You will never achieve what you are capable of if you are
too attached to the things you’re supposed to let go of.
Many people believe holding on and hanging in there, infinitely, are signs of incredible strength. But there are times when it takes much more strength to know when to let go, and then to actually do it.
In today’s video blog post we’re going to take a look at some signs it might be time to let go.
Video Blog Post:
Signs it’s Time to Let Go (video transcript):
1. Someone constantly expects you to be someone you’re not.
A great relationship is about two things: First, appreciating the similarities, and second, respecting the differences. So be cordial, but don’t completely change who you are for someone else simply because it’s what THEY want, or because it’s what THEY think is best for you.
If someone expects you to be someone you’re not, take a step back. It’s wiser to lose relationships over being who you are, than to keep them intact by pretending to be someone else. It’s easier to nurse a little heartache and meet someone new, than it is to piece together your own shattered identity. It’s easier to fill an empty space in your life where somebody else used to be, than it is to fill the empty space within yourself where YOU used to be.
2. A person’s actions don’t match their words.
Be wary of people who only tell you what you want to hear. It’s so easy to believe someone when they’re telling you exactly what you want to hear, but you have to watch what they do too. Actions speak louder than words – actions speak the whole truth.
Honestly, everybody deserves somebody who helps them look forward to tomorrow. If someone has the opposite effect on you, because they are consistently inconsistent, and their actions never match up with their words, it might be time to let them go. It’s always better to be alone than to be in bad company. In the end, true friendship is a promise made in the heart – silent, unwritten, unbreakable by distance, and unchangeable by time. So don’t just listen to what your “friends” say; watch what they do over the long-term. Your true friends will slowly reveal themselves.
3. You have a habit of moping and feeling sorry for yourself.
If you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t change it, change the way you think about it. Being hurt is something you can’t stop from happening, but being miserable is always your choice. No matter how bad things are, you can always make things worse. Negative thinking creates negative results. Positive thinking creates positive results. Period. The only limits to the possibilities in your life tomorrow are the “buts” you use today. Things always turn out best for people who make the best out of the way things turn out.
Eventually you will realize that happiness is not the absence of problems, but simply the ability to deal well with them. Imagine all the wondrous things your mind might embrace if it weren’t wrapped so tightly around your struggles. Always look at what you have, instead of what you have lost. Because it’s not what the world takes away from you that counts; it’s what you do with what you have left. (Angel and I discuss this in detail in the “Adversity” chapter of 1,000 Little Things Happy, Successful People Do Differently.)
4. You’re clutching tight to an easy-street mentality.
Great accomplishments aren’t easy; they’re worth it! So forget how you feel and remember what you deserve. Right NOW is always the best time to break out of your shell. Chances must be taken, mistakes must be made, and lessons must be learned.
Someday you will look back on your life and realize that everything worthwhile you’ve ever accomplished initially challenged you. And that is as it should be, because big challenges often prepare ordinary people for extraordinary success. Every struggle arises for a reason – either for experience or as a lesson. A great journey is never easy, and no dose of adversity along the way is ever a waste of time if you learn and grow from it.
Remember, an arrow can only be shot by pulling it backwards, and such is life. When life is pulling you back with difficulties, it means it’s going to eventually launch you forward in a positive direction. So keep focusing, and keep aiming!
5. You truly dislike your current situation.
In life, it’s always better to be at the bottom of the ladder you want to climb, rather than the top of the one you don’t. So don’t let people who gave up on their goals talk you out of going after yours. The best thing you can do in most situations is to follow your intuition. Take risks. Don’t just make the safe and easy choices because you’re afraid of what might happen. If you do, nothing good will ever happen.
In addition, realize that it’s not always about trying to fix something that’s broken either. Sometimes it’s about starting over and creating something brand new. Sometimes you need to distance yourself to see things clearly. Sometimes growing stronger means growing apart from old habits, relationships, and circumstances, and finding something different that truly moves you – something that gets you so excited you can’t wait to get out of bed in the morning. That’s what LIVING is all about. Don’t just settle for the default settings in life, when you can customize absolutely everything. (Read The 4-Hour Workweek.)
6. You catch yourself obsessing over, and living in, the past.
Holding on to what’s no longer there holds too many of us back. Some of us spend the vast majority of our lives recounting the past and letting it steer the course of the present. Don’t waste your time trying to live in another time and place. Let it GO! You must accept the end of something in order to build something new. So close some old doors today. Not because of pride, inability or egotism, but simply because you’ve entered each one of them in the past and realize that they lead to nowhere.
Even after the toughest times, eventually you will overcome the heartache, and forget the reasons you cried, and who caused the pain. You will realize that the secret to happiness and freedom is not about control or revenge, but in letting things unfold naturally, and learning from your experiences over the course of time. After all, what matters most is not the first, but the final chapter of your life, which unveils the details of how well you wrote your story. So let go of the past, set yourself free, and open your mind to the possibility of a new beginning.
If you feel like you need to let something go, but you simply haven’t been able to do so, know that you’re not alone. Accepting what is, letting go, and moving on are skills that all of us must learn when facing the realities of life, but these are also skills that take time to master. And today we challenge you to put in a little time…
Sit quietly with yourself, and ask, “What’s the #1 thing I need to let go of right now?” Once you have it figured out, leave us a comment below and let us know what you’re going to start letting go of.
Photo by: Lotus Carroll
I’ve had a huge dilemma in my life since I was a young child and now that I am approaching the end of my life and would like to enjoy the years I have left. I am completely convinced that the toxic people in my life are ones in my own family, my mother, aunt and sister. They are envious of me so blame me for their problems and lean on me daily to carry their “burdens”, all of which they have created themselves. It is one of the most difficult decisions I have ever had to make and that is to eliminate them entirely from my life. What a huge challenge it has been but I know it must be done.
@paula: Good luck. Give yourself some space for a small bit of time or as long as you need to heal. I have done just that. Now, 20 years later, I am willing to let them back into my life. It’s hard and not easy. What I have learned is more about me. I need to set boundaries. A visualization I have is similar to dog training. When the conversation or bad feelings start coming back/repeating themselves, stop it. Explain, in a neutral tone, why their actions are offensive., then change the topic. If it is too difficult, leave on a good note. Remember, you left in control. YOU succeeded. Hope this helps.
Jeanne B says
The first word that rose was “fear”. I need to let go of the fear of tomorrow; the fear that I am incapable of making it on my own; the fear that I will never be able to make good decisions.
I’ve only just discovered something called Narcissistic Personality Disorder, and that I am the daughter of a narcissistic mother, whose manipulations twisted my psyche so profoundly that it rendered me utterly dependent upon her and incapable of being my own person. She’s been gone for eight years, but it’s taken that long to wake up from the fog and find this diagnosis (which fit her to a horrific “T”). Now begins the healing process, and learning to stop being afraid, and to begin to trust myself.
@Michelle and Jeanne: Thank you for your wise words of encouragement. You used the words “fog” and “narcissistic” which fit my situation exactly. I will heed your words of advice and do my best to eliminate this turmoil from my life so that I can enjoy myself finally. Thank you for responding.
I have to let go of my husband.
* to stay with him will mean financial suicide – he spends nearly double what we make and has done for so long. Only $4000 paid off our mortgage in 20 years!
* he slept with my ‘best’ friend
* he tried to sleep with one of his employees – thank god she thought enough of herself and me to say something!
* he left me alone while I was very ill (I had been in hospital the night before for a gallbladder that was ready to burst) and was still full of morphine to attend a business meeting that could have been done from his office when we got back home.
* he is crippling his business financially
– Oh goodness, I really need to let go for good!!!
Ron C says
I opened a business 16 months ago and have been battling myself with what I thought I wanted with opening this business. It’s hard to have a dream, take the risk, move across the country, spend money, to learn it’s not what you wanted and or expected..
I’m not excited to go to work, the reason I opened it was because I enjoined the industry and what I was going to sell. Now I make excuses not to do what was once the reason I opened the business.
I feel like a failure..? Has anyone else gone thru something like this?
I need to let go of someone who takes me for granted. Feels really good when I write it down 🙂
I’m letting go of an obviously failed relationship. May GOD give me the strength I need to move forward.
I have a great relationship now. I am going to let go of all the bad things i did and let go of the love i had for that person. I want to keep my new relationship strong and going. I hurt my ex and I never wanna do that to my current partner. I do not need to revisit my past again. Time to let go. I’m going to start doing it today so i can continue our great relationship.
This is a wonderful post – thank you for this. Last week was the first time in 3 years (maybe even much longer in some regards) that I started to let go of so many things I have been dragging around. It has felt really good – like I finally have a new beginning.
But this is not an easy process I am finding out. This morning while I was getting ready for work, a bunch of the old stuff was waiting for me. By the time I was walking to work, I was angry, bitter and felt empty.
I came across this post and its exactly what I needed. Right now, I am having to let go of a close group of friends I had through most of my twenties. I am very sad to be doing this, and I think many of them are angry at me or have a variety of mixed emotions towards me, but no one seems to want to talk about it. It makes it hard to know what to do and it hurts, a lot sometimes. I love them a lot.
I still want to see them, but things are different now and it will never be like it was or nearly as frequent. I just want to find a way to let them know I will always care about them. I guess we are trying to figure out how we fit into each other’s lives now and this is hard to do.
Thank you Marc and Angel. I have come to realize that I am not good at “letting go”. It sounds so easy and makes perfect sense, but my heart still wants to hold on and create an idea of who he is and what we could be, despite that never being the reality. But even just seeing how many others are struggling with this same thing, makes me feel less alone and gives me hope that I too can find the strength to let go.
I need to let go of my 3-year relationship. I need to let go of hope that we can get to an understanding, when each time we prove differently. I need to let go of things that I cannot change. I need to understand that, when the man I love tells me “with or without me you’re still gonna be alone”, he really ment it ….. As he proved it sooo many times. The best decision for me is to move forward alone. Better be alone than in bad company. I need to let go of the man he really is and stop mistakening him for the guy he is not and will never be.
Thank you for all the inspiring posts, helps to know we are not alone.
I also need to let go of an ex. It was my 1st real relationship, lasted only 6 months, and ended almost 2 years ago and I still struggle with it. After things started to not be working out, I made some communication mistakes, but then she ended it and was very judgmental and hurtful. She was verbally abusive and put me down as a person. I was so hurt and traumatized that I didn’t stand up for myself.
Then about a year later after torturing myself for too long I finally got the nerve to reach out and tell her she was wrong for putting me down like that. She didn’t respond well to that, and we left it on poor terms.
A few weeks ago I emailed again just wishing her well and apologizing for anything I did to hurt her. No response. I know I need to let go of someone who didn’t respect me but am struggling still.
Letting go of negativity…realizing that I can’t stop loving two people and that it doesn’t make me a horrible terrible person. I’m in the process of healing a deep wound, having had someone taken from me too soon many years ago…I need to let go of the hatred and guilt towards myself, because I am coping the best I can, and trying not to hurt anyone in the process. Loving 2 people as best I can, and learning to love myself slowly…
Sadly I need to put a failed marriage from 15 years ago behind me. The person has moved and I am reminiscing over what was so long ago and no longer exists.
I am trying to let go of an ex boyfriend that has come back into my life after 7 months and a current boyfriend who only wants to casual date and I want more. I’ve hung onto both of them fearing if I let go I will have nothing. I know deep in my soul neither one of these are going anywhere. I know that if I want to move forward in finding another relationship that is good for me, I have to let these two go. They are taking up way too much negative space in my life. I liked what I read in your article and hopefully I will find the strength to let go and move on. I am trying to find that thing that makes me happy to get out of bed every morning and I be grateful for what I have.
I am letting go of a man that has proven to be unavailable for 5 years. I am letting go of my need to make this right and “win” his love. I’m letting go of my dependency on the crumbs he gave me to keep me hooked. I am letting go of the fear that there is no love for me on the other side of this separation.
I am letting go of an ex-boyfriend that told me all the things I wanted to hear, but his actions didn’t match his words. What I regret the most is not breaking it off right away, instead two yrs later i realize this was not going anywhere and was no longer happy in the relationship. I didn’t want to let go but I know this is the best thing for me to do now that I see he really does not care for me, or what is important to me. Its so hard at times not gonna lie :(…trying to keep strong.
This is truly a journey of endurance with patience, faith and trust. I could not forgive myself before, but now I am actually learning to be more optimistic with my thoughts and actions.
Carol Lee says
I am trying to let go of a friendship/relationship that went too far. This person is using me and my money. Sometimes I think I would not matter should the money element go away. I feel so stupid and think, to myself, “how in the world did I get myself into this?”.
I view myself as being kind, loving, self confident, upbeat, positive, driven, successful in business and friendships. I have never had this kind of person in my life before and am embarrassed that I even do. After some counseling sessions, I have learned that it is me keeping this person in my life for some reason. He fulfills a big void in my life and in my Heart. Conversely, he creates many other problems that were never mine, that seem to be my responsibility now. I am now going to a group that deals with “Co-dependency”. Perhaps I have had this trait, but never realized it.
I love this person so much, and miss him deeply when I travel out of town for business trips, which is several times a month. When I return, there are problems and issues he seems to have that I am pulled in, to help solve.
Right when we think we are strong, we get challenges in life that push us out of our comfort zone. I believe this is a chance for me to learn and grown once I make a decision to push this person out of my life, who has drawn me into a painful, hurtful and a co-dependent situation.
It hurts so much, but also, reading all of these other entries makes me realize that I am not alone. No matter how strong I thought I was, I am human, and I have to realize that this is simply a new challenge that will only bring me new insight and understanding into my heart and “human -ness”. I hope to become more tolerant and understanding of these kinds of situations when friends come to me with similar issues in the future. I was never a judgmental person, but I think I just never understood what kind of pain others may have been going through. Now, I so much understand, and have gained more empathy towards them.
God works in mysterious ways….he is now allowing me to feel and see something so painful to me, that I hope once I get through this and past it, it will make me a better person, a more loving and understanding person for it. It is only through pain and hurt that we realize a truth in ourselves.
I guess its going to hurt, but we have to let go of things and people, to get to the other side of love and light. Carrie Underwood has a song where part of the lyrics go something like this; ” I guess it’s going to have to hurt, I guess I’m going to have to cry, and let go of some things I love to get to the the other side. I guess its going break me down, like falling when you’re trying to fly. It’s sad, but sometimes moving on with the rest of your life, Starts with Goodbye”.
I want to let go of a ex gf. I was emotionally dependant on someone who I could not depend on. They have moved on with someone else and I have been left with extreme anger, regret and sadness. I still yearn strongly for them and fantasise that they will come back. Every time the phone rings my heart jumps. I also keep imagining her new life being happier than she was with me.
I must live in reality and remove these negative thoughts. I must realise my own self worth, open up and step into the future without clinging to the past. I must stop wallowing and become heathy and strong.
I want to let go of thoughts about my ex and her son. I have a second chance for a better life. I want this new beginning and i want to be happy and i want to be positive. And i want a new love.
I let go of a relationship I did not end from someone who betrayed me and then kept me with them by telling me they loved me. I let go of all the fantastic good times and believing he was the love of my life and I will never find this again. I let go of how he still hurts by being with someone else. Of memories of love x
I need to let go of this one guy, for the past 3 years we have kinda been on and off, when he thinks am falling out of love he comes back begging, this has continued for so long. HE is my first and I have not been able to feel so much love for anyone like I feel for him to the point where he told me that he knows am in love with him and I wont stop loving him, to a great extend am afraid its true. But he doesn’t treat me right and he sometimes says some awful things that just makes me cry so bad. I really want to let go of this one guy bcos I need my life back but I keep going back each time. Shedding so much tears as I type this. God please help me to let go once and for all and for d rest of my life I will be most grateful pls.
After reading this article and the comments it is now obvious to me that I must let go of my ex girlfriend. She ended things and got over it so fast it made me feel like i meant nothing to her all along. It sucks realizing the person you’d do anything and everything for wouldn’t do the same for you. I guess that’s life. Thanks for the article, it helps.
@Sheral. ……I’m in a similar position as you. I gave up everything to help my husband advance his career (my job, house….We had to move cross country for his promotion). We agreed to not have children years ago and now I’m 43, he’s 41 and he wants a baby. Pretty impossible for me! He wants a younger woman now. I feel betrayed, lost. I’m doing my best to let go of my anger towards him. How can I blame him for changing his mind about having a family? He can’t help how he feels. I’m trying to be positive and figure out how to start my life over…..need a job, place to live, etc. I need anything positive right now!
I let go of 2 friendships who has lived out its course and purpose in my life, I let go of the analysis of the ending, and I choose to listen to my intuition to trust this ending, and step into the nurturing feeling and spaciousness of my new beginning. Acceptance and the power of heart are flowing through me, and an openness is here. My thanks for your article 🙂
I need to let go of my negative and emotionally abusive and neglectful husband. I know once I let go and I’m out of this situation, I can be happy because being around him is just dragging my self esteem down. It’s a long process but eventually it I will be able to go on my way. 🙂
I am struggling with a huge decision, whether to move back out of my partners house or just stick with it. He and my 16 year old son do not get on and can’t stand to be in the same room as each other. Nothing really bad has happened, clash of personalities and over bearing rules of the house that we never used to live by when my children and I were on our own. This bad feeling is making us all miserable and I am stuck in the middle. My partner does like to have control but not to a terrible extent. I know he adores me and would do anything for me and has given me allot. I feel very grateful for his generosity but it does come with conditions allot of the time. when we are together, holidays ect,we are magical but when we are in a domestic situation and my son is in the house the atmosphere is awful. I have said I should move back out and we can continue our relationship as before, as a solution to the bad atmosphere, but he said if I do it’s over. We have been together for almost 10 years and I love him to bits. I know leaving would destroy him and I think us leaving his space would help but he sees it as me being defeatist. I just don’t know what to do…..
@Carmen – I am in a similar situation as you with a 17 year old son. My partner and he don’t even talk to each other. My partner doesnt’ try to get to know him and it hurts me. I’d love to connect with you if possible. If you want to – my email is [email protected] . I wish you the best.
Interesting. A Google search on a different “relationship” topic led me to this site not 2 hours ago. I tried really hard to be a good husband to my soon-to-be-ex-wife. Marriage was extremely difficult for me, and her and her family brought extra challenges to the table. Right now it seems she is only recounting all of my mistakes and shortcomings and non of the good I have done for her, her family and our children.
It think maybe it’s time she has her fun and then goes on and sees “what’s out there” and if she can find someone as hard working and dedicated as me with no shortcomings, then all the power to her! (Newsflash: she’s not anywhere near perfect herself, but maybe holds people to pretty high standards anways…)
Yeah. It’s hard looking back at a 10+ year failed marriage… but it’s time to let this one go.
I have to let go of my mom, we have struggled to have a meaningful relationship my whole life, I am now in my 40’s with a family of my own. She recently let me know she does not want any kind of relationship with me. I was hurt at first, but now realize this is a relief in that I know longer have to make futile attempts to reconcile. My only real problem is “how” to move forward in this world without a relationship with my mother. So I need to let it go starting yesterday.
I need to let go of my life long best friend who has chosen her boyfriend over our friendship. We have been friends for over 30 years. Now we live in the same city, and never see each other. I miss her so much and feel like I have lost a part of myself because I have lost her. I really think she is the one who is lost, but it affects me so much as she was like a sister to me. I respected her so much and Im sick of crying about it and need to let her go. Its affected me too much as I feel like I cant think about any of my childhood memories because all of them are with her. Anyway, its really hard, but I have to move forward.
Thanks for the post 🙂
Lamar Jone says
Even though in the last 2 years I have made huge strides in my career and how I deal with people and situations, I have not let go of the fact that I hurt two woman 2 years ago and they both want nothing to do with me. I was going through a hard time in my life and I was hurt so I inadvertently hurt both of them. I haven’t really recovered since from the fact that I hurt them and although I have continued to make strides in my career, I have struggled with making a true connection with another person. I have to accept the fact that hurt them, thank god that I learned from them, and let the situation go. That’s the only way I will be able to move forward in my life and live to the best of my ability.
I need to let go of the negative self talk – I’m not smart enough, I’m not good enough, I will never amount to anything, I will never succeed at knowing what I am meant to do in this life, etc… On and on the loop goes.
Trying every day to do better and be better. Thank you for the post; it helped calm my constant negative chatter.
I need to let go of my anger and my ability to not always control everything in my life. Life is unpredictable and nothing ever works out the way you want them too….ever. I made a huge mistake and dove into the impulsion of giving someone something of myself that they never deserved to begin with. I was naive and bought into the lies that I meant something to them. My whole world has been shaken and my confidence has dropped significantly. I need to regain strength that only I have the power the change the situation. To be who I need to be in order to grow past my indiscretion. Infinite loop of negative thinking…I’m not good enough, I am a horrible person, I will never mount to anything… over and over again. The rabbit hole is very deep and very dark. Reading your post has helped me to reply and to express myself. Writing about it/reading about it is very reassuring that everything will be ok and that we are all strong enough to be who we need to be in order to be happy 🙂
Patty Golden says
I stumbled upon this website, and I am definitely saving it to my favorites. I was in an emotionally abusive relationship for close to one year. The man I was in love with (still am) told me he doesn’t love me any longer. He always told me he never wanted to “share” me with anyone. I am a teacher, and he resented when I had to do after school things with my students. I live in Florida and went home this summer for two weeks to see my mom and dad. My dad isn’t doing very well, and I wanted to spend time alone with them. (I am 54, and my parents are 79 and 82). The ex bf was enraged because I put him “2nd” again. While I was at my parents’ house, he ripped up photos of us and texted me a photo of the torn pictures with the caption “just the beginning.” Even though I know he’s not good for me, I miss him and still love him. He keeps calling me, and I have cried to him begging him for a second chance when I haven’t done anything wrong. He keeps setting up dates and then cancels them. I know he’s abusive from past statements and behavior. I have cried myself to sleep almost every night. I think he is enjoying my pain because he feels like I caused him pain by not putting him before my parents, children, and students. I know I have to let go and move on. I have to. I am scared that I will never meet anyone again, and I don’t want to be alone. Thank you for this post.
The article and posts here are amazing. I can empathize with a lot of the things said here.
Today I know that I need to let go of my ex girlfriend of four years. She ended our relationship with no warning at all. She has fallen for a married woman and no longer wants to be with me. Truly the one who is the most committed hurts worse. Yes I love her but have to let go for my own sake and sanity.
Antonio Campbell says
I need to let go of past failures and bringing them into my present situations. I have to let go of the pity behavior and understand love comes with joy and pain. I have to letgo of the denial to let go, and realize you can’t lose sleep over people who haven’t for you. Thanks for helping me release.
I need to let go of the thought that the woman that I love (more than I could express here ) obviously doesn’t have the same perspective on “Second Chances, understanding, or the idea of giving us a chance… I know that she loves me, but I have to accept the fact that I can not control her choices. So along with letting anger and heartache (built up from close relatives and friends passing away, I also must let go of the hope that ” she ” will be my woman again. I wish her happiness, and I am in search of happiness as well. “What’s meant to be will be.”
Hello everyone I am trying to let go of my boyfriend of 4 years. He is an drug addict and his many attempts to get clean always end up in relapses. It has caused us to lose our house and put us in a financial struggle. I don’t know how to let go even after all the lies and the way he acts when he is high, which is most of the time. But when we first got together he was clean and he was such a different person… I fell in love with him and I keep thinking he will break free of his addiction and be able to be happy together. Deep down inside I know he will not change and I am just lying to myself. I need to let go for my children sake and my own sake. I just don’t know how. I’m trying to figure it out.
Wow! Great to see we are all in this together. Going through the motions of being human. And all that is attached to it. I’m letting go of a great man with a huge heart and beautiful inside and out. Letting him go because there are things I need him to be ( hold my hand in public, keep me warm with his arms around me if I’m cold, etc…) that he doesn’t give. Not on his make up to display affection . It’s been over 4 years together and I’ve changed my own self needs to accommodate his lacking of. And it took a toll. Constant heavy heart for me and feeling guilty that I wanted to change him into something he is not. Resentment started to kick in the last few months and really noticed how unhappy we both were. Saddens me to say goodbye just because he lacks something that is so big to me in a relationship. Polar opposites we were on the subject of public display of affection. I mean I didn’t want him to suck my face , grind me ( omg) or be lovey-dovey dude, but, just simple hold my hand or arm around me while we walk. I started to think I was asking to much , even if he did it once a week grab my hand on the street that would suffice me. Just ONCE!! But no I received nothing. Then I got to feeling that this relation no longer serves me. Am I out of line !? Or am I letting go due to selfish needs? Feeling confused. Would love some feedback . Be well all, xox
Thank you for this post. I really needed this video today. Today I am letting go of someone that is currently on a “work trip” with another woman. I will not carry the burden for his shortcomings and lies. Someone better awaits. 🙂
The comments that all of you have made have helped me to understand that I am most certainly not alone, and that right there is what I need to let go of….the fear of being alone. When I’m single I feel like less of a person and that shows in my promiscuity and lack of self control with men. This is very personal but I’m glad to talk about it. It takes more strength to just be ok with being alone and being myself, but I won’t be doing it alone. I can see that now…thank you all
robert p says
letting go of the one that gave me the most happiness and all my relationships on that I’ve ever had. she was one of my closest friends but I don’t think we will ever be a couple again. out of desperation I found this website so hopefully I could figure out what I need to do 🙂
I’ve tried to let go, for those are the very words used by someone that I pushed away thinking that if they cared enough they’d stay it was reassurance. Little did I know in the confusion until I was let go, how much I was in love, at 27 for the first time i finally learned what that was. Oh there’s always better, there’s always the next everyone says. I just wanted a second shot.
I am incredibly thankful for your blog. I’m 26 and just started architecture grad school in June. Over the past two months I’ve really noticed that I am not enjoying grad school for some reason and feel incredibly lost (architecture is a different field from what I studied in the past).
I want to let of of the tendency to think that every part of my future should be planned out and let go of the anxiety from uncertainty or from wanting to be perfect. I want to let go completely of the role my parents think I should when I was growing up and learn to love and embrace exactly how I am.
Thank you for the wonderful blog. It is uplifting to be here.
I need to let go that the one I loved, the one I pushed away, will never be made happy by me again, and I need to let go of not being able to forgive myself…
Today I have finally let go of someone I have held truly dear to my heart for some time now. I personally have never wanted to make this decision, but it is time for me to stop sacrificing my own shot of happiness for her indecisiveness.
Throughout, the time span of it all it occurred to me, I am jaded by this constant behavior and am no longer going to live my life controlled by another. One thing that has made this feel so much easier is the fact I hold no negativity towards her, just love and the best for her life. Over time I have accepted this situation and forgave her for her mishaps with only one favor in return; she will forgive mine.
My personal mantra that I wrote to help me, even though it is a spin off a quote by Christopher Columbus.
“The hardest part is to get past the surf, but In order to discover new Oceans one must first lose sight of the Shore.” – Jaded
I’m trying to move on from my 3 yr relationship with my ex boyfriend. Although I officially broke it off with him, he put me in an impossible situation where I had no choice but to end things (because I respect myself enough to let go). It felt like I lost a part of myself because we once both dreamed of getting married and having a family. But he emotionally abused me when he accused me in the end. For a year before we split, he silently held onto grudges against me and for those petty reasons, he no longer wanted to marry me. I know he was wrong to blame me for his short-comings, but it deeply wounded me. I’m getting back to “okay” after a month of focusing on me, but it’s so so hard to completely let go when I wake up every morning and the first thing I think is “We broke up. It really happened. And I should be happier without him, so why am I feeling so sad?”