be easy. There is no person in the world capable of flawlessly handling every punch thrown at them. We aren’t supposed to be able to instantly solve problems. That’s not how we’re made. In fact, we’re made to get upset, sad, hurt, stumble and fall. Because that’s the whole purpose of living – to face problems, learn, adapt, and solve them over the course of time. This is what ultimately molds us into the person we become.
- Stop lying to yourself. – You can lie to anyone else in the world, but you can’t lie to yourself. Our lives improve only when we take chances, and the first and most difficult chance we can take is to be honest with ourselves. (Read The Road Less Traveled.)
- Stop putting your own needs on the back burner. – The most painful thing is losing yourself in the process of loving someone too much, and forgetting that you are special too. Yes, help others; but help yourself too. If there was ever a moment to follow your passion and do something that matters to you, that moment is now.
- Stop trying to be someone you’re not. – One of the greatest challenges in life is being yourself in a world that’s trying to make you like everyone else. Someone will always be prettier, someone will always be smarter, someone will always be younger, but they will never be you. Don’t change so people will like you. Be yourself and the right people will love the real you.
- Stop trying to hold onto the past. – You can’t start the next chapter of your life if you keep re-reading your last one.
- Stop being scared to make a mistake. – Doing something and getting it wrong is at least ten times more productive than doing nothing. Every success has a trail of failures behind it, and every failure is leading towards success. You end up regretting the things you did NOT do far more than the things you did.
- Stop berating yourself for old mistakes. – We may love the wrong person and cry about the wrong things, but no matter how things go wrong, one thing is for sure, mistakes help us find the person and things that are right for us. We all make mistakes, have struggles, and even regret things in our past. But you are not your mistakes, you are not your struggles, and you are here NOW with the power to shape your day and your future. Every single thing that has ever happened in your life is preparing you for a moment that is yet to come.
- Stop trying to buy happiness. – Many of the things we desire are expensive. But the truth is, the things that really satisfy us are totally free – love, laughter and working on our passions.
- Stop exclusively looking to others for happiness. – If you’re not happy with who you are on the inside, you won’t be happy in a long-term relationship with anyone else either. You have to create stability in your own life first before you can share it with someone else. (Read Stumbling on Happiness.)
- Stop being idle. – Don’t think too much or you’ll create a problem that wasn’t even there in the first place. Evaluate situations and take decisive action. You cannot change what you refuse to confront. Making progress involves risk. Period! You can’t make it to second base with your foot on first.
- Stop thinking you’re not ready. – Nobody ever feels 100% ready when an opportunity arises. Because most great opportunities in life force us to grow beyond our comfort zones, which means we won’t feel totally comfortable at first.
- Stop getting involved in relationships for the wrong reasons. – Relationships must be chosen wisely. It’s better to be alone than to be in bad company. There’s no need to rush. If something is meant to be, it will happen – in the right time, with the right person, and for the best reason. Fall in love when you’re ready, not when you’re lonely. (Angel and I discuss this in detail in the “Relationships” chapter of 1,000 Little Things Happy, Successful People Do Differently.)
- Stop rejecting new relationships just because old ones didn’t work. – In life you’ll realize that there is a purpose for everyone you meet. Some will test you, some will use you and some will teach you. But most importantly, some will bring out the best in you.
- Stop trying to compete against everyone else. – Don’t worry about what others are doing better than you. Concentrate on beating your own records every day. Success is a battle between YOU and YOURSELF only.
- Stop being jealous of others. – Jealousy is the art of counting someone else’s blessings instead of your own. Ask yourself this: “What’s something I have that everyone wants?”
- Stop complaining and feeling sorry for yourself. – Life’s curveballs are thrown for a reason – to shift your path in a direction that is meant for you. You may not see or understand everything the moment it happens, and it may be tough. But reflect back on those negative curveballs thrown at you in the past. You’ll often see that eventually they led you to a better place, person, state of mind, or situation. So smile! Let everyone know that today you are a lot stronger than you were yesterday, and you will be.
- Stop holding grudges. – Don’t live your life with hate in your heart. You will end up hurting yourself more than the people you hate. Forgiveness is not saying, “What you did to me is okay.” It is saying, “I’m not going to let what you did to me ruin my happiness forever.” Forgiveness is the answer… let go, find peace, liberate yourself! And remember, forgiveness is not just for other people, it’s for you too. If you must, forgive yourself, move on and try to do better next time.
- Stop letting others bring you down to their level. – Refuse to lower your standards to accommodate those who refuse to raise theirs.
- Stop wasting time explaining yourself to others. – Your friends don’t need it and your enemies won’t believe it anyway. Just do what you know in your heart is right.
- Stop doing the same things over and over without taking a break. – The time to take a deep breath is when you don’t have time for it. If you keep doing what you’re doing, you’ll keep getting what you’re getting. Sometimes you need to distance yourself to see things clearly.
- Stop overlooking the beauty of small moments. – Enjoy the little things, because one day you may look back and discover they were the big things. The best portion of your life will be the small, nameless moments you spend smiling with someone who matters to you.
- Stop trying to make things perfect. – The real world doesn’t reward perfectionists, it rewards people who get things done. (Read Getting Things Done.)
- Stop following the path of least resistance. – Life is not easy, especially when you plan on achieving something worthwhile. Don’t take the easy way out. Do something extraordinary.
- Stop acting like everything is fine if it isn’t. – It’s okay to fall apart for a little while. You don’t always have to pretend to be strong, and there is no need to constantly prove that everything is going well. You shouldn’t be concerned with what other people are thinking either – cry if you need to – it’s healthy to shed your tears. The sooner you do, the sooner you will be able to smile again.
- Stop blaming others for your troubles. – The extent to which you can achieve your dreams depends on the extent to which you take responsibility for your life. When you blame others for what you’re going through, you deny responsibility – you give others power over that part of your life.
- Stop trying to be everything to everyone. – Doing so is impossible, and trying will only burn you out. But making one person smile CAN change the world. Maybe not the whole world, but their world. So narrow your focus.
- Stop worrying so much. – Worry will not strip tomorrow of its burdens, it will strip today of its joy. One way to check if something is worth mulling over is to ask yourself this question: “Will this matter in one year’s time? Three years? Five years?” If not, then it’s not worth worrying about.
- Stop focusing on what you don’t want to happen. – Focus on what you do want to happen. Positive thinking is at the forefront of every great success story. If you awake every morning with the thought that something wonderful will happen in your life today, and you pay close attention, you’ll often find that you’re right.
- Stop being ungrateful. – No matter how good or bad you have it, wake up each day thankful for your life. Someone somewhere else is desperately fighting for theirs. Instead of thinking about what you’re missing, try thinking about what you have that everyone else is missing.
Update: Read our follow-up to this post: 30 Things to Start Doing for Yourself
Photo by: Rob Brucker
bharat says
Brilliant list! Thanks for crafting this beautiful post! It really touched my soul.
Gabby says
I was looking for thoughts I could share to my school kids and ended up in your site, so I bookmarked it so I can keep coming back and share it with my colleagues. Thanks a lot. Every article is very inspiring and helpful.
Data centre says
My first visit to your website has been a major enabler to me. Thank you for the efforts you have been putting forth on writing/producing your website. Very inspiring.
Maureen says
Truly brilliant list. Received at a time of me needing to find myself. Thank you
Amaal Aladwani says
Another good one: Stop focusing on your weakness and work hard on your strengths.
Thanks for these great tips!
Vic says
All these points are helpful and inspiring. Thanks for sharing these tips.
Di says
What a wonderful list… it will be hard , but I’ll try to follow it. Oh, and it’s not completely true that if you don’t try you can’t fail. The truth is, if you don’t try you have already resigned yourself to failure. Thanks for the great read. And have a wonderful day “trying.”
Ayesha says
Although most of us know about these things, we still need to be reminded from time to time. Loved every word of this article. Thank you.
Mary Jane says
I have really enjoyed reading this article and look forward to reading more of your work in the future. Keep up the great work!
Christina says
This is one of those rare things I read that actually made a big impact on my life. I had spent far too many years in a perpetual cycle of self-pity and damaging relationships, so after reading this I realize now that the only person preventing me from making any changes in my life is myself.
Thank you so much for creating this simple yet awakening list – It’s something everyone needs to read.
Danette True says
Came across this article while researching happiness. “The Road Less Traveled” was the book that served as the key to unlocking my happiness. I also recommend “The 8th Habit: From Effectiveness to Greatness” by Stephen Covey. Already shared your article with someone who needed this information today. Great connecting with you — and now following you on Twitter!
Lana says
I agree with all the other comments. This is fabulous – and timely. Thanks for sharing your insights!
Murad says
Awesome, straightforward advice! Thanks 🙂
Trishia Young (@trish_jager) says
This is so inspirational. I’ve been looking at life differently all this time. I realized that there’s room for change. Thank you very much, Marc. Your simple advice here is life changing. 🙂
Tammy says
Thank you ?
Ruba says
I really needed to hear this today. Thank you 🙂 You just helped change someone’s life.
andrew says
This article really touched on some issues I’m going through this year. I’m glad I read it and hope that everyone else who needs it reads it. Thank you for helping me see more clearly.
De says
Thumbs up! Thank you very much… This is really amazing, useful and real! I will share this useful advice with my friends and beloved ones.
simpler says
Simple and amazing advice. Thank you.
Anika says
This is one of the best articles I’ve read recently. It is written so well and makes perfect sense too…
MIRANDA says
I love this article and this whole website. It is so inspiring. Thank you!
@Tshwaneh on Twitter says
Wow *Tears* – Such a wonderful read.
Clay Franklin says
Wow! Thank you so much for succinctly identifying top things to make your life better. Easy to read and understand and possibly even implement.
nikoya says
Hefty, heavy and perfect list. The reminder to be true oneself and face problems are soooo true. it’s very easy to sign up for someone else’s life or belief system, and allow them to automate your life (like working for a company you don’t believe in, taking on someone else’s dreams).
And it’s also easy to run from our problems. Thank you for putting all this wisdom in one easy to read article.
Roland says
This is one of the most concise and uplifting articles I have ever read. Pure and simple.
Me says
Going through a bit of a hard time right now and reading this really helped. Thank you.
Carol Walczak says
I really enjoyed this reading your post here, and it helped me to move myself out of a down moment.
Christian Dozier says
Wow, thanks for the post. I relate to way too many of these things and it’s time to do something about it.
Angel Henrics says
I see myself every time I re-read every point on this article. I would like to thank you for this post. I relate to many things you discuss.
Dipika says
Thank You!!! 🙂
Stormie Wheless says
This was much needed, and very well spoken!
I’ve been going through so much in life and this seemed to help me realize what was wrong. I plan to apply these 30 points to my life as soon as possible. Your writing has been a great inspiration.
Thank you so much
Svetlana says
Thank you for this wonderful article! It actually reveals many of the simple secrets of life. I will recommend it to my friends.
Lisa says
Oh my gosh! I’m closing my blinds right now. I swear you are looking into my life. 🙂 LOL! Thanks for the article. It was so well written and so necessary.
tyra says
Thank you so much for this article. It helped a lot.
Fizza says
I am touched by everything you said here. I really needed to read this for my currently crumbling life. I shall spread this article to my friends, and try picking up the pieces of my life, and learn how to make a new one out of it. Thanks!
Mike says
Simple and poignant. Thank you!
Chelsea says
This website really helped me. I have been going through a really tough time and looking at this advice made me think, a lot. I shouldn’t spend time worrying about what others think of me, how they look at me, or what they say about me. I am me and God put me on this earth for a reason. I may not have found that reason yet, but when i do i know that it will be the greatest moment of my life. I used to always worry about the past and hold on to things that i should have let go. Hopefully in the future, that will go away…thanks to this website.
D says
4am in the morning staring at the ceiling trying to quiet the noise of my own internal dialogue and mental self sabotage. I stumbled on this article and I instantly feel a great sense of calm and affirmation that I will overcome what I have been forced to deal with. Going through the motions of a bad breakup and finding meaning within myself. Coming to the realization that my sense of happiness, well being, and existence needs to be defined by me and not validated by having another person co-exist with me. You don’t understand how much I needed to read this. I say I stumbled on this article, but this article found me. I’m forever grateful.
Jaydeep says
Thanks for this awesome article! 🙂
jeremy lin blog says
Inspiring words! We often do not realize how many good things are going on in our lives. This post was a reminder for me to not stress out about the small things and make the most of our time here.
Barry says
Excellent article! I have resetting various goals in my life, as well as looking back on a difficult few years. Unfortunately, I have also been beating myself up and not letting go of things I should. I am not sure how I came to view this website, but it happened and I am thankful for it. This is just what I needed to help me head into the next chapter in my life. Thank you for sharing.
Golf Simulator india says
Thank you for this wonderful article! It actually reveals many of the simple secrets of life. I will recommend it to my friends.
Ashok Patidar says
This article is well-written and filled with positive wisdom that really matters for achieving success and happiness in life. I accidentally came across this article, but fell in love with it. I have bookmarked this site. Thanks!
Linda Yarbrough says
Such practical tips; such terrific writing. I have shared this everywhere and become a subscriber for more! I know that it will be a blessing to all my followers – 30 Things to Stop Doing to Yourself. Love it!
Ntokozo says
This explains exactly what I am going through right now. Thanks a million.
Chad Darwin says
Great stuff… thanks for sharing. Nice reminders many of us forget all too well.
SAMKIT SHAH says
Thank you so much for writing and sharing this. Very inspiring! I really needed to read it today.
Annachestnut says
I am 57 and will start re-making myself with this wise advice. Thanks so much!
Kai says
With all that I am going through, this is exactly what I needed to hear to jumpstart a better me!!!
Eduardo Mercado says
Great read! I really liked and agree with everything you said here.