Focus on what you don’t have and you will never have enough. Be thankful for what you do have and you will end up having even more.
It’s a vague feeling you can’t quite put your finger on. From the outside, people might think you have an awesome life, but they can’t see what’s going on in your head. Emptiness fills your thoughts and emotions all too often, nagging at you throughout the day. You set goals but they never satisfy your ego. The search can seem almost endless at times.
And the question continues to circulate throughout your mind: “How do I find happiness?”
You don’t have to live like this. Fortunately, there is a better way to view the world that will lead to what you seek. The first step along the way is to stop searching. You will never find happiness by continuously looking for it. When you focus on the lack of something in your life, what you seek will always elude you.
Rather than dwelling on what is missing, begin to look at what you have. This isn’t just about material items. It can be people, experiences, pets, or anything else you have present in your life. When you focus on the abundance you already have, the negative feelings that come from lacking something else gradually fade from your conscious.
Having trouble thinking of some things to feel grateful for? Here’s a short list of things you have to smile about – some obvious signs you’re doing just fine in life:
- You have food available to eat. – When you eat something today, even if it’s just a small snack, give thanks. Savor it and appreciate the fact that you can grab something to eat anytime you’re hungry. Stop and think about the farmers and manufacturers who provided it, and even the people who distributed the food to your location. A lot of work goes into making your food available to you. Be grateful for it.
- There is a nearby faucet with clean water. – In many parts of the world clean water is not readily available. Some people walk miles just to get water that is dirty and contaminated. Others struggle through tough terrain and incredible danger to get access to the very same quality of water you have on-demand access to. So next time you turn on your faucet, smile.
- You take a warm shower at least once a day. – Speaking of water, this one is so easy to take for granted, especially if you shower every morning just to freshen yourself up. So many people don’t have access to clean water, let alone clean warm water that can instantly wash over their skin and help them greet the morning. You do, however, and this is a true privilege.
- You have your own comfortable bed. – When you get home after a long day and plop down on your bed to rest, it’s easy to forget how miserable you would be without it. It’s easy to forget about the thousands of people in this world that don’t have this luxury. So next time you lay down on your bed, take a second and feel how soft and comfy it is and say, “Thank you.” As you close your eyes, let appreciation pour from your heart.
- There’s a roof over your head and walls around you. – While you’re in your bed at night drifting off to sleep, think about the roof that’s keeping you dry and safe. It’s kind of a big deal. Bugs and wild animals could have their way with you without your home’s roof and walls. You would also be at the mercy of all the elements: rain, cold, snow, wind, heat, sun, etc.
- You can control the temperature of your environment. – This one gets forgotten easily, until it’s the middle of July and the air conditioning stops working, or the middle of winter and the heat doesn’t come on. While things are in working order, be grateful each time you adjust the thermostat in your home or car and it begins to change the temperature of your environment.
- You don’t have to walk everywhere. – Whether you have a car, a bike, or just enough money to get where you need to go using public transportation, it sure is nice to have the option not to walk. Appreciate the fact that you have some way to get around, even if it isn’t the classiest conveyance available.
- You’re wearing clean clothes. – You may not have the nicest, the newest, or the trendiest clothes. You may even have a stain or two on your favorite pair of jeans, but they are clean and they keep you warm and comfortable. Every day when you open your dresser drawer, look at all the options you have and smile. Grab a piece of clothing and take a big whiff of that clean, fresh laundry scent. Life is good.
- Morning coffee and tea is an option. – (I’m mentioning this because it’s one of my personal favorites.) Instead of just gulping down your daily cup of joe or tea, try sipping on it slowly, savoring every little bit. Enjoy the steamy goodness, the earthy tones, and the smooth balance of flavors. Savor the goodness and let it remind you of how fortunate you are.
- There are people in this world who love you. – Life is happiest when it’s shared. Cherish your close friends and family members. You’re lucky to have them. Even in life’s hardest times, you can sustain yourself with the love they give to you. They are significant; never forget how significant.
- There is oxygen available to breathe. – This is perhaps the most universal luxury we all take for granted. Your life wouldn’t last very long without it. Take a deep, slow breath and feel your lungs expand. Someone once said oxygen is something we don’t think about until we don’t have it. So go ahead, take a moment and think about it now.
Recognizing these simple luxuries you already have in your life on a daily basis can take you from a mindset of wishing you had more, to a mindset of joyful appreciation. Give it a try.
Your turn…
What would you add to the list? What’s something you’re grateful for that you sometimes take for granted? Please leave a comment below and let the community know.
Author Bio: Ernest Dempsey is a counselor and fiction author from Chattanooga, Tennessee. Check out his books and his powerful blog posts at ernestdempsey.net or follow him on Twitter @ErnDempsey.
Photo by: Tanzil Tafheem
Penny says
I’m grateful for the reminders above, and this past week my home country (Philippines) suffered from a terrible typhoon, so I am grateful my family is safe from injuries. Life in itself is enough to be grateful for.
Dev says
As always, thanks for some great perspective. We all are indeed fortunate people. I am grateful for a life filled with things I love to do and for the resources to do them.
Craig H. says
Great reminder of the need to appreciate what we have.
I am grateful for this moment and everything in it.
Nina says
As a spoiled only child, I always took everything for granted, but then I spent my summer in Ghana, and suddenly all I was looking for was a warm shower (we had one cold bucket per day) and some food without ants, etc. So when I arrived home, I just started crying, cause everything was so clean. Now, more then two months later, I still enjoy my long hot shower every morning.
So I can only agree with all your points, and in two years time, when my memory of this summer isn’t is fading, I hope to remind myself by reading your blog and filling my mind with appreciation again. Also, I especially loved the tea point, cause, if people ask me what I need to have a good day, it’s nothing more then a great cup of tea, and a shower would be nice, too.
Lizi says
Curled up under my electric blanket as I partake in my nightly gratitude inventory, I am humbled by the above reminders; thank you! I am grateful for this beautiful life and for being graced with the kindest husband imaginable, both of which I briefly took for granted but never will again.
Lori A. says
A functioning sewage system. Super important for health and well being and quality of life, and so taken for granted.
Vincent says
Love these optimistic views. We have a lot to be thankful for but it can be hard to remember how lucky we are. All of us here have the ability to read words written by someone else. We enter their brains and collect their thoughts! How cool is that?
keep faith says
“check” for all the things listed above.
– I am grateful to have a wonderful family.
– I have faced some hard phases in life. but I am grateful to all the angels who helped me lessen the burden I had to carry.
– I am grateful for the times I got “plain lucky” in some situations.
– I am grateful to have people in my life who, though are not my family, still stand by my side and offer me support and strength.
– I am grateful that I am blessed with a mind ready to absorb knowledge and the ability to memorize just about anything.
– I am grateful that there are situations in life where I have to face difficulties alone, I have it in me to face these challenges head on.
Patrik Edblad says
A great way to get started with gratitude practice is to write down three things that you’re grateful for before you to sleep each night. Doing this exercise has been proven to actually rewire your brain to focus on the positive rather than the negative.
I’m grateful that I get to read awesome articles like these every day for free (!!) 🙂
Zalika says
I am grateful for this article! Whenever I want to manifest something in life, I tend to focus more of the lack of what I want instead of appreciating what I already have. Just the reminder I needed. Thank you 🙂
Amanda C says
Sometimes we all need reminders! This reminded me that things could be worse – appreciate everyday, and be thankful for it.
Elham says
I am grateful for the books I have. They are replete with so many wonders that can keep me reading for hours without even noticing time passing. I love my books.
Mike R3 says
This was perfect and timely. I had to leave town for a job interview, my son sees his doc today for his initial discussions about oncology options. I needed…and, I shared. “Angel” is more than just a name. Thank you.
God Girl Goth says
Memories and the capacity to learn, live and make new memories.
MC says
I am thankful for Marc and Angel, and the ability to receive these amazing reminders each week.
Linda says
I am grateful for health and the ability to create, whether by cooking, crafting, gardening… We have what we need at our fingertips, and the gift of seeing what can be created from materials at hand.
Irene says
I think we take nature’s little gifts for granted…and get caught up in a mindless chase…great reminder!!
Cynthia says
The fact that we are alive and breathing gives us always a chance to be grateful for everything & everyone around us. When your heart is filled with gratefulness, you become humble & nonjudgmental. You flow with life and live in rhythm of giving & receiving.
honorata says
I’m very thankful because despite so many trials, God is always there beside me to help me and guide me. And thank you so much for making and maintaining this website. It has helped me a lot with thinking more positively about what matters most in life. It boost my confidence when I’m really feeling down and troubled.
Ani says
Well now, that was easy… 🙂
Nancy says
I’m always grateful that I live in a country where a woman can live safely alone, own her own home and have a life of her own. So many women in the world don’t have this luxury, and I am thankful every day.
Steve Davis says
What a pleasure it is to wake up in the morning feeling good, having my health. Not being nauseous or having to go to radiation and chemo. I am most grateful. I can enjoy that cup of coffee. Thank God.
Stephen says
Great timing, hits home on a day like today. Thanks for the great post.
Kristen says
I am grateful for my body. It is not a model’s body by any means and it is overweight. Even so, my feet carry me where I want to go, my legs allow me to run, my arms hug my children and husband every chance they get and hopefully my smile helps brighten others’ days.
Maya says
I’m thankful for friends I can talk with, my grandmother & her stories and easy access to internet 🙂
Sharon J. says
I want to thank both of you. The things you share on your site every week has literally picked me up out of a dark, deep hole I was falling deeper and deeper into. You have certainly shown me the positive light over the last year.
kathyh says
If everyone in this world read this, the world would be a better place. It’s the little things! And I too am thankful for this website and insights! Free Therapy!
elaine says
Yes. This is so true! i have been watching the news lately and seeing the damage the typhoon Yolanda has done to our brothers and sisters from the Philippines is really heartbreaking. When I read the article, i imagined how these people struggle for food, water and shelter. Things we all take for granted.
carollee Adams says
I am Thankful for my eyes. To be able to see is a Blessing I think.
socratezonline says
I’m grateful for having all the resources in my life that I need to live my passion. And I’m grateful for having people in my life who support me with that.
Melissa says
I am thankful for being 52 and still having both my parents and they are happy and healthy and have good healthcare. Almost lost my Dad last year to a sudden illness and that put everything into perspective real fast. I took them both for granted that they would be there everyday. WAKE UP CALL…
Tope says
Just this morning I was thinking of those who had everything at their disposal and I thought to myself that even if I don’t have all the money I want, I have my family and I just believe in God that everything will be just fine. I’m thankful for now & tomorrow.
Teri says
I am most grateful for being able to wake-up each day to my two beautiful and healthy children.
Drew says
I am thankful for my health and being able to be active with my children.
Michelle Russell says
I love this refreshingly simple post, Ernest–thank you!
The one item I’d add, which somehow never gets old for me, is the magic of being able to flip a tiny switch at any time of the day or night and have just the right amount of light–whether it’s a wash of brilliance to make my work surface clearly visible or the warm, subdued glow of my bedside lamp as I unwind with a good book before nodding off for the night. 🙂
James Waters says
I recently had to start over after a divorce. I moved into a warehouse with an apartment so I could start a carpentry business and have a place to sleep at night. A friend donated a couch for me to sleep on. Slowly, I bought used appliances so I could cook and refrigerate my few groceries. Times were sparse, but I was happy with what I had.
A year has passed. Now it’s much more comfortable than when I started. I’m still grateful! It’s been a long and lonely road, but I’m making it!
Julie says
Reading this elicited a myriad of emotions for me. 1. made me realize just how selfish I have become; 2. that I do not take nearly enough time to stop and truly revel in the beauty of this life I have been given–yes, it was given to me by my Mother and she deserves every ounce of gratitude for each and every breath I take; 3. I have taken far too much for granted; and 4. this post makes me want to be a better ‘me’ and I fully intend upon striving for that from this second onward.
Thank you for this and for inspiring me to be a better, more authentic Me.
Beverly says
I’m thankful for free public education, libraries and Internet so I can always learn. I’m thankful for public health so that even if I don’t have health insurance, if I can make it to a hospital, someone will take care of me.
CW says
Faith. Sometimes when I lose faith, and consequently hope, I realize how dark my experience in this life can be. So I’m grateful for the ability to have faith and hope.
This blog has tremendously helped me in a renewing of mind–a work in progress–and I’m so thankful for the light you shine! And the commenters don’t realize how much they help too! I’m grateful for a community.
Also, warm socks just out of the dryer on a cold day. Wow.
Kelly says
A happy, healthy child. After losing one you appreciate every moment. So many people can’t have kids, have lost children…so the next time your child has a tantrum, be grateful he is there to be able to do it.
SJ Scott says
Simple, yet powerful reminders of all the things that we take for granted that most of us have in abundance.
It is a great reminder that even when we are down and depressed there are many people in the world far less fortunate than we are.
The little pleasures and conveniences really should help to ease our day not make us jealous of those who have more.
-Steve
Ernest Dempsey says
I just love all these comments. What an amazing, and gratitude-filled community exists here. You all are awesome people.
Right now, I am appreciating good coffee, and the little space heater in my office since it’s 35 degrees outside. 🙂
And thank you for sharing that, Kelly.
Ernest Dempsey says
Awesome story, James. Thank you for sharing that. Such a powerful tribute to pushing through.
Ron says
I am so thankful for all of the smooth jazz artists and the incredible new sonic dimensions they have achieved, sublime, legendary and obscure, musical endeavors in high art form. Unfurled for my generation. Resonate with them and raise your ownAlso hi-def audio technology!!
Try: Fourplay: Once upon a Love
Try: Ken Navarro: Love coloured soul
Try: Peter White: Beuno Funk
“and if thine own eye be dark, how great that darkness is”
Damn its dark in here….don’t multiply it.
Ernest Dempsey says
Julie, don’t beat yourself up.
You are on the right path.
🙂
Cynthea says
I am thankful for people like you, who find a way, small or large, to help others. Who reach out and try to make a difference. There is probably no way to know how many lives you touch, but whether it’s 1 or 1 million, it counts. I am thankful of your kind hearts that reached out and made a difference in my life today. I truly needed it.
Lorna says
I’m grateful for another day of sobriety… and all of the blessings that come with it.
LC says
I’m not grateful for any of these, because if any of these would be missing in my life, I would have a purpose – to attain it. You may feel sorry for the ones that are lacking a roof on their head, or good sanitation, or whatever, but I think it’s better to have more real problems in life and with that less room for imaginary ones. It gives you an instant purpose and a purposeful life is the key to a long-term happiness.
Cynthea says
I am thankful for people like you, who are kind and gentle enough to focus their lives on making a difference. There is no way to measure how many lives you touch. But whether it’s 1 or 1 million, you are helping people. And isn’t that’s what life is all about? I can tell you that you most certainly have touched 1 life today. Mine. I desperately needed your words today. Thank you for your kindness.
Doeray says
-Eyes that see
-Ears that hear
-Lips that speak
-Hands that can reach, clasp, hold
-Feet that can walk under their own ability
-The ability to smell a flower, fresh baked bread
-Laughter and tears