by Scott Sind
When we are aware of our weaknesses or negative tendencies, we open the opportunity to work on them.
Ever had one of those moments when all you wanted to do was crawl back in bed, put a pillow over your head and shut out the world for a few hours? For a few days?
For the rest of the year?
I’m willing to bet that you have wanted to throw in the towel at some point. And it’s okay if you have. It’s a perfectly normal response, actually.
Human beings have an elaborate, built-in defense mechanism designed to keep us safe. The only problem is that the system doesn’t do a very good job of threat assessment. All dangers are equal, whether the threat is a hungry lion or the empty judgments of others. Our minds and bodies react the same way to both—we retreat back into our cave, where the soft glow of the fire keeps us safe and warm.
You’ve said it before: “It just won’t work.” “Why am I even trying this?” “I don’t know what I’m doing.” “This is stupid.” Deep down you know you’re trying to rationalize your way out of doing something that’s scary, whether it’s looking for a new job, starting a business, writing a book, or calling up your estranged sibling. And every time you rationalize, you sink further into the depths where the pressure of negativity will ultimately crush you.
A few years ago I wrote a novel. Sometimes it was easy, when the words flowed onto the page and I saw the story clearly in my head. Other times it was as if my fingers were made of lead and the story disappeared behind layers of thick fog. On those days I felt like giving up—like I was never going to finish, and even if I did, the book would be terrible.
So I quit writing. My manuscript sat there, untouched, for over a year, and I agonized over it daily because I had sunk so deeply into the rationalization that I wasn’t cut out to be a writer. Every day that I didn’t write I died a little bit inside. I knew that I should be creating, giving the characters life and using words to paint the pictures I saw in my head onto the page.
A little over a year into my creative isolation, I had an epiphany. I started thinking about my book, and my life as a writer, differently. I discovered little tricks to coax the writer within me out long enough to put words on the page. At first these were fleeting moments—maybe ten minutes here and there. But soon, and without much effort, I was spending more and more time working on my novel, enjoying the process, and even laughing off those moments when I couldn’t produce any words.
The very things that had previously driven me into isolation—fear and insecurity—actually propelled me forward now. I’d learned, through various techniques and mindset shifts, to prevent myself from sinking completely into the depths of negativity. The result? I’m now more focused and better able to climb over obstacles and wade through the challenges that come my way. I’m happy to share these tips with you so you can accomplish more, and live an abundant, more confident life.
1. Frame your questions in a positive light.
“What if I fail?”
“What will people think of me if I’m wrong?”
These kinds of questions bait us into negative thinking. By framing our decision-making this way, we’ve [Read more…]