“The best way out is always through.”
— Robert Frost
“Today, I’m sitting in my hospital bed waiting to have both my breasts removed. But in a strange way I feel like the lucky one. Up until now I have had no health problems. I’m a 69-year-old woman in the last room at the end of the hall before the pediatric division of the hospital begins. Over the past few hours I have watched dozens of cancer patients being wheeled by in wheelchairs and rolling beds. None of these patients could be a day older than 17.”
That’s an entry from my grandmother’s journal, dated 9/16/1977. I photocopied it and pinned it to my bulletin board about a decade ago. It’s still there today, and it continues to remind me that there is always, always, always something to be thankful for. And that no matter how good or bad I have it, I must wake up each day thankful for my life, because someone somewhere else is desperately fighting for theirs.
Truth be told, happiness is not the absence of problems, but the ability to deal with them. Imagine all the wondrous things your mind might embrace if it weren’t wrapped so tightly around your struggles. Always look at what you have, instead of what you have lost. Because it’s not what the world takes away from you that counts; it’s what you do with what you have left.
Here are a few reminders to help motivate you when you need it most:
1. Pain is part of growing.
Sometimes life closes doors because it’s time to move forward. And that’s a good thing because we often won’t move unless circumstances force us to. When times are tough, remind yourself that no pain comes without a purpose. Move on from what hurt you, but never forget what it taught you. Just because you’re struggling doesn’t mean you’re failing. Every great success requires some type of worthy struggle to get there. Good things take time. Stay patient and stay positive. Everything is going to come together; maybe not immediately, but eventually.
Remember that there are two kinds of pain: pain that hurts and pain that changes you. When you roll with life, instead of resisting it, both kinds help you grow.
2. Everything in life is temporary.
Every time it rains, it stops raining. Every time you get hurt, you heal. After darkness there is always light – you are reminded of this every morning, but still you often forget, and instead choose to believe that the night will last forever. It won’t. Nothing lasts forever.
So if things are good right now, enjoy it. It won’t last forever. If things are bad, don’t worry because it won’t last forever either. Just because life isn’t easy at the moment, doesn’t mean you can’t laugh. Just because something is bothering you, doesn’t mean you can’t smile. Every moment gives you a new beginning and a new ending. You get a second chance, every second. You just have to take it and make the best of it. (Read The Last Lecture.)
3. Worrying and complaining changes nothing.
Those who complain the most, accomplish the least. It’s always better to attempt to do something great and fail than to attempt to do nothing and succeed. It’s not over if you’ve lost; it’s over when you do nothing but complain about it. If you believe in something, keep trying. Don’t let the shadows of the past darken the doorstep of your future. Spending today complaining about yesterday won’t make tomorrow any brighter. Take action instead. Let what you’ve learned improve how you live. Make a change and never look back.
And regardless of what happens in the long run, remember that true happiness begins to arrive only when you stop complaining about your problems and you start being grateful for all the problems you don’t have.
4. Your scars are symbols of your strength.
Don’t ever be ashamed of the scars life has left you with. A scar means the hurt is over and the wound is closed. It means you conquered the pain, learned a lesson, grew stronger, and moved forward. A scar is the tattoo of a triumph to be proud of. Don’t allow your scars to hold you hostage. Don’t allow them to make you live your life in fear. You can’t make the scars in your life disappear, but you can change the way you see them. You can start seeing your scars as a sign of strength and not pain.
Rumi once said, “The wound is the place where the Light enters you.” Nothing could be closer to the truth. Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most powerful characters in this great world are seared with scars. See your scars as a sign of “YES! I MADE IT! I survived and I have my scars to prove it! And now I have a chance to grow even stronger.”
5. Every little struggle is a step forward.
In life, patience is not about waiting; it’s the ability to keep a good attitude while working hard on your dreams, knowing that the work is worth it. So if you’re going to try, put in the time and go all the way. Otherwise, there’s no point in starting. This could mean losing stability and comfort for a while, and maybe even your mind on occasion. It could mean not eating what, or sleeping where, you’re used to, for weeks on end. It could mean stretching your comfort zone so thin it gives you a nonstop case of the chills. It could mean sacrificing relationships and all that’s familiar. It could mean accepting ridicule from your peers. It could mean lots of time alone in solitude. Solitude, though, is the gift that makes great things possible. It gives you the space you need. Everything else is a test of your determination, of how much you really want it.
And if you want it, you’ll do it, despite failure and rejection and the odds. And every step will feel better than anything else you can imagine. You will realize that the struggle is not found on the path, it is the path. And it’s worth it. So if you’re going to try, go all the way. There’s no better feeling in the world… there’s no better feeling than knowing what it means to be ALIVE. (Angel and I discuss this in more detail in the “Goals and Success” chapter of 1,000 Little Things Happy, Successful People Do Differently.)
6. Other people’s negativity is not your problem.
Be positive when negativity surrounds you. Smile when others try to bring you down. It’s an easy way to maintain your enthusiasm and focus. When other people treat you poorly, keep being you. Don’t ever let someone else’s bitterness change the person you are. You can’t take things too personally, even if it seems personal. Rarely do people do things because of you. They do things because of them.
Above all, don’t ever change just to impress someone who says you’re not good enough. Change because it makes you a better person and leads you to a brighter future. People are going to talk regardless of what you do or how well you do it. So worry about yourself before you worry about what others think. If you believe strongly in something, don’t be afraid to fight for it. Great strength comes from overcoming what others think is impossible.
All jokes aside, your life only comes around once. This is IT. So do what makes you happy and be with whoever makes you smile, often.
7. What’s meant to be will eventually, BE.
True strength comes when you have so much to cry and complain about, but you prefer to smile and appreciate your life instead. There are blessings hidden in every struggle you face, but you have to be willing to open your heart and mind to see them. You can’t force things to happen. You can only drive yourself crazy trying. At some point you have to let go and let what’s meant to be, BE.
In the end, loving your life is about trusting your intuition, taking chances, losing and finding happiness, cherishing the memories, and learning through experience. It’s a long-term journey. You have to stop worrying, wondering, and doubting every step of the way. Laugh at the confusion, live consciously in the moment, and enjoy your life as it unfolds. You might not end up exactly where you intended to go, but you will eventually arrive precisely where you need to be. (Read A New Earth.)
8. The best thing you can do is to keep going.
Don’t be afraid to get back up – to try again, to love again, to live again, and to dream again. Don’t let a hard lesson harden your heart. Life’s best lessons are often learned at the worst times and from the worst mistakes. There will be times when it seems like everything that could possibly go wrong is going wrong. And you might feel like you will be stuck in this rut forever, but you won’t. When you feel like quitting, remember that sometimes things have to go very wrong before they can be right. Sometimes you have to go through the worst, to arrive at your best.
Yes, life is tough, but you are tougher. Find the strength to laugh every day. Find the courage to feel different, yet beautiful. Find it in your heart to make others smile too. Don’t stress over things you can’t change. Live simply. Love generously. Speak truthfully. Work diligently. And even if you fall short, keep going. Keep growing.
Awake every morning and do your best to follow this daily TO-DO list:
- Think positively.
- Eat healthy.
- Exercise today.
- Worry less.
- Work hard.
- Laugh often.
- Sleep well.
Repeat…
The floor is yours…
What helps you stay motivated when you’re struggling? What’s something positive you try to keep in mind when everything seems to be going wrong? Leave a comment below and share your thoughts.
Photo by: Antonio Buccella
Amme says
I’m so grateful for the motivation that you provide. Thanks for sharing wonder full information.
Liz says
Hi Marc and Angel,
Always thankful especially after chancing upon this blog 3 to 4 years ago. Thank you, because the posts have helped me get through many tough times.
This post especially came at such an opportune moment; I can’t say how thankful I am for this. Gonna make some positive changes. Starting now.
Eric Chalakani says
This was really lovely reading! Reached my heart! But I remind myself that I am unique as is all who read this and these. What makes sense and pertains to the goose, is not necessarily what describes, affects or has anything to do with the Gander (apparent evidence not withstanding)
Betsy says
I have written other comments here. This whole list is just so true. I have changed a few things in my life, working on a few others, and still just taking baby steps. It does take time, but anything really worth it, does.
I feel so privilaged to be a part of this community, feel welcomed and not alone with my thoughts. Thank you Marc, and all of you.
I thank God every day to be here, whether a good day or a bad day. It’s just a day, another to follow, hopefully.
Henry Candoit says
Hi Marc and Angel. Thanks for the wonderful “8 things to remember” it was so encouraging that I shared it with my friends…I think it’s the message of the decade cos it addresses practically everything one encounters, feel and think. I really appreciate you both and acknowledge the impact of the message.
harris says
I really love this post!
Lyle says
Breathe.
Rushdi says
Thank you.
This is some real good advice. What usually keeps me going is the thought that there is always someone worse off than you. Yes I have been unemployed for 26 weeks, lost my car, my job and my girlfriend, my friends – resorting to eating noodles and baked beans – but hey I’m still eating. There are people in other parts of the world that are starving and don’t even have water to to drink. What also keeps me going is my faith in god and knowing once you have gotten ground zero – the only way is up and things can only get better. God bless all……….
Katherine says
It sounds silly, but I sorta stumbled upon this post when I needed it most. I’m laying here in bed thinking about all the bad stuff in my life. And there seems to be a lot of it. But this post has made me feel so much better. Its made me realise that I’m only 18 with an entire life ahead of me. And that everything is temporary, meaning I have the power to change it.
Thank you so much. Xxx Bless you. X
Abe Stone says
The thing that always gets me is remembering that we have the ability to choose and control our thoughts and everything really starts there.
It can be difficult when we are overwhelmed by emotions. Sometimes there seems to be nothing I can do to move on. That is were physical techniques like changing your physiology tend to help, getting up, walking around, speaking loudly in an excited tone etc.
EFT has been an incredibly helpful tool for me in recent years as it just deals with the wiring of the emotions and does a lot to lift the weight of the situation.
Brett says
Your site and wisdom has been an absolute life saver for me for the past few weeks and I wanted to say from the whole of my heart, Thank You. I’ve felt just about every emotion in such a short period of time and been trying to deal with the biggest ache in my heart I’ve ever had to deal with and without this site which I read almost everyday for the past few weeks, I honestly don’t know where I’d be right now. You’ve brought me closer to my kids and put a lot of things into perspective and for that I’m forever grateful. Thank you again.
r says
This was so inspirational for me … I needed it…thanks a lot for posting this.
Amberly Miller says
Thank you for this.
sherill says
Hi, this is a very motivating post. It is so true when you said ” It’s always better to attempt to do something great and fail than to attempt to do nothing and succeed”. It is through failing that we learn the lessons life, it is a matter of how we deal with this failure and moving forward to achieve success. Thanks for sharing a great post.
Shawn says
Love this. The quality of my problems today is so much better than the quality of my problems of a few years ago. I have been very blessed. I have been tested and I have failed. I’m up and I’m trying again. One day – I hope soon – I will succeed.
rob stevens says
I will not give up.
David says
I have to add to all the kudos for this post. It’s amazing perspective and right on point. Beautiful, Beautiful, Beautiful. The ego loves to make you feel bad when millions upon millions have it worse. Yes, I face challenges – as we all do in life. Yet, the reminder of gratitude is so important and there is much for me to be grateful for. I do sense times can lead to great things and it is so true that when you can remain grateful and enthusiastic for life at times like this – it paves the way for something fresh and new… and you get to keep the lessons learned. Again, thank you for this post and your site.
k st says
This is a really amazing post. I don’t think I have ever heard happiness defined as being “not the absence of problems but the ability to deal with them.” Excellent!
tim smith says
Go help someone else. Plenty of others have problems too– some much worse than yours, in the big picture of life. You always feel better when you help others.
And remember– “This too shall pass…”
Cheers, your Grand Poobah of Smiles
Ps Always read your Marc and Angel, and your daily Smile-Therapy 🙂
Wolfy says
Greetings from Singapore
What keeps me going ?
The thought that ” my time is limited ” so I have to be unlimited , believe and become .
We are as limited as we think we are ,
Because the greatest hurdle in our lives ,
Is probably our minds,
Freeminds !
teddy sutrisna says
Dear Marc,
Thank you for your motivational words which I read with interest.
Regards, Teddy
jerald says
Thanks a lot for this much needed motivation.
Pav says
This is exactly what I needed to read today. I will try hard to keep going and appreciate things which I have now. Thank you.
Dave says
I read where a lady here wondered why “God was not mentioned in this wonderful advice,” but I think He was. Repeatedly.
The kinds of things written were meant to be comforting to people, and many admit that they were. To me, that is a caring God at work in the lives of all His people.
Dave
Mukesh says
When everything goes wrong, it doesn’t end of life. Consider that just a learning phase of life and learn lesson from mistakes and keep doing hard work.
There is always a sunshine after every night. Be positive and trust yourself.
Emmanuel Olorunyomi says
Great article. I been through a lot academically and currently right now without a job. This article reminded me that my story will be great…in God’s name!
Hayley says
I guess for me – when things are at their very worst -the thing that got me through the day was to do everything I had to do that day to the best of my ability. When my business was failing and we were losing our home and car and had no idea where the next bit of money would come from or when… I lived by this mantra ‘ just do what life gives you to do today’ so if all I could do for my family that day was make something to fill their tummies and wash the dishes or sweep the floor… I did it wholeheartedly with presence and enthusiasm, I spent a lot of time outside in my garden and just absorbed nature – the sunlight, the blue sky, I was grateful for those simple simple things when things were at their bleakest.
Although our worst fears were confirmed but somehow we made it to the other side… sometimes as someone mentioned in the comments – the only things you have that are truly yours are your attitudes, your beliefs and blind faith that everything will be okay again one day. Your story is never finished, sometimes it takes a chapter or two until things change – but it’s doesn’t have to end there!
Silky says
Hi, I’m totally with you. And I’ve never been a negative person. But at the moment I don’t have a lot of good stuff happening in my life. My job, relationship, health, money and future children are all being compromised. It’s funny how when you put a lot of good into the word you don’t get much back in return. Now I never expect people to return the good but it would be nice to receive it when I need it. And right now i need it. Especially at work. Work stress is ruining my life. The stress is due to my bad performance which is due to my bad health. I like helping others and have even helped to raise money for charities. Yet as bad as it sounds I feel a bit forgotten.
I can keep writing about the bad things but that would be even more negative. Tomorrow’s a new day and I will smile and probably make others smile too, it’s just what I do. The day after that I may not, but then I might the day after that. It’s not an everyday thing these days. I wish people could understand my illnesses and let me work more flexible hours. I want to work and I enjoy it. I don’t enjoy being put on performance plans for being unwell.
I’m stopping now. Thank you for reading if you did.
Smiley face.
Bik says
I woke up this morning and the first thing on my facebook page was this article – WOW!! Just the inspiration I needed to put this week behind me and finally move on. Thank you so very much.
I especially related to point 6 with regards to other people’s negativity. The narrow mindedness of people who are only concerned with their reputation as opposed to doing the right thing. I have been let down badly – but I’ve decided that these people are just not worth it and don’t deserve the time of day. The only way is up!!
Thank you Marc and Angel xx
Kirt Natividad says
Thank you! You know this article could be very helpful to every individual…. This should be promoted and shared by everyone. One day, when I am successful I will mention this article as part of my success. 🙂 Thank you so much!
Constance says
Thank you for your thoughtfulness in sharing this post with us. The best thing we can do is to pray, ask God to be with us to direct our plans, and keep going No Matter What. This is my testimony.
Leah says
This was a great read! Thank you! On my own road to self discovery posts like this are incredibly insightful. One of my favorite quotes, which is relevant to this post, and is what I look to when feeling as though I am stuck in a rut is by Martin Luther King Jr. and it reads;
“If you can’t fly then run, if you can’t run then walk, if you can’t walk then crawl, but whatever you do you have to keep moving forward.” 🙂
Marion Liss says
Thank you so much for such sensible information this evening – been feeling like life is to difficult in older age… I’m 70 today now!!
Beth says
I have this bookmarked on my computer – and it’s the perfect pick-me-up after a rotten day or week. Thanks for keeping things in perspective.
Rolando says
I try and think of all the good things in life. The joy of seeing my children laugh. The soothing touch and warmth from my wife
CES says
Thank you so much!
Arnel C. says
my family is my source of motivation…
Bittok says
Thank you so much. I will bookmark this blog
Calm says
I google “when everything in your life is not working” This site came up along with other search results..
Am going through a lot right in my life, not knowing how the story is going to end. But your article really encouraged me, thank you.
Jackie says
My son is in the Air Force, he is having a really bad week and I was searching for something inspirational for me to share with him. In light of the world events , this is very appropriate and shared with him. He has been so quiet for weeks now and finally wrote back :Thanks mom” Thanks Marc and Angel. The wisdom continues…
Tejas says
Wonderful blog… I am going through a bitter and painful break up with love of my life. I would really like to implement all these points in my life and use these whenever I go thru the lows in life even in the future. Thanks to the authors and all others who have posted their experience.
Sara says
This made me cry. I am going through a lot right now. I’m 31 and life is just a mess from every aspect: love life, family, work and a bestie going through double mastectomy. The past year has been the hardest ever everything has been going wrong and it wont stop. I am always the happiest and funniest between my friends. If they only knew…
Thank you for this post.
Xoxo
James says
Just been thrown out by my wife of 18 years and three kids after she found a new lover. This has really lifted me up. Thank you so much and God bless.
Trinity says
Definitely agree with this list:
Think positively.
Eat healthy.
Exercise today.
Worry less.
Work hard.
Laugh often.
Sleep well.
Soulja_Girl says
Thank you, Marc.
This post help me a lot today. I was kind of thinking that all my life, all I ever did was put up with everything.. while others get away with everything.
V says
This made me cry so hard, I really needed this. Everything seems to be going wrong and I needed a little bit of perspective.
Linda Diqaz says
Thank you for this posting Marc.
After the loss of my 15 year old daughter on Feb 16, 2013 our family has been given another blow. Our beloved 3 year old english bulldog, who helped our family with healing and moving forward, through our loss of Lauryn, Lenny was taken from us.
After a successful surgery and 4 hours of being up and walking around, we received the call that he stopped breathing. Words will never express the crushing of hearts, again. If the loss of my 15 year old daughter was not enough, now the loss of my bulldog has me back at zero.
This article is something that I will use as a tool to find a way through all the darkness that I have been given.
Jhem aquino says
I really love this blog. This is the perfect point in my life when I really need something like this to read. Thank you very much. Although I was crying while reading your blog, I really learned a lot. I was very motivated.
Regina D Eiland says
I stumbled across this site while looking for an inspiring quote. What a wonderful blessing! Praising God in the midst of the storm!
A says
Your blogs and articles have changed my life… no I am not exaggerating. Whenever I feel low, I just read one of your articles and I feel so much better. Thanks a ton!